Lost in Thought (13 page)

“I
know!”
she replied. “I told them so. Because for sure if anyone I knew was sleeping with Carter Penrose,
especially
my roommate, I’d already have bragged about it to everyone
else
I knew, after getting all the details for myself first, of course.” She narrowed her eyes at me.

“So really, though, where have you been?”

“I…” was all I got out again.

“And why did some seventh grader see you outside the bookstore hugging Carter and crying before you went around to their back stair-well with him, hmmm?”

I walked over and dropped my bag on my desk while I waited this time to see if she was done. “I
was
over at Carter’s,” I admitted, because it was futile to deny it. I gave her the highly edited version of the story. “I didn’t have classes today and…Carter was off too. He asked if I wanted to get some coffee and there was this class in the bookstore, so we went upstairs. Seriously, we sat at his kitchen table.

You’ve seen it. No big deal.”

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She snorted inelegantly and derisively. “Riiiight. No big deal. Sure thing. But you’re not sleeping with him yet, right? You’d tell me?”

I flushed what must have been an incredible and practically instant shade of bright crimson. “No! God. NO. Jeez. I’ve only known him for a few weeks.” I was bumbling for words, and it came to me that I was protesting too much despite that it was totally true, so I thought I should just be frank about it. “I mean, we’re not even dating. And, honestly, I’ve…never before. So. I wouldn’t do that, even with him.

Not so soon. Okay?”

Something about the look on my face must have given away my tenuous emotional state. Amy softened and stood up to hug me.

“Okay, yeah, totally okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.

And…I know you wouldn’t have, not so quickly, even if you weren’t, you know.
Pure.
I was just teasing.
But,”
she said, releasing me to arm’s length, “it sounds like it
is
true that you were hugging Carter outside the bookstore and crying.”

I sighed. “It’s true. I was depressed. He helped. I don’t know what else to say.”

“Mm hmmm…” She nodded thoughtfully. “Well, if depressed is what it takes to get his arms around you, I guess it will do for now.

And you
really
just sat at the breakfast table?”

“Well, yeah.”

Now
she
sighed, dramatically and for emphasis. “Oh Lainey, my sweet, virginal roommate. It didn’t cross your mind that he took you up to his apartment in the hopes that you might spend your time…elsewhere?”

I think my flush came back, strong and deep, but I decided to be honest with her. Mostly. “I…think he wouldn’t have minded that,” I murmured. Of course, then she squealed so loudly I almost had to cover my ears.

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“HA! I knew it.
Fantastic!”
She was practically vibrating with glee, and was so delighted that I had to smile in response. “Uh, so why
did
you just sit at the kitchen table then?”

“It’s…complicated,” I hedged, not knowing quite how to explain the situation without
really
explaining the situation. I almost laughed when I recalled how Melinda Revell had said the exact same thing to me the day before.

Amy did laugh, a jolly, mischievous one. “Oh Lainey, it’s really not.

It’s actually pretty simple, and even if you didn’t know how, I bet Carter is a natural at it. Besides, I
know
you’ve been practicing on and off with Garrett. Hey, it’s not because of Garrett, is it? You know his A Number One priority is sports, right? Plus, I think he’s hopelessly in love with Alexis. I’ve…caught him mooning over her sometimes. It’s surprising; I thought a nice guy like him would have more sense than that. But…there is something compelling about Alex, and not just her beauty. I can’t put my finger on it.”

Right then I realized that Alexis, along with probably
all
the Legacy students, was Sententia too.

“No, it’s not Garrett,” I said. “I had no expectations from him. He, uh, was nice for practice though.” I smiled as I flopped on my bed.

Amy giggled approvingly. “That’s my girl. So really, what’s the problem? You want Carter; Carter wants you. This story sounds like the
opposite
of complicated to me. I’d say it was a little boring, and, honestly,
way
too easy for you. I’ve
seen
his girlfriends at the bookstore occasionally over all these years—he’s had a healthy selection, not that that should surprise anyone—but you know, I’d really like to
know
at least one of them, especially if it’s you.”

