Love After Dark (16 page)

Chloe had called to cancel their plans because her mother wasn’t feeling well and needed her help. It had sounded like an excuse to Paul, but he’d been gracious about it. She’d promised to call him, and he didn’t plan to hold his breath to see if it happened. His indifference led to the realization that he had no business going out with another woman when he was totally hung up on Hope.

A thump from the room next door caught his attention. It was closely followed by a low giggle and another pronounced thump.

“Fucking hell,” Paul muttered, pulling a spare pillow over his head so he didn’t have to listen to his brother having sex while he was dying a slow miserable lust-infused death alone in the next room. The pillow nearly suffocated him, so he came out for air to more thumping and giggling. Oddly enough, Jenny wasn’t a giggler in the rest of her life. Apparently, his brother’s sexual prowess brought out her inner giggler, which was information Paul wished he didn’t have about the woman who would soon be his sister-in-law.

Pissed off, frustrated and exhausted, he got out of bed and headed for the kitchen to get a beer. Anything was better than listening to the happy lovebirds go at it. He took the beer out on the back deck to get some air, hoping maybe they’d be done by the time he went back inside. Although, knowing them far better than he’d ever wanted to, they’d probably be on to round two by then.

Paul sat on the back stairs and looked up at the stars. Wearing only a pair of boxer briefs, he let the cool air wash over his heated skin. His thoughts wandered back to his plans to get back to dating.
 

If it wasn’t going to happen with Hope and if Chloe was giving him the polite brush-off, there were plenty of other women on Gansett Island who might be into having some fun with a reasonably good-looking guy who made a decent living and took good care of his mother. That was an attractive quality, wasn’t it?

Jesus, was he really so desperate that he was preparing to use his mother’s dementia to get laid? He ran his fingers through his hair, the frustration pounding through him like a drumbeat. Sadly, he didn’t want any of those many other women. He wanted Hope, but he couldn’t have her.

A sound from across the yard had him going still, hoping he might hear it again. There it was again, and it sounded like a sniffle. Paul put down his beer bottle and was walking across the small strip of yard between the main house and Hope’s cabin before he could think of all the reasons why he shouldn’t.
 

“Hope.”

“Go home, Paul.”

“You’re upset.”

“It’s not your problem,” she said, her voice catching on a sob that brought him closer to her.
 

“I thought we said we were friends, if nothing else.”

“We are, but—”

“No buts. Friends are there for each other when they’re needed.” He took the steps to her porch and followed the sound of her sobs to the small wicker sofa, then sat next to her. “What’s wrong? It’s not Ethan, is it?”

“No, he’s fine.”

“Then what?” He put his arm around her.

“Dear God, what’re you wearing?”

“Not much of anything.”

“You shouldn’t be here, especially when you’re mostly naked.”

“I can’t stand that you’re upset. Is it because of me?”

She wiped her face but didn’t reply.
 

“I’m sorry. I’ll go.”

“Don’t,” she said softly—so softly he almost didn’t hear her.

Emboldened by her invitation to stay, he drew her in closer until her head rested against his bare chest and her hand lay flat against his stomach, inches above the proof of how badly he wanted her. And it was
her
he wanted. Not just any woman, but
this
woman who’d tied him up in knots for weeks now, if he were being honest with himself.

“What’s wrong, honey?”

“Everything is wrong.”

“That can’t possibly be true.”

“If I told you what’s wrong, you’d want nothing to do with me or Ethan.”

“I can’t imagine wanting nothing to do with you or Ethan. I care about both of you. We all do. You’re part of the Martinez family now.”

That only made her cry harder.

Her despair made Paul feel helpless. He ran his hand over her back, wishing there was something he could do to comfort her. She was always so strong and capable, even when his mother was being mean to her. To see her reduced to tears was painful for him.
 

“Talk to me. Tell me what has you so upset. I want to help if I can.”

“There’s nothing you can do. There’s nothing anyone can do.”

Paul recalled what Ethan had told him about his father and tried to decide whether he should tell Hope what he knew. Would that make things worse or would it make it easier for her to talk about what had upset her? Since it didn’t seem possible to make things worse, he decided to put it out there before he lost his nerve.

“Ethan told me about his dad.”

She gasped and raised her head off his chest. “What did he tell you?”

“That he’s in jail.”

“How long have you known that?”

“A couple of days.”

“And you didn’t say anything?”

“It’s none of my business.”

She covered her mouth with her hand, and in the faint light of the moon, he could see her shaking her head. Her hand dropped to her lap. “How can you say that? I kept it from you and Alex when you hired me—”

“You have no criminal record, Hope. We checked. Whatever he did, I assume it had nothing to do with you.”

“Oh, it had everything to do with me.”

Paul’s stomach knotted with tension. “Are you going to tell me what you mean by that?”

“Could we go inside? It’s getting cold out here.”

Paul was practically naked, but he wasn’t cold at all. However, he noticed she was trembling. He doubted that had anything to do with the temperature. As he got up to go inside, he was thankful she hadn’t sent him away.
 

He followed her inside to the sofa, sat next to her and pulled a throw blanket over her. It took all the fortitude he could muster not to press her to talk about things that obviously caused her pain. If she wanted to tell him, he would happily hear her out, but he was not about to push her.

“Carl and I met when we were in college,” she said with a deep sigh that told him how hard it was for her to talk about this. “I was studying nursing, and he majored in sports medicine. He was so different from the other guys I’d dated. He was serious and focused and determined to make something of himself. We got married right out of college and had Ethan a year later. We tried to have other kids, but it never happened. I guess that turned out to be a blessing in the end.”

