Love Inspired November 2014 #2 (23 page)

He wondered about the man who had stopped by. She'd hugged him like an old friend. Was there something more than friendship between them? A prick of unreasonable jealousy lodged in his chest. The man hadn't stayed long, but the look on his face when he'd left suggested something serious.

Ethan rubbed his forehead. He had to remind himself that Nicki wasn't his concern. His sanity was. The dark memories he'd locked away were trying to break free, threatening to pull him under again. He couldn't stay. Scooping up his jacket, he set his jaw and headed toward the office. Best to end this quickly. She'd find more help soon enough.

He heard muffled sounds as he stepped to the threshold of the office. He looked in and his throat tightened. Nicki had her head down on the desk, sobbing. Her soft groans and sniffles pierced his heart. Had something hurt her? The baby? He glanced toward the back room, but he found no clues.

“Nicki?”

She gasped, but kept her head down.

“Are you all right? What happened?”

Slowly, she raised her head, keeping her gaze averted and swiveling her chair to keep from looking at him directly. “I'm fine.”

Clearly she wasn't. He stepped into the office, stopping in front of her desk. “Beautiful women don't cry when they're fine.” That got her attention. She looked at him, wiping tears from her cheeks.

“I got some bad news today.”

“The man who was here?”

“Yes. He's an old friend. An accountant.”

Snagging a folding chair, he opened it and sat. “And?” She wanted to tackle life alone. He recognized the symptoms.

Nicki looked away. “Nothing. I don't want to talk about it.”

“Bad idea. Talking about a difficult situation is the only way to get past the problem.” She stared at him, and he could see her contemplating his suggestion. She shook her head and pulled a tissue from a drawer to wipe her nose.

“I have to save the store.” She kept her eyes on the tissue she was twisting in her hands.

He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. “Save it from what?” An uneasy feeling formed in his gut.

Her shoulders sagged abruptly, as if she'd lost all strength in her body. “Bankruptcy.”

Ethan forced his features to remain neutral and not reveal his surprise. Nicki needed to get this off her chest. The least he could do was listen before he walked out.

“Is that what the accountant told you?”

She slipped her fingers through her hair, grasping it at the back of her neck before letting it go. It fell in tangled strands across her shoulders, and he found himself wondering what her hair would feel like in his hands.

“He only confirmed what I've suspected for some time. The store is failing. I should have paid closer attention. I was dealing with...personal issues. I had a feeling something was wrong, but I didn't want to know. Now I've got to find a way to keep this place going. It's my parents' only source of income.”

“Why is that up to you? Why aren't they here helping you?”

“My father is recuperating from a kidney transplant. My mother is caring for him. When I came home after... they asked me to work at the store. Of course I said I would. I was pregnant with Sadie, but it was so nice to be busy again.” She sniffed. “Then Sadie was born, and Dad found a donor, and Charlie had to stay on to run the store until I could come back, and then he left, and now it's all up to me.”

He tried to connect all the dots in her explanation, but one thing was certain: she was in over her head. “So your plan to change the store—moving fixtures around, bringing in new stock, giving it a hipper image—is your attempt to save Latimer's for your parents.”

Nicki's blue eyes darkened. “Yes. And it's a good plan.”

He wanted to smile at her defensiveness, but didn't figure that was a wise move. “It
is
a good plan. I think it'll work.”

She blinked her eyes, still moist from tears. “You do?”

Her lack of confidence surprised him. She'd been clear and precise about what she wanted done. So why the doubt all of a sudden? “I do. But you can't do it all by yourself. You need help.”

“I have you.”

But he was here to quit. He couldn't stay and risk dredging up the darkness again. He might not survive a second time. “Yeah. If you don't mind me asking, where is your husband? I would have thought he'd be here helping out.”

Her expression went from worried to closed off in an instant.

“Dead.”

The hollow look in her eyes hit Ethan like a blow. Nicki had been through something terrible.

She clasped her hands in front of her on the desk. “I know my plan will work, and with your help, I'm sure we can change the way people think about Latimer's, and business will pick up, and by the time Dad is ready to come back to work it'll be back on its feet. Then Sadie and I can leave.” She stopped, staring at the desktop before looking up again. “Well, it
was
a good plan.”

Leave? Was she planning on moving away from Dover? “What do you mean?”

She stared at the report. “My father didn't tell me the whole story. Gary suspects Dad has been robbing Peter to pay Paul. Once I settle all the outstanding accounts, there won't be enough money to redesign the store. I'll have to work with what's left, but I doubt that'll be enough to turn things around.”

Ethan nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. “Sounds like time for plan B.”

“I don't have a plan B.”

Her bottom lip quivered, filling him with a desire to pull her into his arms. “But you will.”

She met his gaze, her blue eyes wide. “How do you know that?”

