Love Confessed (16 page)

19
Leah

Thirty. I can’t believe I’m thirty today. When I was a teenager I imagined this day going a bit differently. I thought I would be hanging out with my best friends, shopping for the big party that would ensue that night. Of course as I got older, certain details of this day changed except for the party. In reality, I am working today. Thank God it’s Thursday, close enough to the weekend that I opted to take Friday off of work. Ever since Ethan was born I always made sure I took the weekends off for him, which is very difficult to do and still get ahead as a lawyer. Unfortunately, I bring work home most weekends and do it after he falls asleep.

Steve and I have only been dating for a few months, so when he asked me to go with him to a black tie ball that his company is doing, I try not to show my disappointment. Inside, though, the girl I have had locked up since my mom died and my grandpa got sick wants to cry. He has already planned to have a sitter watch the kids so I couldn’t decline. Plus I didn’t want to decline. It sounds like it will be very nice. Not the booty shaking, let your hair down and forget your worries kind of evening I had imagined for so many years, but nice.

“Hey gorgeous.” Steve says when I call his cell phone.

“Hi. How are you?” He still makes me a little nervous and I love it.

“Oh, just running around trying to make sure all of the last minute details are in order for tonight.” He sounds stressed and all I want to do is help him. “How is your day going?”

“Just doing the lawyer thing. You sound really stressed out so I will keep this short. I was just wondering what time I needed to be ready by.”

“I always have time for you. You should be ready by 6 o’ clock. The babysitter, Claire, will be coming to your place around 5:30. Do you mind picking up Abby after school?”

“Of course not. Good luck with everything. I’ll see you later.”

“Thanks. Can’t wait.”

At lunch I go shopping to find shoes to go with my ball gown. I found it yesterday and it’s not really a ball gown but it’s still very pretty. It is a simple black satin column dress with a short train and a deep V-neck line. The wow factor is the back. It is cut low, to the waist line and the two shoulder straps cross in the back where they are covered in silver diamond like jewels. After going to four stores I find the perfect black satin strappy heels and diamond drop earrings. All this shopping is making me get excited for tonight and I can’t wait to see how Steve looks in a tux.

I pick up the kids at 3 o’clock and head back to the office. I still have some things to finish before I can leave for the day. I set up a movie for the kids in my office and get to work. By 4:30 I pack my stuff up to leave. I could really use another hour or two but I just don’t have that kind of time to spare. As we are leaving I notice that my office is quiet, eerily quiet. Kelly is still here but it seems like no one else is.

“Hey Kelly, I’m headed out for the day and I won’t be in tomorrow.” I say still waiting for some kind of commotion.

“Have a great weekend.” She replies. It’s kind of a quick response for Kelly. Usually she chats with me for a minute, not that I mind because I’m in a little bit of a hurry but something feels off.

“Is anyone else here? This place is oddly quiet.”

“Oh… uh… I think most of them are in a meeting.” I can tell she’s lying to me but I don’t really have time to question it.

“Oh ok then. See ya.”

When I get home I have the kids do their homework while I get ready. I have decided to wear my hair in a loose side bun with my bangs sweeping the same way. I watched a video tutorial and it seemed simple but elegant and it would give me a chance to show off my new earrings.  At 5:30 the babysitter shows up and I let her in. She’s a shorter woman, around 50 years old with a kind face and big brown eyes. She’s Steve’s housekeeper turned nanny since Abby was born. He really trusts her so I know the kids are in good hands.

“Hi. I’m Leah, please come on in.” I greet her.

“Nice to meet you Leah. My name is Claire. Steve’s told me so much about you. You’re even prettier than he described.” When she comes in Abby rushes up to her screaming her name and gives her a big hug. Even though I’m pretty sure she just saw her yesterday but in six year old fashion she acts like it’s been years. It puts me at ease just a little more.

