Love Is the Drug (26 page)

“You’re not alone, you know. You have me and my dad. We’re your family now.”

In spite of the miserable ache in her chest, her heart warmed when he said that. She nodded. How had he known what she’d been thinking?

“Marry me, Julie.”

Julie squeezed her eyes shut and bit down so hard on her lip, she tasted blood. She looked over at Gabe, then at the blackened remains of her childhood home, and finally up at the only man she’d ever loved.

“Okay,” she said.

* * *

It was crowding one o’clock in the morning by the time Jason carried Julie into their motel room, with Pookie in her arms inside a cardboard box they’d gotten at the Quiq-Mart a few minutes ago.

“I should give her a bath,” Julie said as Jason set her on her feet, then placed the box down next to the dresser. She wanted a shower herself. But, good lord, she was bone weary.

Jason put his arms around her and said, “I’ll run a bath for you, if you’d like, but I think the cat’s bath can wait until the morning, don’t you?”

Julie wanted nothing more than to collapse against Jason’s chest. But if she did, she was afraid—even as tired as she was—that she would beg him to make love to her.

And she wasn’t ready for that. Not near ready.

Because all the way here, her conscience had been chiding her. Telling her that she’d just made a very big mistake—again—where Jason was concerned. That she’d opted for what was easiest now, instead of what was best for her future.

“I’ll take care of you, Julie. I won’t ever leave you.”

Her heart melted into a big, red love-puddle. The tears started again, too. “Okay, you can run my bath.”

* * *

Nora Lee’s duplex apartment was not far from the bungalow Jason had rented when he’d first arrived in Buffalo Pass last July.

Julie had been so shaken up the night before that he just hadn’t felt right leaving her once he’d gotten her settled at the one-and-only motel for miles, located just off the interstate between here and the next Podunk town.

And, anyway, it was better this way. Because now his dad and Julie were with him; two people, he had little doubt, Luke would be wanting to see.

Jason pulled up in front of the seventies style duplex and cut the engine. “This is it.”

“She’s in 701 B, right?” Julie asked.

Jason looked at his scribbled note. “Yeah. 701 B.”

Gabe patted Jason’s shoulder. “That boy’s probably still shook up and feeling as low as a snake for setting that fire.”

Jason nodded. “I know, Dad.” He glanced at Julie, then took hold of her hand. “Julie and I aren’t here to lecture him.”

“I didn’t figure you were.” Gabe settled his other hand on Julie’s shoulder. “It’s a brave thing you’re doing, little gal, coming to cheer someone else up after such a devastating experience. I’m real humbled by it.”

Julie’s smile was a little wobbly. “I don’t feel brave.”

Gabe kissed his fingers and settled them on her cheek. “Well, you are.” Then he reached over and opened his door. “Let’s get to it, then.”

* * *

Luke scrubbed the side of his finger hard against his eyelid and put Godzilla back in his terrarium. He had it next to him on the floor in front of the T.V. His mom said, just this once, he could do that, but then it had to go back in his bedroom and stay there.

His mom was bein’ super nice to him—even letting him watch both
Bindi the Jungle Girl
shows instead of cleanin’ his room, like she usually did. He sighed. Bindi looked like she was havin’ a real good time. She probly never did anything as bad as he’d done.

He jumped when the doorbell rang. It was Mike come over to yell at him for burning down Julie’s house.

His heart started pounding again and his tummy felt icky. He stood up and waited. He tried not to start cryin’ again, but he just couldn’t help it. Mike would probly be mad at him for that, too.

“He’s in here watching T.V. Would ya’ll like some coffee?”

It was Julie, though, not Mike, who walked into the room. “I would
love
some,” she said over her shoulder to his mom. Then she turned to look at him. “Luke! I’m so glad you’re alright,” she said, and before Luke knew it, she’d swept him up in a real tight hug.

“I’m sorry, Julie! I didn’t mean to do it, I swear!” He squeezed her back as hard as he could, he didn’t even care that it made his burned arm sting.

He really started bawlin’ then.

* * *

Jason took Julie and his dad to Vegas later that day. They’d spent the better part of the morning with Luke, just trying to make the poor little guy feel better. He had a minor burn on his arm, but nothing dangerous. He’d heal quickly and without scarring. Considering the amount of damage to Julie’s property, Jason felt fortunate that neither his dad nor Luke had been permanently maimed—or worse.

The kid was under a serious gray funk, though.

But Julie, being Julie, wouldn’t allow Luke to keep his guilt for long. She’d told him that Jason was going to build her an even better house—which, of course, he was—and that she was just so glad he hadn’t been hurt. In fact, by the time they’d left, the boy was smiling again and saying he couldn’t wait to get back to school and tell all his new classmates about seeing the fire engines and the firemen with their hoses spewing foam.

It was one of the many things Jason admired—loved—about Julie. She was just so good.

Nothing like him.

He settled himself more comfortably in the airline seat and then took hold of her hand. It pleased him more than he could ever express to feel that pink-diamond ring biting into his palm. “Wanna drink?”

She gave him a nervous smile. “That sounds familiar.” And then: “Yes, I would, actually.”

Jason flagged the flight attendant down and made their order. Then he settled back again with his head resting against the back of the seat. “Yep. This is exactly what we needed. A little R&R.” He darted a look across the aisle at his dad—he’d dozed off with the inflight magazine in his hands—and then turned his gaze back on her. “Hey—do you want to shop for wedding dresses while we’re there? I think I’d actually get a kick out of it.” His grin turned evil. “Maybe we should take my dad with us, too. What do you think?”

Julie ran her tongue across her bottom lip and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Yeah, sure. Okay.”

