Love Me Again (32 page)

Now the only question was, how long till the first battle? Already, he felt the grains of his life slipping away and there was so much to do.

By the end of March, the Congress had made a formal decision to engage war and recapture Napoleon once and for all. Wellington was appointed Commander-in-Chief of the British and Dutch-Belgian forces if Flanders. With Napoleon on the move, the Allies lost no more time in bickering and, for the first time since the Congress had opened, they came together as a united force. More than a million men had been deployed and were marching for the Swiss border.

Tomorrow Wellington was leaving for Brussels to garrison the city. As usual he traveled light, with minimum baggage and only two aides at his side, and Robert was one of them.

Christina was up early the next morning with her husband, helping with last minute arrangements and escorting him to the coach being loaded in preparation for their departure. Even this early in the morning, a large number of the Congress had turned out to bid their hero farewell and Godspeed.

“I still think it best if you went back to England,” Robert again argued as he watched the loading of the coach.

Christina adamantly shook her head “I will be fine, Robert. The prince insists that I stay at the chancellery now that the Castlereaghs are gone. And with Laure in her delicate condition, I want to help her finish with her responsibilities with the Congress; then we will be closing the palace and moving to Brussels.” She wrapped her hands around his face and pulled his attention completely upon her. “I will see you in Brussels soon, Robert.”

His frown slowly melted away as he stared down on her. Secretly he was pleased, but it was hard to leave her behind with the archduke still sniffing about her skirts. He had been getting progressively more indignant with each trip he was expected to make, leaving his wife behind in that bastard's clutches. He knew there was a conspiracy to keep him out of Vienna, but he was still unsure as to whose door to lay his grudge. Looking down into Christina's candid gaze, he knew he could hardly take his anger out on her.

Gently, he took her hands into his and kissed them. “Promise me you will take care of yourself and arrive safely?”

Christina smiled up at him and teased, “With Francis's imperial guard to escort us, you should worry more about your own trip.”

As if on cue, Wellington came striding out of the Hofburg with Metternich and Castlereagh on his heels, and made his way over to the coach. As he moved, he had the habit of looking about him with a keen, searching eye that made a point of missing nothing. He moved with military precision and grace, and even with his unassuming height, made an impression of power.

When he paused next to Robert, he gave Christina a courteous bow and a charismatic smile of such warmth that she found herself blinking up at him. “I do apologize for taking your husband from you again, my lady, but I find him indispensable.” She saw Robert, standing slightly behind the duke, give a mock shudder.

She bit her lip to stifle the giggle that threatened, then murmured in return, “So do I, your grace. However, for the sake of peace, I must not be selfish.”

Taking her hand, Wellington raised it gallantly to his lips. “A gracious and beautiful patriot. What could be more perfect?
Adieu,
my dear Lady Basingstoke. I shall look forward to the princess's and your arrival with great impatience.”

Then he was gone, and Robert stepped close again. “As will I,” he whispered as he took her into his arms.

Christina's arms went tightly around his neck and she held him close for a long moment. Tears stung her eyes; for this briefest of moments she was holding her old beloved Robert in her arms again, and she didn't want to let him go. Reluctantly, they pushed away from each other. With a sad smile, he brushed her lips with a fingertip before he turned away and joined Wellington in the coach. As soon as the door closed upon him, the horses were whipped up and the coach jerked forward. Immediately, a cheer rose from the people who had turned out to send the hero on his way.

Laure stepped to her side and entwined her arm with Christina's. “And so it begins,” she said sadly as they stood together and watched the coach disappear.

Christina nodded, too depressed to speak.

She prayed she would see Robert again before battle was engaged, but now they never knew what to expect from one day to the next.

Several nights later, Christina was curled up on a chaise in her sitting room, staring into the fire, her thoughts morose. She could only be thankful for the joy that the little puppy, curled up on her stomach, gave her. At that very moment, Katie gave a sleepy stretch; then, shifting about, she trustingly exposed her pink tummy. It proved to be too much of a temptation to resist, and leaning over, Christina gave it a light kiss, then stroked it softly.

