Love & Loss (21 page)

‘If I can still get it up, most definitely,’ he replied with a kiss to my hair. I lay in his arms for a while and suddenly sat up and looked at him.

‘Your present. You never opened it, it’s on the roof.’

‘God yes, so is yours.’

‘Mine? Isn’t this mine?’ I asked holding up my left hand.

‘No, that’s an engage … a ring. Nothing to do with our anniversary.’ He gently lifted me off him and sat me down on the sofa and got up, tucking himself back in. ‘I’ll be back in a minute.’ He fiddled with a remote and a roaring fire came to life in the modern stove suspended from the ceiling. I watched as the elevator doors closed and stretched my arms and caught sight of my ring sparkling in the fire light and held my hand to examine it properly. It really was exquisite and big, but not so big it looked ostentatious. I think it was a princess cut diamond, flush with the platinum bezel around it and it balanced proudly on the slender ring under it. I dreaded to think what he’d spent on it. In a way I was so happy, he really loved me and this was just another sign of that. Like Lexi’d once said, he was expressing I was his girl for life, it was kind of romantic.

The thought of getting married though filled me with absolute terror. Messiness and hatred of each other seemed to follow most marriages I’d seen. I never wanted to be like that with Gabe. I couldn’t understand how people could go from being so in love to being so spiteful to each other. I looked up as the elevator dinged and he stepped out and I inhaled and felt a little buzz in my body to see him, he was gorgeous and mine. I leapt of the sofa and ran to him flinging my arms around his neck and kissed him, taking him by surprise.

‘Hmmm thank you, but I kind of have my hands full here,’ he mumbled against my lips.

‘I missed you.’

‘I was only gone for two minutes.’

‘So?’

‘You’re sweet baby. Go and sit on the sofa,’ he laughed. I pecked his lips again and let him go and waited for him sit down and then climbed into his lap. I grabbed the Bergdorf Goodman wrapped one and handed it to him.

‘It’s not much, but I thought of you when I saw it.’

‘I always love your presents.’ He flashed me a dazzled smile that reduced me to a puddle and he opened it excitedly. I grinned as he opened the box and peeled back the tissue paper and held up the soft silk boxers, rubbing them in his fingers. ‘Baby these are gorgeous.’

‘Soft, silky, warm and luxurious, just like you,’ I smiled. ‘They were more for me than you actually, I thought how sexy you’d look in them and even sexier as I peel you out of them.’

‘I’ll wear these tomorrow to test them out for you then. Go on open yours.’

‘I have two,’ I said surprised.

‘One’s for you and one’s sort of for my benefit as well,’ he wiggled his eyebrows up and down making me laugh.

‘Which do I open first?’

‘The serious one,’ he nodded to the low square box, which I shook before opening.

‘O Gabe,’ I sighed happily as I pulled out an identical bangle to my silver one, but in yellow gold. He’d even had the dates duplicated inside.

‘You look so lovely in gold and you looked upset that you had to take off your silver one in Scotland, so I thought now you always have one, whatever the outfit.’

‘I love it baby, thank you.’ I kissed him and smiled at his reaction to my endearment again. He handed me the second gift, which felt quite heavy. I opened it and took out the item and turned it over in my hands, it was beautiful but I wasn’t sure what it was. It was heavy clear glass with a ripple of pink swirling through the middle of it, shaped like an egg. ‘Is it a paperweight?’ I asked confused. He burst out laughing, deep chesty guffaws of laughter as I looked on surprised. I’d never heard him laugh so much.

‘How would a paper weight be for my benefit too?’ he asked his shoulders still shaking.

‘Well I don’t know, what is it then? An ornament for the apartment?’

‘Stop, baby please stop, my sides are killing me,’ he laughed. ‘It’s a kegel egg.’

‘A what?’

‘It’s sort of a sex toy, you put it inside you and walk around with it and it massages you inside and helps tighten your muscles.’

‘I need tightening?’ I exclaimed horrified, and slightly insulted.

‘No, not you baby, you’re perfect. I got it for the pleasure side.’

‘But where’s the pleasure for you? You surely wouldn’t try and fuck me with this in?’

