Love And Coffee: A Cup Of Grace Romance Series Book 1 (16 page)

              “I’ll give you amenable,” Mrs. Roach said.  Mr. Roach shushed her.

              “What did you want to give?”  He asked.

              “We thought five hundred would be amenable,” Matt said, glancing at us

              We both nodded.  That was much better than five thousand.

              “What?  That’s highway robbery!” Mrs. Roach exclaimed.

              Mr. Roach looked at Matt then, said, “Yes, that’s fine.  We will expect a receipt in the mail within the week.”

              “Yes, sir, you’ll get one,” Matt said. 

He took down the Roach’s address and showed them to the door.

              Once they were out of the shop, I heaved a heavy sigh of relief.  “Oh my gosh. I can’t believe that’s over.”

              “You and me both,” Kathryn said.

              “So are we okay?” Jillian asked as we emerged from the back room.

              “We are okay,” I said with a smile.  We were going to be just fine.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

              Matt was smiling at me.  All I could do was look at him.  He was so handsome and strong.  The sun glinted off his armor, all polished shiny silver and gleaming.  I wished we had a camera to take a picture, but cameras hadn’t been invented in 527. 

              A roaring erupted behind me and I turned to see what it was.  I screamed when I saw it.  Its body was long and covered in scales.  It had two heads and they roared simultaneously.  The dragon.  Many in my family had been slain by the dragon and now it looked like it was my turn.  I screamed again.

              Then Matt was beside me.  He turned his head toward me and looked like he wanted to say something, but then he was gone, charging after the dragon.  I screamed at him to be careful.  I have no idea if he heard me because the dragon breathed fire on him and he was gone.  Vaporized.

              I awoke with a start and it took a few seconds for me to realize that it was a dream.  Just a
dream
, I kept saying over and over to myself.  I pulled the sheet back and sat up.  My body was damp with sweat.  What a crazy thing to dream about.

              I got out of bed, padded to the kitchen, and made a cup of coffee.  You would think that I would be all coffee’d out from being around it all day, six days a week.  Especially since I was always consuming copious amounts of it, but no.  I still loved it. 

It was Sunday morning and I was thankful that I had a day off.  Matt would be taking me to church shortly.  I had decided to go to his church for a while.  Just to check it out and see how it felt.  I loved my church, but I was beginning to feel like our relationship was semi permanent.  I wanted to try his church out to see if it felt like it could be home.  Part of me hoped it would and part of me hoped it wouldn’t.  Matt had agreed to try my church out as well.  We both wanted to go to the same church together.   It felt more solidifying.

While the coffee perked, I got myself dressed.  I wore the floral dress that I had worn on our first date.  I wanted to make a good impression on his friends at his church.  I had met several over the past couple of months when they came in to Cup of Grace, but I wanted to look nice today.

I shook off the memory of the dream when I opened the door to a smiling Matt an hour later. 

              “Hey,” he said and gave me a kiss on the cheek. 

              “Hey back at you,” I said.  “I’m a little nervous,” I confessed.

              “Don’t be.  These are nice people and you are going to love them.”

***

“God is good!” the pastor said and dismissed us. 

              I had to admit it.  I really liked Matt’s church.  It was big.  Much bigger than my own.  There were probably well over a thousand people there and the church had two services Sunday morning.  Wow. 

              “What did you think?” Matt asked me as he held my hand and we walked to his car.

              “I thought it was really good,” I said.  And I did feel that way.  But it felt a little funny, not being at my own church. 

              “And what was good about it?” he asked, tilting his head.

              “Ah, a test to see if I was paying attention,” I said, smiling.

              “No, I just want to see what you’re thinking about.  Call me nosey,” he said and opened the car door for me.  You got to love a man that opens your door for you.

              When he got into the driver’s seat, I answered him.  “I really like that there seems to be a lot of outreaches.  Lots of ways for people to get involved.  We’re a little small at my church, so there aren’t a whole lot of programs yet.  BUT, that also means there’s a lot of opportunities for people to get involved,” I said.  I wanted to make sure he was seeing things in a positive light when we talked about how small my church was.

              “That’s true,” he said.  He didn’t immediately start the car.  “I really want to get more involved.  I feel like I’ve lost my vision just a little bit.  I guess I keep bringing that up, though, don’t I?”

              “I guess that’s because of me?  And Cup of Grace?” I asked soberly.

              “No.  Not because of you.  If I had a job anywhere, not just the coffee shop, then there would always be the possibility of me not making time.”

              “But I’ve really monopolized your time.  Any other job would be forty hours a week and then you’d go homes.  Cup of Grace is six days a week with more than eight hours a day.”

              “Stop it,” he admonished.  “But I do want to say that I’m serious about this.  I want to make some changes in how I spend my time. And I want you to join my church.  I know I promised to visit yours, and I will.  But I really believe I’m where I’m called to be.  And I know if you visit a few more times, it will seem more like home.”

              I swallowed hard, remembering my dream.  Maybe I was the dragon?  Was I chasing him off with my selfishness?  Because I had no desire to join his church.  And missions?  Sure, I was concerned about people in foreign countries and someone had to go and share the gospel with them.  But me?  I just didn’t know.  And I couldn’t bear to leave my church and all the people there that I loved.

              “Matt?” I asked.

              “Yes?”

“Are you happy?  With me, I mean?”

              “Of course I am,” he said and put his hand on mine.  “Honey, I’m talking about getting more involved at church, not spending less time with you.”

