Lost World (4 page)

I look toward the fire where everyone else sits. Hadley, Jon, and Parvarti aren’t back yet, and Joshua fell asleep, so it’s just the five of us making the decision right now. Anne and Sophia are preoccupied with the kids, and Jessica usually just defers to her dad’s opinion. Al and Lila don’t seem to care as long as they’re together and safe. Then there’s Moira…. She’s barely even a person anymore.

“But we can’t stay here forever,” Winston says slowly.

“No,” I say. “Just for a couple days. Until Jake is feeling better. Hopefully, the others come back with antibiotics and he can recover, then we can move on. We realize this is a temporary solution, but we need it. We need a break.”

Winston nods slowly and scratches at his beard. It’s long now, and he reminds me of a black member of ZZ Top. I guess he decided not cut it any time soon. “You think it’s safe?”

Angus spits again, and no one even blinks. We’re getting too used to it. “Safest place we been, that’s for sure.”

We lapse into silence. Since I can’t read minds, I don’t know for sure what everyone else is thinking about, but I can’t stop reliving the past few months. The emergence of the virus in New York, which almost seems like a dream at this point, then the spread. The realization that things were not going to get better, and my determination to make it to Emily. To the daughter I gave up for adoption when I was sixteen. It required travel approval since the country was under martial law and a physical, but I was determined to make it happen. When my car broke down, I thought that was the end for me, but it turned out to be the best thing to ever happen. It’s how I met Axl. He and Angus were running from the virus too, heading to California just like I was. By the time we got there the virus had taken its toll, though. Eighty-five percent of the population gone in a matter of weeks. The world felt like a ghost town.

Of course, that would have been a much more desirable alternative to the new reality of the walking dead.

When we realized the dead had come back, we were floored, and the shelter in Vegas seemed like a utopia. The perfect place for us to live out the next few years while we waited for the bodies to die a second time. It should have worked, but life is cruel. The company that built the thing had financial problems, which resulted in selling off all their supplies. We had to make a run out to Vegas to find more food and fuel, and that’s where we met the real enemy. Who knew there were things worse than zombies out there?

The men who’d taken over the Monte Carlo were the worst kind. Evil to the very core. When they grabbed Hadley and me, we had little hope of escape. If Jon hadn’t been undercover in the casino looking for his sister, we’d probably still be there. He may have been one of the men who grabbed us, but he also helped us escape. We made it out alive, but not without a few scars. The men from Vegas got their revenge, though. They destroyed our shelter, the only safe place left as far as we know. Since then we’ve been wandering. Lost. Looking for a place that will sustain a group this size while we cling to the few scraps of hope we have left.

We went from Nevada to Utah, wanting to make it out to Wyoming or Montana. Areas that were less populated and had more open space back when people were still people. But a lot of the roads were blocked from when the country was under martial law. The route we followed eventually led us to Colorado, but before that we drove through hundreds of miles of nothingness. Looking for other survivors we could trust or a safe place to live or some sign that there’s still law in this country. We found none of that.

What we found instead were bodies walking the Earth or rotting in piles. Towns and cities overrun. Stores looted or smashed or burnt. The few living people we came across weren’t as bad as the ones in Vegas, but they didn’t fit in with our group. We saw secluded areas that had been fortified where men acted like frat brothers. Spending their days drinking and eating bags of Doritos while they used the dead for target practice. One house we found had the rotting bodies of zombies tied to the fence circling the property. One every few feet, like grisly scarecrows. It terrified the children and put the rest of us on edge. Who knows what frame of mind the inhabitants were in to do such a grotesque thing? We didn’t wait around to find out.

After a few minutes of silence, Winston finally nods, exhaling slowly. There’s a good chance he was reliving the last few weeks just like I was.

He looks toward the fire, and I’m not sure since it’s dark, but it looks like he has tears in his eyes. “Okay, then. Let’s get settled.”

When Parvarti, Hadley, and Jon finally show back up, Joshua is out of his seat and running toward them before they’re halfway down the stairs. I’m sure Anne would be right behind him if Jake wasn’t in her lap.

“Did you find something?” Joshua asks.

Even in the firelight, I can see how frightened his eyes are. He’s as scared of losing Jake as Anne is, but I think for him it would feel like surrendering to reality. Giving in to the fact that things have changed and an MD next to his name doesn’t give him all the superpowers he hoped it would. That even he is limited.

Parvarti rips the bandana off her head and runs her fingers through her dark hair. “Nope. The pharmacy was bare.”

Joshua’s face falls, and his shoulders slump like all the air has left his lungs.