‘Not unless you wanted me too, but the thought of you walking around with that in you, knowing it’s turning you on … that turns me on. I’ve gone hard at the thought of it.’

‘You don’t want me to try it now do you? I need a shower first.’

‘No not tonight, I’ll let you know when.’

I juggled it between my two hands wondering how the hell I would get it out, if I managed to get it in to start with, it looked big. Gabe grabbed it out of my hands and lifted me, twisting me to straddle him and undid his trousers and pulled himself out. ‘Again?’ I questioned.

‘Yes, ok?’

‘O yes,’ I sighed as I wriggled down his shaft and he fiddled with the hooks on the back of my Basque. I stayed still and tightened all my vaginal muscles gripping him as hard as I could and he jumped.

‘Shit Mia, careful,’ he moaned as he pulled my Basque away and set my breasts free.

‘I don’t need tightening,’ I grumbled making a point by doing it again.

‘You don’t, I didn’t mean to insult you, that’s not why I got it. You already know you can make me come just doing that, that and feeling you so full of me already.’

‘How does it feel?’ I asked placated.

‘Hot and delicious, inside and out,’ he groaned as he swirled his hips below me.

‘You’re so perverted,’ I sighed as I held onto his biceps and rotated on top of him, his hands regulating the speed of my hips.

‘But I’m your pervert,’ he sighed as he buried his face in my breasts and kissed them all over making me squirm even harder, before gently licking each nipple, nibbling, biting and sucking until I didn’t know what was coming next.

‘
My pervert
,’ I groaned as my clit rubbed on his pubic bone.

‘And you’re my kinkstress,’ he muttered as he moved my hips faster.

‘I like that … kinkstress … Ooooo
Gabe
,’ I sighed. One hand ran up my spine and firmly grasped the back of my neck as he kissed me. ‘God you can kiss,’ I sighed as he pulled away.

‘Hold my hands and lean back,’ he ordered, his eyes dark and more intense than normal. I felt myself react automatically to his request, what was he up to? I did as I was told and shuffling my hips forward to maintain contact. ‘Put your legs up on my shoulders.’ God this was hot, I uncurled one leg and pointed my toe and lifted it up through the gap under his arm, before repeating with the other. Gabe held my weight in his firm hands, then pulled me upright, until we were nose to nose, the back of my thigh muscles working hard up against his stomach. ‘Christ you’re so flexible,’ he groaned released one hand at a time to grip around my waist. ‘You blow my mind baby.’

I yelped as he started to tilt his pelvis up and down, sliding in and out of me. I gripped his neck, my knees rubbing against my nipples and started to pant. ‘O Gabe, you’re incredible,’ I whispered as my jaw dropped and my neck arched back. I felt his mouth on my throat, hot soft lips caressing the exposed skin and I started to come, with him following me instantly. I tipped my head forwards as the last of the ripples ran through me and thrust my tongue into his mouth and we kissed until our bodies had slowed down.

‘Hmmm that was different, I enjoyed that,’ he smiled as he looked at me.

‘Me too, but how the hell do I get off you?’ I laughed as he kissed me again.

‘Hold tight.’ He shuffled around and lay back on the sofa and lifted my off him, the pulled me down to lie on the sofa neck to him, clutching me tightly against his chest as I snuggled into him. We just lay there for ages, in silent contentedness.

‘I’ve had a lovely anniversary night,’ I smiled as I kissed him.

‘Me too, but it’s not over yet. I promised you four times and we’re only at three.’

‘Then hold that thought, I’m hopping in the shower, you’ve ruined me.’ I struggled out of his grasp and skipped to the bathroom and hosed myself down before opening one of my shopping bags and pulled out the black flyway baby doll and knickers and put them on, along with the marabou heels and checked myself in the mirror. It was pretty sexy, the way the top split under my breasts and showed off my toned stomach and piercing. I headed into the lounge and stood with my hands on my hips, my mouth open, aghast. He was fast asleep, one leg and arm hanging off the sofa, the other arm over his eyes with his hair all ruffled. I toyed with climbing on there with the duvet with him, but it was a designer sofa, it looked good but wasn’t very comfortable so I gently rubbed his stomach.

‘Hey sleepy, come on, bed.’

