Love, Rosie (228 page)

have
to
have
known
this
was
coming.
You
did
have
a
total
of
let’s

see,
16
years
preparation,
this
shouldn’t
come
as
a
shock
to
you.

Rosie:

Ruby
you
unsentimental
witch,
do
you
not
feel
anything?
Are
you

numb
to
all
emotions?
How
did
you
feel
when
your
Gary
turned

16?

Ruby:

I
just
don’t
look
at
things
like
you
do.
I
don’t
think
much
of
ages,
or

birthdays,
they’re
just
another
day
to
me.
They
don’t
symbolize
any-

thing
but
a
bunch
of
definitions
and
generalizations
people
have
cre-

ated
to
make
conversation,
debates,
and
media
discussions.

Katie
is
not
going
to
go
off
the
rails
because
suddenly
she
wakes
up

one
morning
and
she’s
16.
People
do
whatever
the
hell
they
want
to

do
at
any
age
they
fancy.
Last
month
you
were
36.
That
means

you’re
4
years
from
40.
Do
you
think
that
the
day
you
reach
40
you

will
be
any
different
than
you
were
at
39
or
41
for
that
matter?
Peo-

ple
create
little
ideas
about
ages
so
they
can
write
silly
self-help

books,
stick
stupid
comments
in
birthday
cards,
create
names
for

Internet
chat
rooms,
and
look
for
excuses
for
crises
that
are
happen-

ing
in
their
life.

For
example
the
man’s
so
called
“midlife
crisis”
is
just
a
bunch
of

hype.
Age
is
not
the
problem;
it’s
the
male
brain
that’s
the
problem.

Men
have
been
cheating
since
they
were
apes
(insert
your
own
joke

there),
since
cavemen
times
(and
again
there)
all
the
way
up
to
now,

the
age
of
what
is
supposed
to
be
the
civilized
man.
That’s
the
way

they
were
made.
Age
is
not
the
issue.

Your
baby
will
remain
your
baby
past
the
point
when
she
has
her

own
little
baby.
Don’t
worry
about
that.

Rosie:

I
don’t
want
my
baby
to
have
a
baby
until
she’s
grown
up,
married,

and
rich.
I
mean,
when
I
think
of
the
things
I
did
on
my
16th
birth-

day
.
.
.
actually
I
can’t
remember
what
I
did.

Ruby:

Why
not?

340

Rosie:

Ruby:

Rosie:

Ruby:

Rosie:

Because
I
was
being
incredibly
juvenile
and
stupid.

What
did
you
do?

Cecelia
Ahern

Me
and
Alex
forged
our
mums’
signatures
and
wrote
notes
to
school

saying
we
would
both
be
absent
for
the
day.

Coincidentally.

Exactly.
We
went
to
some
old
man’s
pub
in
town
where
ID
wasn’t
a

necessity
and
we
drank
all
day.
Unfortunately
it
was
ruined
by
the

fact
that
I
fell
and
hit
my
head,
had
to
be
raced
to
hospital
in
an