“I’ll see what I can do to satisfy your burning curiosity,” I replied dryly. “I’m just…hesitant, I guess. And I think he is too. He’s got his whole hang up on not dating Academy girls, and I…well, honestly, I’ve never been anywhere long enough to think about how I might like

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a guy after a year…or what might happen if it doesn’t work out and then I’m not gone anyway. I guess I’m scared.”

She looked at me for a while before saying, “Lainey, just this once, why don’t you try living where you are
right now
instead of where you’ll be six weeks or four months from now. You don’t have to overthink it. If it doesn’t work out between you, well, that
happens
. God knows I’ve had plenty of relationships that were over before they started, and loved almost every minute of them…” I coughed, an amused cough, to get her back on track. “Right. I’m saying you can’t go into a relationship being afraid of what might or might not happen. If it doesn’t work out, I promise you, the world won’t end and there will be other boyfriends.”

If only that would turn out to be true.

stayed in bed an extra-long time in the morning, luxuriating in the cozy comfort of my blankets, letting my mind review the last two days and every miraculous revelation they’d contained. Amy was I long gone and the room, the whole of Marquise House, was quiet and peaceful. I watched dust motes drift lazily through the sunbeams lighting my room to a warm yellow glow as I tried to come to terms with this strange gift I’d been given.

I thought for a long time about Ashley Thayer, about how I could possibly save her, but ultimately I could come up with no real solution.

I could warn her, but would that stop her from going on her ski holiday? I doubted it. How would I explain to her what I knew? And if I explained it, how could I make her believe it? I didn’t think I could.

Most likely, I’d be written off as crazy.

Finally I came to the conclusion that, however difficult it might be to accept, Headmaster Stewart had been correct. I was not a god, and I couldn’t save everyone. I determined then that I would try to figure out how to do
some
good with my gift, but I also steeled my spine and prepared to bear the burden of knowing some people’s deaths would be out of my hands, even if they were in my mind.

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It was time to start my second day of Sententia orientation. I tried pretending this was like the first week of college would be, but unfortunately that didn’t make it any less bizarre. After another guilt-inducingly long shower, and after blow-drying my hair, carefully select-ing a sweater, jeans, and boots, and even applying a little bit of makeup, I was ready to call Carter. I was also an idiot, because despite repeatedly telling my brain that I was
not
getting ready for a date, for goodness sake, my fingers couldn’t quite keep from smoothing my hair or adding a little more mascara.

He seemed to have been waiting for me.

“Lainey, about time.”

I detected a sincere crankiness in his voice, something I’d never heard before. He perpetually seemed in a good mood. Seriously, it was almost annoying. “Uh, good morning to you too.”

“Are you ready?” He practically interrupted me. “Meet me behind the store.”

I had no idea what his problem was, nor what he was planning, but I wasn’t doing it on an empty stomach. “But I haven’t had breakfast yet!”

“Exactly,” he said and hung up. Okay then. I grabbed my coat and headed across the street.

BEHIND THE STORE, in addition to the back entrance to the building, turned out to be where Carter parked his car, a small, older model, in decent condition and surprisingly clean inside. Having never had one of my own, even now that I could legally drive one, I was insanely jealous. When I came around the corner, he opened the passenger door for me like a gentleman and gave me an appreciative glance up and down which made me glad I’d spent a little extra time on my appearance that morning, but then got in and started the car without saying a word. I tried to play along with the mystery, but we were halfway to New Hampshire when I couldn’t take it anymore. The bor-100 | C A R A B E R T R A N D

der being all of five miles from the school, I obviously didn’t hold out very long.

“Where are we going?” I finally asked. “And what’s your problem?” Maybe there was some sincere crankiness in my voice too.