‘Hmmm,’ he grumbled and rolled over.

‘Gabe, come on, come to bed with me.’

‘Yeah give me a minute,’ he mumbled. I wasn’t sure if he was actually awake and I sighed. I decided I wasn’t going to have another sleepless night if we were out late tomorrow clubbing, so I turned off the lights and stood marvelling at the view for a while before climbing into bed and curling up with one of his pillows looking at my beautiful ring.

‘Hey sexy girl, wake up. It’s past nine.’

‘Hmmm,’ I sighed. I’d slept really well and felt so warm and comfortable I didn’t want to move. ‘Mia, wake up, I’m ready.’

I opened my eyes to look straight into his, the blue hue like a clear Caribbean sea and the whites like an artic glacier. How did he look so good after so many nights on minimal sleep? ‘Ready for what? What’s the plan?’

‘Well I slacked off last night, I want sex with you before we go out.’

‘Do you ever wake up not hard?’

‘Not when I’m with you no and after getting a glimpse of that sexy little black number you have on, I’m definitely not getting soft anytime soon,’ he smiled. I smiled back and realised he was holding my left hand, his thumb rubbing over my new ring.

‘I love it Gabe, it’s beautiful.’

‘Beautiful and precious, just like you,’ he smiled and sat up and quickly whipped the duvet back and pushed me onto my back. He sat naked, sitting back on his heels at my side as he looked down at me. ‘Very beautiful,’ he sighed as he ran a finger down the bare flesh to the top of my tiny knickers. ‘I’d like to fuck you while you’re wearing this.’

‘Hmmm,’ I sighed. I reached out and gently stroked the tip of his penis, his baby soft skin quivering under my fingers, then I gripped his shaft and moved my hand up and down as I looked up into his eyes.

‘Baby what are you doing? Don’t you want sex?’ he asked wide eyed and surprised.

‘Of course I do, but I wanted to touch you first. Your body is luscious and I like admiring it, just like you love looking at mine.’ I tightened my grip on him and he groaned and parted his lips, his tongue darting out and I shifted in the bed, remembering where that tongue had been last night, how well he’d used it and quickly kneeled up, running my tongue up his abs, over his chest and into the hollow of his throat laying tender kisses as my hand worked him over. He tipped his head back and made throaty noises as I kissed from one side to the over before letting him go and straddling him.

‘Take me now,’ I pleaded as I looked into his eyes. He lifted my bottom, slipped the tiny piece of material between my thighs out of the way and put himself in position, pushing me down onto him as we maintained eye contact and I gasped with pleasure to feel him stretching me again.

‘I hate to tell you this, but you’ve got it so bad for me Mianna Page,’ he said quietly with a big smile on his face.

‘Just like you have for me Gabriel Austin.’

‘I have baby, so bad,’ he groaned as he rocked his hips making me squeal and I watched his eyes narrow and heard his breathing quicken. ‘Let me hear you Mia, I love hearing the noises you make when I’m inside you.’ I rocked gently on him, gripping his neck and stroking it with my thumb as we kissed. I could lose myself in him, feeling his lips pressing against mine, his tongue gently rolling around my own, hands roaming my body. I felt him tip me onto my back, so he was between my thighs, his powerful arms holding him up above me as he made love to me slowly, my body tingling all over. ‘I love you Mia,’ he said earnestly as he moved above me.

‘O God Gabe, say that again.’

‘I love you Mia. Come for me baby,’ he ordered. I closed my eyes and tuned into the feeling of him filling me, his chest rubbing on mine, fingers gently gripping my shoulders and when I felt his lips touch mine again I quivered and let myself go, holding onto his head as my hips merged with his. I heard him mumbling in my mouth and felt him come before he rolled onto his side and held me in his arms sighing contentedly.

‘So what are we doing today?’ I asked as we snuggled.

‘We have lunch reservations at a steakhouse at two, so while we’re in that area I thought we could go and see Grand Central Station and the New York public library.’

‘What time do you need to leave for your basketball game?’

