Love & Loss (44 page)

‘Mia?’ He opened his eyes and I kissed his forehead. He still looked upset and tired.

‘Hey, how are you feeling?’

‘Awful, I’m so sorry.’

‘I know you are, but Dr Jarvis is here to see you, so you need to get dressed. I’ll go and sit in the lounge and let him come in here so it’s private ok?’

‘You called him?’

‘Doug did, he’s really worried about you, we both are. We’re just trying to look out for you Gabe. I’m sorry we upset you last night.’ I put my fingers under his chin and tilted his head back and planted a gentle kiss on his lips. ‘Come on, get dressed.’

He nodded and rolled away from me, sitting up in bed as he pulled on his discarded shirt. I got up and put my jeans back on and ran my fingers through my hair and made the bed while Gabe finished dressing.

‘You should be in lectures.’

‘I’m right where I should be Gabe, with you.’

‘Mia I …’ he exhaled and ran his hands through his hair.

‘Say nothing. You don’t need to say anything, if I needed your support you’d be here for me, that’s what partners do ok?’ I advised. He bit his lip and nodded and I headed out to the lounge. Doug, Lexi and Dr Jarvis were all standing by the island and looked at me questioningly.

‘Good morning,’ smiled Dr Jarvis.

‘Morning, I’m so sorry to call you out like this, but he was in quite a state. He’s calmed down now he’s had his meds and a sleep.’

‘It’s no problem at all, this is what Mr Austin is paying me for. Can I go and see him?’

‘Yes, he’s in the bedroom, there’s a chair in there for you. Can I get you a drink?’

‘No thank you I’m fine. I’ll speak to you when I’m done.’ He picked up his case and I pointed him to the door and watched him walk and in close it behind him. Lexi came striding over and hugged me tightly.

‘You ok?’

‘I will be,’ I nodded. ‘You’re supposed to be in History.’

‘What and leave you here on your own?’

‘I had Doug protecting me,’ I laughed.

‘Yeah well, he’s the muscle, I’m the emotional support,’ she replied as she rubbed her hand up and down my back before letting me go.

‘Well you’re both amazing. Right I’ve not slept or eaten, so I need caffeine and a bacon sandwich, who’s in?’

‘Hell yeah,’ Lexi nodded.

‘Count me in,’ smiled Doug.

I got to work, happy to be distracted from whatever was going on, and to see Doug and Lexi finally talking. They weren’t as relaxed as they had been with each other, but it was a start. We sat around the dining table as we ate in contemplative silence.

‘Doug?’

‘Yeah Mia?’ he mumbled, his mouth full.

‘If Gabe can’t actually swim competitively, do you think being involved in some other way would help him?’

‘How do you mean?’

‘I was wondering if you could have a word with Davies, see if he’d let Gabe help out on the coaching side. Gabe told me that he wanted to be a PE teacher until his shoulder injury screwed up his plans. Maybe if he could help out, it would give him something positive to focus on. What do you think?’

‘I think it’s a bloody brilliant idea,’ he grinned.

‘You do?’

‘Yeah, I’ll ring Davies now and have a word.’

‘You’ll have to tell him about Gabe’s condition, he’d need to be prepared.’

‘I know and I’d tell him not to disclose it to anyone else, you can trust him, he’s a decent guy.’

‘Great. I was thinking if he could help out on swimming training nights, I could sort out a running schedule as well, give him something else to focus on. Do you know any of his friends that run that could go with him when I can’t?’

‘Yeah James and I run, we could pick up the slack when you can’t go with him. How about you Lex?’ he winked at her and she laughed.

‘You think you’re so funny,’ she replied with a gentle shove of his shoulder. He grinned and headed to the sofa to make the call. ‘You really ok Mia?’

‘I will be,’ I smiled. ‘I just want him to get better Lex. I hate seeing him all confused and angry, then he gets all upset after.’

‘You really thought he’d run to
her
.’

‘You didn’t see him last night Lex, he was furious.’

‘Why didn’t you come and get me?’ she asked, looking hurt.

‘Doug was here and well … you two weren’t talking, I thought it would be awkward for you both. You’re ok with this?’ I added in a whisper, nodding in his direction.

