Lost Daughters (36 page)

A
WEEK BEFORE SHE WAS DUE TO DELIVER HER BABY, LORETTA CALLED
home. It was Valentine's Day.

“Mama, it's me,” she announced. Loretta sounded so casual you would have thought that she and Maureen had been chatting every day since her departure.

Loretta did not apologize or explain why she had not returned any of Maureen's telephone calls.

“It's so good to hear your voice,” Maureen said. Her voice was shaking like she was about to throw up. “I hadn't heard from you and I was wonderin' what was goin' on with you these days.”

“You know I'm a busy girl, Mama. Me and Kyle plan to get married in a few months. Oh, our weddin' is goin' to be so cute. He's real close friends with this white dude who owns a house in the Hamptons. He said we could get married on his yacht.”

“A yacht? Oh my God!”

“Don't sound so surprised, Mama. You know the kind of people I like to associate with. I don't know any losers anymore.”

“I'm glad to hear that.” Maureen sniffed.

“Speakin' of losers, how is everybody doin' down there in Florida?”

“I don't know any losers down here in Florida, but everybody I do know is doin' just fine.”

“Oh. Well, that's nice. Anyway, Kyle really loves me. Mel didn't know what real love was.”

Maureen could have gotten a lot of mileage out of Loretta's last comment, but she didn't think it was worth it. What she did say was enough. “I kind of figured that out.”

“Kyle's mama is a white woman. I never thought that we'd have white folks in our family!”

“Neither did I,” Maureen said. She wondered what Loretta would say if she knew that a white boy had fathered her.

“And he's Jewish. I know what a Jesus freak you can be, so I hope him bein' a Jew won't upset you.”

“I don't care what his religion is. I just hope this boy Kyle is good to you,” Maureen managed.

“Oh, he's everything I ever wanted in a man—cute, generous, funny, ambitious, tall, and a great kisser. And he's not a
boy
, Mama! He's a mature man of twenty-two.” At least he's closer to Loretta's age than Mel was, Maureen was glad to hear. “Kyle is a makeup artist, so he knows a lot of people in the modelin' industry and he's goin' to help me make it to the top.”

Like Mel was supposed to,
Maureen thought. The comment was on the tip of her tongue. “I hope you'll be very happy, Lo'retta. You deserve it.”

“You bet I do. After all Mel put me through. And guess what, Mama?”

“What, Lo'retta?”

“Mel had the nerve to move in with some pig-faced little skank from
Detroit
of all places, the butthole of the ghetto world. Talk about scrapin' the bottom of the barrel! That hoochie-coochie woman made a lame music video with some has-been rapper—who just got out of prison—so now she thinks her butt don't stink. She had the nerve to tell me to my face that she was movin' to Miami to model.
Miami
! I told that numbskull that you don't end up in Miami, that you start off your career there. Anybody with a brain knows that South Florida is like an elephant's graveyard. That's why so many old people retire and move there to die. Anyway, Mel talked her out of it and they decided to stay in New York.”

“Harrumph. I didn't know you and Mel still talked to one another,” Maureen said sourly. She wanted to throw up every time Mel's name came up in a conversation.

“We don't. We just know some of the same people. That's how I get the news about him and that rag doll in blackface he dumped me for. I don't know if I told you, but you don't know how lucky you are that he's out of your life.”

“Oh yes, I do,” Maureen said quickly. “I wouldn't trade five Mels for one Jay.”

Loretta took her time responding. “Umph! You still with
Jaaay
?”

Maureen knew that Loretta had never cared much for Jay. She obviously still didn't and probably never would. The way she spat out his name made it sound obscene.

“We got married. I left you a message on your machine. You sent me a card congratulatin' us,” Maureen reminded her in a low, exasperated voice. “I hope
you
ain't gettin' senile like me.”

“I just forgot, that's all,” Loretta whined.

“You should be havin' the baby in about a week, right?” Maureen asked, holding her breath. She never knew what Loretta was going to say next.

“That's why I called you today. Will you get in touch with Big Mo'reen and tell her she should get up here right away? The next couple of days, if possible. I want her to be here the day I drop this load so she can take it off my hands and be on her way with it to Canada so I can put this out of my mind—and so I can start losin' this damn weight!”

“I'll call Big Mo'reen right away,” Maureen said quickly.

“Good! And, Mama, please take care of yourself,” Loretta advised, almost sounding like the caring, loving daughter she used to be.

