Love Is Patient and A Heart's Refuge (8 page)

Lisa didn’t think the comment required a response, and Dylan was paging through the newspaper, patently ignoring his little sister.

“I’m going to get ready,” Lisa said.

Amber frowned up at Lisa. “Ready for what?”

“I’m coming to church with you and your family. If that’s okay.”

Amber scratched her cheek with her forefinger, looking disheartened. “Yeah. I guess.”

“If it’s a problem…”

“No, that’s not it. It was just that Erika and I…” She flipped her hand Lisa’s way. “Never mind.”

“It’s just you had plans?” Dylan asked without looking up. “Inviting someone to come along, perhaps?”

Amber’s blush verified Dylan’s comment, and Lisa stifled a laugh. A person had to give the girls marks for persistence.

“I’ll be ready in a while, Dylan,” Lisa said, her hand brushing his shoulder in a subtle proprietary motion. A silent signal to Amber.

Now Dylan looked up. Then he smiled as he realized what she was doing. “I’ll be waiting,” he said, catching her hand. He squeezed it, and when Lisa tried to pull it back he held it for just a split second longer, then let her go.

Lisa felt her cheeks grow warm, and she regretted her
impulse. But by the time she was back in her room, her heartbeat had returned to normal.

She pulled out a cheerfully embroidered peasant blouse and a denim skirt, hoping they were suitable for church. Neither her mother nor Rick had fussed much about clothes when they’d attended, but had emphasized respect and modesty in their choice of clothing.

As Lisa styled her hair, she thought of those Sunday mornings. Remembered the gentle chaos of getting four people to one place at the same time, neatly dressed and clean. Then the church service and the feeling of reverence and awe blended with the presence of God’s love that came from worshiping with fellow believers.

It was a wonderful time of her life. Something she wanted for herself and her children.

Something that Dylan’s family had.

Cued by the minister, Dylan and the rest of the congregation sat down. As Dylan sat, he took another quick glance at Lisa, who was still clutching the hymnal they had just sung from. Her head was bent and her hair, worn loose this morning, hid her face. She seemed to be intently reading from the hymnal.

When she had told him this morning that she wanted to go to church, he couldn’t have been more surprised than if she had asked to go to a bar. Granted, he didn’t know her that well, but he’d assumed that church and faith were not important to her.

They weren’t important to him, either. As he had told Lisa, it wasn’t anything big and dramatic that had caused his slide away from faith and church. Moving
to Toronto, away from his family, had been the first step. Working six days a week to prove himself had been the second. Sunday had been his only day off, and he’d started resenting getting up early to go to church. He’d begun to date girls who had nothing to do with church and zero interest in matters of faith. And slowly his church attendance had eased off to nothing.

He used to feel guilty on the Sunday mornings he was up early for the occasional meeting or a flight out of town, but that had passed, as well.

It was sad how easy it had been to drift away, he thought. Now that he was here, he was sorry he had cut out this part of his life.

Dylan pulled the Bible out of the rack and turned to the passage announced by the minister.

“’How lovely is Your dwelling place, O Lord almighty. Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere.’”

To his surprise, Dylan felt a throb of guilt, edged with sorrow. He had missed all this, he thought, following the words with his index finger as the minister read them. The words drew back old memories—of happier times when he and his brother were friends, not enemies. When they were both unaware of the words
favoritism, injustice.
When they weren’t in competition for their father’s affection.

Dylan read on, allowing the words to gently dislodge memories of better times.

And how could they go back to that?

He was quitting the company to strike out on his own. Under Ted’s guidance the company that his father
had started and was hoping to ease away from was starting to unravel.

And he and his father and his brother spoke to each other only when necessary.

He closed the Bible before the minister finished reading and slipped it back in the holder with a hollow
thunk.
He didn’t want to read about family unity and respect anymore. Right now he didn’t have a lot of respect for his father and his lack of backbone. And his frustration with his brother hardly promoted family unity.

He was actually thankful to his father right now for asking him to come and help figure out what had happened to the company. Up until now he’d been still having second thoughts about leaving Matheson Telecom.

He didn’t anymore.

But even as resentment sifted through him, he couldn’t help but listen to the minister’s words. He spoke of the yearning God had to be closer to His people. How God wanted us to be yearning for Him. In spite of his resistance, Dylan felt the words push against the walls of anger and bitterness he had erected against his father and brother. He felt as if he hardly dared let God’s love breach that. Because then what reason would he have to keep going down the road he had taken?

When the minister announced the song after the sermon, he was still thinking, wondering.

