Love and Truth (29 page)

He covered my tiny hand with his and turned to look at me.

“How did I get lucky enough to deserve you, Nicole? You make me the happiest guy alive.”

He tangled our hands together and pulled them up to his lips, giving the top of my wrist a chaste kiss. This night had been amazingly perfect, and I wished it could last forever. I looked out across the island as we descended from the top, it was truly magnificent. Okinawa had definitely begun to capture my heart, just like the man sitting beside me.

We were on our way to the beach house and I couldn’t stop glowing from the wonderful night we had. He had the windows cracked and the cool breeze swept through my hair as we drove along the coast.

“So was your first date all you thought it would be?”

“It was amazing and perfect and wonderfully original to you. It was the best date I could’ve never even asked for because it was nothing I expected.”

He reached out, plugging in is iPod. He tapped in something on it and turned up the volume. He rested his hand on my leg and Daughtry played from the speakers.

“This is Daughtry, right?” I asked. “I don’t know this track though.”

“
Shhh,
just listen.”

I leaned back and closed my eyes, letting the song flow through me hanging on ever lyric. He sang about wearing his heart on his sleeve and how he couldn’t hide his feelings anymore, even though things might not end up like he wanted them to. His whole world had come undone by meeting someone like her. Tears pricked the back of my eyelids and squeezed my eyes shut tighter. Then I heard Jonathan start singing. He grasped my hand and I opened my eyes, turning toward him and listening.

I’m starting to believe that this could be the start of something good...

The song ended and I stared at him. His voice was amazing.

“
Start of Something Good
is the name of the track,” he said, grinning. My night was now complete after that song.

“I loved it. I’ll have to download it so I can listen to it every time I want to remember tonight. I’ve had the most wonderful time. Thank you for everything. It was perfect.”

We pulled into the beach house. Anxiety replaced my bliss because I knew what I asked from him tonight. We walked inside and kicked off our shoes. Jonathan carried my bag to the room for me.

“I know it’s been a long day for you with classes and everything. Plus, you have to get up early so we can go to bed now if you want.”

I relaxed at his words and smile. “Yes, that sounds great.”

He pulled of his shirt and my eyes instantly gravitated to his body like a magnetic force, pulling me in. He unbuckled his belt and took off his pants. Before he could see me ogling him, I turned around and ask him to unzip me.

“Most certainly,” he said. He brushed my hair to the side and pulled on the zipper with one hand as the other followed behind it, gliding over my bare back.

All anxiety rushed from my body, replaced with heat and longing. He kissed my shoulders and slid the thin material over them. My dress floated to the floor and pooled around my feet. I stood with my back to him in only my bra and panties. He ran a finger down my spine until he reached the top of my panties, where he traced the lace trim.

“These are sexy as hell,” he said, and I knew I’d be giving Emiko a huge thank you. I turned around to him slowly.

“Yes, I wore them for you. But if it’s too painful for you I can take them off.” I teased and rubbed my thumbs under the waistband, slightly tugging. Ferocity filled his eyes and he was speechless. He chewed his bottom lip and reached up behind me. He unhooked my bra and let it fall to the floor. He pulled me forward and our bare chests crashed into each other. He kissed me hard and I bravely moved my hands to his hips, sliding one hand across his toned stomach. I had no idea what the hell I was about to do, but I wasn’t going to think about it. I wanted to let things happen naturally with him. I wasn’t afraid anymore.

I ran my fingers under the waistband of his boxers, feeling him tense. He pulled away from our kiss, but I used my other hand, placing it quickly behind his head. I heard a guttural moan from deep inside him and his hands dug into my hips. I slid my hand under the cotton of his boxers and caressed him gently. He pulled away from our hungry kiss and tipped his head onto my collar bone. His breathing was ragged as his chest quickly rose and fell.

“Fuck,” he whispered in a pained tone. I continued gliding my hand up and down softly. ”Sweetheart, you need to–”

His words got lost as I wrapped my hand around him firmly. I felt empowered and wild. I released him and started to remove his boxers. He urgently grabbed my hands in one quick motion.

“No, Nicole.” He groaned and stepped back away from me. I shivered in the absence of his heated skin against mine.

“What’s wrong? Why are you pulling away from me?”

“You don’t have to do this. We don’t have to rush into anything. We should take this slow like I said before. We don’t need to rush this, okay?”

He stepped in closer but left some space between us. He put his finger under my chin tilting my head up.

“I’m sorry I pulled away from you. Your touch was spinning my body out of control and I had to pull away.” He could see the disappointment in my face. “Look, I promise you when the time is right it’ll all happen. Right now just let me hold you all night. Let me feel you hold me. That’s all I need tonight.” He wrapped his arms around me. “This right here is all I need.”

He kissed the top of my head, but instead of feeling cherished I just felt rejected and unwanted. He walked to his drawer and pulled out a grey T-shirt. He pulled it over my head, enveloping me with his scent.

