Lost World (3 page)

“Asshole,” Axl mutters, then jogs off after his brother.

I roll my eyes at Hadley. “I’m not sure I’ll ever understand Angus.”

“What’s there to understand?” she says, and I don’t miss how little light there is in her green eyes. “He has his demons and being an asshole is how he deals with them.” She shrugs and heads toward the stairs. “Let’s get some wood.”

I follow her, but the words sting. Hadley has demons too.

We go to the top of the stairs, but instead of following the brothers up the trail, we veer left, heading into the woods. I already have my knife out, but I put it away and pull out my gun. With all the trees and bushes, it would be easy for a zombie to sneak up on us. A knife may not be enough.

Hadley bends to grab a few branches, but keeps her eyes up. They’re harder than they used to be. When we first met, they sparkled like she always had a secret she was keeping or a joke she couldn’t wait to tell. Now they’re flat and tortured. She’s thinner now, too. Hadley was too skinny to begin with, and dropping five pounds has made her so bony that it scares me at times.

She doesn’t look anything like the celebrity she used to be.

Hadley’s strawberry blonde hair falls across her face, and she sweeps it aside in irritation. “I should cut my hair like Parv did.”

“Would make things easier, wouldn’t it?”

“Easier. Right.” She snorts as she scoops a few sticks up off the ground.

I grab a handful of branches that are already laying together in a pile, almost as if they’ve been waiting for me to show up. The wind blows, and I inhale through my nose. It’s clear, though. No death. Nothing but the crispness of the morning air and the earthy smell of the forest.

“How are things going with you?” I ask Hadley.

“Just peachy.”

I glance toward her, but she isn’t looking at me. “Hadley?”

She tears her eyes away from the ground, and when her gaze meets mine, some of the hardness leaves her features. Her eyes shimmer, and she has to swallow a few times before she says, “I’m okay.”

“Are you?” I ask, choosing my words carefully. We’ve never spoken about what happened, not in detail. I want to be there for her, but I don’t want to push her. “I don’t want you to disappear, Hadley. Not like Moira.”

“I’m stronger than that.” She takes a deep breath and tucks her hair behind her ears. The gesture seems violent. Angry almost. “I’m going to be fine.”

“Good,” I say, taking a step closer. “Because I kind of like you.”

“Good,” Hadley says with a laugh that doesn’t sound the least bit sincere. “Because you’re stuck with me.”

She goes back to picking up sticks, and I follow her lead. I hate ignoring the elephant in the room, but Hadley has to decide she wants to talk about it on her own. I can’t force her.

When our arms are full, we head back toward the trail. Sticks crunch under our feet, but otherwise the woods are so quiet we’d probably be able to hear a pin drop. Something seems off, though. Like I’m being watched. It makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up and my pulse quicken.

I stop walking and study the area, but I don’t see a thing.

“What’s wrong?” Hadley pauses and looks over her shoulder at me, but she doesn’t seem worried. Maybe I’m overreacting.

“I just feel like something isn’t right.”

“Nothing is ever right. We’re living in the back of a truck.”

She has a point.

I take one more look around, but the woods are still clear. And there’s no noise except the sounds of nature. I’m overreacting, that’s all.

“Let’s go,” I say, jerking my head toward the trail and picking up the pace. My arms are full, and if something sneaks up on us now, I’ll be in a tough spot. I want to get back to everyone else.

Before I’ve made it all the way to the trail, I spot Darla. Watching us. I knew something was off.

“Thought you girls might need some help,” she says when we reach her.

“We’re all done,” Hadley snaps, then glances at me.

She’s one of the few people who knows about my connection with Darla, but it’s only because she overheard a conversation. Axl and Angus know too, of course. Axl because I told him, and Angus because he’s screwing Darla. If I can help it, the secret won’t go any further. As far as I’m concerned, no one else needs to know that this woman gave birth to me.

I refuse to meet Darla’s gaze. It isn’t really a surprise that she’s cornered me now. She’s been trying to have some heart-to-heart with me for weeks, pretty much since we left the desert. Only I’m not interested.

“We’re heading back,” I say.

Hadley takes that as her cue to leave and steps around Darla. I follow, but of course my mother hurries after us.

“Want me to carry some?” Darla asks hopefully.

“Nope,” I say, jogging to catch up with Hadley.

Darla sighs behind me but doesn’t stop walking. She doesn’t try to talk to me again either, so that’s good. At least for now. She’ll be back, and I know it.

