Love Notes ((Book Two of the Heartbeat Series)) (3 page)

“Everyone,” Rand spoke loudly, “I just want to take a moment for this lovely couple to dance to a track I have been working on. It’s about love, something I recently realized I could have. This is for Grace and Jake as they have wished in their hearts for this day and they believed one day it would happen. So here it is, titled
Cross Your Heart.
”

Sing out the song,

It will take you in

Sing it back,

Over again you begin.

Again, sing it out loud.

For all to hear,

I need to feel the beat

Of your heart near.

This heart of mine

Beats only for you.

My heart is yours,

given to only few.

So
cross your heart

and hold your breath with me.

Follow me, and hold, hold on

hold on, hold on

Believe

and you will see.

Again, sing it out loud.

for all to hear,

I need to feel the beat

of your heart near.

So
cross your heart

and hold your breath with me.

Follow me, follow me

and hold,

hold on

Please believe

and you will see.

Sing out the song,

It will take you in

Sing it back,

and again you begin.

So
cross your heart

and hold your breath with me.

Follow me, follow me

and hold,

hold on

Please believe

and you will see.

Hold on,

Hold on

and believe.

Just before Rand started the song he sought me out in the reception area. He focused his deep blues on me and between the words he sang and the emotion that poured through him; I knew he wrote that for me in mind but gifted it to my mother today. I gestured a touch to my heart and I said I love you with the silent motion of my lips. Rand hesitated a moment, let out a deep sigh in his microphone and then pulled it together and finished the piece wonderfully.

My mother and uncle swept across the dance floor with love in their eyes. I turned and lifted the wine that was sitting there during his performance and sipped it down to coat the large lump in my throat. Emotion is a powerful thing. It can make the largest lump in your throat making it hard for you to pull it together and swallow. I had become overwhelmed lately by this newness of my world rocking and that is what had been happening to me ever since Rand proposed to me. I was full of emotion that I never thought I would have in my entire lifetime coming to me like opened floodgates.

I hadn’t noticed the music paused, but when I looked at the stage, the band was there without Rand. He was next to me and had his hand extended, “Love, dance with me, my wife to be.” I could not refuse as my heart leaped forward in motion before I even moved my feet. The band began to play the moment I fell into his arms and I didn’t leave his embrace the rest of the night or even until the next morning. What a perfect memorable day it had been.

Chapter Two – Uncertainty

T
here is never a day or moment that doubt or uncertainty doesn’t play into all our minds. With the wedding of my mother and uncle behind us, which was done and done very well, they had taken a honeymoon in the Caribbean to St. Martin. We were going to head over to catch up with them to see the photos and hear all about it this weekend. I was feeling a little low today because I just read in an email from Maxwell to the band and he copied me that they were leaving next week for a two month series of shows for July and August to take them traveling and playing from Chicago to Las Vegas. I was happy for Rand as this is his occupation, but part of me could silently wish he was an accountant in an office, or a school bus driver that didn’t take him too far away. I guess I still had deep-seated doubt in my belly that I was not all that he would need forever. I knew he would be contacting me via phone and text as he always was good at this even before we became engaged. Something though, a small nagging feeling pricked at me like a devil poking me in one shoulder. I shrugged it off and picked up my phone and texted my love.

Hey Babe, I just wanted to send you a kiss if in words alone. I know you have a heavy practice schedule this entire week. I plan to catch up with Thomas to go over all my father’s details. You don’t have to worry again about him and I…you have my heart in your possession. I love you.

It took not even seconds, for his reply.

I want to explore that kiss and not in words but actions, see you later, hold onto that thought. I love you. Love, think of me when you meet up with Thomas. Remember you are all mine.

With a smile on my face, I then dialed Thomas knowing all too well he would pick up the phone on the first ring. He was very predictable. “Hello Thomas,” I spoke, and yes, it was only half through the very first ring and he picked up. “I have been meaning to catch up with you to go over my father’s home sale and all his requested personal will items. Can you meet me for lunch?”

Thomas cleared his throat and said, “I always have time for you my Madison, and I can clear my day for you today if that works?”

I let his comment of, “my Madison” escape me as I was no longer his Madison. I belonged to Rand, but I replied, “Yes, today actually works fine.”

We chatted briefly catching up as over the past months we had kept in touch from time to time. Thomas had heard that Rand proposed to me and that I said yes. He never asked when or if we had set a date to marry and he never asked about Rand. When Thomas spoke to me it was just like it was still only the two of us. My father left a will that specified particular wishes in terms of his belongings and his property, but since his passing I’d left it all unattended to. Thomas was quite the experienced financial businessman, and he pushed me to get moving with them. So when Thomas kept offering to help me in this area, I said he could. I was preoccupied with the moving of my mother and uncle to Pennsylvania and into my townhome, and then busy with my move to Rand’s home and then the wedding planning for my mother’s special day. I had hardly had any extra time for anything else.

