Authors: Jo Iles
‘Don’t be silly,’ Daniel said, leading the way down the steep path to the bank. Seeing that Harry was struggling with the slope, Daniel scooped him easily under one arm and made short work of it. Daniel was starting to feel like a real dad—a feeling he’d never before contemplated or had any real comprehension of.
Holly sat down on the grass and began rooting through her colossal bag, no doubt in search of sustenance. ‘Here’s the bread,’ she said, handing Harry a plastic bag brim full with chopped-up crusts.
‘Thanks Mum,’ Harry replied, having forgotten his apparent state of starvation. He grabbed the bread and proceeded to throw one small piece at a time, concentrating with all his might. Holly then pulled out three chocolate bars, a bottle of water, and a juice box from her magical bag.
‘You’re like bloody Mary Poppins,’ Daniel said, laughing as he sat down next to her.
‘I’m just a mum,’ Holly replied, smiling at him.
‘Oh, I meant to ask: have you heard from my solicitor yet? Regarding the settlement you asked for?’ Daniel leaned back on his hands.
‘Yes, there was a file on my doormat when I got home yesterday,’ Holly answered.
‘And?’
‘And what?’ Holly said, with a little smile.
‘And… what do you think?’ Daniel asked, playing along with her facetiousness.
‘I’m very pleased. It’s more than I ever thought,’ she answered genuinely. ‘How did you ever get Miranda to agree to it?’
‘She was fine with it. She’s not as bad as you think, you know.’
‘Hmm… I’ll take your word for it, if that’s okay with you,’ she said, stretching and lying back on the grass. Daniel asked himself if that was an invitation to join her. With a couple of beers in him and the glow of the afternoon sun dancing off the water, there was nothing he would have liked more than having a roll around in the grass with Holly. Now she was in a better mood, she looked lovely. The breeze gently ruffled her hair about.
‘Oh, and I got the divorce papers, too,’ she said, not moving or looking over to him. Daniel tried to hear some clue as to her feelings in her voice, but couldn’t. She sounded neutral. Not cold, exactly. Just detached.
‘And?’ Daniel asked, as he gave up his inner quandary and lay down beside her, propped up by his elbows. He was extremely careful not to touch her. He knew that if he did touch her, it would be his undoing.
‘And what?’ Holly asked, repeating their earlier banter, smiling up at the sky.
‘And… what do you think?’ Daniel asked, watching her facial expressions closely.
‘I think it’s sad. It’s all so sad,’ she said, lifting her sunglasses and looking at him. ‘But there you go,’ she added, sounding resigned, replacing her sunglasses.
Daniel unpropped himself from his elbows and lay flat on his back, next to his wife. He slowly felt across the grass for her hand. They lay there, peaceful and contemplative, holding hands and looking up at the sky, until little footsteps came plodding in their direction and a little voice said: ‘Mum, I’m starving.’
‘Alright, Harry,’ Holly half-said, half-sighed as she slowly sat up. ‘Let’s go home.’
What the hell am I doing?
The question kept echoing around Daniel Madison’s mind. He loved Miranda. He was
engaged
to Miranda. So why in the world was he finding any old excuse to spend time with Holly? And Harry, of course. Maybe that was it. He was keen to spend as much time as possible with his recently discovered son. But, if Daniel was being completely honest with himself, it wasn’t just Harry. Yes, he was growing increasingly fond of the little boy, the more time he spent with him. He was a great kid, and Daniel was really enjoying getting to know him. But it was more than that. It was Holly, too. Or at least the combination of Harry and Holly together. They made a fantastic team. A team that Daniel felt like he wanted to be picked for.
He was humming. Actually
humming
as he pulled up into his driveway. He’d had a totally unexpected Saturday, but one of the best he’d had in a long, long time.
Despite the enjoyment of the day, Daniel felt utterly confused. One minute he felt Holly was giving him the come-on—turning up at his office in her sexy black outfit—and the next she came across as standoffish, like she had on occasion today. There were moments today where he’d felt her hesitate and deliberately plot a safe course that wouldn’t get either of them into trouble. And then there was this Jake guy. Was it serious? But why did he care?
That
was perhaps the more pertinent question.
