Love Inspired Historical March 2014 Bundle: Winning Over the Wrangler\Wolf Creek Homecoming\A Bride for the Baron\The Guardian's Promise (30 page)

The knowledge shamed him.

A glib apology couldn't begin to cover his faults, but still he searched his mind for words to ease her pain, knowing deep in his gut that there were none.

“I think I understand what you felt and why you still feel the way you do.”

The harsh laughter was back. “You understand nothing!” she said in a tone of deadly quiet. “Nothing. But you're a man, and men get to walk away. Women are the ones who pay, and I'll pay for my folly the rest of my life.”

She swiped at her tears with her fingertips. “Thanks to you, I learned never to trust anything a man says.” Empty of words, she felt the heat of anger drain away and turned to leave the room.

Gabe's voice followed her. “You must have trusted at least one man.”

She turned back to him with a blank expression.

“You must have trusted one other man,” he repeated. “You must have trusted Danny's father.”

She paled, and turning left him standing near the fire.

He closed his eyes against the pain.

She'd loved him.

Was it possible that he'd loved her but had been too immature and wrapped up in himself to realize it? He didn't know. All he knew was that staying would have meant putting an end to his roaming ways, and he hadn't been ready to do that. So he had moved on. He had walked away from the one bit of goodness in his sordid past, possibly the best thing to ever happen to him, and, he suspected, the one person who might have saved him from himself.

She'd moved on, too. She'd found someone who wasn't afraid to settle down. Someone who would cherish her enough to make her his wife.

Someone who had fathered her son.

That indisputable fact, more than anything she'd said to him, brought the most grief. The love he'd tossed away so carelessly, another had gained. Staying in Wolf Creek wouldn't be easy, for a lot of reasons.

* * *

When Rachel entered the kitchen, she was greeted by two pairs of questioning eyes. She wondered if either of them had heard the actual words of the argument, or if they'd just heard her voice raised in anger.

“He insists on moving to the boardinghouse after lunch,” she offered, hoping the statement would be enough of an answer to assuage their curiosity, at least for now.

“Ah,” Edward said, but the look in his eyes told her that he knew there was more than she was letting on.

“He isn't well yet,” Danny said.

Rachel stifled a sigh. Danny was becoming far too attached to Gabe. Another reason he needed to move on.

“That's what I told him, but he's a grown man and can do as he wishes.”

* * *

Though he would rather have walked over hot coals barefoot, Gabe went into the kitchen for lunch. The time for running away from his mistakes had passed. Rachel's color was still high, and her full lips were compressed into a tight line of disapproval. From Edward's forced smile and Danny's wary expression, Gabe knew they'd overheard the argument. Just another reason to be gone, he thought, easing himself into the straight-backed chair.

After Edward prayed, and everyone's plate was full, he broke the deafening silence.

“Rachel says you're planning to move to Hattie's this afternoon.”

“Yes.”

“Of course, it's up to you, but I'm not sure that's wise,” Edward told him. “You still have a long way to go to be really out of the woods. Why don't you stay until the weekend—three more days—so that we can monitor your progress a bit longer?”

“I'm not sure that's wise, either,” Gabe said cryptically.

“But you can't leave today.” Danny's voice was as near a whine as Gabe had ever heard. “You promised to play Chinese checkers with me this afternoon.”

Despite telling himself that he wouldn't, Gabe looked at Rachel. It was very possible that she was recalling—as he was—her scathing commentary about his lies, but she was concentrating on buttering a wedge of corn bread and didn't look up except to shoot her son a brief, grim look.

Drat it, he
had
promised! Though he would feel better if he left, was his peace of mind worth breaking a vow to a child? Hadn't he and Rachel just argued about how little his word meant? Hadn't he done enough hedging and misleading? Gabe's fingers tightened around his fork. Making atonement required much more and was far harder than he'd expected, but he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of saying “I told you so.”

