Love Inspired November 2014 #2 (22 page)

He wasn't sure what had triggered his small flashback yesterday. Perhaps seeing the soldier or anxiety over joining a new PTSD group. Thankfully he'd been able to hold off the images. This time.

He could hear Nicki in the front of the store, her voice warm and pleasant as she waited on a customer. She had a way of making each person feel that their business was appreciated. He was going to like working here. He liked working for Nicki. She was a confident, capable woman. Yet there was also something fragile about her, as if her determination and confidence could shatter at any moment. Nicki Latimer was an interesting combination of strength and softness.

Her vulnerability triggered his protective instincts, something he hadn't felt in a long time. And noticing an attractive woman made him feel human again. He'd spent too much time trying to survive. It was nice to experience normal reactions again.

Ethan pried the shipping label from a small box, turning to glance at Nicki as she strode into the stockroom and went to the storage closet. Sliding the blade back into the box cutter, he watched as she rummaged through the shelves a moment, then pulled out a new lightbulb, shut the cabinet and reached for the four-foot folding stepladder leaning against the wall.

She smiled over her shoulder, holding up the bulb. “Light's out in my office.”

“Need some help?”

“No. I can do it myself.”

He watched her walk away, lugging the awkward stool, her shoulders squared. The defiant tone in her voice piqued his curiosity. Maybe he should keep an eye on her. He wasn't comfortable with her climbing an old step stool without someone to steady it.

He found her in her office, stool unfolded and placed squarely beneath the light fixture. The office ceiling was at least ten feet. To reach the socket she'd have to stand on the top step, and even then it would be a stretch. He stepped forward, extending his hand. “Let me do that.”

She pulled the lightbulb out of his reach, her blue eyes darkening to navy. “Don't tell me what to do. I'm perfectly capable of changing a lightbulb.”

Ethan held her gaze, surprised to see fear flash through her blue eyes. Her posture was rigid. Her jaw was set. He held her eyes a moment longer, wishing he could understand and help somehow. But right now, discretion was called for. He stepped to the front of the ladder, steadying it with both hands, and waited.

Slowly, the tension eased from her shoulders. She inhaled a deep breath and grasped the side of the ladder, bulb in the other hand. The front bell chimed, halting her on the first step. She glanced from the doorway back to him, clearly torn between completing her task and greeting the new customer.

He held out his hand. “I'll finish up here. If that's okay.” His offer was rewarded with a sweet smile that sent his heart on an odd roller-coaster ride.

“Thanks.”

Ethan watched her hurry away, then quickly replaced the lightbulb and returned the step stool to the stockroom. His curiosity about his new boss was fully engaged now. He wanted to know what had caused the fear in her blue eyes. Whatever it was, he'd be keeping a close eye on her from now on. She was prone to acts of recklessness.

A loud rumble from his stomach an hour later reminded Ethan that it was lunchtime. While Nicki had insisted they were on the honor system, he wanted to at least notify her he was leaving. He decided to try the deli around the corner today.

Striding out of the stockroom, he peeked in the office door. It was empty, but he could hear her speaking softly in the back room. He grinned, tugging on his earlobe. Maybe she was the kind who talked to herself. Another thing that made her interesting.

He heard her giggle before she stepped back into the office. He looked over at her, teasing words on the tip of his tongue. He froze. Blood drained from his face. His heart refused to beat. Ice filled his veins.

Nicki stood in the middle of the office with an infant in her arms. She cradled the baby against her shoulder, patting its back and cooing sweetly. Ethan recoiled at the image. His vision flickered between the woman and child in front of him and the woman and child in Afghanistan. One minute together. The next... Claws of horror pierced the back of his mind. He tried to focus on Nicki and the baby, but the image of the others on the ground—broken, torn—intruded. He was sucked back to a dusty street in Afghanistan. He couldn't breathe, couldn't move or even think.

“Oh, Ethan. I want you to meet my daughter, Sadie.”

Her voice penetrated his senses slowly like molasses dripping from a spoon. He had to get away. Now. “Yeah. I'm...lunch.”

“Ethan. Are you all right?”

Ethan looked from Nicki's proud smile to the little child, with its bobbing fists and little head that wobbled slightly. His stomach twisted. The claws dug deeper, pulling him back. He managed a nod and stumbled back. “I'd better...”