“Thank you.” I blush. I’m not sure what he tells people but apparently this is a popular reaction. “Please make yourself at home. This is my son Ethan.” I introduce her. He always takes just a minute to warm up to people. “Steve will be here at six and I’m not really sure what time the event is supposed to end. My guess is around eleven or midnight. If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to call us. I have my number written down here and I believe you have Steve’s already.” I show her around the apartment and then go back to getting ready. 

At six exactly Steve rings up to my apartment. I holler to Clair from down the hall asking her to buzz him in. When I come out to the living room everyone turns and stares.

“Wow!” Abby and Ethan say in unison. Ethan approaches me with caution, like I’m breakable or something.

“You look beautiful mommy. Can I marry you?” He makes me laugh. It’s been a few months since he has asked me this and I realize right now that I kind of missed it. It means he’s growing up.

“Thank you baby. You know you can’t marry me. But you will make a girl very happy one day.” I say hugging and kissing him. Then Steve is standing just inside the doorway. For at least a full two minutes we just stare at each other. The kids are shouting at us but the way he looks in his tux and the look in his eye has my mind racing.

“You look beautiful, as always.” He says breaking the moment and striding over to me, kissing my cheek. After briefly going over things with Claire, we hug the kids and leave. When we get downstairs he ushers me into a limo. I knew it was a black tie event so I’m not sure why I’m surprised by the limo. I guess it’s because I feel more like a guest than a part of the company who put it all together.

“A limo huh? Fancy.” I tease him when I sit on the bench seat. He sits right across from me.

“Absolutely.”  He grins. He pulls out a box with a corsage in it made out of small purple iris with white baby’s breath. I am completely taken back by this.

“A corsage? Are we going to prom or something?” I ask with a nervous laugh.

“Something like that? Now give me your wrist.” He says putting the corsage on my wrist. What does he mean something like that? I don’t understand. I thought this was a black tie affair not a senior prom for the local high school. If that’s what this is I will be so embarrassed. I can’t be this dressed up for a high school prom. I’m an adult for crying out loud. “Stop thinking Leah and just relax. Will you help me with mine?” He pulls his out and hands it to me. We both scoot forward and our legs intertwine with each others and for a brief second I forget where we’re going because all I can think about is having him naked and inside me right here in this limo.

“So help me Steve if we are at a high school prom,” I say as the limo comes to a stop. I look out the window and see that we are stopped in front of the Sheraton. I look at him confused. If this isn’t a high school prom what is with the corsage and boutonniere?

“Show time.” He says opening the door and stepping out taking my hand in his. We walk through the lobby to a banquet room. The doors are closed but I can hear the music coming from inside. He stops me at the doors and looks down into my eyes. “You told me once that you didn’t get to go to your senior prom. No girl should ever miss her prom. ” He kisses me gently and opens the door. Tears well up in my eyes and I take in a deep breath as we step inside. It’s dark and except for blankets of Christmas lights strewn above us to resemble stars. There are a about five strategically placed disco balls that hang from the ceiling with a light shining on them as they slowly turn in circles. The dance floor is huge and surrounded by tables draped in black linens. The place settings are formal and white with purple napkins on top, complete with wine glasses. In the center of each table is a bowl with floating votives and purple irises. The chairs are simple black spindle chairs with a white padded seat. There is a stage towards the back center of the room and the band is playing soft jazz music.

My tears have streamed down my dace and I turn to look at Steve. He’s watching me, watching my reaction. “I can’t believe you did this.” I say to him. He gently wipes the tears from my eyes careful not to smear my makeup.

“Happy Birthday, babe.” He says and kisses me. When I look at my surroundings again I notice everyone I know is here. The whole office, my Grams, my sister, my friends and even some people I don’t know but Steve does and I have a feeling that I will by the end of the night. They are all looking at me and I cover my face in complete embarrassment. I’m really not the kind of girl who likes to be the center of attention. As I make my way through the crowd everyone hoots, hollers and cheers then goes back to mingling amongst each other.

My Grams is the first person to come up to me and Emily is right at her side. Grams pulls me into a big hug and kisses my cheek.

“Happy Birthday, my sweet girl.” She says as she holds me.

“Thank you Grams.” Grams moves aside and Emily hugs me.

