Love Is Patient and A Heart's Refuge (11 page)

And now she was sitting through this evening watching skits and hearing poems that portrayed family life in the Matheson household. Listening to remembrances that showed what a close and loving family they were.

The twins’ poem moved on to the other family members and they finished to a round of applause. They sketched a quick bow and winked at Lisa.

“Mom and Dad want to say a few words now, to end the evening.” The twins gestured toward their parents, who got up from their seats at the head table and made their way to the stage, holding hands as they often did.

Alex tapped on the microphone and looked around the room with a huge smile.

“We are so thankful that all of you could come here. And we’re especially thankful for all the work Erika, Amber, Ted, Dara and Tiffany did. We’re thankful Dylan and Lisa could come from so far away.”

Lisa tried not to squirm at the pairing of her name with Dylan’s. Just as if they were a real couple.

“We’re thankful Chelsea and Jordan were willing to accommodate our anniversary around their honeymoon.”

Huge cheers went up for the newly married couple.

“This evening has been a blessing to Stephanie and me.” Alex glanced sidelong at his wife and they shared a look of love so deep it made Lisa smile just to see it. “But with our thanks, we want to thank our Lord for His enduring love. His blessings through good and bad times. What we have on this earth is less important to us than who we are. And in everything we’ve done, Stephanie and I have hoped and prayed that we have shown our children that. Thank you all for coming. There’s lots of food yet. The party’s not over until the last Matheson is gone. Have a good evening yet.”

Glasses were tinkled all around the hall signaling a request for a kiss, and Alex and Stephanie graciously responded. Their kiss was discreet but warm. Another cheer went up, and with a quick wave Alex and Stephanie returned to their seats.

A wave of voices rose around them. But Lisa couldn’t look at Dylan. Couldn’t talk to him. Instead, in an attempt to pretend busyness, she toyed with the silvery hearts sprinkled on the heavy damask tablecloth, while her heart grew heavier and heavier. Each day she and Dylan spent together brought them closer to the end of this time together. She felt an urgency that no longer was attached only to finding out what she could for Gabe. Now her urgency had as much or more to do with Dylan.

Sooner or later she had to tell Dylan who she really was. Which would mean she would not return to Toronto with him.

And that would be the end of the dream.

“Excuse me,” she murmured to Dylan and the people sitting at their table. She got up and walked outside, feeling suddenly claustrophobic. Once outside, she took a deep breath of the blessedly cool air. She leaned her elbows on the railing of the balcony, watching how the gold lights of the downtown buildings of Vancouver spangled the water across the bay. Under other circumstances she would have been entranced. But tonight guilt weighed heavily on her heart.

Lord, what have I started? Lord, what do I do? How do I get myself out of this? I am starting to care for this man. And care for his family.

“Hey, are you okay?” Dylan came up behind her, resting his hand on her shoulder.

“Just wanted to get a breath of fresh air,” Lisa said, staying where she was.

“It was getting a bit close in there, wasn’t it?” Dylan’s fingers lightly stroked her shoulder. “I hope you weren’t too embarrassed with the girls’ poem?”

Lisa spun around, holding his gaze. “I don’t know what I felt.” She wished she could be more articulate. More honest.

“I know what I did.” Dylan’s eyes glittered in the reflected light and his expression grew serious. He ran his finger along the side of her face. “Lisa, something is happening between us. I know you feel it, too.”

Lisa wanted him to stop, but his words soothed the ache of yearning that had been growing since she met him. Just a few more moments, she thought, closing her
eyes and her mind to the second thoughts that clamored for attention. Just a few more memories.

He held her shoulders and drew her close to him, his breath sighing through her hair. “Let’s get away from here.” He took her hand and led her along the balcony to a set of stone steps that led to a discreetly lit garden.

The grass was damp from the shower this afternoon, but Lisa didn’t mind. She was glad to get away from the party and be where she wanted most to be right now.

Alone with Dylan.

They followed the edge of the manicured lawn, staying close to the flower gardens that sent out a heady mixture of scents. They followed a path to a gazebo, and Lisa’s heart quickened when she saw it was empty.

Their footfalls echoed on the wooden floor, and when they were under the roof, Dylan turned to Lisa and drew her into his arms.

Lisa swallowed, sent up a prayer for strength, then leaned back.

