Love & Light (9 page)

She’s teasing me, and I like that she feels comfortable enough around me to do that. “Hey, it may be arrogant, and one of the cheesiest lines in cinematic history, but there’s some truth to it.” I wrap my arms around her from behind. “Because I feel pretty great right now.”

She leans back, relaxing into my arms. “I do too. The best I’ve felt in a long time.”

~Landon~

A
fter I point out all of the different places you can see from the top of the mountain, we find a quiet place to have our picnic. I spread out the blanket that I brought, then get out the food. “I got some sandwiches from Easton’s Deli by campus,” I say. “There’s a turkey and provolone, and a ham and swiss. Your choice.”

“Hmm. I’ll go with the turkey,” Kori says, and I hand it to her.

“I’ve also got chips, which hopefully aren’t too crushed, and some grapes.” I pull the rest of it out of my pack. “And green tea. I’ve noticed you like to drink that.” It’s not my drink of choice, so I also brought Dr. Pepper.

“Thanks.” She takes the bottle of tea I pass to her. “This is nice. I can’t believe you lugged all of this up here.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Carrying it wasn’t a problem. I did worry about keeping it cold, but I think everything’s okay.” I unwrap the ham sandwich. It still looks good and feels pretty cold.

“I know I said this before, but you really did think of everything. Including my favorite drink.”

I’m glad I got that one right. It pays to be observant. “I called my stepmom last night to get some advice on what to bring. The grapes were her idea. She said her ideal picnic would include grapes. Oh, and a bottle of wine, but I had to skip that,” I say with a laugh.

“Grapes are good, though.” Kori takes one and pops it in her mouth. “I noticed when I met her that you call her ‘mom.’ Doesn’t that feel weird?”

I take a bite of my sandwich as I think about that. “Not really,” I say after a minute. “I didn’t at first. It started about six months after she married my dad, and just kind of happened. I mean, sure, she didn’t give birth to me, but she’s there for me and fills the ‘mom’ role in my life. And I know it means a lot to her.”

“That’s cool, and she seems nice and all,” Kori says. “I just think it’d be weird.”

“But you never know until you find yourself in that situation.” At least she seems a little more comfortable talking about her mom’s absence lately. Or if not comfortable, at least less emotionally distraught about it. It gets draining being sad all the time, which is one reason I wanted to bring Kori here. It’s impossible to be sad when you’re surrounded by so much natural beauty.

“That’s true,” Kori says, and leans back, using her forearms to prop herself up. “I went to the rec center the other day and tried punching the bag again.”

“You should have called me. I would’ve joined you.” I find myself disappointed she didn’t ask me along. “I hope it helped, though.”

“It did, yeah.” She turns to face me. “You’ve helped me a lot.”

“I haven’t done anything,” I demur.

“Don’t say that,” she counters. “Of course you have. You’ve taught me new ways to deal with my hurt and my anger. You’ve made me laugh again. You’ve gotten me outside. You’ve shown me all of this.”

“And I’ve enjoyed all of it,” I say. “I enjoy spending time with you, Kori.”

“Yeah, you seem to.” A tiny hiccup of laughter escapes her throat. “What I don’t get is why. Moody, flaky, emotional wreck like me...”

There she goes again, putting herself down. Someone or several someones have made her doubt herself, and I wonder if it’s only that jerk she dated in high school, or other people. “That’s not what I see when I look at you. I see that you’re troubled and hurting, yes. But I also see someone smart and nice who’s trying hard to get past the hurt,” I say. “And I also happen to think you’re really pretty.” Then, without thinking long enough to second guess the move, I lean over and kiss her.

~Kori~

The kiss catches me off guard. Sure, we’ve had a good time today, and there’s something about a picnic lunch on the top of a mountain overlooking all of the natural beauty of New England that’s pretty romantic, but I don’t expect the kiss. Maybe I’m still having a hard time believing someone like Landon is truly interested in someone like me.

His lips are on mine, though, and they’re soft and sweet and I find myself responding. The only other guy I’ve kissed before is Remy, and even though we never went all the way, we got pretty close a few times. I thought Remy was a good kisser, but I didn’t have anything to base it on, and I quickly decide Landon’s better. As his tongue begins an exploration with mine, I let my body relax and enjoy the pleasure of it because it feels good to
feel
something again.

