Love Life & Circumstance (23 page)

By the time the doctor had advised Elijah of all of the things he needed to watch for and take care of, he felt as if the rug had been pulled out from under his feet. He was dizzy, scared and felt totally incompetent. Noticing Elijah’s absent expression, Hope’s pediatrician had assured Elijah that Maine had great health care facilities where Hope’s records could be transferred and her progress and tests taken care of after their move. After leaving Elijah with a barrage of leaflets, and information to read through, the doctor had left Elijah alone with Hope.

A small mewl escaped her lips and grew into a full on wail. Tears filled Elijah’s eyes. How could something so small be so loud? “Hey little princess, what’s eatin’ ya, huh? Tell ya daddy what it is.” Eli cooed as he gently stroked her back. “Nothing wrong with your lungs is there precious.” He chuckled just as the nurse came in with Hope’s formula. He grinned, loving the sound of her cry as she snuffled and opened her tiny little mouth in readiness to be fed.

The sight of Seth in the doorway wearing the heart stopping smile that stole Eli’s heart brought a small but sad smile to Eli’s face. “Sorry princess, but I think it’s Uncle Seth’s turn to feed you.” Elijah’s smile widened somewhat as he passed over Hope and stole a kiss for himself. Seth looked unsure, and Elijah took great delight in guiding him in the same way the nurse had shown him. As Hope fed, Elijah stroked his hand over Seth’s arm, soothing himself with the feel of Seth’s skin as he ran through everything the pediatrician had said.

“Seth, I need to tell you something. You should sit, it’s not pretty.” Seth’s entire body went rigid and fear crept into those beautiful chocolate brown eyes. Elijah kissed him again; he couldn’t stand that look and knew it was going to get worse instead of better. When Seth sat gingerly on the edge of the rocking chair his gaze locked on Elijah, he squatted and slid his arm along Seth’s thigh. As matter of factly as he could, he repeated what the pediatrician had told him earlier. When he finished, Seth sat trembling as emotions played across his handsome face.

“I’m sorry, I know this must hurt. She was your sister, but the damage she may have caused Hope long term is something we need to prepare for. I know it’s a lot to take in, and a lot of the issues might not even occur.” Elijah rubbed his hand along Seth’s thigh, trying to soothe him. “Hope’s strong and she’s a fighter. Plus, she has us; we’ll make sure she has everything she needs. We’ll know more as she grows, but we need to prepare for the fact that some premature babies born to parents that use drugs and drink do have difficulties. Some with their hearing or sight while others suffer from poor lung function, but after the little diva fit she threw earlier, I don’t think there’s much to worry on there.”

He drew in air, hating the look of despair on Seth’s face. But, the truth had to be faced. Even though the odds were stacked against them, Hope was alive, and if the fight she’d given to survive was anything to go by, their little girl wasn’t ready to give up yet. And, neither were they. “We’ll talk about it later, ok?” Elijah asked as Seth gently burped Hope, and then placed the sleeping bundle into her crib. They stood there together in silence, watching helpless as their only surviving family member slept, unaware of what the future held in store for her.

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Moonlight filtered through the trees surrounding Elijah’s home and cast dappled flecks of silvery light across the hard wooden porch where the remnants of their evening meal lay cold and hardly touched. The mantle of gloom regarding Hope’s future weighed down on each of them as Elijah led Seth to the oversized hammock suspended on the porch at the back of the house. The moon hung heavy and full before them as Eli wrapped his arm around Seth and brought him down toward him. Seth obliged and Eli was comforted by the feel of Seth against him; just having all of that lean, taut flesh pressed to him felt so right. Elijah thought they were a perfect fit for each other in and out of bed.

His fingers played through the strands of Seth’s hair as they lay wrapped in each other’s arms, their legs entwined, sealing their bodies against each other. Both were unwilling to move or let go. Seth’s head rested on his chest right above the spot where Elijah’s heart threatened to tear apart at the seams from the immensity of his love for the striking man. Placing a kiss on top of Seth’s head, he hoped to break the other man from his worrisome train of thoughts. Eyes sad and fraught with concern for their darling little girl looked up at him, and Elijah wanted nothing more than to protect Seth, wrap him in his arms and keep him safe from hurt and pain. But, however much he wanted to; common sense told Elijah that their future together as Hope’s family had to be faced. Decisions would have to be made if the painful truth of Bethany’s drinking and drug abuse had indeed affected Hope.

