Love Notes ((Book Two of the Heartbeat Series)) (6 page)

In the bar, happy hour was in full swing and it was packed. I hadn’t come into the city since meeting Thomas for lunch a while ago. I am more a homebody as of late with writing and missing Rand. As we pushed through, Jillian was quick to score two of the last open bar stools. I sat down and it was only seconds, actually seconds, when a very handsome guy approached me. I was waiting to see what type of line he would land on me.

“Hey, I’m Connor can I get you a drink?” In the background the guys yelled back his name is Cabe but I didn’t ask why.

He immediately opened up to me about not wanting to come to the bar, that it wasn’t his scene but being the new guy on the job with the firm he finally agreed to come for a short time. Little did he know this too was not my type setting, I was more comfortable in pajamas at home.

“Well Connor thank you for the drink offer but my friend Jillian was already on that task.” He seemed pleasant enough, not your typical guy out to hit on the girl with lame lines. He was actually polite in his tone and just wanting to make simple conversation.

“So what’s your name?” I replied to him my name is Madison and with that another gentleman spun around that was next to him and said, “My Madison?” It was none other than Thomas, my ex-husband.

“Well small world. I didn’t expect to see you here,” I smiled and said.

Connor spoke out, “Thomas you know this lovely girl?”

Thomas said, “Yes very, very well, we were married for ten years, and well, I believe that we’re still married.” I was quick to correct him and I told Connor that, yes, we were married once but that was so over and now I was in a relationship with another.

Thomas jumped on my words, “Maddy, nothing is ever truly over between us, but Connor now she is with that band guy Rand, and you know who I am speaking of the one playing with Killjoy.” Connor nodded his head and so did a few other guy friends with them. Most of them remarked that Killjoy was amazing. I guess I really did need to Google this Killjoy when I had a moment.

I had enough of Thomas and really didn’t want to hear his undertones in conversation. I usually just let them ride and mentally hoped that he would stop. I felt if I gave him a true spoken response he would just keep it going. I backed away from the guys and gave them a smile and caught up to where Jillian was. We finally had gotten to the girl talk. She shared with me her worries for Raeford and his playing with wondering if he was going to be replaced in the future with Killjoy. I tried to assure her that Rand and even Maxwell told me that it was only temporary. There was another underlying doubt in her eyes and I am not sure what it was but when I questioned her she said that here in the bar was definitely not the place to discuss it. As I continued to drink more, the atmosphere was becoming more fun and I relaxed with everyone. I did take out my phone at one point and had Jillian take a photo of me blowing a kiss and I sent it to Rand. I knew he was probably on stage at this moment but he would get it later.

As Thomas stayed near to us in the bar he really did not interject into our girl conversations. He was clearly joining in conversations with his group of guy friends. As another round of Mojitos came our way, the guys tipped their beers to us indicating that the drinks were from them. I thanked them with a smile. I looked up from sipping my minty rum drink and Thomas was right in front of me. He placed his hand on my exposed thigh and leaned in to me. I had a very questionable look upon my face, as he came in closer he said, “I thought you may want to see this.” I wasn’t sure what his next move was until he showed me a video feed on his smart phone of the concert in Chicago. It was Rand playing his heart out. I beamed looking at it and gave Thomas my sincere happy thankful eyes for showing it to me. I watched it for a long time as they played a tune I was very familiar with. I glanced across the screen and got to view each band member. Ron had on his sunglasses, and Kent looked like he was still working out and wore a sleeveless shirt showing off his awesome biceps. In the back I could see Raeford beating on the drums and then every once in a while Isaac stood front and center but he seemed to block out the camera angle for moments. I felt like I was at their show. This is what these guys and my guy did for a living and they performed so well. I missed Rand so badly and also missed all the guys. I knew I should hand the phone back to Thomas as I was surely eating up his battery but I remained completely mesmerized with the screen.

Then, as the band transitioned into the next song on their playlist, I froze. The camera panned back and I saw the most stunning blonde, sexy girl come across to Rand and wrap her leg around his. As Rand played she pulled him to the stage floor below and she cat crawled around him and played with his hair, and then took her hands up to undo his shirt. She swung her long blonde hair back over her shoulder, sung out the tune with her gem coated microphone, the embellishments read “Killjoy.” She then licked his neck and then crawled up behind him and reached around and cupped his exposed chest and tugged at his nipples. I dropped the cell phone and choked on the last sip of my drink that was still in my mouth. As Thomas bent down to get his phone, I thought I saw a brief smirk on his lips.