“I will. You do the same, Lo'retta,” Maureen croaked. “Uh, Lo'retta, no matter what happens, I'll always be just a phone call away. My number will never change and if somethin' happens and you can't get in touch with me, you can always call up your uncle Virgil. His phone number is the same one he had since he got out of the army.” Maureen tried to think of other things to say to Loretta because she didn't know if Loretta was about to hang up, and she had no idea when she would speak to her again.

“Mama, I know I wasn't the best daughter in the world, but you did a real good job raisin' me. I wanted to let you know that. I know . . . I know you spoiled me on account of my twin gettin' drowned. I wonder how I would have turned out if she had lived.”

“I wonder that same thing myself, Lo'retta. I spoiled you and didn't whup you enough, but I did the best I could.”

“You did, Mama. I will always love you for that.” Loretta actually sounded remorseful. She paused and for a moment Maureen thought she'd hear a few sobs coming from Loretta's end. But she didn't. “I wish to God that Mama Ruby hadn't died so soon,” Loretta said, no longer sounding remorseful. Now she sounded angry. “She would have taken care of us! With her guidance and protection, our lives would be so different right now. She wouldn't have let Mel get close enough to even smell me or you, huh?”

“That's for damn sure,” Maureen agreed. “But Mama Ruby is gone and we have to live without her guidance and protection.”

“Yeah. And like I just said, I know I wasn't the best daughter in the world, but I know you loved me anyway.”

“We
did
have some good times together. Before and after Mama Ruby died. You weren't the worst daughter in the world, and I still love you,” Maureen assured Loretta.

“You do? You still love me?”

Maureen was surprised that Loretta sounded so surprised to hear that she still loved her. “I always will. That's what bein' a mother is all about.”

“Oh. It is? Hmmm . . .”

Maureen's mind almost shut down on her. The last thing she wanted now was for Loretta to be thinking about motherhood. She was terrified at the thought that Loretta may want to keep her baby after all. Maureen didn't know what she would do if she did, but she knew that Big Maureen would never get over such a major disappointment. She immediately began to do some damage control. “Uh, but bein' a mother is very hard work. You have to be really ready for it and you have to make all kinds of sacrifices. A baby could really put a girl's career on hold, maybe even end it!”

Loretta groaned in agreement. “Tell me about it. Anyway, if you and Jay ever have kids, I hope—” She stopped. “Never mind, Mama.” Then in a very loud and impatient voice she said, “Sorry, but I gotta run! Just get in touch with Big Mo'reen and make sure she gets up here in time to pick up this baby so I won't have to deal with it that much. She can sort out things with that Canadian couple. They are probably uppity anyway, so I'm glad I don't have to deal with them. I want this baby to be out of my life forever as soon as possible. I don't even want to look at it, but I will have to do that after all. At least for the first day after it's born. I haven't told my doctor that I am not keepin' this child, and it might look funny for me not to even look at it after it's born, and then for Big Maureen to show up in the hospital and take it on the same day. I'll take it home and hang on to it just long enough for Big Maureen to situate herself and be on her way with it.”

It.
Maureen wondered what Mama Ruby would say if she knew that her granddaughter thought of her child as an “it.” Well,
it
was going to be raised by the right—no, the
best
—mother. Just like Jay and Maureen had been.

B
IG MAUREEN ANSWERED HER TELEPHONE ON THE FIRST RING. WHEN
Maureen told her she needed to get ready to head to New York as soon as possible, Big Maureen told her, “Girl, I packed my suitcase the same day you told me Lo'retta was goin' to let me have that baby!”

“Now, don't you get up there to New York and say the wrong things to Lo'retta,” Maureen warned. “It could mess up our plans.”

“What do you mean? What wrong things do you think I might go up there and say to Lo'retta?” Big Maureen asked in a gruff voice. “I ain't stupid.”

“I know that, but we just have to make sure we keep our stories straight, that's all. Don't say nothin' that you and I and Virgil didn't discuss. If Lo'retta asks you somethin' you don't know, just play dumb, claim partial amnesia if you have to. When you get to New York, the basic story is you came to pick up the baby to take it to that childless couple in Canada. Don't add to that.”

“Hmmm. What kind of story will Lo'retta be tellin' the folks at the hospital? Don't they have all kinds of rules and regulations? I can't just walk up in there and tell them to hand me over that baby. This ain't no puppy I'm goin' to collect.”

“Lo'retta won't be tellin' them anything. I think she's goin' to take the baby to her place so you can pick it up there. She said you need to be in New York before or right after she gives birth so she won't have to deal with the baby any longer than she has to. And she told me she's gettin' married as soon as all of this is over.”