Lisa pulled the hymnal out of the rack and opened it up. As the organ played a short introduction to the song,
she lowered her head. He saw her swipe at her cheek, heard a faint sniff.

She dug in her purse and pulled out a tissue. As she wiped her nose, she angled her head. Dylan was shocked to see the glistening track of tears on her cheeks. But before he could say or do anything, she was looking down again.

He glanced down at the hymnal on her lap, reading the first few lines of the song.

“The tender love a father has for all his children dear…”

The words drew out a mixture of emotions. Dylan had a father who preferred one son over the other.

Lisa had no father at all.

For a moment sorrow replaced Dylan’s anger, and it was that shared sorrow that made him slip his arm around her shoulders. Draw her to his side.

Her slight resistance was followed by a gentle drifting toward him, and he pulled her closer. And once again he felt that same connection that had sparked between them last night.

That it had happened in church seemed to add a blessing to the moment.

Pull yourself together, Lisa commanded herself, bending over the sink of her bedroom’s en suite. She splashed cold water on her puffy eyes, wiped her running mascara and drew in a deep breath.

She didn’t have to feel guilty anymore. Her obligation had been fulfilled. She had gone to church just as she had promised.

So why did she feel as if her carefully constructed life was unraveling piece by piece?

The moment in church when she had so clearly felt the call of God to come to Him and let Him be a father to her still brought tears to her eyes. And she hardly ever cried.

Almost as precious was the memory of Dylan putting his arm around her. A pang of yearning sang through her, agitating a flurry of emotions she never thought she’d feel again.

Dylan is leaving and you are living a lie.

That cold reality sobered her more than the water had.

She left the sanctuary of her bedroom to join the family outside.

And of course the first person she saw when she stepped through the large glass doors to the deck was Dylan. He stood in profile to her, talking with his mother. As he smiled she felt the advent of her previous feelings and she quickly looked away, frustrated at how quickly they had returned.

“Lisa, can I get you anything to drink?” Alex was beside her, smiling down at her.

“No. Thanks.”

“And how did you enjoy church?” he asked, drawing her aside.

Lisa glanced up at him, at the features so like his son’s, except softened by age. “I’m glad I went,” she said, glad she could be honest about something. “It was a real blessing.”

Alex’s smile blossomed. “I’m so glad to hear that.”

“Dad, here’s your iced tea.” Ted joined them then,
handing his father a tall frosted glass. “Well, hello, Lisa. Where have you been hiding? I stopped by an hour ago, but neither you nor my brother were home.”

“Dylan and Lisa came to church with us,” Alex said quietly, a faint edge to his voice.

Ted’s eyebrows shot up and he quirked her a wry grin. “Dylan? In church? You are a surprising influence on my brother, Lisa. I guess there’s hope for him after all.”

“Well, false hope is better than no hope at all,” Lisa quipped.

“So have you and Dylan been able to corroborate what Dara has discovered?” Ted asked her. “I know she’s been quite upset about the whole problem. Quite disturbing.”

Lisa nodded, wishing she’d taken Alex up on his offer of something to drink. She might have missed talking to Ted. There was a hollow heartiness about him that rang false. As if he was trying too hard to be who he was. She never felt comfortable around him.

“Nothing that’s jumped out at us yet.” She angled him a quick glance. “Maybe he didn’t do it.”

Ted laughed. “Oh, he did it, all right.” Ted turned to his father. “I still don’t know why you’re bothering with this. It’s over. We found out who did it. Let’s carry on.”

Alex swirled his iced tea in his glass and shook his head. “It’s not over yet, Ted. I want to be sure beyond any reasonable doubt that we have done the right thing.”

Ted bit his lip and jerked his head to one side, as if holding back some retort.

“What’s not over yet?” Dylan asked, coming to stand beside Lisa.

She kept her eyes on Alex, but every fiber of her being was aware of Dylan behind her. She caught the faint scent of his aftershave, then almost started when he laid a light hand on her shoulder. Part of the act, she reminded herself, suppressing another shiver.

“Your make-work project,” Ted said with a sigh. He gave his brother a quick glance. “The job Dad dragged you back here to do in the hopes that he could talk you into staying with Matheson Telecom.”

Lisa felt Dylan’s fingers tighten on her shoulder, but his voice betrayed no emotion at all. “That won’t happen, Ted. But I’m glad to help out while I’m here.”

“Trust me, Dylan. It’s a setup. There’s nothing to do here.” Then he turned and left them.

Dylan released the pressure on Lisa’s shoulder, but didn’t remove his hand. “Is that true, Dad? Was my coming here just a ruse?”

Alex’s gaze was steadfast, his smile tinged with regret. But he shook his head. “No, Dylan. I truly need your help in this matter.”