Since Thomas worked in the city, it would be easier for me to drive into town to meet him. I had hung up the phone after we decided to meet at a restaurant on the water’s edge that was a tall ship renovated into a lovely waterside restaurant. Being a nice warm summer day this would be a very nice place to catch up and go over all the details of what Thomas had been working on for me. I dressed simple in a tank dress with sandals and I wrapped a belt around the waist. I grabbed a short cardigan in case we had to sit indoors and the air conditioning would be too cool. I didn’t need to impress my former husband, but if it was Rand I was meeting I would have added some more makeup, jewelry and heels. Yes, Rand agreed after my mother’s wedding day that he enjoyed seeing me all dressed up. More than that, he loved the high heels and I definitely would not have toted a cardigan as I would have sought out his arms to warm me if I chilled.

When I arrived at the restaurant, of course, Thomas was already there and waving toward me. Perhaps he thought I would not have seen him. Thomas had already requested a perfect table on the deck facing the water with a large banana hanging umbrella covering us above. He approached me as I walked up to him and he swept in to my face for a kiss, I turned and he caught just the edge of my jaw bone. I smiled as if sorry but I knew I was not. He then pulled me in for a hug questioning me as to how long had it been since we had seen one another. Again I smiled in apology but I wasn’t unhappy that it was a long time.

Our waitress approached us and we ordered a round of drinks, for me a glass of wine would have been fine, and Thomas knowing what I liked from when we were married was about to make a selection for me, but then I noticed their summer Sangria selection and switched my decision to one of them. He stopped in his speech to order for me and then just asked the waitress to bring him a craft beer on tap and he added what we selected for our lunch choices. For me, it was a barbeque glazed salmon over a bed of arugula with mandarin oranges and a sweet Asian salsa, for Thomas, a Prime Burger platter. Our conversation began to flow freely and Thomas handed over a large manila envelope of papers that he had for me to sign and also to take with me after our meeting. He had really stepped up and helped me with a real estate agent in the city that he knew very well and my father’s house sold, and in the bad home market, he got me a great price. He also helped with all the monies that my father had stated in his will. So Thomas had set me up with some investments and a sizeable check as well.

Since I really didn’t have a steady income, being a writer the pay comes here and there. Even though I got paid for all the items I had written, and when I would speak at seminars, I still was appreciative that I now had large, safe investments for the future and also money to deposit and perhaps spend on a few items I had planned to do. One was to take Rand on a mini vacation when he had some down time, just him and I. I felt like he was always taking care of me. I moved in with him and well, he provided everything. The home, the warmth, the comfort. I wanted to do a B & B at the beach or something so that he and I could focus on one another, uninterrupted. I really wanted to focus on just being with him even if I was just seated by his side although I wouldn’t mind his stunning body and him alone. Here I am seated across from Thomas and thinking of wet thoughts of Rand and I.

“Madison, so I don’t see a ring, is everything okay between you and you know who?

It took me a moment to clear my thoughts from my head, “What did you ask?” Thomas repeated himself. I answered, “We are good, very good. Just haven’t gotten to get the ring yet, we’ve been busy.”

Thomas took my left hand, rubbing his fingers over my knuckles and then swirling his finger around my bare left hand ring finger, and said “If I asked for your hand in marriage I would surely have a ring on it as I had done in the past.” He continued, “Your not having a ring may lead people to believe that you’re not in a serious relationship.”

I peered at him and in my thoughts, I wished Thomas would stop pressing issues about Rand and get over it. I knew I didn’t need to tell him that Rand and I were truly committed and would be getting to the ring in the future because this was actually none of his business anymore. In fact Rand and I were just discussing the ring and setting a date at my mother’s wedding. I knew what we meant to one another.

As I pulled my hand back it was great timing, the waitress had brought our lunch platters. I didn’t look up, I just began to take hold of my fork and eat. Before the waitress left our table, Thomas spoke to her ordering us a second round of drinks. The warmth of the day enveloped us as we were seated on the expanding deck overlooking the water. It was not beautiful blue water but the reflection of the sun danced on the ripples as the small boats passed along the river’s path. I was again lost in thought staring at the movement in the water. I was thinking that Rand was about to embark for a few months again to travel. He would be traveling away from me not toward me. I wanted to talk to someone about my insecurities about this, but Thomas was not my go to person. I needed to get through today’s lunch and then I would catch up with Jillian when Rand was away as she would relate to my heart sinking as hers would be too, because her and Raeford were getting along real fine lately and she would be missing him too.

Snap, Snap
I heard, and I blinked to see Thomas clicking his fingers together, trying to remind me he was having lunch with me. “Oh, sorry, I drifted there a bit.” He smiled and again put his hand into mine, this time taking his fingers underneath and slowly touching my palm, I slowly pulled my hand away. He then gradually took more initiative and moved his hand away and began to slide his chair closer to mine so he could take in the river view without his back being toward it. He leaned up shutting his eyes and took in the sun’s rays as he also closed in by my side. He laid his head on my shoulder and began to nuzzle into my ear. I shifted my shoulder down dropping it quickly so that his head jolted off of me.