Love Like Hallelujah (22 page)

It had been days, it had been a lifetime. Vivian was in a place she’d never expected, but in the typical “stiff upper lip” style she learned from her father, and with her broadcast journalism background, she tackled the life-changing event of learning Derrick had a son like a treacherous work assignment.

Derrick had taken one look at Kelvin and felt Vivian was right in believing the boy could be his son. They’d reached Best Buy around eight that evening, Derrick hidden behind dark glasses and a baseball cap. They’d gone to the TV/stereo section but didn’t see him. So they’d browsed around the CDs and DVDs, until Vivian heard his voice coming from the back of the store. She’d nudged Derrick, and he’d looked around to see a younger version of himself. His heart flip-flopped. He didn’t want to admit it, but a part of him instantly knew there was a connection. He’d stared thirty seconds, sixty, and left the store quickly, not wanting the boy to see him.

Once back in the car, Vivian had been emotionless, matter-of-fact. “What do we do?”

“We call Tootie. Ask her point-blank. No need beating around the bush about it. If he’s my son, I need to know. We all need to know.”

Derrick started the car then, and the long drive home. There seemed to be an eternal silence. Then Vivian spoke. “Tell me about it, the history with you two. And how is it that I never knew?”

Derrick told her everything: how Tootie was known for being an easy target in high school, and how several boys had been intimate with her on a regular basis. More importantly, he told her about the night after King had broken things off with Tootie for the last time. How she’d come over to his house, cried on his shoulder. Out of all of them, Tootie had genuinely loved King. She was heartbroken to know it was really over, that he was committed to Tai, and would not sleep with her again.

One thing had led to another and Derrick’s comforting Tootie took on intimate proportions. They’d slept together that night, and again the next morning. Not long after that, Tootie had moved to Los Angeles, and then to Germany. Derrick hadn’t spoken with her since. He’d thought of her infrequently, and of that night, not at all.

Vivian tried to keep from getting upset by constantly reminding herself that this all happened before she came on the scene, before she’d met Derrick. She almost succeeded, but not quite. She wasn’t too happy with Derrick or Tootie at the moment.

For now, however, the situation had to be dealt with. She was sure at some point the full reality would hit her and she’d go off: scream, cry, throw things, curse. But for now she relied on the detachment honed as a former broadcast journalist. Do what needs to be done to get the story and solve the problem.

The next day, she’d told Tai everything, including what she was going to do. Tai called Mama Max and got Miss Smith’s number. Vivian called Miss Smith immediately, introduced herself, told her why she was calling, and asked for Tootie’s number. Just like that.

Miss Smith, knowing this moment was long overdue, had given her the number without question. It was time to put an end to this mystery, this mess. It was time for the truth to come out. She called her daughter and told her what she’d done. Told her someone named Vivian would be calling, and suggested that Tootie “tell that woman everything she needs to know. Enough’s enough.”

And it was. When Vivian called, Tootie was ready. Interestingly enough, the truth had been surprisingly easy. It had gone like this:

“Hello?”

“Tootie, Janeé, this is Vivian Montgomery, Derrick Montgomery’s wife.”

“Yes.”

“Do you know why I’m calling?”

“Yes.”

“Is Kelvin his son?”

“Yes.”

“Kelvin is Derrick’s child?”

“Yes.”

“Would you be willing to have his DNA tested?”

Sigh. “Yes.”

“When can you fly out here? Or we can come to Kansas to meet you. Either way, we need to talk.”

That phone call had occurred the very next day following Vivian and Tai’s trip to Best Buy. All the calls had been made from Tai’s hotel room. Words could not express how invaluable Tai’s presence was. Vivian had never experienced anything like this in her life, but Tai had lived through marital upheavals many times. During these times, Vivian had been her anchor. Now, the favor was being returned.

That was two weeks ago. Today, Vivian and Derrick sat in the lobby of the Hotel Sheraton, waiting for Tootie and Hans to come down. They’d agreed to meet in Los Angeles, since the Petersens had already planned to visit Kelvin before returning to Germany. Vivian still felt detached from the whole situation. It had happened so fast and had been so unexpected; she had still not been able to wrap her brain around the fact that Derrick had a child that was not hers.

