Love UnExpected (Love's Improbable Possibility) (2 page)

Then m
y grandmother called with my mother on a three way asking for money and apologizing for her indiscretions as a parent all in the same breath. Needless to explain why, I changed dormitories on campus, privatizing my address and telephone number. I knew they wouldn’t visit. People in the hood never go anywhere. Since then I’ve minimized the information I gave my brother. He didn’t mean for any of them to reach me and was even willing to have his peoples who were in the same prison as O “handle” (
his word)
him but I begged him to drop it. I explained that responding to it would confirm where I was and I didn’t want that at all.

I chatted a little bit more with my
Akeem and left. It’s always hard leaving him. He, along with Chyna, were the only positive references of home I cherished. Everything else was gloomy. I hated the thought of Jersey.  I stopped at a nearby outlet to do a little shopping to kill time. After an hour or so I headed to the airport. Now that I’d seen my brother, I couldn’t be happier to leave.

On the plane ride home I got comfortable in my seat and immediately tried to relax. My mind wrestled with so much. I had so much to deal with, specifically a line item labeled
A.D. Jacobs
.

~~~~~~~~~~

Panting. Sweating. The cogs of my mind racing. I’d just awakened from another nightmare consisting of home—J-Boog, bullets, and my punctured heart. I hated them. Despised their haunting nature. I thought I’d escaped them each time I went long periods without them. But when they came, I was reminded that no matter how far from home I’ve physically traveled, I was still a slave to those deadly circumstances. To my fate. No matter how often I tried, it was clear that I was meant to be alone. Exiled to a fucked up land called loneliness, solitude.    

It was Sunday morning, five days after my blow up with Azmir.
Often on Sunday mornings, in lieu of attending church like I did as a kid, I would reflect on my life—the good and bad. One thing that I no longer had to worry about on my “bad list” was how I was going to have to repay Sebastian. That problem had weighed on me for a long time. Having it off my shoulders was certainly a huge respite.

That
sense of relief brought my stream of thoughts to Azmir.
The man with the gold pocket watch.
That damn pocket watch flooded the forefront of my mind. My guilt had finally slapped me in the face.
Doomed to my fate
. I was perturbed by his benevolence, but he made it clear that paying off Sebastian wasn’t a loan.

Wonder if he’s changed his mind given my blow up at his job.

His gesture was generous and could only mean he was truly interested in me.
Had I cut off my nose to spite my face?

Resigned to this fucked up land called loneliness.

Remorse set in. I looked at the clock that read
six twenty-three. In an instant, I decided to bite the bullet and tell Michelle what had taken place. I picked up the phone and when she answered, I unloaded more forceful than I’d realized I had in me.

After I finished with the office fiasco there was
an expectant pause. I gave her room to reply. But nothing.

“Shelly, you don’t have to tell me. I know I’ve fucked up
,” I admitted preemptively.

She immediately hissed, “…royally!” I braced myself. “I don’t know what else to say. I actually don’t think that I need to because I can see you feel like shit. What are you going do to get back in his good graces is all I want to know.”

“I was thinking more on the traditional repentant side. A few things have come to mind,” I answered confidently. I had been giving it some thought over the past few days.

“They all
had better be superior because you really need to redeem yourself…and you’ve been on the clock for a few days now. I can’t believe you haven’t apologized yet. No. I take that back…I forgot who I was talking to,” she said dryly. She was upset with my behavior. Worst of all, she was disappointed in me.

I spent the next few minutes revealing my plan to her. She helped me with a few recommendations. I had decided to woo my way back into Azmir’s favor, baller style. My next call went to Petey. I needed inside help to bring my plans into fruition. Azmir was a busy man and I could barely get a moment of his time when he was chasing
me
. Now that I am the one doing the chasing I had to use every resource available to me. I needed interference with his schedule and I knew Ice Queen Peg wouldn’t be very cooperative. I made plans for a Saturday and Petey agreed to have all of his assistants clear his schedule for that day and he would try to do what he could from his end. Then the expensive part: planning an event that would impress Azmir Jacobs.

~~~~~~~~~~

Azmir

I was meeting with Big D when my phone alerted me of a text. I looked to find it was Rayna. I didn’t know what to expect. I hadn’t spoken to her since she spazzed out on me
last week at the rec. I was beginning to think she was psycho. The only reason I wasn’t fully convinced was because of her distance. Had she truly been a deranged woman she wouldn’t have stayed away for so long. 

Are you with her
?

I was confused. Who was she referring to? Maybe she hit me by accident.
I’ll play along.

And she would be...?

My replacement
.

I thought it was a cute attempt at breaking the ice. But she was going to have to come better than that. She was out of line that day at the rec.

Cute. What can I do for you
?
I replied in between conversing with Big D. I know it wasn’t the most inviting response but I had to see where all of this was going before making her think shit was all good.

Ouch. Well, I can see you’re still salty with me. I guess I should just cut to the point. I’d like to apologize for my behavior and the awful things I said to you
.

She was showing humility. A brother can’t lie, I felt an immediate sense of relief and finally decided that she wasn’t totally crazy.
Good, because I really like Rayna.
In an honest moment, I would admit to missing her.

It’s all gravy. Done deal.

No, It’s not. My reaction and outburst were totally unacceptable. You didn’t deserve that. Plus, seeing that we’ve made love I don’t want our next encounter to be one of smashing
.

Rayna tried to infuse a little humor and had a little game. Before I realized it, I had released a little
snort. Big D looked annoyed. He gave me and my phone a once over that said it all. I could see why he’d react, I chuckled like a little bitch. Even a fool could tell I was communicating with a woman. She had me intrigued and I was all in.