“Dylan, I’m starting to feel so guilty about what we’re doing to your family,” she said, pressing her hands against his chest. “Every day I feel like more and more of a fraud. I don’t know how long I can do this anymore. Your family is so great and they are acting like I really am your girlfriend.” She stopped, the word catching in her throat. “And I really like them.”

Dylan drew back, a light frown pulling his dark eyebrows together. “What are you saying?”

Lisa looked straight ahead, focusing on his loosened tie. “I think we should tell them the truth.”

“And what is the truth?” Dylan lifted her face with
his finger, smiling down at her. “That we don’t like each other? That what happened on the sailboat was just an act? That what is happening now is staged for the benefit of my family?” He cupped her chin with his hand, his eyes intent on hers. “I don’t think that’s the truth, either. Not anymore.”

At her center unvoiced and uncertain feelings swirled as she grasped at the meaning of his words. Did she dare hope that they might have a future?

She drifted toward him, drawn by the emotion in his voice, by her own uncertain and changing emotions.

She laid her hand on his chest, as if forestalling the inevitable, trying to find some solid ground on which to make a stand.

Lisa swallowed as he lowered his head to hers. She stopped him, her emotions seesawing between her changing feelings for him and the precariousness of her situation.

She had to tell him.

She couldn’t tell him. Because if she did, everything she had right now would be lost.

“But I’m not a girlfriend, am I?” She didn’t want an answer, but she had to speak the words aloud.

Dylan shrugged, still holding her. “I think you are. I think I feel more for you than I’ve felt for any so-called girlfriend I’ve ever had.”

His words wrapped themselves around her, teasing, alluring. And dangerous.

“You know what your problem is, Lisa?” Dylan asked, his hands clasped at her waist. “You think too much.”

“First time I’ve ever been accused of that,” Lisa said with a light laugh.

Dylan smiled back. “I think we have a future, Lisa. I really do.”

Lisa closed her eyes as he lowered his head. His kiss was gentle, sweet.

And heartbreaking.

“Okay, I figured I’d find you two out here.”

Like a clumsy hand sweeping away a spiderweb, Ted’s slurred voice whisked away the beautiful and fragile moment. Lisa dropped her hand and sucked in a deep breath, willing her heart to quit pounding.

“You two look pretty cozy,” Ted said, coming into the gazebo. He swayed a little, as if he’d been drinking. “I do b’lieve this is the first time I’ve ever seen you with your arm around a girl.”

Ted turned to Lisa, his eyes glazed. “Did you know that your boyfriend schedules his dates on his handheld computer?” He nodded slowly. “Just marks them in along with business meetings and reminders to pick up his dry cleaning.”

Lisa heard Dylan sigh and she glanced sidelong at him. He crossed his arms over his chest, looking slightly bored. “And why do you think Lisa would want to know that?”

Ted rocked a little, grinning. “So she knows what she’s in for.” Ted glanced over at Lisa. “Course, how many boyfriends make their girlfriends work on their holiday? Huh? But that’s our Dylan. He’s found the ultimate girlfriend. A secretary. That’s my brother. Always efficient.”

Lisa felt a pang of hurt that shouldn’t have bothered
her. She
was
Dylan’s secretary, in spite of the whispered promise she had heard only moments ago. In spite of feelings that were changing.

“Lisa is more than a secretary, and you know that, Ted,” Dylan said, pulling Lisa even closer. Lisa clung to him, drawing from his strength.

“So why do you have her helping you? You come sweeping in here—” Ted waved a feeble hand in Lisa’s direction “—with your secretary. Come to fix everything. Maybe even my job.”

“You know I don’t want your job, Ted. I’m quitting the company. The last thing I want to do is sweep in and take over.”

“So why are you hanging around here, poking your nose into the books?”

“Because Dad asked me to.”

“Did you find what you’re looking for?”

Lisa watched Ted, listened to the bravado in his voice. And she wondered how much he knew about Gabe and Dara.

“If we could get into the office, I’m sure we would find more than what we’ve been finding by only looking through the files Dara has given us,” Lisa blurted out.

She clamped her lips together as Ted’s swivering gaze landed on her. What had made her blurt that out and draw attention to herself?

“Really? And how would you know what to look for, Miss secretary slash girlfriend?”

“I think you’ve said enough, Ted,” Dylan said, annoyance edging his voice.