As for Derrick, he’d been all about business. They’d talked long into the night after Tootie revealed that Derrick was Kelvin’s father. Vivian had found out things she’d never known about the man she’d loved for so long. He told her all about his high school days, about how Tootie and King and Derrick used to hang out, she acting like one of the boys. How the camaraderie of their middle school years had turned into sexual liaisons in their high school ones. Vivian asked how two good friends could sleep with the same girl, at the same time. Weren’t there feelings of betrayal, trespassing, something? Derrick had looked at her with compassion then. “No, baby,” he’d said. “You know men don’t feel the same emotional bond the way women do. By the time I slept with Tootie, she and King were just casual friends. Yeah, he was still hitting it, but he wasn’t exclusive. And honestly, I didn’t for a second think any big deal about sleeping with Tootie the night King broke up with her. I even told myself I was doing her a favor, making her feel a little better, easing her pain. It just goes to show what the consequences of casual, unprotected sex can be.”

Vivian had asked Derrick how he felt about knowing he was the father of another boy. His answer had been simple. “I’ve always handled my responsibilities, and I won’t stop now.”

They’d decided to wait until they’d talked with Tootie to determine how to proceed as far as the children were concerned. They didn’t even know if Kelvin knew who his father was. Would he want to meet Derrick? Would he want any involvement in their lives? Was he resentful, curious, indifferent? There were a lot of questions that needed to be answered before the next moves were made.

Derrick and Vivian looked up at the same time to see a well-dressed couple walking toward them. Hans looked distinguished, his salt and pepper hair newly cut, sporting a casual jacket and khaki pants. Tootie was dressed casually as well; navy slacks with a paisley printed blouse and sandals. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail. She wore little makeup.

Derrick and Vivian stood as they approached. Both couples were nervous, unsure of each other. Both Hans and Derrick held out their hands at the same time.

“Hi. Derrick Montgomery.”

“Good to meet you. Hans Petersen.”

Derrick nodded at Tootie. “Tootie.”

Tootie’s mouth turned up in a slight smile. “I haven’t been Tootie in over fifteen years. I really prefer Janeé.”

“Alright, Janeé, good to see you’re looking well after all these years.”

“Father Time and I are fighting, but I’m holding my own.”

Vivian held out her hand. “Janeé, I’m Vivian.”

There was a look of sincerity in Janeé’s eyes as she responded, “It is nice to meet you.”

The civil formality helped to relax both couples. They stood awkwardly for a moment, as if both were unsure what to do next. This was the first time Vivian had seen Janeé, but since she’d lived through so much of her past through Tai, it was as if she knew her. Something was moved inside Vivian’s heart as she observed Janeé fidgeting unconsciously with the strap of her purse, trying to look calm in what had to be an extremely uncomfortable situation, for her most of all. Vivian had expected to feel anger, coolness, chagrin, judgment. Instead she felt compassion, and that surprised her.

Janeé tried to look at Derrick without staring. Like King, he’d aged nicely. He still looked good. But unlike what had happened when she saw King, her heart didn’t flutter at the sight of him. Yes, he was attractive. But there were no feelings of longing or vivid memories of shared intimacies.

“Well.” Hans broke the awkward silence. “Should we get some coffee? Or do we want to find a spot in the lounge?”

“There’s a nice patio where we can have a bit of privacy,” Vivian answered. “Maybe we’ll order tea from out there?”

“Sounds perfect,” Hans answered as Vivian and Derrick led the way.

Once seated, their drinks ordered, Janeé followed Hans’s advice. He’d suggested to his wife that the best place to start with this saga was at the beginning. Somehow, since Vivian was basically a stranger, it didn’t feel hard to do.

Janeé began without preamble. “When I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t know what to do. I was as confused as a woman could be about anything in her life. I’d been screwing half the town, seeing a married man, doing drugs, drinking. I didn’t know who the baby’s daddy was, and quite honestly at that time, I didn’t care.

“I knew Mom would be devastated, her ‘good Christian daughter’ having a baby out of wedlock. Even though I was grown, I still felt a responsibility to Mom’s reputation. You know how active she’s been in the church all these years, and you know how folk talk. Hell, they’d been talking about me for years anyway. I could lie about all the screwing, deny it all. And that’s what I did. But it’s not as easy to deny a baby.