“Now come on, let’s snuggle. Sleeping wrapped up in you last night was the best sleep of my life.”

I smiled and laid down.

Chapter Twenty

I awoke to the beautiful sound of piano music. I turned and glanced at the clock, and saw that it was just after 2 am. I threw the blankets back and tip-toed around to the living room. Jonathan was sitting at the piano with a distant, unreadable expression. His eyes were closed, his upper body swiveled, and his fingers danced across the keys. The soft, peaceful melody was lovely but unfamiliar. I leaned against the wall and soaked up the beautiful sight of him doing what he loved. He was miles away, lost in thought. I knew the feeling, because I sometimes lost myself when I danced. The soft light from the moon bounced off the ocean, giving the room a soft glow. It made the scene look like a picturesque dream. I couldn't resist going over to him for another minute. As I closed the space between us, he played the last notes of the song and slowly opened his eyes to meet mine. His green eyes were damp. He wasn’t crying, but it looked like he was fighting the urge. He was surprised to see me and quickly tried to fix his face, but it was too late.

"I'm sorry if I woke you. I couldn't sleep, and when I can't sleep it helps if I play a little."

He started to get up and I stopped him by sitting down beside him.

"No, it’s okay. I loved hearing you. It was beautiful. What were you playing?" I rested my head on his bare shoulder and intertwined my hand in his.

"It was just me playing around. It's nothing, just some random notes strung together." He squeezed my hand gently. I rubbed my cheek across his shoulder gave him a chaste kiss.

"What's wrong? You seem sad." "How could I be sad when I have everything I need right here?" He turned, wrapped his arm around me and rested his head on mine. I turned and straddled the piano bench. He pulled me in closer to him; I wanted to kiss him. Our breathing was perfectly in sync as I looked up at him. He stared at his hand as it moved slowly from my knee to my thigh. He reached the edge of the oversized T-shirt and ran his fingers just beneath the hem. He moved slowly and I could see the torment etched across his face. He looked up to meet my gaze. My breathing grew heavier and the desperation spread through my body. I felt like the room was caving in. His hand reached my hip and my stomach. I felt dizzy and my mind spun out of control. I knew I needed to sit still, because every time I made a move he retreated.

He glided his hand up the middle of my breasts and back down in a slow methodical manner. Goose bumps assaulted my skin. His fingers brushed just beneath the lace edge of my panties. I clenched my teeth and closed my eyes, trying to keep still. He pushed his hand under the silky fabric and around to my backside. His hand ignited my skin and I felt as though I could burst into flames. He leaned in and kissed me. This kiss was different. It was hungry and passionate. I couldn’t sit still for another minute, so I wrapped my arms around him and met his hunger. He slowly stood and pulled me with him. He scooped me up and walked to the bedroom without our mouths losing contact. He laid me down and crawled onto the bed, hovering above me. I reached up and caressed his back with my hands.

Finally, I felt the weight of his body pressed onto mine. His lips left my mouth and he trailed kisses down my neck. He pushed my shirt up and kissed the center of my chest. I arched my back toward him

“Jonathan, please.” I didn’t know what I was asking for, but my body was screaming.

He breathed on my skin, circling my breast with feathery kisses. His hand floated down between my legs and beneath the fabric of my panties. I tipped my head back and whimpered. My legs tensed, trying to adjust to the sensations coursing through me. The heated tension suddenly rose from within, like it did in the shower. I curled my toes and gripped the sheets. His mouth returned to my neck.

“Open your eyes,” he whispered. I opened them and he was staring at me. “Relax.” He wedged my legs apart with his knees and I relented. He smiled and ran his tongue along my jawline. I could barely take it. A ferocious need blazed through me, arming me with foreign courage. I reached down and tugged at his boxers. Our eyes met and we panted in unison. I managed to get them down to his ankles. I lifted my leg and pushed them down in one swift motion with my toe. He dropped his head to my forehead and let out a rush of air.

“Nicole, what are you doing?” he said through gritted teeth.

I ignored him and reached up, pulling his lips to mine. I thrusted my hips upward as his hand cautioned me.

“Don’t stop, Jonathan. Please, don’t stop.” I begged him as my body trembled.

“God, baby. You have no idea how badly I don’t want to stop.”

“Then don’t. Please be with me, Jonathan. I’m yours.”

I reached down in search of him. I touched his silky skin and said what I wanted.

“Make love to me…right now.” As the words passed through my lips I could barely believe it.

Suddenly, everything stopped. My body protested against the absence of his touch. He rolled onto the side of the bed and sat up, with his back to me.

“What’s wrong?”

”This...between us...is really important to me. It’s much deeper than physical attraction to me. I need you to be sure with more than just your body when we make love for the first time. I need you to know it’s right in every way. You should know it from deep down in your soul, and trust it with your heart and mind. I'm not accepting the single most sacred thing from you until you feel all of those things.”