I accept your a
pology. Not sure about the lovemaking or smashing…don’t want to choose the wrong method and have you come into the rec going postal and shit
.
I couldn’t resist.

Haha. Really funny, Mr. Jacobs. ***extreme sarcasm here*** How soon can I see you? And don’t tell me you’ll get back to me after checking your schedule. I don’t wanna be fit into your schedule, I want to BE your itinerary. How’s tomorrow at 3PM.

She was aggressive. I liked it. But I still had to see if it was possible.

Indeed. Let me see what I can do in terms of moving things around. How long are we talking?

I had to know. I had just about every appointment for tomorrow canceled in the past three days. That has never happened before. It made room for me to catch up on things that I’d been putting off because of work. Considering the fact that I’d recently lined up a few flexible items when business plans got canceled, knowing the timing of this “meeting” would help a lot.

Plan to be preoccupied well into the nite. Meet me at the Irish Pub near LAX. See you then
.
She ended it there not leaving me room for rebuttal. She knew what she was doing. She had my attention.

  After leaving the meeting with Big D, while Petey and I walked to the truck
, I whistled an old jam: “
Sometimes I love her…sometimes I love her not…I ain’t letting her go…she’s all I got
…”. I’m not sure where it came from but it was on the dome.

Petey clowned me with, “This broad got yo’ bitch ass singin’.”

“What?” I asked but knew where he was going with it.

He continued to laugh with our muscle, Marcus. Petey was putting me on blast. I wasn’t mad. As I’ve said before, this chick, Rayna, had me going.

“Yo, that thing with the goons in the “Wood” for tomorrow been pushed back. I told ‘dem niggas not to holla at us until they got they shit in check,” Petey informed me.

“I’m sure that didn’t sit well with them. These young niggas are preemies. They lack patience and forethought. They want to go straight for power without learning the trade. I gotta feeling this youn
gin’, Supreme, is gonna be a problem,” I warned.

“I keep telling my little peoples that he fucks wit’ to tell him to chill for a minute and he can have half those blocks. Word done been out for a minute that you retiring, I heard he threatening war and shit. You offering to meet with the little nigga should’a been all good, you know? He knew you was tryna’ meet ‘em half way. I hear ‘dem little niggas got arsenal
,” Petey said.

“I’m tryna’ bow out gracefully. Let them little niggas take shit too far. I got something for they asses
,” I declared.

“Yeah, ‘dat’s what I’m afraid of…killin’ these kids. But this here is a game of honor. Fuck er’thing else
,” Petey said in agreement.

“Kid still fucking his mother?” I asked.

“Indeed.”

“Let’s keep that in our back pocket
,” I advised.

I fe
lt in my gut something was going to pop off. I had a couple of entry level management individuals, also known as block captains, getting knocked and cuffed. I knew when a shake down by
One Time
was happening, which meant law enforcement was cracking down on street activity. I could also feel an adversary on the come up. Although these were damn near babies trying to run up on my territory, they were reckless. They shot first and recalled later when whatever substance they were high on had come down. They were worse than bitches. Bitches would cry immediately after causing irreparable damage. These young cats would wait ‘til they entered the yard, become somebody’s bitch and
then
cry. I had seen it time and time again.

Call it my old age
, but I saw how inner-city young black men all had the same ending—death or prison. This gang shit was out of control. I’ve always hated it but saw how it was an inevitable course for kids. They had no other options. Either kill for protection or be killed. I tried to offer a solution with my local basketball teams and funding a couple of Boys and Girls’ Clubs. I also fund summer camps; overnight and day programs. I saw modest effects of it, but the young males had it hard. The game is fucked up and I was losing the stomach for it. 

The next day I was headed for L.A. to see Rayna. I received a text from a number that I didn’t recognize. It read
:

Hey, it‘s Trisha. I’m textin U from my friend’s fone bcuz I left mine at the hotel this morning. Could U get it for me? xoxo

I had to laugh. This young ass girl thinks she’s slick. I confiscated her phone before I sent her ass packing late last night. I do this often, especially with young girls because they love sharing pictures with their friends
and
on social sites. And this Trish chick wasn’t any different. I met her at a UCLA basketball game a couple of months back. She sought me out through her girlfriend that Wop had been involved with. Trisha was hot. Beautiful cocoa skin, long eyelashes and a tight body. I could tell she knew she was dope and I liked her aggressiveness. She kept eyeing me the whole time at the game and made her wishes known before we left the game that night. She told her girlfriend I reminded her of the first crush she had on an older guy and she wanted to act out a few things that she couldn’t as a kid. She promised not to disappoint.
These young girls are off the damn chain
.

I gave her my number and we chatted a couple of times. Trisha had been begging to hook up so I finally relented last ni
ght and got us a modest room. Shit, I was horny as hell. I ain’t had no pussy in over a week and no good pussy since my time with Rayna in Phoenix. Good was an inoperative description—Rayna’s pussy made me want to do things that I couldn’t admit to publicly. When we fucked in Phoenix, she let down all guards and offered herself to me wholly. She exposed her submissive capabilities and unleashed the beast in me. For the first time in my life, I’d made love to a woman. I can’t explain what had gotten into me, only that we connected on a level I never knew existed. That experience demonstrated to me that I had needs of her that no other woman could satisfy. That scared the shit out of me. Then she left me.

So, when this young and ripe Trisha came around
I was game. I figured she knew she had to come with it since she talked so much shit. I had Wop pick her up in my Range because his ride was being worked on. I’m sure he told her it was my truck. I know this because when I confiscated her phone while she was in the bathroom showering, I saw pictures of the inside of my ride. There were also pictures of the hotel room and the bathroom. She didn’t manage any of me but she did take a few of herself in the mirror with her bra and underwear on when she was getting ready.