“I know how worried you are, but we have to have faith. Our little girl’s a fighter. She’s already come so far. I couldn’t believe it when the doctor told me how surprised he was that she’d survived. It’s a lot to take in I know, but between us, I’m sure as hell that our little girl’s gunna do mighty damn fine.” Elijah stated, keeping his voice firm. He wanted to be brave, give Seth the support he needed to get through the next few months.

“I’m scared Eli, what if…” Elijah refused to let Seth voice his next few words. He placed a finger to the swell of Seth’s lips to hush the words neither of them wanted to hear.

“Shhh, it’s ok. As long as we’re together, we can do this. Hope will want for nothing. Neither of us is short on cash. We’ll get her the best care we can, get every test there is, and make every effort known to God or man. Hope’s going to grow up happy, loved and content, whatever the tests say, ok. Let’s just roll with the flow and take it one step at a time. I’m here Seth, for you and Hope, no matter how hard things get. You have to remember that I love you. I want to be with you and be Hope’s family. So what ya say? You in for the long haul, or do you need more time? It’s ok if you do, I…” This time it was Seth’s turn to silence the words between them. Only instead of his fingers, Seth hushed Eli with a brush of his lips that soon turned into a hot passion fuelled kiss, encompassing their teeth and tongues. It left both of them panting and wantonly hard.

Elijah moaned, his body humming with the need to touch and explore every inch of Seth’s flesh. It warred with his mind’s desire to be calm and relax, to hold Seth in his arms and show him the gentler side of Elijah’s more sentimental persona. He eased Seth toward him so they lay face-to-face. The man’s huge brown eyes drew Eli in closer. He kissed tentatively over the lids and worked his way around Seth’s face until their lips met again. This time, he kept the kiss long but sweet and purred hungrily into Seth’s mouth.

“Love you,” he murmured, cupping Seth’s jaw. “I don’t want to be in Maine without you. Please say you’ll think it through.” Elijah quietly pleaded.

“Nothing to think about,” Seth voiced as his hand sneaked under Eli’s shirt. “There’s no way in hell you’re leaving me here while you and Hope have all the fun.” Seth teased, as his fingers stroked through the downy mat of hair covering Elijah’s chest. He moaned at the taut buds of flesh rising to greet him, and Elijah sighed deeply closing his eyes.

“You keep that up, Jacobs, and I’ll be tipping us onto the floor and havin’ my way with you right here on this porch. Jesus, you have no clue what you do to me,” he growled and ground the hard length of his cock against Seth’s thigh. “I’m trying to show you my more compassionate side, but you’re making it hard.” Elijah moaned as Seth edged his thigh in between Eli’s legs, and then bit down on the fleshy lobe of his ear. “Fuck Seth…I’m trying to be good,” he growled as his hips bucked. His hands slid down the fine ridges of muscle lining Seth’s spine, and then travelled further over the mounds of his ass to cup the clenched globes and draw Seth in closer.

“Plenty of time for you to play at being good when we set up house in Maine. Better be making the best of what time we have before all those night time feeds and dirty diapers tire you out.” Seth quirked a brow as his hand slipped between them and squeezed the prominent swell of Eli’s cock.

“Oh fuck yeah. Damn it, Jacobs, you win.” In one fell swoop, Elijah rolled them off the hammock, swung a laughing Seth over his shoulder and marched inside with Seth teasingly beating the cheeks of his ass. He’d tried to be good, but Seth’s insistence coupled with the need to be buried balls deep inside the sensual heat of this man that had stolen his heart far outweighed Eli’s ability with patience. Whether Seth was aware of it or not, Elijah couldn’t say, but his heart was lost; lost and beholden to Seth. And, the thought of a lifetime loving this wonderfully talented and sensual man balanced out all the wrongs in their world.

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CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

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“Yes, thank you. I’m sorry for the trouble.” Seth propped the phone against his shoulder as he listened to the voice on the other end. “That’s great, and the listing will go up tomorrow?” He nodded sporting a grin the caller couldn’t see. “Fantastic.  You have a great day as well. Bye.”

After punching the button to end the call, Seth hit send on the waiting email and swiveled his chair around away from his desk. Fear and excitement churned in his stomach, but optimism filled his chest. He was doing the right thing; he just hoped Elijah would understand. The soft scrabble of paws across hardwood announced Rocky’s presence moments before he ambled through the office door.