“Happy Birthday Sis.” She says

“Thank you.” I’m cordial with her but I’m not sure if I am over the fact that she saw Joseph behind my back and never said anything to me.

“Uhh… please don’t be mad at me but…” she starts and I see her staring over my shoulder so I turn around to see my father is standing next Steve. What the hell is he doing here?! I glare at my dad then look up at Steve who immediately comes to my side then back to my sister giving her a dirty look and finally back to my dad again. What the fuck is Emily thinking? Why on earth would I want to see the man who left us when we needed him the most? My blood is boiling with anger toward my sister. First the Joseph thing and now this?!

“Dad…what are you doing here?” I ask hesitantly.

“I didn’t want to miss my little girls thirtieth birthday. I realize Leah that I am the last person you expected to see tonight but I am hoping that you will give me another chance to be a part of your life. Please Leah. I know I messed up but I love you girls more than anything. I didn’t know how to handle the loss of your mother and I went about it the wrong way.” He takes a step towards me and reflectively I step back.

              “As you can see, I’m not a little girl anymore.  You couldn’t miss my thirtieth birthday party? You had no problem leaving me to take care of Emily and myself when I was thirteen. You didn’t care then. Am I really supposed to believe you care now? Are you drunk?” I spit the word at him venomously.

“No! No, Leah.” He rubs his forehead frustrated before continuing. “I’ve been sober for years now and I have been trying to reach out to you but you won’t take my calls or have anything to do with me. I get it Leah. I know I can’t pretend like that stuff never happened and I don’t want to, I just want a chance to know the woman you’ve become. Please. I’m sorry to do this here but I didn’t know when else I’d have the chance. I miss you. I’d like to get to know my grandson…” He pleads with me and I have nothing to say to him. It’s strange to me to see my father looking vulnerable and hurt because of me. It’s especially strange to see him sober. I know I should say something, should forgive him but I just stand there instead. I just stare at him. I see so much of myself in him. The only thing I really got from my mom is her eyes, which I am grateful for because I get to look at them every day. Remember her every day. The rest of me is my dad – the olive skin, the wavy brown hair, my height, most of my personality, it’s all him.

“I don’t have anything to say to you right now dad. If you’ll excuse me I am going to go and enjoy this wonderful party my boyfriend has put together.” I walk away, making a b-line straight to the bar. When I get there I order a shot of whiskey and a cosmopolitan. I’m so pissed at my family right now all I want to do is get drunk. “Ha. Guess it must run in the family,” I muse to myself. No! I am nothing like him. I would never do that to Ethan. I haven’t done it to him. I’ve been a single mom since he was born and he’s always been my top priority. I will never understand where my father comes from, how he could not put us first.

As soon as I set my empty shot glass on the counter, I feel arms wrap around my waist from behind and then the familiar scent of Steve calms me. I’m sure the whiskey is playing it’s part too, but just feeling his arms around me and his chin on my shoulder, I feel myself melt into him and sigh.

“I’m going to go out on a limb and say that was your dad since you look just like him. I’m sorry, Leah. I didn’t invite him. I wouldn’t have done that without talking to you. Do you want me to ask him to leave? Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. He can stay. I just wasn’t ready to see him. Let’s not talk about it tonight though,

I want to enjoy my evening.”

For a few minutes he just holds me and I let him because it’s what I need right now. After I get my bearings I turn around to kiss him and he sweeps me up in his arms, carrying me to join the rest of our friends on the dance floor.

*              *              *

Over the next few hours we eat, we drink and we dance. I can’t believe he put all of this together for me. I actually can’t even believe he thought to do this for me! Of all the ways I thought about my birthday this is beyond anything I could have imagined and I love him for making this happen. Oh my God. I love him. I don’t know why it’s taken me this long to see it or even admit it but I love him. All of this is hitting me while I’m in his arms swaying to “Kiss Me” by Ed Sheeran and it’s more than I can process. Deciding not to think about it now, I whisper in his ear “Wanna make this prom official and go upstairs?”