It’s Landon who breaks the kiss. “Sorry,” he mutters, sounding out of breath.

I’m having a hard time catching my own breath. “Why are you sorry?” I ask. “Unless you didn’t want—”

“Of course I wanted to,” he interrupts. “I didn’t want to stop.”

“So why did you?” After all, I wasn’t exactly fighting him off.

“Because I don’t want to rush anything,” he says. “I don’t want you to think I’m that kind of guy.”

“What kind of guy is that?” I ask as I cock my head to the side. I sure am full of questions all of the sudden.

“Some horny guy who only wants to get in your pants.” He rubs his hands on his jeans and faces me. “I was serious when I said I wanted to get to know you. Spend time with you. I don’t sleep around, Kori.”

I bite my bottom lip. “So Amanda was—”

“A mistake,” Landon says quickly. “The first, the only, girl I slept with, and it’s because she was hot and she wanted me and I wanted to see what it was all about.”

“Completely natural and understandable,” I say. I don’t think much of Amanda, but I decide I’m not going to judge him on that.

“Have you?” he asks. “I mean...”

His voice trails off, but I know exactly what he’s asking, and I wonder how, exactly, this conversation turned to one of our sexual history. It did, though, and he’s been open with me, so I owe him the same. “No,” I say. “Close, but not quite.” I don’t offer details, and I hope he doesn’t ask.

He nods. “Okay.” He looks a little embarrassed, like he’s not sure how we got into this discussion either. “Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I’m not... I don’t want to rush anything. I’m not just looking to get laid.”

“I didn’t think you were.” I reach out and take his hand. “I never thought that about you, Landon. I’ve told you before. You’re sweet.”

“There’s that word again.” He rolls his eyes, like he’s frustrated by it or something, but I notice he’s smiling too.

“It’s a good word,” I say. “And it’s a good thing. It’s okay to be sweet. I like sweet.”

“If you say so...” He takes a breath and changes the subject. “What do you say we finish this picnic, then head back down the mountain? There’s some stuff I want to show you on the way down.”

~Kori~

I
see why Landon wanted to leave so early this morning. Hiking Mount Monadnock is definitely a full-day adventure. We take our time heading back down the mountain, stopping to take some pictures and even going off the main trail for a bit to check out the falcon spring, which leads to a kiss and a selfie in front of the spring.

I laugh as Landon holds out his phone to show me. “If that ends up on Facebook, I might have to hurt you,” I jokingly threaten. Something unusual occurs to me as I look at the picture, though. The girl in it looks different than the one I’m used to seeing in the mirror. She looks happy. She looks like she’s having a good time. She looks like she enjoys life.

“I wouldn’t do that,” Landon promises, and I believe him. He does tap at his phone display though, and a second later my own phone chimes. “There. I just sent it to you.”

I pull my phone out of my jacket pocket, and sure enough, he texted the picture to me. “Thank you.”

“Just in case you’re feeling down sometime, you might want to remember this moment,” he says, as if reading my earlier thoughts.

“Thanks,” I say again, but resist the urge to say it’s sweet of him because I know he’s not crazy about that word.

I’m tired by the time we get back to his car and toss our stuff in the back seat, but it’s a good kind of tired. It’s been a full day of adventure, but I’ve enjoyed all of it and never thought once about missing my mom, or any of the other sort of negative thoughts I sometimes get bogged down with.

“When I planned out this day, I thought we’d go to a sit-down restaurant around here for a nice dinner,” Landon says. “And I’m still totally down with that if you are. Or we can just grab something to go and drive back to Plymouth, since it will take a couple hours.”

I glance at the time on my phone, surprised that it’s already past six. “Would you be terribly offended if I said to go?”

He shakes his head. “Not at all. It’s probably best, given the time. Besides, we’ll have other opportunities to have a nice dinner together, right?”

He’s talking as if he wants to see me again, and it doesn’t scare me, because I want to see him again too. “I’m counting on it,” I say as I get in the car.