“Jillian, I really need to get home, now.” I was clearly upset and needed to run. She was in deep conversation with some of the guys and told me she would be a moment. When I pressed her to leave again, I saw that she held her finger up for me to wait another minute. I was in no condition to drive home. I hadn’t seen Jillian drinking at all during the night, just talking a lot with a drink near her. Thomas was looking at his phone to make certain I hadn’t broken it and then told me he was sorry that I saw that, he didn’t mean to upset me he just wanted me to see Rand, my fiancé. I wasn’t sure if his intent in showing me the video was malicious, but I needed to get out of this bar to breathe and get home.

Thomas told me that he and Connor were heading out. Connor lived out in the suburbs. I was hesitant but needed a ride and Thomas said he would get me home. Since Jillian didn’t have to head out of the city too just to take me back I decided to accept the ride. I trusted Thomas for so many years, as he did always make sure I got home safely. I cleared it with Jillian who was fine since her living in the city would only be a trip of a few blocks. Thomas really didn’t seem to mind taking me and Connor back to the suburbs. He actually talked business with Connor for most of the drive. I figured Thomas was hoping I wouldn’t send him back into the city, to his home alone. Connor finished up work talk and then focused his conversation toward me. “So Madison I understand from Thomas that I only live two miles from you. I am in the next townhouse community from yours, and Thomas boasts that you make the best coffee,” he said kindly. I didn’t participate in their conversation as my head was spinning with thoughts of Rand and Killjoy.

I was hearing bits and pieces of his speaking to me. He seemed nice and I continued to nod and smile. I did gather that Connor accepted a new employment position in Philly and worked with Thomas now in the city. Still smiling at his spoken words, I noticed that he was yummy handsome and kept staring. He told me he had heard the Rolling Isaac’s play before and he enjoyed their music. I definitely heard that. He said he also heard that I was a writer and hoped to read some of my work one day. I wasn’t sure what Thomas told him about me but I knew he did tell him some things. As we dropped him off, he said goodnight and hoped we would meet again. He leaned over toward me and gave me a friendly hug goodbye and said, “Goodnight Madison, see you soon, we’re practically neighbors.” He smelled really good, I remember sort of a fresh outdoors scent. I actually took in another breath of him before I could speak back.

“Well Connor I used to live near you in my townhouse, but I have my mother and uncle living there now. I have moved in with Rand.” I corrected him, but in my head, my brain was saying, yes, he was definitely yummy. I held onto him for a few seconds longer then released myself from his pull.

It was a very silent long ride from there with just Thomas and I back to Rand’s house, actually Rand and my house now. I didn’t want to speak to Thomas of all people about Killjoy and her appearance that I viewed. And I definitely did not want to tell Thomas that it was that moment in the bar that I found out Killjoy was a girl, a beautiful stunning girl…for some reason I had thought all this time that Killjoy was a rocking guy that the band enjoyed playing with not this gorgeous girl that just licked Rand’s neck, chest and touched his nipples. I shuttered with a chill from that thought. Rand appeared to like her every movement, her touching her pulling him onto her. He went right into her clutching claws, actually beautifully long stroking fingers.

I was buzzing from the drinks, I had not eaten a thing and Thomas reached over and placed his hand on my thigh as we turned down the road I lived on. He tenderly rubbed his hand on my thigh and commented how he loved to see my legs and what an attractive pair of legs I have. He told me that he watched as so many men in the bar this evening looked me over, but that he knew I was his. I didn’t even bother to voice out and correct him. Thomas pulled in front of the barn and parked. His hand still rested on my leg. Was I so naïve to think that Rand was faithful on the road. It certainly looked like there was something between him and Killjoy and that was just the first time I had seen them together. I am certain the past month they shared many captive moments.

Thomas slid his finger up to the edge of my short skirt and clung to the edge. He softly spoke and leaned to me, “So beautiful. Madison, you are so beautiful.” I wanted to hear more, I needed to hear more. I just watched a beautiful young rock girl take complete control over my boyfriend, my fiancé. I needed to feel worth something, I needed to feel again and forget what burned in my eyes. I let Thomas continue to touch me, to slide his fingers along my skirt. As Thomas continued, my thoughts turned to Rand touching me and sliding his hands all over my naked body, I missed him so much. I groaned and as my skirt lifted higher I released several soft moans. With my head lying in the cushioned head rest and the coolness of the leather surrounding me, Thomas lowered my seat and as it went back my body became so comfortable. My core became more accessible with only a very thin fabric covering me.