‘Yeah,’ she sighed. ‘It’s weird, part of me wants to avoid him for ever until I’ve got him out of my system, then part of me just wants to turn back the clock and try again,’ she smiled as she looked over in his direction, while he paced the lounge talking animatedly on his mobile.

‘You’d like to try again?’ I asked, full of hope.

‘If I didn’t have this frickin’ emotional baggage weighing me down, yeah,’ she nodded.

‘What can I do to help?’

‘Nothing,’ she said firmly. ‘You have enough on your plate with Gabe. Focus on him and I’ll work harder in counselling sessions ok?’

‘Ok,’ I smiled with a nod and reached out and touched her arm. ‘But you know I’m always here if you need any deep emotional chats?’

‘Goes both ways Page,’ she smiled. We looked around as Doug walked over.

‘Ok, I’ve struck a deal with Davies. He’s prepared to let Gabe coach the men’s team while he focusses on the women’s, if that’s what Gabe wants.’

‘Doug,’ I screeched, as I launched myself at him and hugged him tightly and peppered his cheek with kisses. ‘Thank you, thank you,
thank you.
I think it will really help him.’

‘Me too, great idea Mia,’ he replied as he hugged me back and kissed the top of my head. ‘Right, I’d like to hang around until I know that you’re ok on your own with him, then I think Lex and I better give you some space. You look knackered.’

‘You too,’ I smiled as I looked up at him and my eyes started to fill up. ‘You’re an amazing friend, to him and to me Doug.’

‘Shit, I’ve had my quota of emotional Mia for one week thanks,’ he laughed. ‘Lex come and take her off my hands. Coffee anyone?’

We were all sitting in the lounge when I heard the bedroom door open and close and looked around to see Dr Jarvis.

‘Could I have a word in private?’ he asked looking directly at me.

‘If it’s ok with you, I’m happy for you to talk in front of Doug and Lexi. While Robert’s abroad, we’re pretty much his family.’

‘Ok. He’ll be fine, I’ll see him again daily now as he’s finding it difficult to adjust to being back in lectures and not being with you. He needs to take his medication at set times every night and I’ve increased his dose. He needs plenty of rest so I’ve prescribed some sleeping tablets for him to take each night for a while to knock him out and make sure he gets a full night’s sleep, which will definitely help. While he’s taking these he needs to avoid alcohol at all costs. He also needs to avoid any stressors where ever possible, so I would suggest …’ he stalled and rubbed his hands over his mouth as he looked at me.

‘Suggest what?’

‘That he doesn’t accompany you to any extracurricular activities you … enjoy, rather make arrangements to ensure he is happy that you are safe in the time he is not with you,’ he replied with a faint smile. I blushed, he was talking about my pole dancing.

‘Ok,’ I nodded. ‘Do you think the pressure of coaching the swim team would be too much for him? We’ve managed to organise it, if he’s up for it, I thought it may take his mind of things and give him something to focus on.’

‘I don’t see why that would cause him any undue stress, it would give him some purpose where he was lacking it from sitting out competing. Your safety is his main concern, try and minimise any stress to him over that and I think you’ll do just fine. Get in a routine with him, that will help reduce his worries.’

‘Is Mia safe alone with him?’ asked Doug with a concerned frown.

‘I wouldn’t leave him here if I didn’t think so. Right I’d better get back to the office. It was very nice to meet you all, a good support system is just what Gabe needs right now.’ He smiled at me and I realised how professional he was, he hadn’t once used my name or given any indication that he knew me. I got up and walked him to the front door.

‘Thank you,’ I smiled.

‘You’re welcome.’

‘See you tomorrow,’ I whispered and he just smiled and headed down the stairs. There was definitely not going to be a lack of communication on my part in our session tomorrow, not with all of this going on.

‘Right, I think it’s best we clear out, let you two be alone. Just ring me if you need me Mia,’ Doug advised as he gave me another hug.

‘I know, thanks again Doug. I think it’s best he stays in tonight, but once I’ve managed to speak to him about the coaching offer, I’ll let you know.’

‘Will you be ok?’ Lexi asked. ‘I can skip English and stay next door if you need me to?’