He forced a tight smile. “That's right,” he said. “I did. I'll stay at least tonight, and then we'll see.”

* * *

After lunch, Danny took Gabe into the parlor and set up the Chinese checkers while Rachel began to clear the table.

“You may as well sit down and tell me what happened,” her father said. “You know I won't let up until you do.”

Rachel cast him a woebegone look. Edward's persistence in getting to the bottom of things was legend. “I thought it was pretty obvious that Gabe and I had words.”

“Indeed. But if I were a wagering man I'd bet it wasn't about his leaving.”

“And you would win that wager,” she said, turning her back on him.

Edward waited while she washed the glassware and then the flatware. Finally, she turned with a sigh and her signature, narrow-eyed look. “You are the most exasperating man I've ever known.”

“That's what your mother used to say,” Edward said, holding out his coffee cup for her to refill. “But I would have thought Gabe held that honor.”

“You're right. He does. He is.” She gave a reluctant, halfhearted smile. “Which makes you the second most irritating man I've ever known.”

“So what were the fireworks all about?”

“He said he knew he'd behaved badly and apologized.”

“And you yelled at him?”

Rachel's eyes widened. “What was I supposed to do? Tell him all was forgiven?”

“Yes.”

Rachel sucked in a shocked breath and stared at him for a few seconds more. Then, with an angry shake of her head, she turned back to her dishes. “You expect too much.”

“You've had years to come to terms with what happened, Rachel. Not forgiving isn't like you. You're one of the least judgmental, compassionate people I know, except evidently when it comes to Gabe, and maybe yourself.”

“How can I forgive myself?” she asked, scrubbing at a fork with excessive force.

“How can you not when you asked God for His forgiveness and He's given it,” Edward countered, his voice gentle.

“I'd like to think so,” she said with a sigh. “But how can He?”

“It's what He does.”

Again, Rachel stared at her father for long considering moments and went back to her dishes once more.

“Danny is very taken with Gabe,” Edward offered.

“I know. It's...concerning.”

“He's looking for a father figure.”

She whirled to face him. “You're his father figure.”

“I'm his grandfather. I do what I can, but it isn't enough. You have to tell him, Rachel.”

“I know!” she cried, turning back to her dishes. After a while, she asked without turning to face him, “Does Danny talk to you about Gabe?”

“Sometimes.”

“What does he say?” Though she couldn't find the courage to tell Danny the truth about Gabe, she still wanted to know what her son thought about the man who had fathered him.

Then again, maybe she didn't.

Edward smiled. “He wanted to know if I knew Gabe when he was a boy, and what he was like back then. I told him he was full of himself. Actually, he's asked me that about every unattached man in town.”

“He has?” Rachel couldn't hide her surprise. She'd never realized just how much Danny wanted a man—a father—in his life. She'd certainly had no idea he was gathering information about the town's bachelors, no doubt looking for one that fit his own personal criteria for a husband and father.

She would have to have that talk with Danny. Soon. Bringing her thoughts back to the present, she said, “Gabe was rowdy, wasn't he?” Her voice was almost wistful. “But I remember he was always friendly and nice to me.”

“Being rowdy doesn't begin to cover it and doesn't mean a person can't be nice as well as rambunctious,” Edward said. “Suffice it to say that I told Danny he reminds me a lot of Gabe. It seemed to please him.”

“He's nothing like Gabe!” Rachel said, appalled at the very idea.

Edward shrugged. “As I said, Danny is looking for someone he can look up to. He needs that, Rachel.”

“And you think he can look up to Gabriel Gentry?” she asked.

“I think that you aren't giving the man enough credit. Whatever he's been and done in the past does not mean he will say or do anything to taint your son, especially while he's living under our roof. And the very fact that he's come back to try to set things straight says a lot.”

“I suppose you're right.”

“Aren't I always?” Edward deadpanned.

“Right
and
conceited,” Rachel said, but she was smiling when she said it. “What about later? When he leaves here? What then?”