He pivoted and burst out the back door to the parking area behind the stores, stopping in the middle and bending over, resting his hands on his thighs as he drew deep breaths into his lungs.
God help me.
After a few moments, he felt the panic ease. He straightened and raked his fingers across his scalp. His gaze drifted upward, landing on a white steeple visible above the row of brick buildings. The sun glinted off the copper finial, sending rays of light outward.

The Lord is my shepherd.
He inhaled, reciting the psalm silently as he concentrated on taking slow measured breaths. By the time he got to
Thy rod and thy staff,
his heart rate was returning to normal, but his gut was still in knots. Lunch was out of the question. Being around people was impossible.

He walked to his car, climbed in and drove the few miles out of Dover to his motel room. Safely inside, he fell on the bed and tried to sort out what to do next. He couldn't stay at the store. He couldn't work there every day seeing Nicki and the baby. He'd go mad. All the work he'd put in over the past year would be gone.

There was only one solution. He had to quit. Today. He wanted to call her immediately and tell her, but he couldn't walk out in the middle of the day. Not after promising her he'd be around to help her redo the store. He'd fight through the rest of the afternoon, but at six tonight he'd tell her he was done. He hated to see the disappointment in her blue eyes, but he had no choice.

He looked at Ron's card, lying on the bedside table. He could call. Talk it out. But his emotions were too raw. He needed time to process what he was feeling. At the very least, time to calm down.

Service. He had to think of his last few hours as service. Then he could get through it. Doing for others had been how he'd gotten through it the first time. That, along with prayer and talking to Paul.

Feeling in control once more, he picked up his keys and headed back. All he had to do was make it through a couple of hours. So much for Dover being the refuge he'd hoped for.

Chapter Three

T
he incident with Ethan replayed in Nicki's mind as she carried her daughter to the kitchen and prepared a bottle. When she'd seen him in the office doorway, she'd been anxious to show off her beautiful little girl. But instead of the smile and compliments she normally received, Ethan had stared at her and Sadie with a look of shock and horror. He'd paled, and his eyes had glazed over, as if he were seeing something else. He'd mumbled something about lunch, then bolted.

There was no explanation she could think of for his odd behavior. Maybe he didn't like children. Or maybe he'd lost a child and seeing Sadie had reminded him of his loss. Had she made another foolish mistake in hiring him? Maybe her mother was right after all. He'd provided only the barest of information on his job application. Social Security number and a birthdate that made him thirty-three as of a few months ago.

He'd listed his college, but not his degree. Why wouldn't you want people to know what you'd done before? Maybe he had a criminal past. She should have done a background check on him first. She thought back to all the times her husband had kept secrets from her. She'd ignored her instincts and paid a huge price for it.

Brad had always made her feel off balance and uncertain. She didn't get the same sense from Ethan. She snuggled Sadie a little closer against her. “I don't think there's anything sinister about Ethan, do you, sweetheart?” Mysterious maybe, and private, but she always felt safe around him. Something she hadn't felt in a long time. She told herself to forget the incident. But she couldn't dismiss the darkness she'd seen in his eyes.

With her daughter fed and happy, she put her down for tummy time, adjusted the volume on the baby monitor, then went out into the store. The bell hadn't jingled once in the past forty-five minutes. But business was always slow on Mondays. Today that would work to her advantage. She wanted to have this sale set up and the sign posted. Maybe she could lure some bargain hunters in before the store closed.

As always, Ethan had completed his work. The lower shelves had been removed, and the tables were in place. All she had to do was put out the merchandise and pray it would sell quickly.

Taking the roll of tape and a pair of scissors from the drawer at the sales counter, she carried the long, colorful sale sign she'd dug out earlier and moved to the old-fashioned raised display window, using a small stool to step onto the platform. The sign was bulky and awkward. She was struggling with the tape when the bell chimed and Debi walked in.

“You having a sale?”

Nicki lowered the sign and nodded. “Yes. A clearance sale. I've got to get rid of all this old stuff so I can bring in new merchandise. Things people go to Sawyer's Bend or Jackson for. I want to keep them here in Dover.”

Debi's smiled brightened. “Sounds like a good idea.”

Nicki stepped down from the window and sighed. “But first I have to put up this sign and I can't reach it.” She laid the sign and tape on the shelf. “I'll have to have Ethan do it when he gets back from lunch.”

“Ethan?” Debi's eyebrows arched.

“The guy I hired Saturday.”

Debi went still, her gaze directed toward the back of the store. “You mean him?”