Paul had so many questions that he didn’t ask, hoping she would keep talking.
 

“He got a great job working for a college outside of Boston, and he coached girls’ lacrosse at our local high school. I worked for a memory care facility at night, so I was home with Ethan during the day.”

Paul wanted to ask when she slept, but he didn’t want to interrupt her.

“It was a busy life, but a nice one. We had a lovely home south of Boston. We had good friends and family close by. We weren’t rich, by any means, but we had enough left over to take a couple of vacations every year. And I was happy with him. A lot of my friends were bitter toward their husbands, always complaining about this or that, but not me. I was in love with my husband.”

New tears slid down her cheeks, and Paul brushed them away.
 

“I was at work when the police came. They said something about Carl, and I immediately thought he was dead. Why else would they come to find me at work? But he wasn’t dead. He’d been arrested for having sex with one of the girls on the lacrosse team.”

Paul sucked in a sharp deep breath.

“She was fifteen, and when her parents found out, they called the police. They came to me to find out what I knew, which was nothing. I was so shocked, I couldn’t speak or breathe or function. I ended up in the hospital for a night because I apparently had a panic attack. I couldn’t believe it. I thought there had to be some mistake.
My
Carl would never do something like that.”

Paul’s mind raced with thoughts and questions and rage for what the man she’d loved had put her through.

“Then we found out that girl wasn’t the only one. There were four of them in total. During his trial, I found out he’d had a vasectomy so he wouldn’t get them pregnant. That’s why we never had more kids.”

“Dear God,” Paul whispered.
 

“I can only imagine what you must be thinking.”

“I’m only thinking about you and Ethan and what you must’ve endured. I’m thinking how sorry I am that you had to go through something so horrible and how terribly hurt you must’ve been by someone you trusted and loved.”

A sob hiccupped through her as she took hold of his hand. “People were vicious. It didn’t matter that Ethan and I had nothing to do with what Carl did. We were lumped into the same boat with him. I was asked to resign from my job because my situation was a ‘distraction.’ We lost our house when I couldn’t make the mortgage payments, and Ethan’s friends weren’t allowed to play with him anymore.”

“I’m so sorry, Hope.”

She shrugged off his sympathy.
 

“I have to be honest with you. After we had some trouble with the former manager of the retail store, we investigate everyone we hire. None of this came up when we looked into you before we hired you.”

“Russell is my maiden name. I legally changed my name and Ethan’s after Carl was convicted.”

“I can’t say I blame you.”

“I should’ve disclosed this—”

He squeezed her hand. “No. There was no need for you to do that. Your professional references were impeccable, and your background check was clean. You didn’t owe us anything more than that.”

“Really?”

“Really. Your business is your business, and it has no impact on the amazing way you take care of my mother.”

“Alex might not agree.”

“Yes, he will. He thinks you’re amazing, too.”

When her chin quivered, Paul cupped her cheek and ran his thumb over her chin. “Why were you crying earlier? What happened?”

She glanced up at him with a tremulous smile. “You happened.”

“Me? I thought you said this wasn’t going to work.”

“I did, and I meant it because I’m still so messed up over everything with Carl. It wouldn’t be fair to get involved with you—”

“Do you still love him?”

“No. God, no.”

Paul didn’t think. He acted, laying his lips over hers. For the longest time, he did nothing more than rub his lips against hers, hoping she was getting the message that even knowing what he now did, he still wanted her. In fact, if possible, he wanted her more after hearing what she’d survived.
 

Tears tumbled down her cheeks, but her hand wrapped around his wrist, holding him close rather than pushing him away.
 

“I’m scared,” she said.

“Of what? You’re not afraid of me, are you?”

She nodded.

“Hope… Why? I would never hurt you or Ethan. If I had you both in my life, I’d consider myself the luckiest guy in the world. Tell me why you’re scared.”

“I had no idea about Carl. I never even suspected. If I let myself go there again…”

“Carl was a bad guy. I’m not a bad guy. I’m not the best guy who ever lived, but I do the right thing most of the time. In fact, most of the men I know do, too.”

“I want so badly to believe you.”

“You
can
believe me. You can believe
in
me. I can’t promise you that whatever this is between us will last forever, but I can guarantee that I’ll never intentionally do anything to cause you or Ethan any more pain than you’ve already endured.”

Closing her eyes, she leaned into the hand he still had on her face. “I love the way you make me feel, Paul. I never thought I’d ever feel that way again.”

Paul kissed her, this time more insistently, sliding his tongue back and forth over her lips until they parted to allow him in. God, she was sweet and responsive and sexy. He was thankful that she’d told him about her past so he knew what he was dealing with.
 

Her arms encircled his neck as her tongue rubbed his, setting him on fire with desire. Instinct took over, leading him to arrange her under him without breaking the increasingly desperate kiss. The alignment of their bodies had his erection pressed against the heat of her core. He wanted to touch her there. He wanted to touch her everywhere. But more than anything, he wanted her to trust him, and that wasn’t going to happen overnight.

So he softened the kiss and kept his hands firmly planted on the sofa on either side of her head.

The scrape of her fingernails over his scalp made him tremble.
 

“Why’d you stop?” she asked in a small voice.

“Same reason as last night. Because if I don’t stop, I won’t be able to.”