“You know my abilities are limited. So are my resources. If you are serious about this, you’ll hire an outside auditor.”

“Trust me on this son. Not yet.”

“Trust.” The word exploded above her head, and Lisa almost flinched at the anger in it. “May I remind you that it was trusting you that got us into this mess, Dad.”

Alex winced, then nodded. “You’re right, son.”

Lisa chanced a quick glance up at Dylan. His jaw was set, his eyes narrowed.

She felt caught up in a storm of feelings, yet felt as if they were on the verge of something big. Important.

The moment stretched between them, then Alex turned away.

Dylan’s hand slipped off her shoulder and he drew it over his face. “I need to get out of here,” he said, glancing down at her. “You want to come for a drive?”

She looked back over her shoulder at Alex, who now stood beside his wife. She wanted to run after him. Pull him back. Make him face his son’s anger and deal with it.

For Dylan’s sake and his own.

But Dylan was supposed to be her boyfriend, and until he told her different, she was to keep up the pretense. “Sure. Let’s go.”

He slipped his arm over her shoulders and together they left. Lisa knew the act was for his family’s sake, but for a small, exultant moment she pretended he had done it because he wanted to.

“L
isa, breakfast is on.”

Dylan’s voice on the other side of her bedroom door gave Lisa a start. She’d been standing in front of the mirror in her bathroom for the past ten minutes, trying to tame her unruly curls.

“Be right there,” she called out, pulling a face at the tangle she’d managed to create.

Not that it mattered what she looked like, she thought, wrinkling her nose at her reflection. She wasn’t trying to impress anyone.

Or was she?

Two days ago, before the wedding and before the church service, Dylan had simply been an overly attractive single boss.

Now, forty-eight hours later, Lisa felt as if all the barriers she thought she had put in place against his charm had been breached by his attentiveness. By seeing him with his family. By pretending to be a part of it by being his girlfriend.

She thought of the church service yesterday. For so many years she’d blamed God for her parents’ death. But yesterday she had felt as if God was waiting. As if the breach between them was of no matter to Him. All she had to do was trust Him.

Could she?

“You coming?” Another knock on the door pulled her back from her reverie.

“I’m coming.” Lisa turned away from the girl in the mirror and her very serious thoughts and joined Dylan in the hallway.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked, his smile warm, welcoming.

She nodded, suddenly shy around him.

The shrill ring of a cell phone from her room shot straight to her heart. It could only be Gabe. She had promised him she would call him last night and give him a update. She had forgotten.

“You going to get that?” Dylan asked.

“I’ll meet you downstairs.” She gave him a quick smile and walked into her bedroom, shutting the door firmly behind her.

“What have you found out?” Gabe’s voice rang through the cell phone. Lisa glanced over her shoulder, hoping Dylan was gone.

“Nothing yet.” She kept her voice low as she walked into the half bath, feeling like a criminal.

“What has Dara given you?”

“Just the invoices and purchase orders for the past six months.”

“You won’t find anything there. She’s decoying you. You need to get into the office.”

“How do you know?” And once again Lisa’s suspicions flared.

“You sound like you doubt me.” Gabe’s voice rose a notch.

“I don’t, Gabe. You know that.”

“I don’t know that anymore. You haven’t been to see me in two days.”

“Gabe, I’ve been kind of tied up.”

He was silent a moment. “With Dylan? At Stanley Park?”

His words sent her heart into her stomach. “How did you know?”

“I phoned the house to ask for you. Someone told me you were at the Park. So I took the bus down there. I saw you with him.”

Lisa closed her eyes, pressing the cell phone against her ear. “Gabe you can’t phone here for me. If these people find out that you’re my brother…”

“You and Dylan won’t be so cozy anymore, will you?”

“Stop it, Gabe,” she snapped, suddenly impatient with her brother. “I’m doing what I can and I’m doing it all for you.” She took a slow breath, trying to calm her beating heart. Time to move on to another topic. “How is work going?”

Silence.

“Gabe, what’s wrong?”

“I’m thinking of quitting.”

Lisa’s heart started right up again, memories of other disappointments crowding in on her devotion to her brother. “Don’t do that, Gabe. Please.”

“Lisa, it’s a dead-end job. The pay sucks and the work is boring. I’ve met up with some guy who runs a shipping company. He needs a part-time accountant.”

In his overly optimistic voice Lisa heard echoes of other opportunities that had sounded too good to be true. “I thought you said you couldn’t get another accounting job without a reference.”

“Well, this guy doesn’t need a reference.”

