Love Inspired Historical March 2014 Bundle: Winning Over the Wrangler\Wolf Creek Homecoming\A Bride for the Baron\The Guardian's Promise (35 page)

She nodded and waited for him to find the right words.

“Even though I was stupid and self-centered and thoughtless back then, I had enough sense to know you were a very special person. I'm not claiming it was love—I've never had much experience with that emotion, but whatever it was I couldn't deal with it, and so I treated it, and you, with the same casual disregard I did everything.”

“Gabe, you don't—”

“Sh,” he said, placing a finger against her lips. “I need to say this. I've needed to say it for a very long time.”

She pressed her lips together and he continued.

“When I finally came to my senses and realized my life was a shambles and I was no happier than when I left here, I started thinking about you. I dredged up memories of every moment we'd spent together, everything we'd said, done, felt. I knew then that I'd had something special within grasp—maybe my only chance to find real happiness—and I'd tossed it aside.

“I started thinking about my relationship with Caleb, too. We were never close, and as I looked back I began to see that he was the one who got the short end of the stick because I was such a slacker. About a year ago I started playing with the notion of coming back to try to make things right with you and him and anyone else I might have hurt.

“When I woke up and saw you standing at my bedside, I knew beyond a doubt that the time we spent together in St. Louis was the best of my life, and that
you
were the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm truly sorry. For everything. But at the same time, I'm not sorry that I had those few weeks with you, wrong though they were.”

Rachel wanted to believe him. She knew he believed what he was saying, that he meant it. But how long before the siren of wanderlust began singing her tempting song in his ear?

She wasn't aware that she'd spoken the words aloud until he smiled and said, “I've heard all her songs and they don't pull at me anymore.”

“What if she whispers that Dallas is where you really need to be,” Rachel murmured, “or that California has sights you haven't seen?”

“I've been to both of those places and have no desire to go again. At least not alone.”

Was he implying he would like to go with her? “How long before some other woman catches your attention, and you begin to wonder what her arms would feel like around you?”

“The only woman whose arms I can even remember is you. Your arms.”

How she wanted to believe him, but there was so much at stake. It was time she stopped running on emotion where Gabe was concerned, time she started using her common sense and intellect. She didn't think she could survive if she gave him her heart and he waltzed out of her life a second time. Risking Danny's heart was out of the question. What she could do was grant Gabe forgiveness and move on with her life.

“If it's forgiveness you want, Gabe, you have it.” She choked out a breathless sob of laughter. Pressing her hand to her heart, she gave him a tremulous smile. “You don't know what a burden has been lifted just saying those words. I feel so...so free.”

“I'm glad.”

She sobered suddenly. “This isn't just about you and me and what we felt or may feel now. It's about Danny. It's been about him ever since they laid him in my arms.”

“I'm beginning to understand that. Maybe you'll think I'm crazy, but I love him, Rachel. I never had any idea how much you could love a child until he put his arms around me and told me I was doing fine as a father.”

Seeing her skepticism, he asked, “Why should women be the only ones who feel that special bond? I want to be part of his life. Please say you'll let me.”

She chewed on her bottom lip, her mind racing. How could she deny him this, when his eyes held such earnestness? Yet how could she say yes when she was so afraid?

As if he could read her mind, he said, “There's nothing I can do to undo my wrongs, and I know you have plenty of reason to doubt me, but you can believe me when I tell you that I'm not going anywhere.”

She stared at him, wanting to believe, uncertain if the statement was reassuring or distressing.

Chapter Seven

F
or the next few days gossip around town was worse than a feeding frenzy, and it seemed to Gabe that almost everyone who came into the mercantile sneaked furtive glances at him. Some turned away when he tried to make eye contact. A few regular customers stopped coming by, but he wasn't too worried since he was the only store in town. They'd have to come back sooner or later, unless they wanted to travel to Murfreesboro or Gurdon for supplies.

He figured there was plenty of speculation about him and Rachel at the town's dinner tables, which he supposed was to be expected, but for the most part, his customers treated him as they always had. As he'd overheard one of the old men tell one of his checkers cohorts, it was a rite of passage for young men to sow a few wild oats.

The offhand comment only made Gabe feel worse, especially when the old codger added that he was just a bit surprised that Doc's girl had been involved. That was Gabe's true shame. He deserved everything being said about him, but he was heartsick at the knowledge that Rachel was being talked about.

Besides her and her family, the ones whose opinions meant the most were Caleb and Abby. After Gabe and Rachel talked, he'd rented a buggy and driven to the farm, hoping to break the news to them in his own way. He was flabbergasted to find that Rachel had already confided to Abby, who had told Caleb. Though Gabe expected censure and worse from his brother, he was surprised by his willingness to listen without interruption or reproach.

Gabe told them about his earlier talk with Rachel and ended by confessing, “I don't know what to do to make things right.”

“You've already taken the first step,” Abby assured him. “You've put your trust and your future in God. You have to turn this over to Him and let Him work this out however it's meant to be.”