Jason could tell she was having second thoughts about the marriage thing—probably because of the whole kid issue—but he was convinced that once they were married he could make her forget about that. Hell, they’d probably be having so much fun she wouldn’t even have time to pine away for the farmhouse and that other stuff.

That’s why, he’d already decided, as soon as he could arrange it, he and Julie were going to get married in Vegas.

And they could still have that big wedding ceremony later, just as they’d already started planning.

But first, he was going to get her sworn promise at one of the many alters there in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Hell, maybe he’d make her say her vows to him at all of them. That way, they’d be good and cemented into her mind before they ever went back to BP.

* * *

Jason booked the same suite he and Julie had shared the last time they were here. It seemed fitting somehow—only this time, he was damned sure going to make good use of that bed—and not just for sleeping.

He wandered out of the bathroom after his shower, scrubbing the towel through his wet hair. “Hey Julie. What do you think of—” He stopped short. “What the bloody hell is that?” But he knew what it was—what he really wanted to know was
why the hell it was here.

She was seated in the chair near the window reading a magazine. She lifted her gaze first to his and then followed it to the top of the dresser. “It’s Corporal William Dillon. His mother gave it to me.” She looked at him then. “I’ve got his Purple Heart, too. Do you want to see it?”

“No, I do not want to see it.” He strode over to the dresser and swiped up the photograph. He hauled his arm back to throw it against the nearest wall.

“NO!” Julie threw herself at him and grabbed the thing. She had to use both hands to get it free of his fist, but she managed it only because her squirming body and freshly-washed skin made his brain and body turn to primordial mush.

She turned away and walked toward the window. Her eyes settled on the picture. “You know what she said, Jason? That she was glad you were alive in the world.” Julie turned her gaze to him. “And so am I. You know—have you ever thought that—if it weren’t for this person right here”—she held up the photo for him to see it—“you would never have been born.”

“
I don’t have to listen to this—I’m out of here.” He grabbed the clothes he’d tossed on the end of the bed earlier and tucked his shoes under his arms. He slammed the door to the bedroom on his way out.

* * *

Julie collapsed onto the chair.
Well, what did you expect?
It was probably close to time for her to accept defeat. Maybe it was even past time.

But she loved him so much. And, okay, she was selfish, too. She wanted a baby. Specifically, she wanted a baby with him.

And if she hadn’t seen the way he lit up when he saw Luke this morning, how much he’d calmed the boy and lessened his anxiety about what he’d accidently done, she would not be pressuring him now. Because, in that moment, she knew the truth: He wants kids as badly as she does.

But he was bound and determined never to have them. Even if it cost him their relationship. And that did hurt.

But she was still going to marry him. Even if he never could let go of his hatred for Will Dillon enough to give her children. And not just because of her agreement to do so during that moment of emotional devastation, either.

No, it was because of the way he’d been there for her the past couple of days, the way he’d shown her in a very real way that he cared very deeply for her—well, it had made her re-evaluate.

Yes, it was a painful thing, this giving up a dream. And, lord knew, she had moments of serious vacillation.

But he was her mate, and he was her family.

They were meant.

* * *

Jason was just about to take his second swig of hot coffee when Gabe sat down across from him at the table he’d chosen against the wall of the coffee shop. “What’re you doing here—I thought you and Julie had plans for this evening.”

“
The plans have changed.” He was still feeling shaky as hell. What she’d said to him—what she’d told him the old lady had said—well, it was as if his world had spun off its axis. Again.

And he had only just begun to feel like he was getting control from the last time.

“Did you have a fight?”

He shook his head. “Not exactly, no.”

“What happened, then? I can tell something did. Tell me.”

“She…” He crossed his arms and leaned on the tabletop. “She’s in possession of—God, I still can’t believe it!”

“What? What’s she got?”

“A picture of that rapist.”

Gabe sat back. He nodded his head. “Oh.”

“You don’t care? You don’t care that Julie’s betrayed you and me? It means nothing to you?”

“It’s no betrayal, Jason. If anything it’s one of the most profound proofs of loyalty I’ve ever heard of.”

Jason bristled. “Really, and how do you come by that piece of logic?”

“Because she’s not giving up on you. She’s trying to force you to see reason.” Gabe sat forward again and placed his hand on Jason’s arm. “Look, I know we haven’t spoken about your meeting your grandmother—”

“She’s
not
my grandmother!”

“Okay. Mrs. Dillon, then. Well, in any case, I’d hoped that once you met the woman, learned Will’s history, saw for yourself that the boy wasn’t a waste of space—that he was actually a pretty good kid who went down a very wrong path before he turned himself back around—well, I’d hoped that you’d finally find some peace about the whole thing.”

Jason jerked away from him and sat back. He couldn’t get enough air in his lungs. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this from you! How do you think
your wife
would feel if she knew you were consorting with the mother of her
rapist
? That you thought he was a—God! How’d you phrase it?—
‘pretty good kid’
?”

Gabe didn’t say anything. His eyes studied Jason’s face for a long moment. Then he blinked and said, “I’ve thought about that a lot, actually. And the answer is: I just don’t know. But I do know that she wanted grandchildren. It was one of the last things we spoke of before she slipped away from me, the fact that she wasn’t going to be around to see them.”

Jason’s throat closed up. He gritted his teeth against the moisture that threatened in his eyes.

“
Jason, she would not want you to do this to yourself.” Gabe rested his forearms on the table and twined his fingers together. He looked down at his clasped hands and cleared his throat. “About the other. Your mother—she was one of the kindest, most giving, open-hearted people I’ve ever met. And I think that if she’d ever had the courage to tell me what happened, that if I’d been able to find that kid, she would have recognized how badly he felt about what he’d done and, I think, maybe…it’s possible she would have forgiven him.”