“Shouldn’t that tell you something?” Lisa closed her eyes. And prayed. “Gabe, I’ll come see you as soon as possible. Maybe tonight. Please. Don’t quit yet. Something will happen here. I know it.”

His silence pressed heavily down on her.

But Lisa knew how Gabe’s thoughts went and how impatient he could be. “Hang in there,” she said, struggling to sound positive. “I’ll come see you tonight.”

He sighed. “Okay,” he said, reluctance edging his voice.

Lisa closed her cell phone and sighed lightly.
Dear Lord,
she prayed,
I don’t deserve to talk to You, but please take care of Gabe. Please don’t let him do anything silly.

It was such a short prayer. And uttered so spontaneously. Yet Lisa felt a gentle peace surround her.

Dylan was already hunched over his desk, fruit and a bagel on a plate at his elbow. He looked up when she came in. “I thought I would get started.” He held her gaze a moment, a soft smile curving his lips. Thankfully he didn’t ask her about the phone call.

Lisa put a plate of food together and joined Dylan in the study. She sat down at the computer and worked at finishing the job she’d started on Friday.

Though her attention was on her work, she couldn’t help the occasional glance Dylan’s way. One time he was looking at her, but as soon as their eyes met, he looked away.

Lisa didn’t want to read anything into it. Couldn’t.

She was finished and walked over to Dylan’s table and pulled another file. A piece of paper, stuck to one of the files, fell to the floor.

Dylan picked it up, wrinkling his nose. “This thing’s a mess.” It was crumpled and stained with rings from a coffee cup. “Does it look like anything?”

Lisa took the folded-over piece of paper from him. “Looks to me like messy bookkeeping. It was just stuck to one of the files,” she replied. She tried to peel the folds apart. “I could try steaming them.”

“I can do it.”

“I don’t mind. I need the break.”

“The kettle is in the pots-and-pans cupboard beside the stove,” Dylan said.

The kitchen was empty, and Lisa easily found the kettle, surprised that Dylan would know. When she and Gabe had lived together, the only pan he’d been able to find was the frying pan, and that was because it was always in the sink or on the stove.

While the water was boiling she tried one more time to pry apart the folds of paper with a knife, but succeeded only in ripping it a bit more.

The steam was pouring out of the kettle now and she held the paper above it, careful to avoid burning her hand. The paper slowly crinkled away until she could unfold it.

It was an invoice. Inside was another paper, a memo to Dara. In Gabe’s handwriting.

“Don’t know if I can keep doing this,” Lisa read. “Ted needs to know.”

Her heart skittered, and deep inside she felt as if something had been yanked out, torn up by the roots. The words shouted at her.

Keep doing this? Doing what? And what did Ted need to know?

Lisa lowered the memo, her hands shaking. Her first reaction was to crumple up the paper and throw it in the garbage. Her second was to grab it and run across town to her brother to ask what it meant.

She glanced quickly around the kitchen, then folded the paper and slipped it into the back pocket of her pants. She couldn’t let anyone see this until she had talked to Gabe about it.

She doubted Dylan could have seen the memo. It was smaller than the invoice and tucked right inside, no edges showing.

She smoothed out the invoice, her fingers trembling. Pulling in a long, steadying breath, she walked back to the study, hoping, praying her face didn’t reveal any of her doubts and fears.

Dylan glanced up when she came back. “Anything important?”

“Just another invoice.” The lie didn’t come easily to her, but Dylan didn’t seem to notice her discomfort.

“I was hoping it would be something more exciting than that,” Dylan said with a light laugh.

“Me, too.” Lisa spun away, pretending to be engrossed in the paper, the crinkle in her back pocket sounding as loud as gunshots in the quiet of the study.

She sat down and laid the innocent invoice on her desk. She glanced at the name of the customer and on a sticky note jotted down the customer name.

“I just need to run upstairs a moment,” she said, glancing at Dylan, wishing her cheeks weren’t so flushed.

Dylan looked up. Smiled at her. “Sure.”

Lisa walked out of the room, then ran up the stairs. As she slipped into her bedroom she felt more and more like a criminal. Was she stealing? Was she as bad as her brother?

As she hid the memo in her suitcase, she stifled a surge of guilt. She would show Dylan once she had talked to Gabe. Once she found out what had really happened.

Three hours later Dylan pushed himself away from the table he was working at and came to stand beside Lisa.

“Well, I’m done here. How are you making out?”

Lisa jumped, then glanced up at him. Look casual.

“I’ve married all the invoices to the purchase orders,” she said. “And from what I’ve seen everything fits.”

“So nothing there.”