Ted shook his head slowly. Laughed a humorless
laugh. “Haven’t said enough, really. Never say enough.” He took a step closer to Lisa. She could smell the liquor on his breath. “Let me warn you, Lisa. My brother? Cold. No fun. Busy, busy, busy. Such a hard worker.” He swayed a moment and Dylan grabbed him. “Dara didn’t love him. Said she couldn’t.”

Dylan’s eyes were narrowed, his lips thin. “You better go back, Ted. We didn’t invite you here, and Lisa doesn’t want to hear what you have to say.”

“I think she does.” Ted laid a hand on Lisa’s shoulder. “Did you know your Dylan used to date my wife? But she didn’t want a cold fish like him. She only wanted me. Just me.”

Lisa felt a surprising flash of jealousy. But as she looked more closely at Ted, beyond the anger that clenched his jaw, she saw pain in his eyes. And she heard the uncertainty in his voice.

“Then it’s a good thing she married you, isn’t it?” Lisa said quietly, feeling suddenly sorry for him.

“Let go of her, Ted,” Dylan warned, taking a step nearer his brother.

Lisa gently shook her head in warning at Dylan. She sensed that Ted wasn’t a threat. “I’m sure she still cares for you.”

Ted blinked, as if trying to absorb what she’d said. He let go of Lisa’s shoulder and looked past her, his bluster and bravado slipping away like clothes off a hanger. “I don’t know anymore.” Ted sank onto a bench lining the gazebo, his hands holding his head. “I don’t know if she loves me anymore.” His words were slurred. Almost as if he was crying.

“Why shouldn’t she, Ted?” Lisa asked.

“She doesn’t talk to me anymore. Full of secrets.” He rubbed his hands over his head again and again.

Lisa felt her heart quicken. Maybe Ted knew something after all. “What secrets, Ted?”

Ted looked up at her, his bleary eyes blinking as if trying to focus on her. “That’s why they’re secrets. I dunno about them.”

“Lisa, don’t bother trying to talk to him now. He’s had too much to drink.” Dylan tugged on Lisa’s arm.

Lisa glanced back at Ted, feeling torn.

Ted needs to know.

Lisa wondered what he knew. And wondered, if Dylan talked to him, if Ted would let it out.

She didn’t stop to examine her motives. Lisa ran to his side and caught Dylan by the arm, stopping him. “I think he needs to talk to you, Dylan,” she whispered. “Listen to him.”

Dylan clenched his jaw, staring at Ted, who still sat hunched over, then looked down at Lisa, his features softening. “Why should I talk to him now?”

“Because he’s your brother.” And because he might be able to help my brother.

“Ted has never needed anyone. He’s only used people.”

“Well, he needs you now.” Lisa tugged lightly. “Please talk to him.”

“Why does this matter so much to you?” Dylan touched Lisa’s cheek lightly, smiling now.

A week ago it would have been solely because of Gabe. But now…

“Family is a gift from God,” she said softly, her words sincere. “And I think this is a chance to fix a few things in yours.”

Dylan’s expression grew serious. “You really believe that, don’t you?”

“I do. Don’t waste this opportunity.”

Dylan shook his head, but he let Lisa lead him back to Ted’s side. He hunkered down beside his brother. “Ted, what’s wrong?”

Ted ran his fingers through his neatly combed hair again and again, still looking down. “I don’t think Dara loves me anymore.”

“Why do you say that?” Dylan asked, his own voice quieter.

Ted looked up at Dylan. “She never talks to me anymore. She’s always so busy. All she talks about is you and Lisa.”

“What do you mean?”

Ted slowly shook his head. “She’s tired of having to run files around for nothing. She doesn’t have time. When she’s home all she does is say how she wishes your dad would stop putting pressure on her to cooperate.”

“What do you want me to do, Ted?”

“This is a waste of time,” Ted said. “Tell Dad to stop pokin’ around. It’s all Dara can talk about. We found out who did it. Just let it go. Please. She’s scared Dad’s trying to find a way to get me out and put you in.”

“Okay, Ted. I’ll talk to Dad. We’re not getting anywhere on it anyhow.”

Lisa stifled a flare of panic at Dylan’s assurances. Ted was supposed to confirm her suspicions. Help her
clear Gabe. This was not what was supposed to happen. What had she done?

Dylan pushed himself to his feet and caught Ted by the hand. “Don’t worry about this anymore. It will be over soon.”