Love Forever After (Candle Light Series) (13 page)

I looked around the busy house. There were balloons, snacks, candy and toys everywhere. Children were running around in the yard screaming and shouting happily. It was Kristy’s fifth birthday and I was making an event of it. She wasn’t going to turn five again. I invited all the kids in the neighbourhood, her entire class and some of her teachers- the teachers were more for help than anything else. Some parents saw the party as a way to get their children out of the house for a
private
Valentine’s party.

“Will, where’s Kristy?” Sandra had my two year old nephew on her hip. Eric was busy tagging on the lollipop stuck on his shirt. I laughed as I watched him struggle with it; his little face creased showing how much effort he was putting into it.

“Isn’t she outside playing?”

I took pity on him and pulled it off for him. His face lit up as he smiled. He reached out and grabbed the lollipop from me and stuck it back into his mouth. Sandra watched him, not at all surprised.

“He got that from his father. No she’s not outside. I’ll go look for her and change Mr. Charming too.”

“No, I’ll go find her she must be in her room.”

I rushed up the stairs and walked down the short hall way to her room. She had drawings and pictures of animals and trees on her door. I smiled, she was becoming more and more like her mother. Kristy was a big follower of recycling and she didn’t litter and she didn’t see why someone else should. On the weekends we would go around picking up litter around the neighbourhood- it was her favourite time of the week. I just feared for the day she’ll realise that we eat animals, which would tear her little heart up.

It frightened me sometimes thinking that she would be an activist too when she grew up. With all the things changing and going wrong in the world, there will be more reasons to protest, more things to fight against, and more desperate people willing to do anything to draw that kind of attention from them. I didn’t want her to end up like her mother; it would kill me if anything happened to her.

I was about to knock when I heard her little voice from the other side of the door. She was talking to someone. I couldn’t hear what they were discussing but I heard her loud sweet soft giggles.

“Did daddy really do that?”

They were talking about me. I took that as my cue to go in, “What did daddy do?”

Kristy was sited on the floor with two of her dolls. She looked at me, her face was pulled down and her eye brows were raise. Her eyes looked big and sad and she had pulled her lower lip into her mouth. It’s the guilty look she usually gave me when she knew she was in trouble.

What did she do wrong now?

I looked around her room. There was no one else in it. Who was she talking to then?

“Kristy, what did you do and where is your friend?” I walked to the closet and opened it, there was no one there. I walked to her and knelt down and looked under the bed. Empty. Unless he or she went out the window there was no other way out, nor no where else to hide.

I sat next to her. She still had that guilty look on her face. “Kristy you haven’t answered me.”

Her face lit up, her lips curved upwards in one of her adorable smiles. She raised the doll close to my face, “Doesn’t Cinderella look pretty?”

She was trying to change the subject. Then whatever she did was bad. Who did she do it to?

She had developed a confidence no child at her age should have and most adults took years to learn. She spoke her mind and called you out when you did something she considered wrong. Once she accused the neighbour for killing a tree-he was chopping it down because its roots were breaking the house’s foundation. Another time she stopped a woman on the streets and asked her if her handbag was made out of real crocodile skin, when she said yes Kristy asked her how she would feel if someone made a purse with her skin. Her confidence had gotten her in trouble a couple of times but I was still proud of her. I didn’t want to stop her from being herself, but I had to teach her how to approach people and appropriately discuss her opinions on what they are doing wrong.

I took the doll and put it down, “Stop trying to change the subject. Let’s start with what you did wrong?”

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” her voice was firm and levelled. She was telling the truth. She shifted and sat on her legs facing me.

“I believe you. That brings us to my next question, who were you talking to?”

“Is the clown here already? I promised Aunt Sandra I’d help with Eric, I should go.” She stood up and tried to run for the door. I stretched out and caught her before she got too far. I lifted her and placed her on my lap to face me.

“You are not going anywhere until you tell me who you were talking to?”

“But daddy my birthday party has already started!” She whined.

“Quit stalling and spill.”

She looked down at her intertwined fingers. What ever it was she wasn’t comfortable sharing it with me. That scared me; she never hid anything from me, “Sweetheart you know you can tell me anything right?” I kept my voice light and at ease. She nodded, keeping her gaze fixed on her hands. “Then tell me what’s going on?”

“She told me not to tell,” her little voice came out as a whisper.

I could feel the anxiety rise inside me, but I kept my voice light. “Who did?”

“That’s one of the things she told me not to tell!”

“Do I know her?” Kristy nodded, “Is she at the party?” She nodded again, “could you point her out for me?”

Kristy’s head shot up and she scowled at me, “That would be telling!”

“Technically you won’t be saying anything.”

“Really daddy? You do know I’m five and not stupid?”

I laughed. I should have known she was too intelligent for that, “We’ve never kept secrets from each other, so how about you tell me. I promise you won’t get into trouble.”

She looked at me, and then she looked above me watching something for a few seconds. She smiled. I turned to see what had her so amused but there was nothing behind me. I turned and looked at her confused. She laughed and then hugged me.

“Mommy says to tell you not to worry and to give you a kiss.” She whispered softly in my ear then she kissed my cheek. She looked at me for a moment before she jumped off my laps and ran out the room.

I sat there shocked unable to move. I could feel my heart beat hard in my chest and my breathing was getting laboured. I stood up and looked around the room frantically. Kristy was back and our daughter had seen and talked to her. It had been five years since she stopped coming to me. The day our daughter was born was the day I said goodbye to her, forever and now she was back.

“Daddy lets go.” Kristy was at the door, staring at me with one of her adorable smiles.