We stop for fast food hamburgers and milkshakes before getting back on the road and eat as we drive back through Jaffrey and Peterborough. It’s hard to believe I’ve spent my whole life in New Hampshire and never visited this region before. It’s not like it’s a very big state, but when my family went on trips, it was usually to Massachusetts or out west where my aunt lives. I’m glad I got to see this today and to experience it with Landon.

“There are some CDs in the glove box, if you want to find something to listen to,” he suggests. “And yes, I still buy CDs. They’re the only thing I can listen to in here.”

“I like CDs too, so I have the jackets with pictures and lyrics.” I open the glove box and pull a few out, curious to see what kind of music he likes. As I flip through them, I discover we have similar taste, and I’m thrilled to discover my favorite band in his collection. “You like A New Horizon too?” They’re a New Hampshire indie rock back who got their start playing in clubs around the Dartmouth campus and got signed by a major label a couple years ago and just hit platinum with their debut album.

“Sure. Who doesn’t?” Landon glances my way. “Open that one.”

I do as he asks and my eyes grow wide when I see the inside jacket. It’s autographed by the lead singer. “Chase Radcliffe signed this?” I’m seriously jealous right now.  “Did you meet him or something?”

“Not personally, no. Chase’s cousin Colin is a doctor in Concord, and he’s married to a former client of my stepmother’s,” Landon says, chuckling. “How’s that for complicated? Anyway, that’s how I snagged an autographed copy.”

“It’s still cool,” I say, and slide the CD into his car’s stereo. “Chase is hot.”

“Gee, thanks,” Landon says, feigning offense.

“Oh, don’t pout,” I tease. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

The opening chord of the CD’s first song, Blue Skies and Melancholy, sounds over the speakers and I lean back in my seat to listen to it, getting lost in lyrics that seem like they were written about me.

~Landon~

I wish I could have told Kori that I knew the band’s lead singer personally, but she still seems impressed that I have a signed copy of the CD. We listen to the first few songs in silence, then my personal favorite, Hanover Haze, comes on and I can’t help it. I start to sing along with it.

When Kori doesn’t even tease me for my off-key singing voice, I glance her way and realize she’s dozed off.
Nice going, Grayson. You’re such a great date that you lulled her to sleep.
I don’t wake her, though. It has been a long day, and we did hike probably close to five miles.

I stop singing along, though, and turn the volume down a little bit. Not all the way, because I want the music to help me stay awake for the rest of the drive, especially since it’s getting dark.

A New Horizon has been back touring various college bars in and around New Hampshire lately and tickets are almost impossible to get. I wonder if I might be able to use my very tenuous link to the band and try to get some and take Kori to hear them, since she seems to be a big fan. And she did say she wanted to see me again, even if not in those exact words.

She doesn’t stir until I pull up in front of her dorm. “Wake up, sleepyhead.”

She stretches and looks embarrassed. “I can’t believe I fell asleep. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Riding in a car always makes me tired too, and we put in some good exercise today,” I say. “Besides, you didn’t miss anything. Well, other than me singing off-key, that is.”

Kori laughs. “I
am
sorry I missed that,” she teases. “Thank you. I had a great time today.”

“Me too. Want to meet for breakfast tomorrow?”

She hesitates, her hand on the door handle. “I like to eat alone.”

I’m not surprised. “That doesn’t mean you can’t eat with me tomorrow,” I counter. “What do you say?”

“Okay. Not too early, though.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m not getting up at the crack of dawn
both
days of the weekend,” I say with a laugh. “How about nine thirty?”

“That works. Meet you at the dining hall?’

“Sure,” I say. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Kori.” I’m already looking forward to it.

I make sure she gets inside okay, then go park my car in the student lot not far from the residence halls and make the walk back to my own dorm.

As I let myself in my room, Lucas pulls his earbuds out and sit up in his bed. “Hey, buddy. How’d the date go?”

I set the backpack and picnic blanket on the edge of my bed and sit down. “Really, really good.” I reach down to untie my shoes. Kori’s not the only who’s tired. I know I’ll sleep well tonight, and probably dream about her and those kisses.

“Yeah?” My roommate arches an eyebrow up. “You planning to see her again?”

“Tomorrow morning for breakfast.” I kick off my shoes and lay back on my bed. “And I’m already planning something else pretty big.”

Lucas laughs. “Dude, you’re falling already.”