“Because you made a plan A. You don't strike me as someone who gives up easily.”

She looked away, fidgeting with the papers on her desk as if uncomfortable with his observation. “I'm just tired, that's all. Sadie was up a lot last night, and I didn't get much sleep. Things will look better tomorrow.”

Ethan tensed. He needed to get this over with. “Tomorrow.”

He saw her mentally gird herself. She looked up at him, her usual smile once more shining through. He doubted if anything could keep her down for long.

“Did you want to talk to me about something?”

He looked at her, his heart softening at the hopeful light in her eyes. Her face was a bit puffy, her nose pink, her mouth pulled into a small frown. Her vulnerability touched something deep inside him. She was counting on him to help her save her parents' store. But he couldn't. He thought about seeing her with the baby this morning and his gut twisted. He stood, sending the metal chair scraping along the floor. He couldn't stay here. Period. But how could he leave her in the lurch like this? He opened his mouth to say the words, but then he remembered the robberies. He couldn't leave them here alone. Which meant he couldn't leave. Dragging a hand across the back of his neck, he sent up a prayer for strength and guidance. “So what do you want to tackle tomorrow?”

Nicki smiled, and the sun came out. “Come up with a plan B?”

“Sure thing.” He started to leave, then turned back. “You heading out soon? I don't think it's a good idea for you and...the little one to hang around here alone.” What if she worked late and the robbers showed up? He'd never forgive himself if anything happened to them. For some reason he didn't understand, he felt responsible for them. Maybe because they were alone like him and no one else seemed to care.

She nodded. “I'm leaving right now. Thanks for listening, Ethan.”

He puttered around in the stockroom until she was ready to leave, then followed her out, keeping his gaze averted from the sight of her and the baby as she secured the infant in its car seat. He took his time getting into his car, making sure she was safely inside hers and driving away before he cranked the engine on his Malibu.

He leaned back in the driver's seat, his heart beating double time. How was he going to do this? The Lord had thrown him a giant curveball. He'd wanted his new life in Dover to be simple; he'd wanted it to be a place where he could learn to manage his emotions and live in the moment. But now he didn't know how he would get through the next few minutes, let alone remain here and work for weeks. Somehow he had to find a way to help Nicki, but avoid seeing her and the baby together.

Pulling out his phone, he scrolled through his contacts until Paul's name appeared. He needed some advice, and he needed it fast.

Chapter Four

T
he gate blocking the railroad track slowly lifted and the line of cars crept forward. Ethan tapped the steering wheel as he waited, trying to maintain his composure and not let his nerves get the better of him.

If he had any sense, he'd call Nicki, tell her goodbye and move on. He'd spent last night questioning his decision, but always coming to the same conclusion. He couldn't leave Nicki to run that store alone. Unfortunately, these thoughts had unleashed old nightmares. The only difference had been the endings. While they used to end with the explosion, then blackness, last night they'd ended with Nicki and the baby running away. From him. Maybe that was progress.

He knew better than to assign any significance to the dreams. They were only subconscious fears mixed up with his PTSD-scrambled brain. The real threat today would be doing his job and keeping a lock on his memories.

Nicki's car was already parked behind the store when he pulled in. He went inside, hoping to slip into the stockroom unnoticed and get to work. But as he moved down the hallway, he heard conversation coming from the office. Wanting to make sure everything was all right, he stepped to the open door and glanced in.

Nicki was cradling the baby in her arms, talking softly, her back to him as she gave the little one her bottle. He ducked back out of sight, but couldn't help overhearing as she talked to her daughter.

“I'm sorry that you don't have a daddy, sweetie. Mommy really messed up on that. I wanted you to have a daddy like me. Someone to love you no matter what, who'll think you're special, someone to protect you. But your daddy wasn't like that. Which is why we had to get away. So it's just you and me, Sadie. But we'll be okay. I promise.”

Ethan slowly backed up, then made his way to the kitchen. What had she meant by “get away”? What had happened between her and her husband? Questions multiplied in his head.

Pouring a cup of coffee, he stared at the dark liquid, relieved that seeing Nicki and the baby today hadn't triggered any memories. He released a slow breath. Perhaps yesterday's reaction had been a result of surprise. But he'd still have to be on guard. The threat of a flashback lurked in the shadows of his mind like a mountain lion poised to attack.

“Good morning.” Nicki joined him at the coffeemaker. “I thought I heard you come in.”

He glanced at her briefly before spooning sugar into his coffee. “Where's the little one?”

“I put her down for some tummy time.”

Ethan had no idea what that meant. His expression must have given him away.

“She's playing.”