“Is it time for a walk?” A loud woof made Seth laugh, and he pushed up to get the leash. On the way out the door, he grabbed a well chewed tennis ball for a bit of play after their trek through the sparse wooded area behind the house.

He was just entering the tree line when he remembered he’d left his phone on the desk. With a shrug, he decided to leave it and just enjoy nature. Hope was doing great and Elijah had gone to a help on a site short on labor. Kris had disappeared God knew where with Rhett, leaving Seth to his work which was all done as of ten minutes ago.

Surrounded by tall trees, Seth inhaled deeply of the pine and honeysuckle scented air. Squirrels raced through the treetops chattering angrily down at Rocky who barked and danced at the end of his leash. Taking pity on the excited dog, Seth released the catch. Rocky took off like a flash leaving Seth to his thoughts.

In the three weeks since the pediatrician had given them the frightening statistics of preemies born to addicted mothers, Seth had struggled with guilt and anger. Could he have done more to stop Bethany’s use? Had he turned a blind eye on what she was doing? What the hell had she been thinking? He’d taken her to all of her doctor’s appointments. The walls of the OB/GYN had been lined with information and posters detailing the horrors of drugs and alcohol use on an unborn babe. Pamphlets and leaflets were stuffed in a file folder in Bethany’s room.

They’d fought many nights over her careless behavior, but despite her promises to change, she’d never done it. If Pastor Deacon had told Elijah, would things have been different? Could Eli have stopped her from spiraling so far out of control? At the thought of his lover, a smile spread slowly across Seth’s face, and the ache in his heart eased somewhat. Although struggling with his own fear and anger, Elijah had been supportive, giving Seth a foundation in a world whirling out of control.

They’d talked a lot in two weeks. The story behind Hope’s conception still astounded him. Rhett had cajoled Elijah into going to Club Imagination, the gay club downtown. Catering to the straight and gay community, there was little danger of the men’s sexuality being exposed. After a few drinks, Eli had joined Rhett on the dance floor and walked into Bethany’s radar. She’d been relentless in her pursuit and Eli hadn’t been in the frame of mind to refuse. It was the morning after when Eli realized he hadn’t used a condom. Bethany had waved him off, assuring him it wasn’t the right time of the month.  He hadn’t heard anything and had almost forgotten the encounter, until the night of the visitation.

Guilt weighed heavy again. While his sister lay cold in the morgue, while his newborn niece struggled to live, love had strode into his life the night of the wreck despite the grisly circumstances and the deaths of two beloved people. Why Elijah didn’t hate him, Seth couldn’t understand. Bethany was solely responsible for his father’s death. Bethany had defiantly used drugs and drank during her pregnancy, putting his unborn daughter at risk. Yet, Elijah set aside the anger and blame to love Seth. The man’s compassion, his ability to forgive, and the strength of his love astounded Seth.

Rocky barked derailing Seth’s ride down the river of regret where Bethany was concerned. He glanced around to see his dog digging frantically at the base of a tree.

“You find a rabbit, Rock?” Of course, the dog didn’t answer, and Seth strolled on past him, turning his face up to the bits of sunshine that bled through the trees and leaves.  His thoughts returned to Elijah as they invariably did when he was alone. They’d talked about good times too. Bethany when she was younger, Eli’s parents and growing up in the church, their friendships and relationships with Kris and Rhett, their college days…there wasn’t much they hadn’t touched on.  Seth knew Elijah was the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. His heart thumped against his ribs. Though he’d agreed to move to Maine, he still hadn’t given Elijah a final answer to his marriage proposal, but there wasn’t any doubt in Seth’s mind. He knew his answer would be yes. Whistling for Rocky, he turned back toward home.

Twenty minutes later, after a rousing game of fetch, Seth stumbled into the house laughing as Rocky darted into the kitchen and headed straight for the water bowl. Seth wasn’t far behind and snagged a bottle of water from the fridge. Half of the contents disappeared with one turn up.

“Damn that’s good. Nothing better than cold water on a hot day, hey Rock.” He chuckled when the lab ignored him. “So, a shower and then a trip to see Hope. You’ll love her, my friend. She’s a sweetheart.” In response, Rocky padded into the living room and flopped down on the floor, head on paws. “Glad to see your excitement, buddy.” Heading for the bathroom, Seth paused when he heard his phone chirp. He changed course and walked to the office where the phone lay on the desk.