We’ve only gone a few steps when the sound of laughter makes my whole body tense. Hadley looks my way with wide eyes, and we both move faster. When the hot springs come into view, we can see the kids splashing around in the water, laughing. Having fun. It should be a nice sound, but they’re being too loud. I’m not used to so much noise anymore.

“They should be quieter,” I say.

Hadley nods, and we jog down the steps. Anne and Sophia stand knee-deep in the water. Shirts still on, but their jackets and pants are gone. The women are doing their best to keep the kids quiet, but it doesn’t seem to be working. Jessica stands on dry land with a panicked expression on her face while Parvarti calmly surveys the area. But I don’t see Moira anywhere.

I look around as I follow Hadley to where Winston is setting up camp. Liz is with the other kids, but I don’t see her mom at first. Then I spot Moira in the hot spring. Naked. The water only goes halfway up her chest, and her breasts are mostly exposed, but she doesn’t seem to care. She sits there like she’s in some kind of trance.

She’s going to end up getting herself killed.

The sun is so low it’s disappeared behind the surrounding trees. From our vantage point we can only see a sliver of orange on the horizon. The sky is dark blue, almost black, and already the stars are out. Twinkling in the sky above us. It’s nice and quiet, and the group is relaxed, but I can’t sit still. My stomach feels like it’s full of rocks. Axl and Angus haven’t come back yet, and it’s freaking me out.

The kids are dry and dressed in clean clothes, and they’re sitting around the fire looking sleepy. Moira is dressed—thanks to Jessica’s prompting—and the adults have all taken their turn in the private hot spring. A quiet contentment has fallen over the camp that’s nice but feels shaky. Like we’re teetering on the edge of a cliff and if we’re not careful, we’ll fall over.

“Maybe someone should go out to look for them,” I say, tapping my toe against the stone floor so hard it makes a slapping sound that echoes through the night.

“They’ll be back.” Winston doesn’t even look my way as he throws another log on the fire. Sparks fly into the air, dancing above the flames before disappearing. He’s been saying the same thing for almost an hour.

Hadley pats the seat next to her on the stone bench, and I reluctantly sit. Drops of water fall from her wet hair and land on her legs, but she doesn’t seem to notice. “You should get clean. I think everyone has except you.”

“And Axl,” I say, the words coming out sharper than I intended them to. Hadley doesn’t even bat an eye.

Angus hasn’t taken a bath either, but I don’t care. Hell, he probably doesn’t either.

Hadley nods slowly as she stares at the flames. “Maybe we should go out and look for them.”

Winston shakes his head, and I have the urge to smack him.

“Why not?” I snap.

“Because we can’t risk it. We could go out there looking for them and get lost or hurt or killed, and that would leave the group vulnerable.”

I inhale slowly and clench my hands into fists. He’s right. Of course he is. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.

Jake coughs, and Anne pulls him closer. She grabs another blanket and wraps it around them both. Joshua sits on the other side of the sick boy, staring at the map. He scoots closer to Jake like he’s trying to keep the kid warm.

“We can’t wait much longer,” he says. “I need to head to that town.”

There’s a small town not too far from here, and he’s anxious to head out so he can see if they have antibiotics. I know we need them, but there’s no way in hell Joshua is heading out into the unknown. As the only doctor, he’s way too important to the group.

“You know you can’t go,” I say.

He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “Someone has to.”

“I’ll go. We can take the Nissan.” Parvarti stands, grabbing her bow off the ground. She looks around, and her eyes stop on Jon and Hadley. “You two want to come? I need the backup.”

“Yeah.” Jon stretches when he stands, and his back pops. “Save me some meat.”

“What are we looking for?” Hadley asks Joshua.

The doctor pats Jake on the back and gives Anne a reassuring smile before getting to his feet. “I’ll walk with you up to the truck. That way I can write a few things down. I don’t want you grabbing the wrong thing.”

“I know I don’t really have to say it,” Winston says, frowning, “but watch your backs.” He doesn’t look like he’s in love with the idea, but he doesn’t tell anyone they can’t go. It’s not his style.

“Will do,” Jon says, heading to the stairs with the others.

I watch them walk away with a pit in my stomach. I know why they didn’t ask me to go. If Axl came back and found me gone, he’d be furious. It still hurts, though. Like being picked last for a team in gym class.

3

I JUMP TO MY FEET AND spin around when footsteps pound against the stone behind me. The second Axl and Angus come into view a deep sigh of relief whooshes out of me. It’s about time.

Unable to stay where I am, I rush forward to meet Axl halfway between the fire and the stairs. He pulls me in for a hug, and my body feels instantly lighter. “What took you so long?”