In my mind, I felt Rand touching me, caressing my thigh, slowly sweeping his fingertips across my inner thigh and traveling inward. I felt him lift his finger across my panties and I felt his one finger slip underneath and trace the folds of my skin and it sent a quiver through me and a want and need for more. As I pulled my skirt higher to give Rand more access, I felt my panties lowering slowly. I felt now his kisses coming into my thighs. I had my hands at my side clenching my fingers tightly into my palms and his mouth began to lead his tongue on a path along my inner thigh, his touch so familiar so comfortable. I heard him catch his breath and he was coming in so close. I wanted him so much, it would only take him moments in this position to take me over the edge. It had been a month now without him. I pulled my hands from my sides, the blood flowing through my fingers and I went to take his hair and fist it through my fingers. Once I did I realized that there were no long strands of hair to pull through. I suddenly opened my eyes to see Thomas going down on me. I pulled his head up and looked at him so confused, “What the hell are you doing?’

Thomas said, “I didn’t see you stop me, I thought this was what you wanted.”

“Thomas I am sorry if you thought that, I’m drunk, confused and caught up in missing Rand. I am so upset about what was on your phone. Now that you got me home safely, I think you need to go.” He paused and stilled and his hand still remained up my skirt. “NOW!” I yelled. I got out of his car and felt awful for drinking too much, for escaping into a reverie for Rand having sex with me and for using Thomas in this situation. “I will talk to you later, Thomas, not now. Thank you for getting me home.”

When my head hit the pillow I wanted Rand to finish off what he started in my mind in the car. I thought of him and I looked at my phone and I had several messages from him.

I hope you have a nice evening out. I hope you are missing me.

I am heading out with the band after the show, I’ll call you tomorrow.

Sleep well. I love you.

I thought in my head, I love you too Rand but your going out with the band is not what I need to hear as Killjoy will probably be accompanying you as well. I returned him a text.

I’m home and I got to watch part of your concert tonight via a smart phone. You looked awesome but I have to tell you I was also very shocked and surprised with your latest performance.

I shut my phone off as I didn’t want to hear his response now especially if he was still out with them or her. And I slept letting my alcohol consumption and dreamland take me to an erotic dream of Rand and I.
As he played to me, I climbed up onto the edge of the stage; I crawled over to him and watched as the bulge grew in his tight jeans. He dropped the guitar and the music stopped but the heat began as he grabbed me and threw me to the stage floor and climbed over me. Rand began to lick at my throat and then traveled to my nipples. Through my tight tank top he located the precise tips of them and placed his lips on them even despite the cloth between. The bright lights of the stage made me think that we were the only two there illuminating our sexy scene, until a voice sounded. It was Killjoy and she asked if Rand wanted to get back to playing with her, playing music with her… I tensed my body on the cold stage floor and he started to rise up off of me and shake his hair back. He walked away and followed her. He moved tight behind her in her steps and didn’t look back, just left me there.

When morning came, I still laid in bed thinking of our steamy passionate dream that left me wet, and then I thought of my dream and him walking away with Killjoy. I still clearly see the face of Killjoy on stage with him and any happy thought of him at that moment was shattered. I rose out of bed and my house phone was ringing. I picked it up to be greeted by Jillian, she wanted to make certain I got in okay and she had tried my cell phone twice. I told her Thomas got me home safely but that I had way too much to drink. She said she felt sorry too that she let me drink a lot and we agreed to meet at the park later in the day and take a nice long walk. She said she really needed to talk to me. I thought for sure that her conversation was going to be to brace me for the news of Killjoy because I don’t think she knew yet that I had already been exposed to her sexy loveliness and moves. I wasn’t sure if I would tell Jillian what happened in the car last night. I normally told Jillian everything, but I wasn’t ready to talk with her about the car scene with Thomas just yet. I wasn’t sure I wanted anyone to ever know. I did stop it before it got anywhere that was damaging, but it still felt awkward that I allowed him to touch me. I thought it was Rand in my head; I wanted to believe it was Rand. When Thomas did pull back his hand from under my skirt I saw the rise in his pants and knew he was going to have a very frustrating long ride back to the city.