“Is your mom here, right now?” I whispered to her as I went back to searching the room.

Kristy walked to me and held three of my fingers, “No, she left when I did.”

I looked down at her, “How long have you been talking to your mother?”

She lifted her tiny shoulder in a shrug, “She has always been around me ever since I was a baby. I saw her everyday. I started talking to her when I was grown up enough to talk.”

She was right. Her first word was mama. I thought every baby’s first word was mama and I didn’t think much of it. But she had been seeing her mother since she was a baby! I wasn’t going to chock it up to an imaginary friend because I’d seen her too. I was worried she might think that her mother was real, just like I did. When the delusion was over it broke me and I didn’t want her to go through that pain.

I crouched down to her level, “honey, you do know your mother is in heaven, that she doesn’t live on earth anymore?”

“I know mommy is dead, but she still visits me everyday. She told me she was my guardian angel and one day I won’t be able to see her anymore,” she was still cheerful, that didn’t make me worry any less.

“And you are okay with that?”

She nodded, “I’ll still know she’s with me and you.” She placed her small palm on my cheek, “She wants me to take care of you just like you take care of me.”

I felt like I was going to weep. I wasn’t raising our daughter alone, Kristy was helping me out just the way it was meant to be. Then I started laughing when the truth dawned on me. All this time I thought this beautiful confident girl was this perfect because of all my effort only to find out her mother had more to do with it than I did.

“Daddy you should have written mommy’s name on the cake too, it’s also her birthday.”

I stood up straight and walked to the door, my little girl skipping close to me, “Well you are both named Kristy, so both you’re names are on the cake.”

“Oh yeah! You are so clever daddy!”

“Thanks,” I picked her up and held her over my head. She spread her arms out and made like a plane as I rushed down the step. She was laughing hard when we got down. That was one stunt that has never gotten old as the years went by.

“Hi Uncle Morris!” she yelled between giggles. I handed her to Morris.

Morris hugged her then gave her a little box, “Hi little bug. Happy Birthday!”

“Thanks.” She got down and walked to the piling heap of presents in the living room, shaking the box close to her ear. Her shoulders drooped when she couldn’t figure out what was in it. She placed it down and ran outside to join the other screaming children.

“Hi Will. Why did you invite so many kids, I almost stepped on one on my way in,” Morris followed me to the kitchen. I took two beers out of the fridge and gave one to him. I opened mine and drank deeply. “If your mother sees you she’ll blame your
ungentlemanly
behaviour on my sister!”

My mother always found something to blame Kristy for. “Speaking of your sister, do you remember the time I believed she was still alive?”

“How can I ever forget? I thought you’d gone off the deep end for sure, until Sandra said she’d seen her once. What am I saying, Sandra is crazy.” He took a swig of his beer.

“What if I told you Kristy saw her too?”

Morris chocked on his beer. He coughed trying to speak at the same time, “Kristy saw her mother?”  It sounded more like a shocked statement than a question. I nodded, “Are you sure?”

“I found her talking to her today. According to Kristy, she’s been seeing her mother since the day she was born.”

Morris was quiet for a while, “Is lunacy contagious became as much as I love my sister I can’t have spirits walk up to me asking for change?” He joked but I could hear the fear at the edge of his voice. 

“Morris, I’m not crazy and neither is Kristy.”

“People say children can see spirits. Can you still see her?”

I shook my head, “The last time I saw her was when Kristy was born.” That day had been a perfect memory for me. It had become the first day of a new life, for both baby Kristy and I.

“I hope you didn’t do anything wrong because I don’t want to end up in a
Ghost Whisperer
episode,” Morris sounded uneasy.

“Kristy says her mother is here to watch over her. She knows she’ll stop seeing her soon but she’s glad she’ll still know her mother is everywhere with her. She’s okay with it.”

“Wow, she doesn’t trust you enough to leave you alone with your daughter. That’s harsh!” Morris laughed, “Just don’t tell your mother she has that shrink on speed dial. Did you tell Sandra?”

We walked out the kitchen and back to the living room, “Your sister worries too much, it’s better not to tell her for now.”

Sandra walked into the house as if on cue. She looked irritated. Her hands were clenched in tight fists. “Your brother is here. How is it you turned out so great and he’s such an ass! I’m going to check on Eric.” With a huff she left us and went upstairs stomping. Ron was the only one I knew who was capable of getting her so angry. We watched her, suppressing our laughs until she disappeared into the room.

“William, how’s my kid brother?”  Ronald’s cheerful voice boomed from the door.

“Hallo Ronald.” It was great seeing my brother again, but not so great when Sandra was around. He always managed to get under her skin. “You should leave Sandra alone, she’s married with a child.”

Ron laughed, “I thought she was lying to me just to get rid of me. Where is the lucky devil, I want to congratulate him?”

“Hi Ronald, he isn’t here he had to work,” Morris answered him. One would think as a big brother he would warn Ronald off but he didn’t. He found the whole situation comical.

“His loss my gain, I’ll have more time to spend with her without looking over my shoulder. You know Morris, if I get your sister to marry me all three of us will be brothers?”

Morris chuckled. “Yeah right, that will never happen.”

“A man can dream. William is that American beer you are drinking? Mother will have a fit if she sees you. She still blames the American air for the break down you had a few years ago.”

“How is mother?” I hadn’t seen her since I last went to England after Kristy turned three.

She didn’t like the fact I had a child with my dead wife but she still adored Kristy. She wanted me to put her in a private school in England so that she would grow up to be a well bred lady unlike her mother. I knew my mother was just informing me and she had already reserved a spot for Kristy. So the next day, we were on the earliest flight back home.