“So I ran away. This dude and I went to Los Angeles. I was going to have an abortion but then he said he’d help me raise it. And as much as I detested all the dogma I endured, being forced to go to church as a child, something inside felt better about having the baby than not. So I agreed to keep it.

“The man left me when I was eight months pregnant. Just didn’t come home one night. It wasn’t until the next morning I noticed his stuff was gone. No note, no phone call, no letter, nothing. Just left. And there I was in LA, broke, pregnant, and alone.

“So I hooked up with another guy, this older man, who let me stay with him until I had the baby. But he started trippin’, getting violent, shortly after Kelvin was born. After a couple of knocks upside the head, I knew I had to go. That’s when I auditioned for and got a part in the European tour of Dream-girls. Without thinking of how I’d take care of myself, much less my baby, I caught a plane to Germany.

“For the first couple months, I didn’t know who Kelvin’s daddy was. He looked more like me at first. I really wanted it to be King’s.” Janeé, who’d either been looking down at her hands or away from the table during her historical account, glanced briefly at Vivian. “I’m not proud of what I did, but I was in love with King. And when you’re in love, sometimes you do stupid things. But after a few months I realized it wasn’t King’s baby, it was Derrick’s.”

Janeé looked at Derrick. “I called Mom for your number then, Derrick. I was going to tell you that you had a child. But when I called home, Mom told me you’d just gotten married. And I was right back where I was with King, getting ready to chase a married man. And I just couldn’t do that anymore. I had grown up, and I realized just how uncool it had been to be with King after he got married. That’s when I made the decision to raise Kelvin alone and never tell him or you the truth. After I met Hans, and he adopted Kelvin, I thought I was home free.

“At the time, I did what I had to, to survive. But now I know it wasn’t the best decision, trying to bury the truth.” Janeé looked at Derrick, her eyes filled with tears. Hans grabbed her hand.

“Kelvin’s been asking about you,” Janeé said. “He wants to know his real father.”

She stopped then, unable to go on. A weight of sixteen years had been lifted off her conscience. The relief moved her to tears.

The rest of the table sat quietly, letting Janeé’s story sink in. They all could see the picture she’d painted: a young woman, scared, confused, unsure of what to do, thinking that if the situation was hidden it would go away. Vivian remembered the joy she’d felt at the birth of Derrick Jr., married to the love of her life, her parents and Derrick by her side. How different it had been for Janeé. Suddenly, the woman she’d despised for the pain she’d caused Tai became human, and in the end, more like her and Tai than not. A woman who’d done the best she could at the time.

“There’s not an act outside of God’s forgiveness,” Derrick said, speaking Vivian’s thoughts. “He’s forgiven you, now you have to forgive yourself.”

Janeé looked up but said nothing, as tears flowed anew.

Vivian took her hand. “We’ve all done things we’re not proud of, Janeé. But when we know better, we do better. My mother always said that anything dark looks better with a little light shined on it. Well, now you’ve told the truth, and the truth is the light. I think things are looking a little better for you already.”

Janeé smiled and blew her nose. Vivian was right. She did feel better, lighter, freer than she’d felt in over fifteen years. But she knew she wasn’t finished. Things wouldn’t be totally right until she’d apologized and received forgiveness from another woman, a woman she’d wronged for years. But things hadn’t gone so well when they met. Feelings hardened through years of deceit, denial, and unforgiveness had erupted amid Janeé’s lack of total honesty when Tai had asked about Kelvin. It felt good to make things right with Derrick about his son; she wanted to make things right with Tai as well.

“Do you think Tai would talk to me?” she asked Vivian. “I’ve really treated her unfairly. It was wrong of me. And I want, need, her forgiveness, too.”

Vivian pulled out her cell phone. “Only one way to find out.” She dialed Tai’s number. “Hey, girl.”

“Hey, Viv, how are you? Have you talked to Tootie yet?”

“We’re talking right now. In fact, Janeé asked me if you would speak to her, says she has some things to say that she should have said before. Can you talk to her? Do you have a minute?”

Tai didn’t know whether she was more incredulous or pissed. Had Vivian lost her damn mind? “What does she need to say to me?” she asked defensively.