“He isn't physically able to leave town for a while, and it's the dead of winter. Once he goes to Hattie's, Danny won't see much of him, and I imagine Gabe will be gone by spring.”

Rachel shook her head.

“What?”

“He told me he isn't leaving. He's staying in Wolf Creek.”

Edward's gaze met hers over the rim of his coffee cup, his expression thoughtful. “Won't that be interesting?”

* * *

Hattie's Hotel and Boardinghouse looked a mile away from Rachel's front porch, where Gabe stood, his carpetbag clutched in his “good” hand. It held nothing but a change of clothes and his shaving gear, but it already felt as if it weighed a hundred pounds. He wished he'd listened to Edward, who had offered to have Roland drive him over.

It was spitting sleet, and the hotel, which sat on the corner just beyond the railroad track, was a blur in the distance. Not that far, really. Getting there shouldn't be too taxing, even with his injuries. He made his way carefully down the steps and the path.

He had given in to Edward's persuasion and stayed the three extra days, spending as much time as possible with Danny, since the boy seemed so needy for a friend. His obvious yearning for male companionship brought back painful memories of that same need. Gabe knew what it was to ache for approval, and how it felt to crave a smile or even a word of scolding that would prove that Lucas realized he existed.

Lucas had never been there for Gabe or Caleb in any meaningful way. The closest anyone came to fulfilling the role he'd abdicated had been Frank, their hired hand.

Edward Stone was a good grandfather, but his stroke had left him unable to share many activities with the boy—especially outdoor activities. Edward had mentioned that Danny liked fishing, and before he realized his intent to do so, Gabe had offered to take him to the creek when the weather grew warmer. The suggestion had brought a wide smile to Danny's face.

He'd seen little of Rachel the past three days except when she came to check his injuries. Strangely, the animosity had all but disappeared, and she now treated him in a far different way. Not friendly, exactly. Civil. It was an improvement.

He found himself longing to have a normal conversation with her, like those they'd shared in St. Louis. He wanted to hear if her hopes and dreams had changed and if her work in Wolf Creek was as fulfilling as she'd expected, but he figured a heart-to-heart talk was way out of the realm of possibility, at least for the time being.

She might be unwilling to forgive him just yet, but clearly she'd forgotten how single-minded he could be when he decided he wanted something. He would do everything in his power to gain her pardon. It was something he had to have if he was to ever move on with his life in any meaningful way.

A frigid wind blew the icy particles against his face, stinging like hundreds of tiny needles. The ground was already covered with a thin layer of the wintry precipitation that made every step treacherous, especially for an injured man.

He turned and looked back at the house. It would be so easy to go back, but something told him it would be easier to gain Rachel's forgiveness, and far easier on both of them if he wasn't around to remind her of the past.

He'd made the break, and nothing but a terrible setback would make him return to Rachel's home.

* * *

With her brow furrowed with worry, Rachel stood at the window, the fingertips of her right hand pressed against her mouth, the lace curtain pushed aside so that she could better see Gabe's progress along the treacherous road. He slipped a little. She gasped, and her heart flew to her throat. Ridiculous, irritating man! Exasperation nudged aside her concern. He'd had no business leaving, and he certainly should not be walking in this icy downpour. He'd catch his death of a cold, and then he'd be right back here.

Well, leaving was what he wanted, and she'd never held a patient hostage before. Good riddance to him! She wouldn't have to cook and do laundry for another person and wouldn't have to wait on him hand and foot. No more arguments. No more frustration and anger. Maybe her life could get back to normal now.

She let the curtain fall back into place and turned away, her gaze roaming the empty room. The problem with normal was that it was terribly dreary sometimes.

Chapter Four

R
achel carried an armload of fresh linens into the bedroom Gabe had used. He had been gone a week and thus far she had refused to admit she missed him. All she would admit was that she missed doing things for him. She'd become accustomed to checking on him before she made her daily calls and again when she came in. She missed seeing him at meals, and it seemed that without his clothes, even the laundry seemed lacking somehow.