“We’ll figure it out,” Jon says, slapping him on the shoulder on the way to the fire. “You guys save me some meat?”

“How was the town?” I ask.

“Deserted.” Hadley stands at the bottom of the stairs, looking back and forth between the fire and the hot springs. “I think I’m going to take a bath.”

Jon has barely sat down, but he gets to his feet like he’s ready to join her. Only she doesn’t even look his way before heading toward the springs.

“You want to get clean, Parv?” Hadley calls as she turns toward the stairs.

“Yeah,” Parvarti says.

They head up to the small hot spring, and Jon slumps back onto the bench. “How about some of that rabbit?”

He doesn’t look surprised, but he doesn’t look happy either. This thing with him and Hadley has been weird from the beginning. No one really understands what’s going on between them. Hell, I’m not even sure they understand it. I think for Hadley it started as a way for her to forget about what happened in Vegas. Probably did for Jon, too. He lost his sister, after all. But for him it seems to have progressed into something more. He likes her. I can tell by the way he gravitates toward her throughout the day, and how he always has her back when we run into a group of the dead. Hadley doesn’t seem to share his feelings.

Maybe she’s still trying to forget.

I lean my head against Axl’s shoulder and let out a deep sigh. It’s getting late, and all the kids have turned in except Jake. Even Moira, Sophia, and Jessica have gone to bed. Angus and Darla are God knows where doing God knows what. We’re all beat, and I’m pretty sure Anne is only up because she was hoping they’d come back with meds for Jake.

Now that it looks hopeless, she eases Jake to his feet and gives us a little wave. “We’re going to get some sleep.”

“Night,” I say, echoing the murmurs of the others.

Al yawns and puts his arm around Lila. “So…what are the sleeping arrangements like? I mean, the one tent has the kids and Jess and Moira. Anne and Sophia have a shelter. That leaves one shelter and two tents.” He looks toward Lila, whose cheeks get red even in the firelight. “Where’s that leave us?”

“You mean, ‘where can we go screw?’” Jon’s mouth is full of rabbit, and a few small pieces fly out when he laughs at his own joke.

Al’s face breaks out into a huge grin. “I have needs.”

“Al!” Lila shoves him, then buries her face in his chest.

Al doesn’t look the least repentant.

“We need two people on watch,” Winston says. He doesn’t acknowledge Al’s
needs
.

“We can take the first watch,” I say just as a yawn forces its way out of me. I cover my mouth and turn my head so it doesn’t spread, but no such luck. Immediately after I yawn, Al and Lila do too, then Axl. Even Winston. I’m tired, but I’d rather stay up a few extra hours now than have my rest disturbed.

Axl shifts, and I’m forced to move my head from his shoulder as he gets to his feet. “What you think ‘bout walkin’ the area? We stay down here or go on up a bit every now an’ then to check things out?”

Winston gets up too, and his eyes scan the forest as he pulls at his beard like some old-time scholar on the verge of a massive discovery. “We don’t want you going up too far. We wouldn’t be able to hear if you ran into trouble.”

“Just to the top of the stairs, then?”

Al clears his throat. “No one answered my question.”

Axl rolls his eyes.

Winston waves Al off. “Just pick a tent. And for the love of God, use protection.” He turns his back to the teenagers. “There are too many raging hormones in this group.”

“It’s the end of the world,” Al says, jumping to his feet. He’s grinning when he pulls Lila up with his remaining hand. “Need to celebrate life! Seize the day! Live life to the fullest!”

Axl’s mouth twitches, but Winston just shakes his head.

Jon is laughing his ass off. “You’re a walking cliché, Al.”

“Don’t care as long as I get laid. When the zombies showed up, I thought for sure I was going to die a virgin.”

Lila shoves him, but even she’s smiling. “Will you shut up?”

“Never!” Al says. “I want the whole world to know I’m going to have sex! I only wish I could go back to my high school and tell everyone there.”

“They wouldn’t care,” Lila says, pulling him toward the tent. “They’re all zombies now.”

Al walks with her, but he doesn’t let up. The kid must have been the class clown. “True. Now all they’re concerned about are brains.”

He pretends he’s going to take a bite out of Lila, and she squeals. It’s quiet, though. The whole conversation is. It’s like we’ve all had the volume buttons in our bodies adjusted and the only level we have anymore is low. Communicating in a whisper is automatic, whether we’re talking or fighting or laughing or joking around. It’s all muted. Just like the world is now.