“She's right. It will all turn out the way He wants it to,” Caleb said. “That's one thing Abby taught me. I came up with all sorts of reasons about why I wasn't good enough to make a life with her. I didn't have a relationship with God, I wasn't good husband and father material, I wasn't like William, and I couldn't relate to Ben. The list went on and on, so I did my best to drive her away.”

“What!”

Caleb smiled. “That's a story for another day. Let it suffice for now that, thankfully, God and Abby had other plans. There's something to be said about a woman who has a mind of her own and isn't afraid to speak it. If things between you and Rachel don't turn out the way you want, you'll have to trust that it's the Lord's will, accept it and move on. That will be the hardest part.”

Abby smiled. “Caleb's right, but I'm an incurable romantic, and I find it hard to believe that He has brought the two of you to this place after so much time and pain and in such a dramatic way just to tear you apart. Even if you decide you don't suit, I can't believe He doesn't want you to be a part of Danny's life. You do want that, don't you?”

“More than anything,” Gabe told her. “Except for Rachel and me to have a life together.”

“You love her, then?” Abby asked, smiling her gentle smile.

“I do. But she's made it very clear that she doesn't want to hear anything like that from me and has assured me that I won't play her the fool a second time.”

“But if you love her, you wouldn't be.”

“I know that, but she doesn't. All she knows is that I walked away from her once.” He blew out a deep breath. “The thing is that as good-for-nothing that I was, I'd never have walked out on her if I'd known there was a baby. I'd never do to a child of mine what our mother did to us. I know how badly that hurts and how deep those scars go.”

Caleb shot a look to Abby, who nodded.

“What?” Gabe asked, sensing something afoot.

“Frank told me a story about that, and maybe when you hear it, you'll be a bit more sympathetic to our mother.”

Gabe gave a disbelieving snort, a bit surprised by Caleb calling Libby “mother.” Neither of them had called her anything but her name for years, and their father had always been Lucas.

“I doubt that,” he said, “but feel free to enlighten me.”

“The way I remember it is that Lucas led us to believe that Mom fell for this guy, wanted to go away with him and just walked away from us,” Caleb said.

“That's the way I remember it.”

“Frank says that isn't the truth. She wanted to take us to Boston for a visit, but Lucas wouldn't let her. So some visitors came to visit from back East. Lucas claimed she fell for the guy and caught them together in a compromising situation. Frank had a hard time believing that, since he said she'd never been anything but the devoted wife and mother.”

“Okay...” Gabe looked at his brother. “So what did happen?”

“By all accounts, Lucas beat the guy up, which Frank says Edward Stone can verify, and told Mom he wanted her gone. She packed up everything, including you, and the wagons were loaded to go to the train station. They were going to pick me up at school when they got to town.

“When they were ready to pull out, Lucas ordered Frank to unload our trunks and bring you to him. He said there was no way Libby was going to take his sons away from him.”

Gabe's frowning gaze focused on his brother. “He forced her to leave without us?”

Caleb nodded. “Frank said Mom went a little crazy, trying to grab you back, pleading, crying and yelling that he couldn't do that to her. He told Frank and Micah that if they didn't do what he said, he'd see to it that they never worked around here again. He told her there was no way she could fight him, so for her just to go back East and make herself a new life. He'd see about the divorce. Do you remember any of that?”

Gabe shook his head, though a wisp of memory—a beautiful dark-haired woman cradling his face while tears streamed down hers—drifted through his mind like smoke on a capricious breeze. Was it real or only an image that flashed into his mind as his brother described the day that defined his entire life?

“She said that if she couldn't take us, she wouldn't leave, and Lucas told her that if she didn't go quietly, he'd see to it that she and her family paid.”

Gabe regarded Caleb in disbelief. “So she didn't leave us behind because she didn't want us.”

Caleb shook his head. “She left because she knew Lucas was right, that there was no way she could win against his money and power. After she was gone, he gathered up everything she'd left behind and burned it. What wouldn't burn he buried out back.”

“That place we always thought was an animal grave?” Gabe queried.

“Yep.” One corner of Caleb's mouth lifted into a derisive smile. “Sort of puts things into a whole different perspective, doesn't it, little brother?”

“Yes.” Gabe frowned. “Do you think that's why Lucas treated us the way he did?”

“Who knows?”

“I wonder if that's why he paid me to leave?”

Caleb and Abby exchanged confused looks. “What do you mean, paid you to leave? You went to him and asked for your inheritance.”

“Where did you get that idea?” Gabe asked. “I was so fed up one day that I spouted off to him. Nothing unusual about that, right? I told him I couldn't stand the sight of him, and I couldn't wait for him to die so that I could get my inheritance and put him and Wolf Creek far behind me.” He shrugged. “I think I hoped it might hurt him, to pay him back for the way he was always hurting us.

“Whatever I hoped for didn't work. He didn't look like it fazed him one little bit. He stared at me while he chewed on the end of his cheroot. Then he said he was sick to death of the sight of me, too, because every time he looked at me he saw Mama's face. Then he just walked away.