She placed the sheets and towels into the linen press, closed the doors and turned to lean against them, letting her bleak gaze roam the room. There was no sign he'd ever been there beyond the memory of his dark head against the pillows and the way he watched her with that intense blue gaze as she treated his injuries—a look that, despite all attempts to not respond, made her heart pound, as aware of him as she'd ever been.

Tears burned her eyes. That was the problem. She might tell herself she was over him. She might claim to despise him, but what she really despised was the fact that she wasn't over him and couldn't rout him from her mind or her heart.

Heaven help her, despite everything, she still loved him.

It made her furious and at the same time miserable. Had she learned nothing nine years ago? Was she deficient of even one ounce of intelligence or self-respect? Was she so weak and lonely that she was willing to ignore the pain and shame of the past and fall willy-nilly into his arms again?

No. She had determined that, no matter what, she would not fall for his flattery and lies a second time. In her orderly, play-by-the-book mind, the fact that she missed him was tantamount to a character flaw. She was no longer the innocent she'd been when she first went to St. Louis.

She'd learned a lot of important lessons through the years. Feelings could be suppressed, ignored and even manipulated if you tried hard enough, and she intended to try very hard to rid herself of the renegade emotions she felt for Gabe.

She would fight them with work and common sense, and if that wasn't enough to keep her from entrusting him with her heart, she would play her trump card: Danny.

Her heart was one thing—Danny's was quite another.

Edward claimed Danny craved a father, so maybe she'd consider trying to give him one. That would drive Gabe Gentry from her mind. She had always expected to marry someday; how could she hope to find love and a father for Danny if she didn't give the single men in town a chance? Maybe it was time for her to start accepting some of the offers of courtship that came her way. Unfortunately, single men were few and far between. She'd had high hopes for Colt Garrett when he'd first come to town as the new sheriff, but there had been no romantic spark between them. Still, she had not abandoned the dream. There was always the off chance of a miracle happening.

She heard Danny's voice in the kitchen. He was more or less himself since Gabe had moved to the hotel, but there were times she caught him staring off into space as if he were miles away, and she knew he was suffering the loss of his new “friend.” In retrospect, she was glad she hadn't caved to her father's wishes and her own guilt and told Danny that Gabe was his father. If she had, chances were that he would be even deeper in the doldrums.

Shaking off her dark mood, she pushed away from the linen press and turned toward the door. The Bible promised that these troubled, unsettled feelings Gabe's return had stirred would pass. She wished they would hurry.

* * *

As the weeks passed and his body healed, cabin fever almost drove Gabe to insanity. Caleb, his well-read, book-educated brother, had brought him a stack of books and periodicals from his extensive library and Gabe had read until he thought his eyes must surely cross.

Inevitably, his thoughts turned to how he was going to spend the rest of his life. Though he claimed he'd come home to stay, he had no idea how he might make a living. The time he spent recuperating gave him ample time to think about his future, but thoughts and dreams could only fill so much of a day, and boredom had not just staked a claim, it had homesteaded.

At the end of January, on one of the unexpected balmy winter days not uncommon to southwest Arkansas, Caleb picked up Gabe for Sunday dinner after the morning church service. Though neither of them would claim they were friends, they were trying to put the past behind them and see if there could be more to their relationship than enmity and hard feelings.

Wearing a wide smile, Abby met them at the front door and gave Gabe a hug of welcome. Something close to embarrassment flooded him. Friendly hugs were not something he'd experienced often. The unexpected gesture left him feeling a bit self-conscious.

“None for me?” Caleb asked when Abby turned to hang up Gabe's coat.

A becoming blush crept into her cheeks. “Oh, you!” she said, but grabbed his coat front, pulled him close and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. Gabe noticed how her hands lingered on Caleb's chest and was stunned when his brother dropped another kiss to her mouth.