Nicki reached across him for a cup, surrounding him with the scents of gardenias and baby powder. The light from the ceiling fixture danced off her yellow hair, making it shimmer as she moved. She grasped the coffee carafe and he couldn't help but notice her small hands. He allowed his gaze to skim over her. The print dress she wore nipped in at her waist and flared softly over her hips. The word
delicate
came to mind. But even though Nicki may appear delicate, he knew underneath she was a woman made of strong determination and grit. He returned his focus to the coffee in his cup and not the lovely woman beside him.

“Ethan, about yesterday...”

He braced before turning to look at her. Curiosity reflected in her eyes. He did
not
want to talk about his reaction or explain about his PTSD. He'd learned the hard way that it triggered fear and distrust in many people.

“I want to apologize. I was an emotional mess and unloaded on you. My only excuse is that I wasn't prepared for the news my friend gave me.”

He stared. That was what she wanted to talk about? The tension in his shoulders eased. “You have a lot on your plate right now.”

“True, but what I need is action, not tears. I've got to stay focused on my goal.”

“What goal is that?”

“Getting out of Dover.”

Disappointment settled heavily on his shoulders. He'd barely come to know her and she was making plans to leave. An old ache resurfaced. No one in his life stayed for long. They were all only temporary. Apparently Nicki would be another one on his long, long list.

“Which brings me to another subject.” She took a sip of her coffee, looking at him above the rim. His heart caught in his throat. “I'd like to train you on the cash register today. With all the paperwork, and keeping an eye on Sadie, it would be a big help if we could both handle customers.”

He added creamer to his cup, watching the dark coffee turn a caramel color. He'd hoped this part of his job wouldn't come until later. Why had he ever thought working here would be simple? Two days in and he was facing all the things he'd wanted to avoid.

He glanced at her briefly. “I'm not much of a salesman. I'm more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy.”

“You'd be my backup, not a full-time salesperson. It would help me out a lot.”

The hopeful look in her eyes punctured his reluctance. He'd promised himself when he'd come to Dover he'd step out, embrace life. Here was his first test. “Okay. Sure.”

“Great. I'll go get the till and we'll do it right now. And don't worry about helping the customers. Everyone here in Dover is friendly. Just flash that great smile of yours and the customers will be happy. Meet me out front when you're done with your coffee.” She hurried out of the kitchen.

Ethan stared after her. She thought he had a great smile? He let that thought settle for a few moments before joining Nicki at the register. He looked over her shoulder, inhaling the gardenia scent again and fighting to keep his mind on her words and not the way his senses reacted to being near her.

“It's a simple system. I don't think you'll have much trouble learning it. It pretty much runs itself.”

She ran through the steps, letting him count the till and practice a few sales and returns and closing out at the end of the day. She smiled, brushing the bangs off her forehead. “You're a quick learner.” She patted his arm. “I knew you would be.”

The warmth of her hand seeped through the fabric of his shirt and traveled along every nerve in his body. He nodded, finding it hard to pull his gaze from her sweet smile. She looked into his eyes for a moment, then stepped back.

“There's a shipment of fashion cell-phone covers coming in this morning that I think the teens will love. I want to get them on the floor quickly. I'll let you know where I want to display them and give you the price point later.”

“I'll keep an eye out for it.”

Once he was back in the stockroom, Ethan took a deep breath, struggling to dispel the lingering effects of Nicki's nearness. She evoked feelings he'd ignored for a long time. Feelings that had no place in his life right now. But he just couldn't walk away and leave her in the lurch.

When he'd talked with Paul last night, his friend had reminded him to focus on service, and that was what he intended to do. Paul had also reminded him that avoidance was not the way to deal with his situation. He prayed he was right because he'd taken another step deeper into Nicki's life. Letting Nicki down was a more distasteful prospect than facing her and the baby. But he'd have to keep his barriers up. Something about Nicki penetrated his defenses and he wasn't sure he could let it go.

* * *

Nicki hung up the phone, sighed, silently gave a prayer of thanks and then leaned back in her chair. She'd negotiated new payment plans with most of her father's vendors, which would give her breathing space for the next few months. Of course, that didn't put a dent in the bill for the supplier who had suspended shipments or cover the merchandise she'd already ordered before she'd known the extent of the store's financial trouble. She suspected her dad had tapped out his savings to keep the store going, which worried her, but also made her more determined than ever to save the store.

Soft gurgles from the other room told her Sadie was awake. Lifting her daughter from the crib, she held her close, kissing her little head. Her baby girl was particularly cuddly when she woke up. “How's my sweet girl? Did you have happy dreams?” After putting a fresh diaper and a new polka-dot onesie on Sadie, Nicki placed her in the bouncy chair on her desk. She liked to keep her close so she could talk to her and touch her while she worked. It wasn't an ideal situation, but she couldn't bear to let her out of her sight. She touched Sadie's hand, smiling when the little fingers curled around her index finger.

