Love Me Again (7 page)

Christina was in love with his enemy.

Varek was leaning nonchalantly against a tree, restively biding his time, when he saw the door open. Straightening, he squinted against the early afternoon sun, then grinned in satisfaction as he watched Christina leave the British apartments. For three days he had impatiently watched for an opportunity to get Christina alone, but she had proved an elusive prey, never venturing out during the day and remaining stubbornly at Basingstoke's side in the evening. It would have been a hell of a lot simpler to have simply walked up to the British consulate and presented himself, but he wanted this next meeting between them to be private. There was just too much that needed to be said, and the last thing he needed was her so-called husband interrupting them.

He still couldn't believe she was married; however, she wouldn't be for long if he had anything to say about it. Soon he would give the man more than enough reasons to divorce Christina, and then he would step forward and hasten the proceedings along with a few well-placed bribes slipped into the right pockets. With any luck, by spring she would be his again.

Pushing himself away from the tree, Varek casually strolled along the Minoritzenplatz at a comfortable distance behind his prey. The morning was unseasonably warm, and the
ringstrasse
was crowded, but he had no trouble keeping pace behind her as she walked briskly ahead. In fact, he thought with a smile tugging his lips, her brisk pace was a bit too energetic for such a lady. Doubtless she had already sighted him, or she feared meeting him somewhere along the way.

As he lengthened his stride, he couldn't help but admire the provocative sway of her hips encased in the sheath of thin muslin. She had matured while living away from him, and he was disconcerted by this further testament of the distance between them. Strangely he had thought that when he saw her again she would have been exactly the same, as if time itself would have stopped until they were reunited. But time hadn't stopped; it had marched ruthlessly on, and somewhere along the way she had found a new life for herself, as if he had never been.

He frowned as again he puzzled over their years apart and just where the hell she had been. How could she have been in England all this time and word had never gotten back to him? It didn't make any sense. He'd established a link with every court in Europe, Russia, and Britain. He had even sent men off to the Americas and the West Indies. It angered him at the senseless waste of time. Someone had done a superb job of hiding her and he was fairly certain it couldn't have been Sergei; he hadn't the power to accomplish such a thing. Most likely it had been her brother-by-marriage, the Duke of Kerkston. And if she were being kept so diligently out of the eyes and ears of society, why was she now here in Vienna at this momentous occasion, where the likelihood of their meeting was unquestionable? Christina was making it obvious enough to him that this meeting wasn't to her liking. So, why was she here?

It was a puzzle he was not comfortable with. Already he had his network of spies delving deeply into the background of the St. Poles. Someone was behind the scenes manipulating them all. His bet was on the duke.

Up ahead, Christina paused at a cross street, waiting with obvious impatience for a clearing in the traffic. Avidly, he studied her profile as she looked to either side of her. God, she was so beautiful, he thought with a flash of hunger. As he studied her vibrancy he suddenly felt old and weary. Life had not been kind to him without her by his side. Each day had been a struggle just to face all the empty hours that filled each of those endless days. Yet, here she was, exquisitely serene and seemingly at peace with her life. He felt a stab of fear in his gut. Could she truly not love him anymore? Was he just fooling himself? For six years he had gone to bed every night with her name on his lips, a prayer for her safety and a plea for her to return to him.

Now, looking at an older Christina, he wasn't so sure anymore that she had ever felt the same loss that had almost crippled him.

His long strides made no sound as he came up behind her, but as he had suspected, she was prepared for him, for she abruptly turned on her heel and confronted him. Her sherr y brown eyes snapped with anger, her posture stiff with indignation. Even bristling like a pestered hedgehog she was a magnificent sight to behold.

Holding her gaze with his own, Varek sketched her a low bow. He didn't even try to take hold of her hand, for it was obvious from the militant look on her flushed face that a scuffle would ensue before she would even allow that simple courtesy. He contented himself with lightly taking hold of her elbow, in order to guide her out of the pedestrians’ path.

“Good afternoon, my love.”

“Don't call me that,” she hissed in a low voice as she glared up at him.

His brows rose high over amused eyes.