‘Antonio’s bringing Dad and Sofia here at seven, so we can walk to Madison Square and he can take you girls for your cocktails. Come on then, we’d better get ready.’ He ran his nose down mine and kissed me before jumping up and heading into the shower. I lay on my back and stretched my arms above my head smiling happily, before getting up and laying out my clothes, he was coming out of the shower as I headed in and pinned me to the wall kissing me before smacking my bottom and heading to the sink to shave. We watched each other in the mirror and he winked as he headed out and I finished off. I dressed and found him in the kitchen, in his dark blue jeans and a white shirt making scrambled eggs.

It was nearly eleven by the time we got out and we walked quickly to Grand Central, Gabe managed to order us some beer without “getting carded” in the bar overlooking the beautiful concourse before we headed for lunch. We had a delicious porterhouse steak for two with au poivre sauce, baked potato and my favourite creamed spinach, before heading off to spend a couple of hours browsing the amazing library.

‘I really need to put more study time in Gabe,’ I sighed as we started the walk back. ‘Jenkins gave me a lecture on not trying hard enough and I love my English classes so much, I really need to buy more books and fit in more reading to broaden my knowledge.’

‘So we’ll agree on some set hours each week that are strictly study time, where we agree not to disturb each other. I’m going to have to work extra hard too when I come back. I’ve got a carpenter building a custom unit that can be opened up and houses two desks and loads of shelving so we can put all our Uni stuff in there and close the doors on it when we don’t want to see it.’

‘Have you heard from Tom? How’s it going?’

‘Great, flooring’s in, lighting’s wired up and they are halfway through fitting the kitchen, bathroom and dressing room. It’s all on track for us moving in on Friday 27
^th
.’

‘Really?’ I looked up at him all excited, I’d loved spending all this time with him, I couldn’t want for us to be together all the time, especially as he was getting back to normal.

‘Yes.’

‘Can we make it Saturday 28
^th
as our first night in there together?’

‘Why not Friday?’ he asked, looking disappointed.

‘Lex was pretty upset the other night, saying we’d not had a last night in our apartment together, so I promised I’d have one more with her. I’d like to spend the Friday night with her in there, if you don’t mind. I can still move a load of clothes and things over.’

‘I guess it wouldn’t hurt to have a night apart, Dr Jarvis tells me that I need to work on not being so “needy” with you,’ he rolled his eyes as I giggled. ‘I could go out with Doug. I think he misses our boys Fridays.’

‘Thank you. Lexi will be so happy, well until Saturday morning anyway.’

‘You’re only moving next door.’

‘I know, it’ll just be weird. We’ve sort of lived together for seven years Gabe. It’s a long time and I’ll miss her too.’ He kissed the top of my beanie hat and smiled at me.

‘Please don’t ever let me get in the way of your friendship again Mia. I know I’m possessive and controlling but you need to tell me before it gets to the point it did when we got back from Edinburgh, I want you to be happy so you need to tell me to back off if I get too much.’

‘It’s not that easy though Gabe, I did try telling you for a long time before then, but I’m grateful that you’re trying hard so hard for me now.’

‘It is hard,’ he sighed. ‘I keep having to remind myself to count to ten and consider what would be acceptable behaviour for a normal couple.’

‘Is that what Dr Jarvis has you doing?’

‘Breathing and relaxation exercises and trying to put myself in other people’s shoes.’

‘Well it’s working Gabe, you’re doing so well, I’m really proud of you.’

‘Thanks baby,’ he gave me a grateful smile and squeezed my hand.

‘Do you have nightmares about the accident?’ I asked tentatively.

‘No,’ he replied with a shake of his head. ‘No nightmares, just a lot of anger that it happened and has affected me so badly. Not just the swimming, but how I’ve been with you and everyone around me.’

‘It must be so hard not knowing who it was, why it happened or why they didn’t stop. I’m really angry about that too.’

‘You are?’

‘Of course I am Gabe, someone hurt you, really badly and I could have lost you. If we ever find out who it was I’m not sure I could control myself.’

‘You could slap them a few times, you’re good at that,’ he smiled.

‘I’d do more than slap Gabe,’ I muttered as I felt myself getting worked up over the thought of it.

‘I’m sorry Mia, I never even thought how difficult it must have been for you, I’d have been out of my mind if it had been the other way around.’