‘We’ll be fine Lex, besides you can’t afford to get behind. Not now you have a job as well which will eat up into your free time.’ I shoulder bumped her with a grin. She’d got a bar job at Peppers on Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday night, which only left us Monday nights to study together if we were still going to have our nights together on a Tuesday and Friday. ‘I’ll text you both later to let you know how we’re doing.’

I shut the door, took a deep breath and headed into the bedroom. Gabe was missing, but the dressing room door was open and I could hear the shower going. I stripped off and headed into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. He was standing in the shower, in his glorious wet nakedness, his forearms folded on the tiled wall, resting his forehead on them. I slipped in behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

‘Hey,’ I whispered.

‘Hey,’ he said quietly and I kissed the back of his shoulder and noticed his ribs moving up and down faster.

‘So I’m staying home with you today. What would you like to do?’

‘I’d like to lose myself in you for a while, if that’s ok?’ he replied as he straightened up. I let go of him and he turned around and I gulped. His beautiful cock was at full mast and his eyes burned darkly. The sight of his solid perfect body turned on mine in an instant. He stepped towards me and gently clasped my face as he held my gaze. I felt my lips part as my pulse and breathing spiked. ‘Mia?’

‘Yes,’ I whispered as his thumbs swept across my cheekbones.

‘You’re so beautiful, I love you so much,’ he sighed as he lowered his head and his lips met mine. I moaned as he kissed me softly, delicate sweet kisses that made me sag against him. He let go of my face and picked me up and turned me, placing my back against the wall. I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist and arms around his neck as I returned to kiss him more vigorously. ‘Hey, slow down,’ he murmured as his hands palmed and squeezed my bottom.

‘I want you,’ I sighed.

‘You’ve got me, I just want to take this slowly, to savour you baby,’ he sighed as he kissed me again. I followed his lead as his lips worked against mine, his tongue leisurely caressing mine as his fingers kneaded my backside. He moved around to kiss my neck, running his lips up and down it until I groaned as I felt myself flood with arousal.

‘Gabe,
please
,’ I pleaded as I flexed my hips and rubbed myself up and down his erection. One night apart had me full of desire to reconnect with him the best way we knew how. ‘I need you.’

‘I need you too baby,
so much
,’ he mumbled as he nibbled my ear. He slid a hand under my thigh and positioned himself before thrusting straight up into me and holding himself still inside me as we both groaned. I could feel him pulsating inside me as he reached his right hand up to palm my face and search my eyes.

‘What?’ I smiled as I swivelled my hips on him, relishing the thickness of his girth filling me completely.

‘You take my breath away Mia Page,’ he whispered. ‘I don’t know what I did to deserve you.’

‘You loved me, better than anyone has ever loved me Gabe. Don’t talk, we can talk later. You wanted to lose yourself for a while, do that with me, in me. Use my body to make yourself feel better.’ I twisted my head to kiss his wrist.

‘I feel like I’ve got poison running through my veins, I’m no good for you,’ he said quietly as his eyes turned sad again.

‘Then let me be your antidote. Look at what we’ve been through Gabe. We’re two commitment phobes who couldn’t be more committed if we tried. We were meant to be.’ I reached forward with one hand and palmed his face, matching his gesture and gently kissed his soft lips again.

‘Destined?’

‘Yes,’ I smiled. ‘
Destined.
’ That was a good way to sum up how I felt about our relationship. No matter what we were going to make it work because it
was
meant to be. ‘I love you Gabe, let’s talk later, right now I want you to make love to me, then I want you to take me to bed so I can lie in your arms and go to sleep. I missed you so much last night.’

‘I missed you too baby, I’m so sorry.’

‘
Sssshhhh.
’ I kissed him again and raised myself up and then sank back down his shaft and he grunted before pinning my hips to the wall with his palms and slowly thrusting into me, before withdrawing nearly all the way out and pushing into me again, over and over. ‘O God,’ I cried. How he made my body feel was indescribable, pleasure surged through every molecule of my being, right to the blunt tips of my hair. My thighs tightened around his hips as I moved with him, in perfect synchronicity. My nipples were stinging, his pelvic bone rubbing against my clit. My orgasm was chasing me down already, my body helpless to resist. I dropped my head back onto the tiles as I opening my mouth and closed my eyes. ‘Ahhhh Gabe …
Gabe.’