Axl presses his lips to the top of my head. “Checkin’ out the area.”

“If you wanted fast food you shoulda gone to McDonald’s,” Angus mutters, practically shoving past me to get to the fire.

“Can we?” Max asks, his eyes lighting up like the prospect is the best news he’s ever heard.

The question should make me laugh at the adorable naivety of children, but it doesn’t. Instead my eyes fill with tears, and I have the sudden urge to sit down and sob. All I can think about is how much these kids have lost and how different their futures are now. They don’t have the hope we had when we were young. I grew up with nothing, but I never lost the desire to have more. To believe something better could happen for me.

These kids will never have that.

Anne sighs and shakes her head. She looks as sad as I feel. “No, honey. There’s no more McDonald’s.”

Max’s face falls and he stares at the ground.

“Shit, you don’t want McDonald’s,” Angus says, holding up two rabbits. “This here is real food. That stuff they fed you in them restaurants will kill you if you eat too much.” He kneels in front of Dylan and Max, and leans in close to the boys like he’s going to tell them a secret. “In fact, you wanna know what I heard?”

The boys’ eyes get big and round as they stare at the dead animals, and they shake their heads. Angus motions for them to get closer. They lean forward, along with everyone else sitting around the fire. Even Axl and I step closer.

“I heard them restaurants is what started all this mess.”

“You mean the zombies?” Max asks, his eyes once again full of wonder.

Angus leans even closer. Everyone around the fire watches him, waiting to hear what he has to say. Like he might actually have the missing piece of the puzzle.

“Sure. Them places were cheap, right?”

The boys nod in unison.

“Well, they had to get real cheap stuff to make their food. Meat that nobody else wanted an’ all that. I hear they got a real bad batch right ‘round the time people started gettin’ sick.”

Max’s face scrunches up and he shakes his head. “I thought it was a flu.”

“Yeah,” Dylan pipes in. His tone tells me he knows Angus is full of shit. “And my mom never ate at McDonald’s, but she got sick and died.”

Angus shrugs and sits back. “Just what I heard. I don’t know nothin’ for sure. Nobody does.” He holds the rabbit up in front of the boys again. “I do know this, though. Rabbits didn’t get that flu, right?”

“No animals did,” Max says quietly, studying Angus like he’s trying to figure out if this man is telling him the truth.

“They didn’t eat at McDonald’s neither.” Angus gets up before the boys can say anything else. When he turns away, there’s a big grin on his face.

Axl chuckles. “Son of a bitch.”

“Yeah,” I mutter.

The expression on Angus’s face reminds me of how he was with Emily. He was good with her, which took me by surprise. It’s even more shocking to see him talk to the boys, though. He hasn’t really paid the kids much attention before now. Maybe he was keeping his distance after losing Emily. Guarding himself against getting hurt again. Anything is possible, even with Angus.

“I never did like McDonald’s,” Lila says, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

Angus drops down on the stone bench and pulls out his knife. “That’s ‘cause you was too busy eatin’ gold-coated fillet. Ain’t that right?”

Lila’s face turns red, and Al jumps to his feet. He points his handless arm at Angus. “You have a problem with her because she had money?”

Angus slides his knife down the rabbit’s body, then looks up at Al. “Nope. I got a problem with her ‘cause every time she looks my way she makes a face. Like I’m a bum sittin’ outside her mansion, beggin’ for money. I ain’t gonna play nice when she’s busy bein’ a stuck-up bitch. Now get that stump outta my face so I can get ya’ll some dinner.”

Just like that, Angus’s soft side melts away.

“Damn,” Axl mutters.

I know he’s hoping his brother will eventually settle down and fit in, but I think it’s a lost cause. This is about as close as Angus is going to get, which means he’s almost tolerable fifty percent of the time.

Axl’s eyes move over the group, and his body stiffens. “Where’d everybody go?”

“To town to get meds,” Joshua says.

“Shit.” Axl’s arm drops from my shoulder. “Thought I told you to wait.”

Anne hugs Jake tight and glares at Axl. “Jake needs antibiotics.”

Axl slowly blows all the air out of his lungs, then nods. “You’re right. Just wanted to go with ‘em, that’s all. Wanted to make sure they was safe.”

“They’re good, Axl,” Winston says. “You aren’t responsible for everything.”

Axl nods, his eyes focused on the ground. “Yeah, I know.”

“Why don’t you go take a bath? Relax for a change.” Joshua tosses something Axl’s way, and he catches it. He opens his hand to reveal a bar of soap.