A faint noise drew her attention and she paused, listening for the bell on the front door of the store. When it didn't come, she sighed, tapping Sadie's toes lightly. “Business is slow today, sweetie.” Her early back-to-school sale had gone well, but she needed more foot traffic if she was going to turn business around. She needed to place an ad in the
Dover Dispatch
and let people know Latimer's was having a makeover.

Now that Ethan knew how to work the register, she could take more time to come up with ideas. The thought buoyed her spirits. He'd suggested a plan B, but she'd been too busy, and too stunned by Gary's report, to even consider one.

Nicki tried to go back to work, but it was hard to concentrate when all she wanted to do was hold her precious little girl. She never dreamed she'd feel this way. She'd searched her whole life for a place where she fit, a purpose, and she'd found it in one tiny person. She thanked God every hour for her sweet Sadie. The love she felt was so powerful, sometimes she feared she couldn't hold it all inside.

By noon, Nicki had come up with a dozen ideas to revitalize the store on a small budget and discarded all of them. What she needed was someone to brainstorm with.

When she heard a light tapping on the door frame, she looked up and saw Ethan standing there, filling the space with his broad shoulders and long legs. He certainly was an attractive man, though a man of mystery.

He slipped his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. “I'm heading out for lunch.”

She reminded herself to take advantage of the resources at hand. “Ethan, I could use your help with something.”

“Name it.”

She chewed her lip a moment. “Plan B.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Okay. What exactly do you need?”

“A plan B.”

A full-blown smile appeared on his face, softening the sharp angles, turning his dark eyes to warm cocoa and easing the squared-off shoulders into a curved position. “Let me go get one from the stockroom for you.”

Nicki blinked at his unexpected teasing. In the few days he'd been at the store, he'd rarely smiled and never revealed a lighthearted side at all. She liked this side of Ethan Stone. “I wish it were that simple.”

“I'm not sure how I can help.”

Nicki looked away. The compassion in his dark eyes was having an odd effect on her nerves. “I need to brainstorm ideas with someone—ways to revamp the store without a lot of money. With running the store and taking care of Sadie—” she bit her lip “—I'm not thinking as logically as I usually do.”

“All right. My brain could use a challenge.”

“Thanks. I brought enough lunch today to feed a baseball team. We could talk while we eat, unless you have plans.”

“Nope, no plans.”

“Good. Well, give me a minute and I'll get it all set up.” He nodded and walked away. Nicki expelled a pent-up breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Being around Ethan always left her feeling like a teenager with a crush on the new boy in school. Ridiculous. Besides, there was a dark, edgy quality about him that made her uneasy. But then he'd do something thoughtful and she'd catch a glimpse of a different Ethan. Her curiosity grew by the moment, even though she'd sensed that, like her, he had things in his life he had no desire to share.

That should have given her comfort. She wouldn't have to worry about him asking her questions, digging up old pains. But strangely it only made her more curious about her strong and silent employee.

Pushing up from her chair, she checked on Sadie, leaving the door open in case the baby woke, then headed for the kitchen. She'd pulled out the containers filled with roast beef and homemade noodles from last night. Ethan entered the kitchen as she removed a pitcher of sweet tea from the old fridge. Suddenly the front bell sounded. “I'd better go see. Go ahead and help yourself.”

When she returned, the table was set with the old plastic plates she kept in the cupboard, paper napkins and glasses of iced tea. Ethan was at the sink, wiping his hands with a paper towel. “Wow. I guess you know your way around a kitchen.”

He joined her at the table. “A single man has to acquire some culinary skills.”

After filling their plates, Ethan closed his eyes briefly for a prayer. The gesture brought up another question. Ethan must be a Christian. Something Brad hadn't been. At one time she hadn't thought it mattered, but now faith was at the top of her list for next time. Not that there would be a next time. She would never give her heart over to another man. The risk was too high.

She glanced over at Ethan, questions growing like the kudzu in the fields outside of Dover. She wished she knew more about him. “Do you have any family, Ethan?”

He stopped in midbite, wiping his mouth with the napkin. “No.”

Her cheeks flamed. “Sorry. I didn't mean to pry.”

He held her gaze a moment, his dark eyes probing. “My mother died in a car accident when I was eight. I was raised in foster care.”

Sadness squeezed her heart at the thought of him growing up alone, shifted from one place to the other. Words of sympathy lay on the tip of her tongue, but the tension she saw in his shoulders stopped the impulse.

“This plan B. What exactly do you need?” Ethan asked her.

Suddenly, confiding in a stranger—her employee—seemed like a bad move. Her mother would be horrified if she knew Nicki was discussing personal troubles with Ethan. But looking at the compassion in Ethan's eyes, Nicki set her reservations aside. Her priority now was saving the store.