“Not in this file.” She took a breath and took a chance. “I think we need to get into the office files and computers. It would be faster for one thing, and easier for Dara,” she said, hoping her voice sounded more casual than she felt. What if he asked her why? What would she say?

Dylan tapped his pen on the desk. “I think you’re right.” He slipped his hand through his hair and leaned
back against the desk. He glanced down at Lisa, his teeth catching one side of his lip. “Do you get the feeling this is a waste of time?”

“Ted seemed to agree with you.”

“I get the feeling Ted wants nothing more than for me to get myself out of here and back to Toronto.” Dylan sighed and pushed himself away from the desk. “Which makes me want to go see what we can find at the office.”

Thirty-five minutes later they were escorted into an office adjoining a large warehouse. The reception area was spacious and light, furnished in much the same fashion as the Matheson home. Large impressionist paintings hung on the wall. The sparse furniture had a European look.

“Can you tell that Mom redid this place, as well?” Dylan murmured to Lisa as he opened the large smoked-glass door for her. “Same down-home country atmosphere.”

Lisa stifled a quick laugh. “Your mother has exquisite taste,” she said quietly. “Maybe you should get her to come and do something with your office in Toronto.”

“Even if I was staying with Matheson Telecom, I wouldn’t. It’s not my style.”

They approached the receptionist half-hidden behind a waist-high sweep of metal and glass. She glanced up, her eyes flicking over Lisa, then coming to rest on Dylan. Her smile changed as she reached up and smoothed her hair. “Hello, Mr. Matheson. Your father is in,” she said, leaning slightly forward. Her shining eyes and breathy voice exuded a welcome Lisa was
sure she didn’t extend to just anyone who walked in the door. The secretary smiled again, and Lisa felt a surprising pinch of jealousy.

“Lisa and I will just go straight in.” Dylan glanced her way and smiled at her. A spark of previous emotions flashed through her. When Dylan had danced with her.

Lisa wrenched her gaze away, reaching for control.

She was almost there when they walked past Alex’s secretary into Alex’s office and saw Alex at his desk.

And Dylan dropped his arm over her shoulder.

It’s just an act, she reminded herself even as she felt the gentle flush of connection at the warmth of his arm.

“Dylan. Lisa. So nice to see you here.” Alex got up, the delight in his voice showing Lisa even more than his beaming smile how pleased he was to see them together. “Are you two touring around?”

Dylan’s fingers tightened on her shoulder, but he didn’t take up his father’s invitation. “We don’t have time, Dad. We’re here to check out some files in the office.”

Alex tapped his fingers lightly on the desk. “I’ll have to talk to Dara about it.”

When Alex left, Lisa edged away from Dylan. Thankfully he got the hint and lowered his arm. Which, to Lisa’s dismay, didn’t make her feel any more comfortable than before.

She walked over to a set of chairs flanked by tables. Brochures lay on the table advertising the various products handled by Matheson Telecom and Lisa picked one up, pretending interest in it.

Gabe’s phone call this morning had left her jittery and out of sorts. The memo only added to it.

But as she glanced at Dylan, who still stood in the center of the room watching her, she knew there was another cause.

The tentative advance and retreat happening between her and Dylan was more than the show they were putting on for the sake of his family. Last night no one had been around and she had felt the pull of attraction, gently irresistible and seemingly innocent.

At the same time she didn’t dare give in. Her secret hung between them like a menacing shadow. Sooner or later it would come out, and anything they had shared to that point would be swept away.

Later, later.

“I can’t seem to find Dara.” Alex came back, looking apologetic. “I was so sure she was here today.”

“All we need to do is look at the most recent files, Dad,” Dylan said, his voice edged with anger. “Surely Dara doesn’t need to be around for that.”

Alex glanced at Lisa, then at Dylan, raising his hands palm up in a gesture of surrender. “I’m sorry, Dylan. If you had called before you came, you might have caught her. She knows where they are.”

“What about Ted? Surely he can help us.”

“Ted was never that involved in the bookkeeping.”

“Which was part of the problem,” Dylan said.

“Dylan, please…” Alex held his hand up in a placating gesture. “This will all get solved sooner or later. We just need time.”

Dylan clenched one hand into a fist and tapped it against his side. Lisa echoed his frustration both with Dara and Alex. Why was he being so evasive? Was he protecting Dara, as well?

And in that moment Lisa understood Dylan’s discontent with his father’s relationship to him.

Yet threaded through that was her conversation with Alex only yesterday morning. His wish that one of his sons would make wise and good choices.

Something else was going on. She couldn’t figure out what, but somehow it hinged on Alex. And what kind of choices he was going to make.