Love, Rosie (97 page)

alone
again
and
I
couldn’t
take
it.
Now
I’m
beginning
to
question
my
deci-

sion.
Should
I
stay
with
him
and
learn
to
love
him
again,
or
should
I
leave

and
learn
to
survive
on
my
own,
to
be
independent?
I
just
don’t
think
I
can

face
another
tiny
flat
and
one
crappy
wage
for
myself
and
Katie
to
survive
on.

But
if
I
could
just
forgive
him.
If
I
could
just
erase
the
image
of
his

lips
kissing
someone
else’s
every
time
he
talks
to
me.
Every
time
he

touches
me
my
skin
crawls
and
I
feel
so
much
hate
for
him
it’s
unnerving.

It’s
hard
for
my
wounds
to
be
healed
by
the
very
same
man
who
put
them

there.

And
he’s
so
bloody
gung-ho
about
everything.
He’s
Mr.
Enthusiastic

about
going
to
see
a
counselor
together
and
he
takes
a
few
hours
out
of
his

day
to
talk
to
me,
really
talk
to
me.
It’s
all
just
such
a
textbook
solution
of

“How
to
please
your
wife
after
shagging
another
woman.”
First
you
make

an
appointment
to
see
the
counselor,
making
sure
to
make
a
song
and
a

dance
about
the
fact
you’re
canceling
important
meetings
to
go,
then
cook

the
dinner
every
day
and
fill
the
dishwasher,
ask
your
wife
a
million
times
a

day
if
she
is
OK
and
if
there’s
anything
you
can
do
for
her,
do
the
weekly

shopping
remembering
to
include
thoughtful
little
gifts
like
her
favorite

chocolate
cake
or
a
book
that
you
think
she
might
like,
spend
a
few
hours

during
the
day
to
sit
in
silence
with
your
wife
doing
a
summary
of
your
day

and
then
discussing
in
detail
how
you
feel
your
relationship
is
going.
Do
this

five
hundred
times
a
day,
add
water,
and
then
stir.

And
the
thing
is,
the
Greg
I
married
would
never
do
all
of
those
things.

He
would
never
bother
replacing
the
empty
toilet
roll
with
the
new
one;
he

would
never
wash
all
the
food
off
his
plate
before
putting
it
in
the
dish-

washer.
Everything
has
changed.
Even
the
small
daily
routines
that
make
life

so
comfortable
have
changed.

If
I
could
find
the
strength
in
me
to
leave
him
I
would,
but
I’m
stuck
in

this
noncommittal
limbo.
I
just
want
to
make
the
right
decision
right
now.
I

don’t
want
to
be
a
bitter
old
woman
in
forty
years
time,
still
making
snide

comments
to
Greg
about
what
he’s
done.
In
order
to
make
this
marriage

work
I
need
to
know
in
advance
that
I
can
if
not
forget,
then
at
least
forgive.