Smiling, she thought back over the day she had just spent with Tina, who, back to her usual rambunctious self, had run her and her guards a merry chase through the menagerie. Of Varek she had seen very little, as he was closeted most of the hours of the day with Francis and Metternich. She had heard a rumor being whispered over tea at the chancellery that the stunningly handsome archduke would soon be leaving for Austenburg. With a sigh, she dropped her head back and stared up at the ceiling.

Please God, just let it be a rumor.
The thought of Varek walking into a possible rebellion had her tense and restless.

At a soft knock on the door, Katie jerked up and tumbled off her lap and onto the floor with an inelegant thump. However, that didn't stop her from running to the door, yipping and whining. When Laure walked in, Katie's barking turned into a joyful whining that was much too shrill for so late at night. Laure was still dressed in her evening gown, but she didn't hesitate to kneel down to pet and calm Katie, while telling Christina in a soft undertone, “Varek is still here. He was worried when you didn't come down to dinner. He wishes to see you.”

So it was true, he was coming to say good-bye. Swallowing, Christina rubbed her eyes, knowing that if she saw Varek she was going to make a decision that she didn't know if she could live with later. But how could she not? She would probably never see Varek again, and the very thought was devastating.

“Shall I send him away?” Laure asked gently as she stood again.

“No!” Christina came hurriedly to her feet. “I must see him. I am just so frightened, Laure.”

Coming to her side, Laure brushed a stray tendril away from Christina's eyes. “I know you are, my dear. Just follow your heart.”

Christina shook her head, her smile bitter. “That is the last thing I should do.”

“No, it's not. You have a brave heart, Christina. You will do what is right. Never doubt that.”

“God help us, Laure, but I hope you are right.”

“I believe I shall take this little lady with me.” Laure easily caught up the prancing puppy, knowing that in this case three would definitely be
de trop.
“Shall I send him in here or will you dress and come out?”

Taking a deep breath, Christina asked that he be brought in, and when the door closed on Laure, her blood surged through her, making her weakkneed. The pounding of her heart was as thunder in her ears, and though she missed the sound of the door opening again, she felt his presence. Turning, she watched him walk into the room.

He was such a magnificently gorgeous man, and when his gaze captured hers with such wild hunger, she felt herself melting under the heat of it. The maroon velvet jacket molded his broad-shouldered torso with a precision that left no doubt as to the power that was leashed beneath the trappings of sophistication. And those white pantaloons hugging his hips and thighs were as close to indecency as society expected and left little to the imagination as to his physical endowments. Yet, despite the passion heating between them, his regal features were suffused with a look of deep sorrow. Her fingers twisted together as her body began to quiver with the premonition of her worst fear. She had to take several deep breaths before she could even speak.

“You've come to say good-bye, haven't you?”

Varek stopped in the shadows. He knew he was being a coward as he hung back in the concealing dimness, but with his emotions stripped bare, he couldn't face her yet. It took him a moment to catch his breath as he watched her. She was so damn beautiful. The loose wrapper she wore clung with a seductive softness to her curves, which were visible to his hungry gaze with the firelight behind her. Her sable hair tumbled about her, clinging to her shoulders and hips in lush tendrils that made his hands clench with the need to bury his fingers in its silken weight. He closed his eyes on the sting of tears. How was he going to give her up again? He was almost thankful that his time on earth was so limited, for he wouldn't live long with his heart torn to shreds again.

“Yes. I have to go to Austenburg, but I promised Francis I would join the Austrian forces when the conflict starts. I know not when we will see each other again.” Which he doubted would be in this world.

Christina looked down at her clenched hands. “I cannot begin to understand why we were brought together only to be torn apart again. I refuse to believe that we are still being punished for a love that was as pure as ours. What we have is so special, Varek. So rare.” Looking up, she tried to search his face, which was impossible as he hid from her in the shadows. They stood staring at each other with a room separating them, and in the blink of an eye, it was suddenly crystal clear what she wanted. A sense of peace began to suffuse her body with a lightness that was liberating.