Clearly he wasn’t as happy and satisfied with Miranda as he made himself out to be, if all he was constantly thinking about was Holly’s love life. It was difficult to accept, and made more complicated by the fact that he and Miranda were partners in business as well as in life.
Daniel was in such a self-obsessed daze that he didn’t even notice Miranda’s car parked in the driveway before he entered the house and headed straight through to the kitchen.
‘Caught you,’ Miranda said as Daniel retrieved a beer from the fridge. Daniel automatically jumped, not expecting her to be there.
‘What are you doing here?’ he asked.
‘What kind of a welcome is that?’ she asked, smiling as she wiggled herself into his embrace and kissed him fully on the mouth.
‘I thought you were with your family all weekend?’ Daniel asked, feeling disappointed that he would have to share his evening. He had actually been looking forward to being alone with a beer and his football.
‘I couldn’t stand to be away from you, so I thought I’d leave early and surprise you. What have you been up to this morning?’ she asked, weaving her way around him. She took a drink for herself from the fridge.
‘Not much, just popped to lunch with one of the lads,’ Daniel said, taking a swig of his beer so as to avoid him from delivering any giveaway facial expressions.
‘That’s nice,’ she said. She took a sip of her own drink and looked at him.
‘What?’ Daniel asked, feeling self-conscious under her gaze.
‘You look all happy and sunshine-y,’ she replied, narrowing her eyes ever so slightly in that way she always did when she was mildly suspicious.
‘We sat in the beer garden,’ Daniel replied, not happy that she’d noticed. He’d obviously been wearing his inner emotions outwardly.
‘Well, you look delicious,’ she said, smiling seductively at him as she closed the distance between them and placed their drinks on the countertop. She then pulled him by the collar closer to her and began undoing his shirt buttons, looking up at him, clearly with one thing, and one thing alone, on her mind.
‘Why, thank you, Miss Delamonte. You don’t look so bad yourself,’ he replied, noticing her flimsy dress for the first time. She was undressing him, so it was only fair he did the same to her. He slipped a finger between her skin and the straps on both shoulders and nudged them lower, revealing more and more of her evenly tanned skin. There was only one place this was going to end up, and that was the bedroom. Daniel said a silent farewell to his evening of beer and football.
‘I had a nice day. Thank you,’ Holly said softly as she gently brushed a blade of grass from his shoulder.
‘Me too,’ he said, beaming at her, mirroring her actions and teasing out his own piece of grass from her windswept hair. It felt incredibly intimate. It wasn’t the passionate kiss that he and his body were longing for, but it felt special.
And then he woke up. He woke from the most vivid dream he’d had yet about Holly. He looked across in the dim light of his bedroom and saw Miranda lying there. The bedclothes, down to her waist, revealed her toned, tanned, and very naked back. She was beautiful. She really was. He’d liked having sex with her in the kitchen, he thought—with only a very fleeting nanosecond of a follow-up thought to remind Stephanie to give the worktops an extra good clean. It had been fun. Miranda and Daniel
worked
. They just did. They were both inherently selfish people who had a mutual understanding between them to accept the selfishness of the other one. They’d found each other at the right moment in their lives, after the breakdown of their prior relationships. And the sex was good. When they had time for it.
So why did he feel so guilty? And not for dream-cheating on Miranda by imagining Holly—but for shagging Miranda in the kitchen where Holly had eaten? Daniel’s animal instincts had taken over at the time, but now, upon reflection, it just didn’t sit right with him that, after having spent pretty much the whole day with Holly, he’d done with Miranda exactly what he’d wanted to do with Holly.
* * *
The next week only proved to Daniel what an emotional mess he was. Whenever Miranda was nearby, he felt wholeheartedly in love with his fiancée. He liked her personality: she could actually be quite funny, a trait that most people didn’t give her credit enough for. He also greatly admired her for her business acumen. She was a great saleswoman: a huge reason the business had done so well was down to her and the decisions she’d made. But when Miranda wasn’t around, Daniel spent the week racing to his phone every time it buzzed, or continually refreshing his emails. Holly had been in touch sporadically throughout the week, sending him updates of her plans for the house redesign and asking for his opinion on various materials and layout options. And Daniel found himself longing for, and looking forward to, any contact she initiated.