“You shall address me as Lady Basingstoke.”

His smile stiffened. “The hell I will. In any case, you shall not carry that title much longer.”

Her hands tightened even more about the parasol she already had gripped in a white-knuckled hold. “Are you threatening me again, your highness?”

With a sigh, he reached out to brush aside a stray curl along her cheek, then froze when she flinched away. “You used to like my touch,” he reminded her gently.

“I am a married lady and do not appreciate the disrespectful manner in which you approach me. I must ask you again to cease your harassing of my person, your highness!”

Holding taut rein on his escalating temper, Varek's hand latched onto her free hand and with gentle force dragged it about his arm. Cognizant of the scene that could erupt at any moment, she had no choice but to be pulled along by him.

“Why can't you leave me alone? Have you no honor?” she pleaded, almost frantic at the feel of his powerful arm under her fingers.

Varek's eyes squinted as he stared off into the distance. “Apparently not. How can I leave you alone, Christina? Whatever binds us together is still there, and as strong as ever. You know this as well I. You should have had faith in me. However, that is neither here nor there. Times are changing and, hopefully, soon there will be nothing to keep us apart.”

“Except a husband I happen to love.”

She gasped as he stopped short and swung her about so they faced each other, his irate gaze compelling her. “Do you indeed, my love? Don't force me to disprove this ridiculous lie you insist upon throwing at me! We both know exactly what would happen if I took you into my arms at this very moment. By the time I'd finished with you, you would not even remember what the man looks like.”

Her breath was tight and labored as she tried to pull away.

Shaking his head, he coaxed her closer, his large hands gently cupping her elbows. “We can't fight what we are, lark. You have tried; I have tried. And look where we are. Right back where we started, loving each other and needing each other even more. I'm just asking you to admit this truth to yourself. Is that so hard?”

His tender words battered at her, and his endearment, which she had never thought to hear again, felt like salt being poured on the open wound that was her heart. Taking a deep breath, she looked up, and the devotion in those beautiful azure eyes was nearly her undoing. Tears gathered behind her lids, which she tried to blink away. “I can't, Varek,” she whispered. “I can't. If I do, I'm lost.” She had to remember her baby at home, her most precious link with the reality of what her life was. What Varek offered wasn't possible any more.

Licking her lips, she pleaded with him, “Varek, it's too late for us. You have got to let go, for both our sakes.”

Stepping back from her, his hands slid down her arms till her hands rested in his. Silent, he toyed with her fingers, marveling at their delicacy. She held his life in these tiny hands. He wondered if she knew or cared anymore. Then with a sad smile, he shook his head. “I can't do that, lark. Not even for you. I've just found you after all these long years, and I would sooner lose my life than lose you again. Whether you like it or not, we belong together. One day you will realize this, and when you do, I'll be waiting.”

Pulling trembling hands from his grasp, Christina didn't know whether to scream, hit him or run for her life. She chose the latter, being the coward that she was. But first she had to try one last time. So she told him coldly, “That's where you are wrong, your highness. Robert has a hold on me that you will never be able to break.”

The frustration was back in the narrowed gaze he turned on her. His jaw was clenched as he thought furiously on his next attack.

As Christina's defiant glare faltered and fell beneath the weight of his regard, Varek reached a decision. He was about to take the second biggest gamble of his life. The first he had been forced into and it had cost him the love of his wife for more years than he wanted to recall. If he lost this time, he would lose her forever. Could he take the chance?

Stiffening his resolve, he plunged ahead. “I will make a wager with you, Christina. You look me square in my eyes and tell me you don't love me anymore. Tell me that what I feel is no longer shared by you, and could never be again.”

The fear he saw dilate her eyes almost made him collapse in relief. He continued with more confidence, “If you can do this and mean it, I will let you go and never bother you again. But, if you can't, you have to give me a chance to win you back without fighting me all the way.” He stepped back, watching her cautiously. “Do you agree to this wager?”