“Yeah. Don’t sound half bad.” He looks toward his brother. “You got this under control, Angus?”

“Yeah, yeah. You and Blondie head on up there and get freaky. I’ll make sure everybody gets somethin’ to eat.”

“Shut up, Angus,” Axl snaps.

I glare at Angus as I pick up the clean clothes I have waiting for Axl and me. The asshole just grins, of course. Whatever. I can’t wait to get clean, and there’s no way I’m going to let Angus ruin it.

“Ignore him.” I grab Axl’s hand and pull him toward the stairs that lead up to the smaller of the two hot springs.

The soft glow of the lanterns left behind by the others help light our way. All the adults bathed up here where it was more private. Some alone and some not—like Al and Lila. They were louder than they should have been, leading little Ava to ask her mom if Lila was crying. Sophia said yes.

From up here, we can see everything. The hot spring and the rest of the group sitting around the fire, as well as the forest in the distance. It’s a nice view, but not nearly as alluring as the heat coming off the little pool of water in front of me. I set our clean clothes down, then pull my filthy shirt off. My pants follow, which makes Axl look over his shoulder.

“They can’t see us,” I say. “I made sure earlier when everyone else was up here. All they can really see from down there are our heads. It was probably designed that way on purpose.”

“Clothes optional,” Axl says.

“Not when I’m up here with you.” I yank his shirt over his head, then go for the zipper on his jeans. “When you’re here, it’s clothes prohibited.”

He grins, his eyes holding mine. “That right?”

I ease his jeans down, smiling up at him the whole time. “That’s right.”

The second we’re both naked, I head for the hot spring. The air is chilly and standing out in the open has me covered in goose bumps, but the water is nice and warm. Slightly hotter than a bath. It’s probably the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt.

I turn and hold my hand out to Axl, who’s still foolishly standing on the top step. “Give me that soap.”

He looks down at the bar clutched in his hand, staring at the thing like he forgot it was there, then steps into the hot spring. “Damn.” He closes his eyes like he’s on the brink of ecstasy.

“I know,” I say, ripping the soap out of his hand.

The water only comes to my waist, so I sink lower until I’m submerged up to my chin. I wet my hair, then scrub every inch of my body until my skin stings. Then my hair. I’ve never been this filthy in my life.

Once we’re both clean, Axl settles onto the manmade bench that lines the wall of the little pool. I move over so I’m sitting on his lap, and wrap my arms around his neck like we’re two people out enjoying a day at a spa rather than what we’ve been for the past few weeks. People running for our lives. Hiding. Trying to survive. I want to enjoy this moment.

“What were you and Angus doing that took so long?” I know they weren’t hunting that whole time, and I want to know what they were up to.

“Stakin’ out the area. Wanted to see if there was any sign of the dead.”

“You find anything?”

“Nope. Don’t look like the area’s been bothered since all this started. No bodies ‘round. Lotsa animals in the woods. It’s pretty secluded. Might be good to hang out for a few days. Rest up.”

“You think it’s safe?”

“Safest place we’ve come ‘cross since we left the desert. Bet we can make it work for a bit. Once it gets really cold it’ll be no good, but for now we got them tents set up close to the springs. The water gives off a little heat and we got plenty of blankets an’ sleepin’ bags.”

“It would be nice to rest.”

“Give Jake a chance to get better. Them wood houses they got ain’t real sturdy, but we could set somethin’ up in there for him. Be warmer than the tent. Hopefully, the others can find some meds and he can get better.”

Axl brushes some wet hair off my forehead and I press my lips to his, then shift so I’m straddling him. He’s hard already. The feel of him causes heat to move through my veins. “I could get used to this, too. It seems like a shame to drive off and leave something so amazing.”

“Yeah,” he says again, moving his hands up my thighs and over my stomach to my chest, not stopping until they’re cupping both of my breasts. His touch is hotter than the water. I kiss him harder, grabbing his bottom lip between my teeth and giving it a little tug. He groans. “You been takin’ them pills, right?”

“I have.”

“Good.”

He guides my body over his, and then he’s inside me. We move together and the water swirls around us, splashing against the stone, and more than once I have to bite down on my lip so I don’t make a total ass of myself.

“So you think staying here is a good idea?” Winston asks in a skeptical tone. It isn’t often he and Axl disagree, but this may be one of those times.

“I think we need to rest,” Axl says.

Angus spits on the ground and drapes his arm over Darla’s shoulder. “Yeah. It’d be nice to take a break. Plus, that truck is startin’ to smell like shit.”