Gabe was amazed by the obvious love between his brother and Abby. The grave, exacting Caleb whom Gabe recalled from their youth was gone, and in his place was a man satisfied with his lot in life. His brother was happy. Content. Though Gabe was genuinely delighted for him, he admitted to being a tad jealous.

Like forgiveness, he wondered if he would ever experience the love and happiness surrounding his brother or know the kind of satisfaction reflected in his eyes. He knew there were young women around town who thought he was handsome despite the scar on his cheek, but he had no interest in giggling, blushing girls. There was even a widow or two who cast doe eyes at him whenever he passed them on the sidewalk, but no one so far had prompted a smidgen of interest.

Knowing it was foolishness on his part, yet unable to stop, he measured every female against Rachel, and they all came up lacking. Since it was pretty clear that she was unlikely to ever forgive him, he saw his life stretching out into a long, endless expanse of regrets. He was left with the distasteful possibility that if he were to marry, he would be forced to settle for less than his heart's desire.

Abby lost no time introducing “Uncle Gabe” to the children. There was her son, Ben, who was obviously as fond of Caleb as he was the boy, and two-year-old Laura, who vied with her brother for Caleb's attention. Then there was one-year-old Betsy—whose mother had died at her birth, bringing Abby into their lives—and baby Eli, barely a month old.

Frank and Leo showed up to share the meal, and there was much laughter and many reminiscences as they ate. Frank had no compunction about trotting out Gabe's misdemeanors one by one, and Gabe was surprised when everyone, including Caleb, laughed at the reminders of some of his most memorable antics.

He finally begged Frank to be quiet so his less-than-sterling past would not tempt young Ben to follow in his uncle's footsteps. Frank agreed with a throaty laugh, and Gabe was struck by how different this meal was compared to meals when Lucas had presided over the dinner table.

“Just in case things get chaotic later and I forget, I want to ask you to join us at Wolf Creek Church next week,” Abby said. “Well, join Caleb, anyway. It's still too cold to get Eli out, so the little ones and I will be staying at home for a bit yet.”

Church? Gabe knew from several conversations with Ellie at the café that Abby was a devout Christian and that his brother had rededicated his life the past summer, just one more change Abby Gentry had brought about. But church for himself? Gabe wasn't so sure about that, and he was less sure how the membership would accept him, considering his past.

“I'll think about it.”

“See that you do,” Abby said in her best schoolmarm voice, but she tempered the comment with a smile.

When they finished eating, Frank and Leo headed for the bunkhouse, and Caleb started to help with the dishes, another in a growing list of mind-boggling changes time had wrought in his brother.

Abby refused his help, shooing him toward the door. “I'll give you time off since Gabe is here. Why don't you two take your coffee into the parlor and catch up?”

As the two headed for the doorway, she called Caleb's name. When he turned, she smiled and said, “Just so you know, you needn't think I'll make a habit of it.”

“No ma'am,” Caleb said with a smile. He led the way to the parlor.

The brothers settled into their preferred chairs and spent several minutes talking about the books Gabe had read.

“I know reading can get tiresome,” Caleb told him, “but I have plenty more titles I think would interest you. I don't think you'll be ready to look for a job just yet,” Caleb said.

“Probably not,” Gabe agreed, “and even if I were, I have no idea what I'd be good at or what I might like. How did you know what you wanted to do with your life, and why on earth did you stay with farming after having it crammed down your throat?”

There was little humor in Caleb's laughter. “If you'll recall, I wasn't given a choice,” he said. “You took off and Lucas made it very clear that he expected me to ‘step up,' as he put it.”

Gabe felt another surge of the guilt that had often beset him since returning to Wolf Creek. No acts of contrition or request for forgiveness would ever be enough to make up for how he'd wronged the people in his past.