4

I LEAN AGAINST AXL, STARING INTO the flickering flames of the campfire. Everyone has gone to sleep now, and it’s just the two of us. It reminds me of when we camped on the side of Route 66. He was a mystery to me then. So silent and brooding. Not transparent like his brother.

Now, sometimes I feel like I know Axl as well as I know myself. Maybe even better.

“I’m glad we found this place,” I say.

“Be nice if we could stay.”

“Could we make it work?”

He exhales and shifts but doesn’t make a move to stand. “Don’t know. We’re in the middle of nowhere, but that don’t mean nothin’. They could start travelin’. Move away from the cities to find food.”

“Do you think they need to eat? I mean, will they eventually waste away?”

“Don’t got a clue.”

How would he? None of us understand what happened or how these things work. They’re dead, that’s for sure. The people who died from the virus were down for almost two days before they came back as flesh-eating monsters. Once that happened, those of us who were immune to the original virus weren’t safe if bitten or scratched. We died just like they did. Came back just as hungry for violence. There’s no telling when this thing will end.

Or even if it will.

Axl sighs and nudges me aside. He grabs his gun as he gets to his feet. “Let’s check things out.”

Even though I’m comfortable and warm by the fire, I grab my own gun and follow Axl toward the stairs. His eyes are working overtime as we walk, checking every inch of the area out. Around us, the night is dark and as silent as a cemetery, and the air is clear. Just like it has been since we got here. I can’t help thinking that even if we do run into any zombies out here, it can’t be more one or two. There’s no real reason for more to show up, not here in the middle of nowhere. Plus, Hadley told us the town they went to was almost empty. Maybe they’ve all moved on to the cities.

We pass the tents, and the quiet sound of snoring can be heard through the canvas. I know by this point it’s Winston. We’ve been living in such close quarters that I can now distinguish each and every sound my traveling companions make. Sometimes it’s annoying, but usually it just makes me feel safe.

Axl pauses and points to the stone wall behind the tents. “We got this wall,” he whispers. “It ain’t the best protection.” His finger travels the length of the wall, then moves toward the rocks in the distance. “Them mountains at our backs are good. Means nothin’ could come at us from that side.”

“Only through the woods,” I say.

He nods and drops his hand, then continues on toward the stairs. “Problem with that is we’d be boxed in.”

He’s right. “If something—”

“Or somebody.” Axl doesn’t look my way, but his jaw tenses.

I swallow when memories of Vegas come flooding back. The thought of people coming in here scares me more than the thought of a few zombies finding us. Zombies are predictable. With people, it’s impossible to tell what their real intentions are.

“If they came at us from the woods,” I say in a shaky voice, “we’d have to fight our way out.”

“Right.” Axl moves halfway up the stairs, then turns and looks around. “We got the Nissan and the truck at the top of the hill where we can’t see ‘em, and we got no place to hide ‘em. There’s all these trees between us too. We’d be taken by surprise if we got attacked.”

“But someone would have to find us first.”

He purses his lips like he does when he’s thinking, nodding slowly. “Yeah.”

“You think they would? Come looking here, I mean?”

“If they saw that sign they might. We did.”

He has another good point. Of course. With no electricity or gas for hot water, a hot spring like this would seem like a gold mine to anyone passing by.

“We take the sign down,” I say. “If they don’t know it’s here, they won’t come.”

A cool wind blows, and the few leaves remaining on the trees rustle together above us. I shiver and wrap my arms around myself, trying to keep warm. Maybe it isn’t just the cold that’s making me tremble. It could be the thought of this peaceful little corner of the world being disturbed.

“Takin’ the sign down would help,” Axl says, rubbing his shoulder. I don’t even think he realizes he’s doing it. “Still gotta set up some kinda alarm. That way if somethin’ comes through the woods, we have some warnin’.”

“We still have those cans we tied together,” I point out. “We can use those. We’ve done it when we camped before.”

“Don’t got enough. This is a bigger area.”

“We get more,” I say, when a sudden feeling of desperation comes over me.

We need to make this work so we can be in one place and not on the run anymore. I feel like I’m slowly going mad, shoved into the back of that truck. Driving on and on, no windows to actually see what we’re passing and no idea where we’re even going to begin with.

I move closer to Axl. The expression on his face tells me he doesn’t really believe we can make this happen. “We have plenty of canned drinks in the truck. I know we haven’t been using them since we didn’t want to get dehydrated, but we could use them for this. Tomorrow we could let the kids go nuts. I’m sure Angus wouldn’t have a problem drinking some of that beer, too. You never let him.”

Axl snorts, and his mouth almost pulls up into a smile. “Like I could stop him.”