Nicki looked around and saw Ethan approaching. As he came closer, she noticed his stiff shoulders and unreadable expression. He was suppressing his emotions. Something she was familiar with. Had seeing Sadie caused that, or had something else happened? She forced a smile, then introduced Debi. Ethan nodded, keeping his hands at his sides.

“Do you need help with that?” He glanced at the sign lying on the window shelf.

“Yes, thank you.” She picked up the tape and scissors and held them out to him. He took the tape first, his fingers brushing against hers and causing her breath to catch. She looked into his eyes to see if he'd felt something too, but his gaze was unreadable and his jaw was set in a hard line. When he lifted the scissors from her grasp, he touched only the handles. “Uh, I'd like it draped through the middle of the window.”

Inside the window area, he secured one side, then the other. Nicki watched his progress closely, telling herself she wanted to make sure he did it properly, but keenly aware that she couldn't take her eyes off of him. Ethan moved with a fluid male grace that was pleasing to watch.

With the sale sign perfectly placed, Ethan stepped down from the display window and handed her the tape and scissors. “Anything else?”

“Thank you.” She tried to hold his gaze a moment to show her appreciation, but he looked away. “There are three boxes on the top shelf in the back corner of the stockroom. They probably have the word
Keep
written on the side. If you'll bring those out, I'll add them to the sales table.”

He nodded. “Nice to meet you, Ms. Gordon.” He walked off.

Debi sighed. “Yummy.”

“Hush. He might hear you.”

“Like he doesn't know he's dreamy?”

Nicki doubted it. He struck her as the type who would be embarrassed if someone called him “dreamy.”

Debi nudged her arm. “I want to know all about him.”

So did she. For a moment, she considered telling her friend about Ethan's odd reaction to Sadie, but decided against it for now.

“You know, Nicki...” Debi nodded thoughtfully. “If you wanted to really increase business, all you'd have to do is have him stand in the front window. I'll bet your sales would go through the roof.”

Nicki shook her head. “Oh, come on.” She noticed Ethan returning with two of the boxes and quickly changed the subject. “If you stopped by to see Sadie, she's napping.”

“No, I came by to see if you'd heard about the break-in last night?”

“Another one?” She stepped aside to let Ethan place the cartons on the sale table, catching a whiff of his enticing aftershave. She forced her attention on Debi. “Where?”

“Durrant's Hardware. They took the computer, some petty cash and several expensive power tools. That's the fourth store to be broken into in the last two weeks.”

A twinge of alarm chased down Nicki's spine. She'd worked late several nights since taking over the store. Now the thought of being here alone with the baby didn't sound like a good idea. Her gaze shifted to Ethan as he walked away. Of course, with him here she'd feel perfectly safe. His muscular build and stern demeanor would no doubt deter any burglar who tried to break in. “Do the police have any leads?”

“Nothing solid yet.” Debi rested one hand below her throat. “I'm glad it's still light out when I leave work. Otherwise I'd have Jerry take me home in his patrol car every night.”

Nicki studied her friend, noting the worry in her usually bright blue eyes. “How are you dealing with Jerry's new job as a police officer?”

“Okay, I guess. I try not to think about it. There's not much crime in Dover. At least not until these robberies started.” She shrugged. “But I do worry. I've met a few of the other officers' wives. Captain Durrant's wife, Ginger, is new to life as a law-enforcement spouse. We've talked a couple of times. It helps.”

“I'm glad. You know I'll be praying for his safety.”

“Thanks.” Debi pulled her into a warm hug. “I miss you, Nicki. Before Sadie was born and your dad had his transplant, we used to have lunch and go shopping. Now we can only manage to steal a few minutes during the day.”

“I know. I miss that, too. But by the end of the day, I'm too tired to do anything but fall into bed. And you're not exactly a stay-at-home mom.”

“I know. Carter and Zoe have both started soccer. I feel like I'm on the road nonstop. Promise me we'll do lunch or dinner soon.”

“Promise.”

Nicki watched her friend leave and realized how much her life had changed since coming home. At times she felt trapped and alone, unable to break free to live her own life. While she loved her parents and was grateful for their help, she was completely dependent on them for everything. Even her job. The only thing that kept her going was knowing that eventually she and Sadie could leave Dover and start over.

The afternoon passed more quickly than she'd anticipated, allowing her to forget for brief moments about her meeting with her friend the accountant. A glance at the clock showed it was almost closing time. Gary would be here soon. As she walked back to her office, her gaze drifted to the stockroom. Ethan had kept to himself most of the afternoon. His reaction to Sadie still nagged at her mind, but she couldn't bring herself to ask him about it.