Varek blinked at the flare of fury that darkened her eyes before she looked past him and gazed out over the park. Her face had become an impassive mask that he could not read to save his life. Suddenly, he was scared to death. It couldn't end this way, not with all they had shared. Impatiently, he brushed away the trickle of sweat at his temple.

Minutes passed by and Christina didn't move a muscle, simply staring out at nothing. Only the stirring of the curls at her temple and the muslin skirts about her feet gave a hint that she was more than just a statue poised in thought.

Christina's thoughts, though, were frantically running amuck. At this moment she hated herself and this infernal weakness where Varek was concerned. All she had to do was look him in the eye and lie. A simple little lie. She had done it the other night with Robert. She could do it now. A simple little lie for the good of everyone involved. Then Varek would go away and she would never have to see him again. Her mind shut down on that thought.
Not such a simple lie, after all.

Taking a deep breath, she hardened her resolve and thought of Eddie, her precious son.
This is for Eddie.

Turning her head slightly, she looked Varek straight in the eye. Lord, those eyes of his! Licking her lips, she opened her mouth to speak and saw Varek's gaze drop to visually stroke her moist lips. Christina wanted so badly to close her eyes, to lock out the sight of him, but she didn't. She held true, though the strain to her body was devastating. When his piercing regard moved up slowly again to meet hers, she shivered.

“I...” the sound of her voice cracked and she coughed.

Varek's eyes narrowed.

“I...” she forced her gaze to maintain eye contact with him, though in her mind she blanked out the sight of those beautiful eyes trained so intently on her. Instead, she pictured Eddie's gamine smile. She took a deep breath and declared in a flat voice, “I don't love you anymore, Varek.” She had to literally force each word over her numb tongue. But she had done it! She felt giddy with relief. Thankfully, she broke eye contact with him and looked down at the ground.

Her elation didn't last long though, for she frowned when she noticed that Varek hadn't made a sound. Glancing up, she was astonished to see a small smile curl his sensuous lips. The cad actually looked relieved! Then a brilliant smile broke across his stern visage. When he reached up a finger to tap her nose, she jerked back, her mouth agape in amazement.

“You lied. I believe I just won our little wager,” he drawled.

“Why, you ... you...” she sputtered, thinking of all sorts of horrible things to call him but couldn't seem to find the nerve to say them out loud. Narrowing her eyes, she glared at him. “You just see what you want to see, and you know it!”

“I know when I see a lie in your expressive eyes, lark. And that one was not the least bit credible. You were looking
at
my eyes, Christina, you were not looking
in
them.” His brow rose in a taunt. “You don't believe me? Very well. Do it again. Look
into
my eyes, and say it again.” With a finger, he tipped up her stubborn chin. “Into my eyes, lark.” She glared resentfully, deeply, into his mocking eyes. “Good. Now say it again.”

She narrowed her eyes, and tried to focus beyond the penetrating blue of his eyes; his oh, so beautiful eyes!

He shook her chin. “Into my eyes, damn you, not past them.”

“All right, blast you!” She jerked her chin out of his fingers and stood toe-to-toe with him. This time she did look, and in the turbulent depths she saw all the years, all the memories, all the love they had shared. Her breathing turned erratic but still she held his piercing, demanding gaze, and she opened her mouth.

“Say it, Christina,” he murmured, “If you can.”

She took a deep breath, and held it suspended as she battled with herself. Then she expelled it with an enraged groan, her eyes closing against him in defeat. “Damn you, Varek, you win! I can't say it. Are you happy?” She spun away from him, furious; with herself, with him, and with the fates that had done this to them again. After a fretful moment, she muttered ungraciously, “You are a cad, your highness.”

Trying to keep a straight face, and the smugness out of his voice, Varek bowed low. “I do beg your forgiveness, madam.”

Stepping closer to him, she leaned forward and hissed. “It doesn't change anything, Varek. I am still married, and not to you!” Then turning with a regal swish of her skirts, she hurried down the walkway.

“Not for long, my precious love. Not for long,” Varek murmured as he watched her disappear into the flow of pedestrians before he waved his hand. Out of the crowd materialized a great brute of a man, who immediately took out after Christina, his faithful bloodhound on her scent.