“Married? Heaven forbid it ain't to that doggish Mel. If I could get my hands on him, I'd wring his pecker off with my bare hands like I was wringin' a chicken's neck!”

“Mel dumped Lo'retta for another girl. Lo'retta's marryin' somebody else,” Maureen said glumly.

“Well, whoever he is, he has my sympathy. I'm goin' to pray for him. Lo'retta needs a whuppin' more than she needs a husband!”

“Well, it's too late for a whuppin',” Maureen whimpered, wondering if Loretta would have turned out better if she had whupped her as often as Mama Ruby had whupped Maureen when she got out of line.

“Little Mo'reen, I'm beside myself with disbelief! Only God knows what that girl will do next.”

“I know. She's somethin' else,” Maureen mumbled.

“Listen, I know you just got married a little while ago yourself and all, but can you meet me in New York?”

“What? Why?” Maureen gulped. “I don't think Lo'retta wants to see my face anytime soon. To be honest with you, I'm not that anxious to see hers, either.”

“I just need somebody strong like you to be with me in case somethin' goes wrong after I get there.”

Maureen laughed. “I don't think anything is goin' to go wrong. Lo'retta will be as anxious to get this baby off her hands as you will be to get it.”

“Her words don't mean much. I love my niece to death, but I wouldn't trust that girl as far as I could spit a plum pit. I'm just glad we got her to sign them papers. And I'm glad she bought that story about the globe-trottin' couple from Canada. If she ever calls you up and asks you to get in touch with that couple, you tell her that the last you heard, they went to some remote place in Africa or Asia and can't be reached.” Big Maureen snorted. “If she is still askin' questions after you tell her that, tell her you heard that couple and the baby got lost in some jungle somewhere, one of them countries in Africa where them rebels is slaughterin' folks left and right—especially foreigners. And they got a real bad hatred for foreigners. If that don't do the trick, nothin' will.”

“I don't think it'll come to that. In case it does, though, I'll come up with somethin' that'll throw her so far off track she won't know what hit her.” Maureen hated plotting against her own daughter, but her daughter had been plotting against her for too long. “To tell you the truth, I don't know when I'll get to a point where I want to see my daughter again anyway. She's got a
long
way to go to get back in with me.”

“I couldn't have said that better myself!” Big Maureen yelled.

“Thank you.”

“Now, will you meet me in New York or not? Lo'retta don't have to know you came too. You can hide out in my hotel room. You can wear dark glasses and a head scarf so she won't know you if she run into you on the street. I know you've already done a lot for me, hookin' me up with a baby and whatnot, but can you please do this for me?”

Maureen hesitated for several seconds before she responded. She could hear Big Maureen breathing through her mouth on her end. “Well, if it means that much to you, I'll meet you in New York. But no matter what, I don't want Lo'retta to know I'm there,” Maureen said, letting out a long, loud sigh. “I'll bring Virgil with me. Otherwise, me and him wouldn't get to see the baby until we visit you and Lukas again.”

“Bring Jay with you too. I like that young man, and I wouldn't mind seein' him again.”

“No! I don't want Jay involved in this in any way. He's got enough problems without me addin' somethin' like this. Besides, he might be the one to spill the beans someday if we tell him. Lord knows if Lo'retta ever finds out you got her baby and that I lied about that couple in Canada, all hell will break loose.”

“I guess you got a point there, baby sister. Then just bring Virgil with you if you can.” Big Maureen snorted.

Maureen called Loretta and obtained all of the necessary information that she needed to pass on to Big Maureen. Once everything was all set, Big Maureen had to chastise Lukas with a little violent activity to make him stop asking so many nosy questions about her “going to Alaska” without him to pick up their newborn baby. By the time she got through mauling his head with her fist, he was as meek as a newborn baby himself. Everything that Big Maureen had told Lukas about the mysterious nun and the unwed pregnant young girl in Alaska seemed suspicious, but Lukas knew when to shut his mouth. He didn't even question the bogus paperwork that had already been signed by the “girl in Alaska” that Virgil had put together. With the other papers that Loretta had signed, and the fake birth certificate that Virgil was going to produce after Big Maureen picked up the baby, everything seemed to be in place.

Maureen had no trouble arranging to take the week off from work, and Jay didn't protest when she told him she had to go to Louisiana again with her brother on a private family matter. He didn't ask and she didn't tell him the real reason. “Just be careful and hurry back,” was all he said.

