Love, Rosie (100 page)

Oh
dear
is
right
so
I
suggested
that
myself
and
Ursula
attend
rela-

tionship
counseling
in
order
to
have
good
communication
skills
dur-

ing
my
marriage
counseling.

Ruby:

Rosie:

Right
.
.
.
so
what
did
Greg
say
to
that
suggestion?

Well
I
couldn’t
quite
hear
what
he
said
over
the
slamming
of
the
car

door.
It
can’t
have
been
very
positive
though,
his
nose
was
flared
and

I
think
he
was
snarling
at
me.
I’m
also
thinking
of
purchasing
a

larger
bed
so
that
there’s
room
for
Ursula.
She
may
as
well
know

absolutely
everything
about
us.
Maybe
she
could
count
how
many

times
I
fart
during
the
night
or
something
.
.
.

Ruby:

Rosie:

Is
it
really
that
bad?

I
just
can’t
see
how
this
is
helping
anything
.
She
only
makes
us
fight

more
by
forcing
us
to
discuss
all
the
little
things
that
bother
us

about
each
other.
If
we
ever
start
to
get
along
with
each
other,
I
can

almost
see
Ursula
getting
worried
about
her
next
month’s
rent.
Last

week
we
argued
for
an
hour
about
how
much
I
hate
it
when
Greg

leaves
a
milk
mustache
on
his
face
purposely
just
to
make
me
laugh,

then
when
I
don’t
laugh
he
follows
me
around
the
house
tapping
me

on
the
shoulder
with
it
still
on,
until
I
do.
It’s
not
funny!
It’s
silly!

Yesterday
we
fought
about
how
it
annoys
me
when
his
mouth
starts

to
twitch
when
I
get
something
wrong.
If
I
said
the
sky
was
yellow,

his
top
lip
would
start
to
do
this
odd
sort
of
Elvis
twitch.
It
bugs
the

hell
out
of
me
that
he
can’t
just
let
it
go
.
He
needs
to
let
me
know
in

some
form
or
another
that
I’ve
gotten
a
piece
of
“vital”
information

wrong.
Oh
no
,
the
grass
is
green
not
pink!
Oops-a-daisies,
what
a

difference
that
statement
makes
to
our
life!

Next
week
I
think
I’ll
bring
up
the
fact
that
he
always
wears
the

silly
novelty
socks
his
dear
mother
buys
him.
He
thinks
they’re

love,
rosie

157

hilarious.
Sometimes
he
just
calls
her
up
to
tell
her
he’s
wearing

them.
Yellow
socks
with
bloody
pink
polka
dots
and
blue
ones
with

red
stripes.
I’m
sure
his
fellow
colleagues
at
the
bank
think
they’re

absolutely
hilarious.
The
wonderfully
cool
and
hip
bank
manager

that
wears
pink
socks,
ooh
let’s
all
get
a
mortgage
from
him!
Plus

when
he
sits
down,
his
trousers
lift
and
you
can
see
them
from
a