He glanced over at me, then ran his fingers through his hair and frowned. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m just hungry.” Apparently hungry Carter equaled grumpy Carter. Duly noted. “But I wanted to surprise you,” he continued. “We’re going to breakfast…it’s my favorite place.”

The way he said it, I got the impression his taking me there was special, important even. I kept quiet for the rest of the drive.

He pulled up outside a dingy, tiny place called simply DAD’S, with a sign that advertised breakfast all day. I opened my door to crisp moun-tain air scented like a greasy griddle. It was heavenly. In fact, I had a feeling this was about to be the best non-date I’d ever been on.

The restaurant consisted of a small, warm room that smelled even more strongly of delicious breakfast, with a short countertop and a handful of worn booths and tables liberally dotted with diners. A friendly-looking waitress pouring coffee across the way saw us and waved like we were regulars. She gestured we should sit anywhere, and I chose a small table near a window. The walls were an aged tin, as if we were in an old train dining car, and gleamed dully in the small space.

“I love it here,” I said earnestly as Carter sat across from me.

He laughed. “And you haven’t even tasted the bacon yet.”

“I can already tell it’s going to be amazing.” In fact, as my mouth watered and my stomach rumbled, I realized I hadn’t eaten much in the last few days.

The waitress bustled over with two cups of coffee and a single menu, which she handed to me.
So Carter was a regular,
I thought, which was confirmed moments later when the waitress said, “Hi, gorgeous.

We’ve missed you lately,” in a sweet country voice. I’d been a various

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city girl most of my strange life, but I’d come to learn that country voices were similar whatever state you were in. They may all have had a slightly different twang, but twang they did. I felt instantly at home here, and it was obvious that Carter was a favorite guest.

He smiled at her fondly. “I’ve missed you too, Mercy. And this is Lainey,” he said, “a new student at the Academy.”

Mercy eyed me curiously. “An Academy girl, huh?” She glanced at Carter with a touch of surprise, maybe even disapproval, which I didn’t think had anything to do with the fact that I probably should have been in classes at the moment. “A pretty one though for sure, and you look like a city girl, but if Cartwright likes you, I’m sure we will too. Pleased to meet you Lainey, and welcome to Dad’s. He’s in the back at the griddle. I’ll be back in a minute for you to tell me what you want.”

“Thank you,” I replied as she bustled away. I stirred sugar and cream into my coffee, while Carter sipped his straight, and asked him, “I guess you come here often…but not with Academy girls, huh?”

He laughed. “Yes, to both. Not even Jillian has come here with me.

Strictly locals. Until now.”

Wow. So his bringing me here
was
special. I felt privileged. And pleased. I got the feeling Carter was trying to convince me that everything he’d said yesterday was true. I sipped my coffee and nearly dropped it in surprise.

“It’s good!” In my experience, diner coffee was at best average and most often terrible, but cheap, and a viable method for ingesting caffeine. However,
this
coffee was fresh, strong, and, best of all, didn’t taste like it had been made the day before and sat on the burner since.

Carter smiled, as if he’d known I would appreciate the distinction.

“Best coffee in three states. But don’t tell the Andersons I said that,”

he added. The Andersons owned the coffee shop down the block from the bookstore.

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“It will be our secret,” I said solemnly and crossed my heart with my finger. “So what else is good here?”

“Everything.” His tone was so serious, I didn’t think he was exaggerating. When Mercy returned, he simply asked for “the usual” and she patted his arm affectionately before she left to put in our orders.

“They seem to like you here,” I said. “And that you come here often.”

“As often as I can, which lately, hasn’t been that regularly. It’s nice to be back. And with you.”

I think I blushed, just a little bit, but it might have been the warm coffee I was drinking too, I couldn’t be sure. I outwardly ignored the last part of his comment and asked about the first. “Why not lately?”

“Work,” he said and smiled pointedly at me.

“I, oh…you mean me? Watching me?” Jesus. I suddenly felt bad for not manifesting sooner.