She glanced up at the bright light illuminating her desk. She owed Ethan an apology. He'd tried to help her with the bulb. But his “Let me do that” statement had triggered something in her, and she'd lashed out. She wasn't about to let anyone tell her what to do. She was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. But that didn't justify rudeness.

Nicki went in search of her new employee and found him out front, replenishing stock. He turned, bracing his shoulders, his eyes guarded. Did he think she was going to press him about his reaction earlier?

She chewed her lip a moment, preparing her speech. “I'm sorry about the lightbulb thing. I know you were just trying to help.”

He picked up the carton he'd emptied and folded the flaps inward. His gaze met hers. “No problem. I like to do things for myself, too.”

How had he interpreted her behavior so correctly? The look in his eyes led her to believe he truly did understand. All of her life, people had been telling her to stop being so bullheaded and independent. No one understood the satisfaction she found in achieving things on her own.

“Well, I appreciate your help. Thanks.”

He nodded. “That's what I'm here for.”

Nicki went back to her office. Ethan was right. She'd hired him to help. Tomorrow she would train him on the register. But today, she had to deal with Gary's findings.

Picking up the new floor plan she'd sketched out for the store, she studied it again. Her training in marketing told her the plan to revitalize Latimer's was sound, but as a daughter, she feared her plan might fail and cost her parents their business. If only she knew for sure. Her confidence was so fragile. One minute she thought she could conquer the world. The next, humiliation and shame would drag her back down into feelings of powerlessness and defeat. She couldn't trust her own judgment, not after the mistakes she'd made.

“Nicki.”

She looked up to find Ethan in the office doorway. “There's someone here to see you.”

He moved aside, and Gary Palmer stepped into the office. “Hey, Nichelle.”

Gary hadn't changed much since high school. He was short and stocky with a head of unruly red hair, and his boyish grin eased some of her anxiety.

She rose and greeted him with a hug. “It's good to see you.”

“It's good to have you home again.”

Nicki glanced over his shoulder and saw Ethan watching her from the stockroom. The hard look on his face puzzled her, until she realized he was gauging the situation, watching out for her. The protective gesture pleased her. It was nice to have someone looking out for her. As long as it didn't go too far.

Closing the office door, she gave her full attention to Gary. Seated at her desk, she took a deep breath. “How bad is it?”

Gary laid a folder on the desk and opened it. “Of course, I can only report on the information you gave me, but it appears that your father has been juggling accounts for some time to keep the store running.”

“What about the lump sum he deposited? Where did that come from?”

“Without access to the personal accounts, I can't say, but I'd guess he's tapped out his savings or mortgaged the house.”

“Bottom line?”

“Unless something changes, the store can limp along for six months, maybe a year, and then...” He shrugged. “I'm sorry. I wish I had better news.”

After Gary left, Nicki cradled her head between her hands, her thoughts tumbling with the news he'd delivered. Things were worse than she'd thought. Unless something changed, the store was facing bankruptcy within the next few months. Her father's infusion of cash helped, but once the outstanding bills were taken care of, there wouldn't be much left to upgrade the merchandise. Her grand plan was out of the question now. How had her father let things get so bad? And how was she going to keep it from getting worse?

Insecurity and doubt washed over her like a wave on the beach, sucking her confidence out from under her. A tidal wave of emotions swelled in her chest, but she had no strength left to fight them. Laying her head on her arms, she gave in and cried.

* * *

Ethan tossed the utility knife onto the worktable in the stockroom. Six o'clock. Time to leave. Time to tell Nicki Latimer he was quitting. He took a deep breath, resting his hands on his hips. His resolve had wavered slightly since this morning after he'd overheard Nicki's friend telling her about the burglaries in town. A woman with a baby working alone at night wasn't a good idea. He didn't know Nicki well, but he'd learned enough to know she'd stay until her work was done, no matter how late the hour.

Those protective instincts that had been triggered early were growing. But that wasn't his problem. Nicki wasn't his problem. Nicki and Sadie together were the issue. He'd managed to keep busy all afternoon, and the few times he'd wandered out into the main part of the store, he'd been able to concentrate on his task and nothing else. Unless Nicki was there. Then he'd had to battle the wish to watch her while she worked. Another reason to leave. The lovely store manager messed with his mind. Thankfully, the baby hadn't been with her those times or he would have had a different reaction. He'd heard the little one crying once, but that hadn't bothered him. It was seeing the two of them together that would trigger the horror.