“I figured everything would go back the way it was in a day or two, but the next afternoon he handed me a wad of cash and told me what arrangements he'd made at the bank for me to get the rest of it. Then he told me to pack my bags and get out, the sooner the better, and he specifically told me to never come back as long as he was alive, so I didn't.”

Caleb and Abby looked as if they'd just been knocked for a loop. Caleb shook his head. “I had no idea. I knew the two of you were mad at each other, but that was pretty common. I've always thought you asked him for your part.”

“Not exactly,” Gabe said. “When I looked back later, it was almost as if he was glad to see me go, like it would be a relief to be rid of me. I tried writing a few times, but I figured out pretty quick he had no intention of answering, so I stopped. I'm not going to lie about it. I had a great time for several years. But it gets old.”

“What? Traveling?”

“The traveling was great. Seeing all those places was fantastic, though I'm not sure I really appreciated them at the time. What gets old is trying to satisfy every one of your heart's desires. It loses its luster after a while.” He smiled at his brother and sister-in-law. “Like I said before, you were the lucky one. You have everything that's worth anything right here in this house.”

Caleb reached out and took Abby's hand. “You're right,” he said. “I do.”

* * *

Rachel entered the parlor, her spirits low, her feet dragging.

“Not much need my asking how your day went,” Edward said, taking in his daughter's countenance with one quick glance. “Bad, I gather.”

“Worse than bad. A couple of ladies actually turned their backs on me when I spoke to them on the street, and Mrs. Taylor canceled the appointment for Sophie's follow-up on her sore throat.”

“They'll put aside all that holier-than-thou snobbishness the first time someone gets bad sick and they need a doctor.”

“I suppose you're right.” Rachel tugged off her bonnet and dropped it onto a chair. “Then, to pile on the agony, I was leaving Ellie's and who should walk in but Sarah herself. To see her face plastered with that smirk of hers while she looked me over with that superior expression, people would never know she'd done her best to ruin three people's lives. She was so sickeningly sweet to me I thought I might upchuck. Dreadful woman!”

Edward laughed. “Pour yourself a cup of coffee, my dear, and settle down. This, too, will pass.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I do.”

Rachel poured her coffee, added her requisite two spoons of sugar and a dollop of cream and plopped down across the table from her father. “Where's Danny?”

“He wanted to go see Gabe.”

“And you let him?” Rachel almost screeched.

“I thought the two of you had agreed that Gabe could be in Danny's life, at least in a limited way.”

“We did, but...”

“But someone will see him there and there will be more talk,” Edward said, an expression of mock horror on his face. “They probably will, but the die is cast, Rachel. Any harm that's going to happen has already been done, and if Gabe is to be part of Danny's life, it follows that they'll be seen together. Besides, I have a feeling that he and Gabe can handle anyone who gets out of line.”

“Do you think so?”

“I know so. When I look at Gabe Gentry now, I see a man who is finally coming into who God meant him to be, and I believe with all my heart that he loves Danny, and that he will protect him as best he can.” He smiled. “Besides, I think Danny is pretty good at taking up for himself when he needs to.”

“I suppose,” she said, but she didn't sound convinced.

* * *

The objects of Rachel's concerns, all three of them, were at that moment in the mercantile. Danny was learning the intricacies of chess from old Mr. Jessup. Gabe was putting out a new order of abalone buttons in the dry-goods section, longing for the last hour to pass so he could close the store and take Danny fishing. Sarah was looking through the rack of new spring dresses that had arrived the day before.

Even knowing that she was the creator of the tension that fairly crackled through the air, nothing would alter Sarah's regular excursions to the store, since she couldn't bear the notion that something new might come in and she wouldn't be the first in town to have it. Gabe didn't mind. She was a good customer, and as he'd told Caleb, he could be nice to anyone—well, almost anyone—for an hour or so. No sense cutting off his nose to spite his face, and it gave him a chance to practice forgiveness.

It was hard, but the preacher had told him and Rachel that it was important to perform the outward acts of forgiveness while praying and waiting for God to make them feel it in their hearts. He'd explained that in his experience, only a rare few could be cut to the quick by another and immediately cede pardon to the person responsible for inflicting that pain.

As a reminder to himself and his customers that everything said and done affected others in either a good or bad way, Gabe had bought a big framed slate and wrote a daily scripture on it. He also listed people in town who were in need of prayer for one reason or another.

The day's scripture from Proverbs read: “Pleasant words are a honeycomb sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” As a reminder to do the right thing, he glanced at it often as his gaze followed Sarah's meanderings through the store.

“Hey, Gabe!” Danny called. “Mr. Jessup says I'm gonna make a whale of a chess player one of these days. He says I'm catchin' on faster than anyone he's ever tried to teach.”

Before Gabe could respond, Sarah exclaimed, “Master Daniel Stone! I'm sure you know better than to call an adult by his first name. That is ‘Mr. Gentry' to you.” She flashed a sly smile toward Gabe. “Or perhaps you should call Mr. Gentry
Father.
”

Uncertain how to answer, Danny's wide-eyed gaze sought Gabe's. Literally grinding his teeth, he winked at the child and cast a quick look at the scripture on the wall.
Please, dear Lord, give me the right words.