I don’t know if that’s true. Angus got that beer at one of our stops and has wanted to dip into it so many times, but for some reason he hasn’t. He keeps bitching about not being allowed to, but I think he’s holding back because he’s trying to fit in. He’s doing it for his brother, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. Ever since Axl got shot, Angus has been softer. For Angus, anyway.

Axl’s eyes move back to the stairs, then sweep over the area. His lips are still pursed like he’s working out a math problem. It gives me hope, as foolish as that sounds. Maybe we can stay here after all.

“If we get a warning system set up, can we make this work?” I ask, my voice barely a whisper.

“We still got the problem of shelter.” Axl turns my way, and his stormy eyes hold mine. Right away I know it’s no good, but that doesn’t stop him from laying it all out for me. “It’s November in Colorado. It’s gonna get cold soon. Probably snow.”

Some of my hope slips away, but I’m not ready to give up just yet. “Can we build something?”

I turn to face the tents, and my eyes land on the shelters. They’re small. One was barely big enough for Anne, Jake, Sophia, and Ava to fit in, but maybe we could build onto them.

“Don’t think we’d have an easy time buildin’ somethin’ down here,” Axl says. “The ground’s rock, plus we’d hafta drag supplies through the woods. Don’t seem possible.”

I exhale what little hope I have left inside, and it blows away, carried by the wind. “Yeah.”

Axl moves toward me, wrapping me in his arms. “But we can make it work for a few days at least.”

Then we’ll be back on the road. More driving. More wandering.

We wake Jon and Hadley when it’s their turn to take watch. Somehow, they ended up in the other shelter. Alone. I think it was because everyone else went to bed before them and no one wanted to be the asshole who took the only solid building. Not even Angus, which kind of surprises me.

Jon and Hadley get dressed and take our spots, then Axl and I find ourselves alone in the small building. The walls are thin. Rickety. They shake when the wind blows, rattling the whole building so hard it feels like it will collapse at any moment. Cool air seeps in through the cracks, making me shiver. Staying warm is going to be tough.

“The tents might be warmer than this,” I tell Axl as I stretch out on the stone floor next to him. My body is sore from exhaustion.

“Come here.”

Axl’s voice is gruff when he pulls me against him. His lips are inches from my neck, and the warmth of his breath helps heat my skin. Helps keep me warm. He runs his hand up my side, and even though I’m so exhausted I could sleep for a week, I twist to face him. His mouth finds mine in the darkness, and he sweeps his tongue over my lips. A shiver runs down my spine when Axl moves his hand under my shirt and pulls my bra aside, running his thumb over my nipple.

“I miss them rings,” he whispers against my lips.

“They got in the way,” I say, not bothering to tell him that having the nipple rings felt stupid. Pointless in the middle of all this craziness.

I drape my leg over Axl’s hip, trying to pull my body closer to his. If life were normal, this is how every night would be for us. We’d live together, maybe get married. Down the road we could even have kids, then I wouldn’t have to worry so much about remembering to take the pills that prevent a life from growing inside me. We could be a real family.

But that’s not how things are, and right now I live for these moments. For the times when we’re together and I can forget everything but the two of us. When Axl can wash away the pain and horror of life with his kiss. Can make me forget the heartache and death and struggle we’ve had so much of the last few weeks. Maybe one day we’ll be able to find a home and build something real, but until then I’ll cling to Axl and these stolen moments.

I wake to the sound of quiet laughter. Sunlight breaks through the cracks in the shelter, blinding me when I try to open my eyes. I shield my face and roll over, and a shiver runs through my body when the blankets fall away. Axl’s side of the shelter is empty, as usual. He doesn’t sleep much. We talked about it once, and he told me all about waking up as a teenager to a trailer full of smoke. Trying to get to his mom. Finding out she was dead long before the fire started. After that, he had nightmares. I can understand why sleep would be difficult.

I find my shoes tangled in with the sheets and pull them on before heading out to join the others. The small amount of light that seeped into the shelter did nothing to prepare me for the bright morning, and I find myself squinting all over again. We may be surrounded by trees, but the hot spring is in a clearing and there’s nothing to block out the bright rays. My eyes are half closed when I stumble toward the fire, but I can still make out the small group gathered around it. Hadley, Jon, Darla, Lila, and Al.

Hadley calls out to me when I’m still five feet away. “You want some coffee?”

“Coffee?” I say it like it’s a foreign word. Since when did we have that luxury? We ran out of coffee a while back. Haven’t found any, either. Not instant, anyway, which is what we need.