Her fingers relaxed and her body tingled in anticipation as she slowly smiled at him. “Would you do one last thing for me, Varek?”

“You know I would die for you, lark.” His voice was a hoarse whisper.

“Make love to me.”

He stared at her stunned, praying he hadn't misheard her. “And in the morning? Will you hate me in morning? For I couldn't bear it, lark.”

“Oh, Varek, how could you ever think that? I will spend every day of my life loving you. Give me what is left of this night to hold in my heart. These few stolen hours will not harm my son. They will not harm my husband. For this one night I want to be selfish and hold you in my arms again. I need it, Varek, as surely as I need to draw breath.”

Varek came into the light, and the look on his face suddenly opened the door her soul had been locked behind. When he stood beside her, he tenderly traced the faint bruise still marring her temple. “You
are
the air I breathe.”

Christina raised her arms and encircled his neck. She felt herself lifted into those powerful arms and held against his pounding heart. This was the sense of sheltered tranquillity she had been missing all these years. When next her feet touched the floor she found them beside her bed, firelight flickering gently over the cool silk sheets. Looking into his eyes, she reached up and pushed his jacket off his shoulders. “I am starved for the sight of you.”

“I vow that I will not leave you hungry.” His promise feathered over the tender skin of her nape as he pushed the heavy tresses aside.

Impossible, Christina thought as she plucked at his cravat. Already her hunger was out of control and she only had this one night. “Take these off,” she demanded with breathless greed.

He stripped off his garments in mere seconds, and Christina ran her hands over his chest, luxuriating in the feel of his satin skin. Even after six years his tautly muscled chest was as familiar to her as her own body. She sighed with delight as her fingers burrowed into the golden pelt that lightly covered his chest. Closing her eyes, she let her fingers be her sight as they trembled in their rediscovery of the beauty of Varek. She felt the muscles of his flat stomach clench beneath her light exploration, and the scent of him made her light-headed with desire. His breath exhaled on a hiss as her hands smoothed over his flanks and cupped his firm buttocks, chuckling when they flexed in her grasp. His thighs were the sculpted muscles of an avid horseman, and they quivered beneath her touch as she teasingly glided her fingertips up the sensitive skin of his thighs.

His moans were the most beautiful sounds she could ever remember hearing as she knelt down before him, her wandering fingers grazing the soft hair of his calves, then skimming over his slender feet.

Breathing deeply, she opened her eyes and saw that most stunning length of flesh that for years had held her a slave to unbridled pleasure. Reverently, her hands encompassed the burning heat of his erection. His body jolted, but he stood firm under her tortuous teasing. She felt his hands in her hair, his fingers gently massaging her scalp and then raising handfuls of her long tresses so he could bury his face in them.

With fascination she watched her fingers stroke along the purple veins of his heated flesh to the tip, which was engorged and wet. She touched her thumb to the pearly moisture and delicately smoothed it over the enflamed tip. His penis jerked and seemed to grow even more in her tender grip.

“How I have dreamed of this.” Laying her cheek along his hot flesh, her lips brushed the dense curls at the base as she reminisced in whispered awe. “How I have dreamed about taking you in my mouth and loving you. I have never forgotten your taste, the exquisite scent of you. I never will.”

“Lark,” Varek groaned as he fell to his knees in front of her. “Let me see you now,” he pleaded, his voice strangled with the force of his desire. It was killing him to go slow, when all he really wanted to do was pull her beneath him and thrust into her, and finally come home.

Her eyes and smile were so sensuous, he had to bite back a curse of impatience. “Lark, God, please, let me see you.”

She rose gracefully to her feet, and with a whisper of silk, the dressing gown pooled at her feet. Varek felt the air sucked out of his lungs as he stared up at her
. God help me, but how will I ever let you go again?
he thought in anguish as he worshiped her with his eyes.