‘I was Gabe, but you needed me to help you get better so I focussed on that and it helped. I’m just so happy that you’re standing here with me today and we’re going to keep working on your recovery, physical and emotional, together ok?’

‘Have I told you how much I love you?’ he whispered as he kissed my head again.

‘You may have mentioned it in passing a few times,’ I giggled. ‘So how do we handle me wanting to do things without you when we get home?’

‘I don’t like you springing things on me at the last minute. Give me some notice, let me have time to mull it over and get used to the idea. I mean I know now that Tuesday and Friday’s are off limits, at least until bed time, but I’d like advance warning for other things.’

‘Ok I can do that,’ I nodded. He seemed to be in an amenable mood, now was the time to strike. ‘In the spirit of advance warning then, don’t get mad, but I’d like you to take some time to think about what else I’d like to do on a regular basis. I still want to do my Pilates and the gym with Milo on a Thursday night and I’d like to do some pole dancing at Peppers, maybe every Saturday night.’ I heard him suck his breath in and felt his fingers tighten around mine, but he remained silent as we walked. I looked up at him, wondering if I should say anymore and saw he had a frown on his face. He’d definitely heard me, his reaction confirmed that, so I decided to let him mull it over. I’d need to bring up Peppers again by the time we got home though if he didn’t, I needed that income to start as soon as possible. I really didn’t want a student loan. ‘So are you going casual to the game and changing after to meet Sofia and I?’ I asked changing tack.

‘Yes, I think that would be best.’

‘How are we getting home to England Gabe?’

‘On the company jet again. Dad’s coming back with us, we’ll be leaving late Monday night, so we’ll be home just after lunch time on your birthday.’

‘For my party?’

‘Bloody Doug, he’s useless,’ he groaned, looking at me surprised that I knew. ‘It was him wasn’t it? He let it slip?’

‘Yes, but I don’t know what’s planned.’

‘Good, it was supposed to be a surprise.’

‘I’ve already had lots of surprises Gabe,’ I smiled as I felt the band of my ring through my thick sheepskin gloves. ‘I don’t need any more for a long time.’

I had some toast when we got in, I didn’t want to head out drinking on a completely empty stomach. Gabe came out of the bedroom in his combats, jumper and baseball cap.

‘Bedroom and bathrooms all yours baby,’ he smiled, sweeping a crumb off my mouth with his thumb and planting a kiss on my lips.

‘You know we’ve only had sex once today slacker?’ I may just have to keep my eye out for a wealthy New York Batchelor with some staying power.’ I watched him scowl at me, before I side stepped him as he lunged at me, I skipped around to the other side of the sofa as he fumed.

‘I’ll give you bloody slacker. Get over here, now.’

‘How easy do you think I am? I need to be pursued and wooed,’ I said with a fake pout.

‘Wooed? I think that bloody rock on your finger shows I’ve already wooed you Mia.’

‘So you just think that means I’ll drop my knickers whenever you say?’ I teased as I darted to the left as he advanced on me.

‘Yes. I’d do it for you.’

‘I can’t just turn it on just like that you know. I need to be warmed up, put in the mood.’ I gritted my teeth to stop myself from giggling. I was always in the mood when I looked at him, who wouldn’t be?

‘But I want you all the time Mia … are you saying … you’re saying you don’t want me like that?’ he asked as he stopped dead in his tracks. I gasped as I heard the tone of his voice. I was playing with him, didn’t he realise that? One look at his hurt face said he didn’t, he thought I was being serious. I ran across the lounge and up over the sofa and launched myself at him, wrapping my legs around his waist, clinging to him like ivy.

‘I was teasing you Gabe, I always want you. Please don’t look like that, so sad. You said you liked the idea of having to subdue me so I thought I’d play with you, make it hard for you. I didn’t mean it.’

‘You were playing?’

‘Yes, I was trying to play hard to get so you could pretend to force me. I thought you liked that idea.’

‘I do, but I just … I thought you were being serious. That you needed me to work on you to make you want me.’

‘Gabe, I told you you’re the hottest, sexiest man I’ve ever seen, you
never
need to work on me. I get wet just thinking about you baby,’ I sighed as I kissed his neck and nibbled his ear.