“Besides,” Caleb continued, “as you pointed out, I knew farming inside and out, and I was pretty good at it. Then one day I realized I actually liked it.”

“Thank goodness for that,” Gabe said. “I can't say that anything in my background has given me any credentials. Gambling and carousing aren't much as job experience goes.”

“I've been thinking about that,” Caleb said, after a slight pause. “Abby and I have talked about it.”

Gabe waited, uncertain if he liked being the topic of dinnertime conversation, yet knowing that it was inevitable, not just with Caleb and Abby but the whole town.

“You know that when Lucas died, he left everything to me, since you'd already received your inheritance.”

Gabe nodded and shrugged. “As was only right and fair.”

Caleb took a deep breath. “Maybe so, but nevertheless, I want to offer you a half interest in the farm, if you're willing to do half the work.”

Gabe's startled gaze searched his brother's. In his wildest imaginings he would never have expected such a generous offer. “You aren't serious?”

“I am,” Caleb said, reaching for the cup of coffee he'd brought from the kitchen.

“But why?”

“It was Abby's idea,” Caleb confessed. “And I'd be less than honest if I didn't tell you that it didn't sit well at first.” He drew in another breath. “Then I started thinking about it, and she's right. You're as much Lucas's son as I am, and there's more than enough for the two of us.”

Gabe stared at his brother. Just as there was no doubting the sincerity of his confession, there was no doubting the sincerity of the offer. Gabe had to blink back tears. He heard the trembling in his voice as he said, “I can't thank you enough, Caleb. It's a more-than-generous offer, and I realize you're giving me a wonderful opportunity, but it isn't fair to you. I got my part, and I threw it away. This farm is yours, so if it's all the same to you, I'll pass.”

Caleb sat up straighter. “Why? I thought you were planning on staying around here.”

“I am.”

“Well, if you're worried about the cost, let me be clear. I'm not offering to
sell
you part of the farm. I'm
giving
it to you.”

“Again, I thank you, but the answer is no.”

“Then—”

Gabe held up a silencing hand. “What you've done means more to me than you'll ever know, considering the way things have always been between us, but I won't take you up on your offer because I know in my heart that, unlike you, farming isn't for me. Besides, it's your farm, Caleb. Always will be. You've given it your blood, sweat and tears your whole life. Lucas didn't
give
you anything. You paid for it. Every acre. Every fence post. Every head of livestock.”

“But what will you do?” Caleb's expression was troubled.

“I'm not sure, but something will come along,” Gabe said. “It always does.”

* * *

By the end of February, spring was making promises everyone knew she would not keep. Gabe smoothed his shirt collar as a loud rapping sounded at his door. Caleb, no doubt. Abby had been unrelenting in her pleas for Gabe to attend church. Until today, he'd managed to put her off with the excuse that his ribs just weren't up to sitting so long in the hard pews. But with the thrashing he'd received two months past, he was feeling much better, and Abby had declared that his excuse was getting old.

So here he was, dressed up in his Sunday best and waiting to come face-to-face with people who'd known him since birth. People who knew about his many youthful escapades...and indiscretions.

Though the room was a bit chilly, Gabe broke out into a sweat just thinking of the gauntlet he was about to run. He took a steadying breath and flung open the door. If he intended to make a life here, the time for hiding was past.

It was time to face the music.

Time to pay the fiddler.

* * *

Gabe followed his brother and Abby into the small church, certain he'd never been more uncomfortable in his life. Expecting censure, he was surprised when a tall, heavy-set man with salt-and-pepper hair and matching beard covering his fleshy cheeks spoke to Caleb and Abby then grabbed Gabe's hand and began to pump it up and down.

“Gabriel Gentry! It's good to have you.”

Taken aback by the man's enthusiastic welcome, Gabe barely managed a weak smile. “Thank you.”

“You remember me, don't you? Earl Pickens?”

Earl Pickens. Gabe did remember him. “Do you still have the newspaper?”