              I looked at him.  I just wanted to be with him.  Maybe I wasn’t serious enough.  Maybe I wasn’t dedicated enough.  He would surely realize this and find someone that was, wouldn’t he?

              He studied my face for a few moments.  “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

              I wanted to.  I wanted to tell him how scared I was that I was going to lose him.  But would he understand?  Would he care?  I couldn’t expect him to put me before God.  I wouldn’t expect that.  I didn’t know what to say because no answer seemed right.  I took a deep breath and felt tears rolling down my cheeks.

              His eyes widened.  “Tara, what is it?”

              I forced myself to smile and wiped my cheeks.  “Nothing.  It’s just that, I am so blessed to have someone like you in my life.  Someone that is so dedicated to the Lord.”  And I was.  I kept my fears to myself.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

              “So, what are you and Matt up to these days?  I mean, away from Cup of Grace, of course,” Kathryn said sweeping the back room.  We had stayed late Saturday night to do a little deep cleaning.

              I smiled.  “Oh you know, the usual.  A couple rounds of miniature golf, dinners out, and a movie or two.”

              “And?”

              “And nothing.  You know.  The usual.”  I felt a little reluctant to talk about what was really going on.  Meaning, I was unsure of where our relationship was headed.  I took some disinfectant wipes and wiped down the desk.  Sure, Matt had said he was happy being with me, but would he still feel that way if I said I had no desire to do missions work?

              “Oh, well I was hoping for something a little more juicy.”

              “I’m sure you were,” I said with a chuckle.  I ran the wipe deeper into the computer keyboard.

              “How did you like his church?  We missed you Sunday.  You need to go back to doing the announcements.  Nellie is okay, but it isn’t quite the same.”

              “Reading announcements doesn’t take a lot of talent, Kathryn.  After all, that’s why I was allowed to do it,” I said with a smirk.  “I liked his church.  It sure was big though.  I missed not knowing everyone there.”

              “Pshaw, you’re the best announcement maker ever,” she said.

              “Pshaw? Now there’s something you don’t hear every day,” I said and laughed.

              “You know what I think?” she asked, squatting down to sweep the dirt into the dustpan that she held.

              “Do tell,” I said.

              “I think ol’ Matty boy is going to pop the question,” she answered without looking up at me.

              “What?  Why on earth would you think such a thing?” I spun around to face her.  “We haven’t even been together that long!”

              “Oh, just a feeling I get.  He’s always looking at you and he always works his way around to being wherever you are,” she said glancing up at me, then she straightened up and dumped the dirt into the trash can.  “Besides that, I can just feel it.”

              “I think you’re looking into this a little too deeply,” I said as lightly as I could mange.  I took a cotton swab and ran it between the keyboard keys.  Gross. If Matt ever asked me to marry him, it would be a miracle.  Literally.  Right now I was just thrilled that he still wanted to be with me.

              “Okay, but if I were a betting woman, I could be rich,” she said and strode across the room to put the broom and dustpan back in the corner.

              “I can’t imagine where you are getting these ideas,” I said and sat down on the desk chair.  “I really think you are way off on this.”

              She looked up at me and pulled up a chair to sit beside me.  “What’s going on?  Why are you saying this?  Anyone can see that Matt is crazy about you and you’re crazy about him.  Spill it.”

              I sighed and looked straight at her.  “I am as crazy about him as you can get.  But I don’t know.  I have so many questions.”

              “Don’t we all?  Don’t let your doubts rob you of happiness, Tara.  He’s crazy about you.”

              I looked at her in silence for a minute.  “But you see, it’s just that, I think he has some sort of real calling on his life.”

              “And this is a problem, why?”  She asked looking straight at me.

              “Because I don’t think there is any calling on my life.  At all.  And if he’s called, then why wouldn’t I be?  He even said that if he were called, then whoever he marries would be called.  So if I don’t feel anything, how can that be so?  Or how can I be the one he should marry?” There.  I had said it.  I choked back tears.  That was the bottom line.  It didn’t look to me like we were called to be together.

              “Oh Tara.  You are just way overthinking things.  Why don’t you just let things happen naturally and not worry about it?”

              “I don’t know how to not worry.  And he also wants me to leave our church and join his.  I mean, it’s a nice church, it really is.  But leave?  I don’t want to do that.”

              She put her hand on the back of mine.  “You are going to have to pray and trust God on this one.  Besides, it’s not like he wants to run off to China and evangelize the whole country, right?  At least, not right away, right?”

              That did it.  I broke down in honest to goodness sobs.  I started nodding my head.  “Yes he does.”

              “What?” Kathryn said in astonishment.  “Seriously?  China?  Now?”

              “I don’t know about China,” I choked out.  “But he does want to be a missionary.  At least he thinks so.”

              “Does he know that for sure?” she asked doubtfully.

              “No, but he thinks he might be.”

              “Well then, you don’t know for sure.  I think you should still just wait and pray.  Look, name me one relationship that doesn’t get complicated at times.  There aren’t any.  And you’re wasting a lot of energy on something that you don’t even know is going to happen.  Can you at least try and not worry about this?  Trust God and trust Matt?”

              I looked at her through my tears and nodded.  What choice did I really have? 

              “There, see? It’s a good thing you let me fix things for you.  I am so good at it!”

              I laughed, but I could feel more tears dripping down my cheeks.  I had no other choice but to let God handle this.