The content was all professional. There was absolutely nothing untoward, or anything that resembled flirtation. It was just contact. Regular contact and the exchanging of information, with the occasional witty one-liner from Holly, usually about what Harry had been up to. It was real life. Sometimes mundane, but still interesting, as far as Daniel was concerned. And something he was glad to be included in.
Daniel clicked on his inbox to refresh it once again, just in case it hadn’t done it automatically. It was approaching lunchtime, and as he waited for the screen in front of him to reload, his mind wandered to Holly’s busy design office. He wondered if she ever had time for lunch, or if she just grabbed whatever she could when she could. He concluded that it was probably the latter.
‘Bingo,’ he said silently to himself as a smile escaped his lips. Holly had emailed.
Hi Daniel,
I think those timescales as previously discussed will work with the contractors, so we’re good to go on that front. I’d like to send one of my colleagues round this week to measure up more accurately if that’s possible. Let me know when would be a convenient time for Stephanie.
Best,
Holly
PS. Harry told me to say hello if I spoke to you, so, hello. He says he has a secret to tell you the next time he sees you. Apparently it’s for boys only!
PPS. I’ve signed your divorce papers.
Daniel leaned back in his chair, staring at the screen. He reread and reread the final sentence until his eyes went blurry and he had to look away. Holly had signed the divorce papers. And she’d seen fit to tell him in the bloody post-postscript of a work email. This was monumental, life-changing news, and Holly had made it impersonal—an afterthought. Daniel noticed that he was shaking. Whether it was from the fact that she’d signed them, or the way that she’d informed him, he couldn’t tell for sure.
Right on cue, Miranda breezed into his office carrying a stack of paperwork. She really was all efficiency and grace as she crossed the room to the meeting table and began sifting through various files, pulling the papers out that needed actioning. She was undoubtedly very good at her job, but maybe not the most perceptive fiancée in the world. Daniel had remained glued to his seat at his desk for a full-on minute before Miranda actually looked over at him.
‘Is something the matter?’ she asked, directing her gaze at him quickly before returning to the document she was scanning. Daniel knew he had to choose his words carefully now. The wrong reaction, and he could be in for a world of trouble. He needed to strike the right balance.
‘Nothing’s the matter. But I do have some news which concerns you,’ he said carefully. That got Miranda’s attention, as he knew it would.
‘What is it?’ she asked. She remained calm on the outside, but Daniel knew from her slightly strained voice and wider eyes that she was anxious to know what he was about to say.
‘It’s about Holly,’ Daniel said seriously, stringing it out longer than necessary. Miranda never seemed to get remotely flustered, and he thought it might be fun to see how far she could be pushed.
‘Yes?’ Miranda said expectedly, a curious look in her eye.
‘Well… I’ve received an email.’
‘Oh, for God’s sake, just spit it out,’ Miranda snapped, losing her patience. ‘What did Holly say? Or write?’
‘She’s signed the divorce papers,’ Daniel said slowly. It sounded strange to his ears, but by saying it, he hoped it would start to sink in. Miranda leapt up from her seat, let out a delighted scream, danced over to where Daniel was sitting, and wrapped her arms around his neck. Daniel smiled dutifully, but he knew his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
‘Are you pleased?’ he asked Miranda, who was now peppering his neck with butterfly kisses.
‘Of course I am,’ she replied as she manoeuvred herself so she was sitting on his lap. ‘We can move on with the rest of our lives now. Just you and me. Oh, and Harry of course.’
‘I suppose we can start properly planning the wedding now,’ Daniel said as he nuzzled her neck and breathed in her expensive perfume.
‘I’d love that,’ Miranda said earnestly. ‘And I’ve been thinking: we should have an engagement party.’
‘What? Another one?’ Daniel asked, as he stopped nuzzling her to look at her properly.
‘The last one was your
birthday
party. It wasn’t our
engagement
party. Let’s have a real party focusing on you and me, and celebrate our impending nuptials properly. We could have it in a month’s time. That way, it gives us plenty of time to organise things and let the paperwork go through.’
‘I guess we could,’ Daniel replied slowly. ‘Let’s keep it small though. Nothing too showy.’