 

Loretta gave birth three days later. Big Maureen had already checked into the opulent Waldorf Astoria hotel the day before. This was the first time that Big Maureen had ever stayed in such a lavish place. When she and Lukas traveled, they always checked into a Motel 6 or some other low-end establishment. This was a first-class situation. She had even purchased a first-class round-trip airline ticket for the first time in her life.

As soon as Loretta called Big Maureen's hotel room and told her to come pick up the baby, Big Maureen jumped into a cab. She carried a baby seat with her to haul the baby in and a shopping bag that contained an assortment of brand-new baby clothes.

Maureen and Virgil arrived in New York later that same evening. When they knocked on Big Maureen's hotel room door, she opened it with a smile on her face so big she looked like the Joker. “Y'all come on in and meet my precious little baby girl!” Big Maureen crooned. If she had died and gone to heaven, she couldn't have felt more blessed.

Big Maureen led Virgil and Maureen to the bedroom in her suite where the newborn baby girl lay wrapped in a pink blanket. Virgil and Maureen were in awe. This was the most beautiful baby either one of them had ever seen before.

What Maureen didn't know was that this baby, her first grandchild, looked so much like she did when she was a baby that they could almost pass for twins.

Virgil did a double take and blinked hard. He had to blink even harder to hold back his tears. He thought back to the night that Mama Ruby had brought Maureen home. It felt like he was reliving that same event over again. Even though this baby had been given up willingly, it still seemed unfair that she would go through life not ever knowing who she really was. If everybody involved kept their word, this baby would think that Big Maureen and Lukas had adopted her and that her real mother was some anonymous girl in Alaska. It had been agreed upon that if something happened to Big Maureen and Lukas, Virgil and Corrine would raise the baby. Even then, Virgil would maintain the lie about the baby's real mother being some girl in Alaska. If Loretta ever returned to Florida, Virgil wondered what believable lie he could come up with to explain why a baby he had inherited from Big Maureen, whose biological mother was some girl in Alaska, resembled her or Maureen. There were men all over the world who looked like Mel, so Virgil didn't care if the baby resembled him. The baby's appearance was the least of his worries though. For all he knew, it might not look like Loretta or anybody else they knew. But if he had to, he'd find a picture of a girl who had the same physical characteristics as Loretta and claim she was the baby's mother.

For about twenty minutes, Virgil and Maureen took turns holding and fawning over the newborn. Then Big Maureen gently placed the baby on the bed and excused herself to go use the bathroom. Then something happened that would haunt Maureen for the rest of her life. She blinked and let out a muffled gasp. She could not believe her eyes. Mama Ruby materialized out of thin air and hovered over the bed with a huge smile on her face as she stared down at the baby. Maureen thought her eyes were playing tricks on her, but when she blinked some more and rubbed her eyes,
Mama Ruby was still standing there.
And she looked as real as she had the last time Maureen had seen her. Maureen looked sharply at Virgil, who was staring toward the bed with his eyes almost bulging out of his head and his mouth hanging open.

The vision lasted almost thirty seconds. When it ended, Maureen gently nudged Virgil with her elbow. “Did you see—”

“See what?” Virgil said hoarsely, not allowing Maureen to finish her sentence.

“I think I saw Mama Ruby!” Maureen whispered.

“Oh, that's just stress. I think I see Mama Ruby all the time too,” Virgil whispered back. “It's all in your mind. Mine too.” He didn't sound frightened and he wasn't, but his voice was empty and weak. He was glad that Maureen just
thought
she saw what he
thought
he saw. Otherwise, he would have to sign himself into an asylum as soon as he got back to Florida.

“I don't think we should tell Big Mo'reen what we think we saw,” Virgil suggested. “We don't want to stress her out too.”

“I won't,” Maureen agreed.

Big Maureen rushed back into the room, wiping her hands on a towel. “I held my bladder as long as—What's wrong? Y'all look like you seen a ghost! Is my baby all right, y'all?” Big Maureen dropped the towel and shot across the floor and sat down on the bed. She lifted the baby, looking from Virgil to Maureen. “The way y'all lookin', I thought somethin' had happened to my baby!” Big Maureen said, gently patting the snoozing baby's back.

“I thought I saw a mouse,” Maureen lied. “That's all.”

“A mouse! Eeow! I'm glad I didn't see it. I would think that Mickey Mouse is the only mouse you'd ever see in a fancy hotel like this,” Big Maureen laughed. “Y'all must be seein' things.”

“Yeah, that's it. We must be seein' things,” Virgil said with a wan smile. There was an unbearably sad look on his face as he shook his head and sat down on the bed next to Big Maureen. She was gazing at the baby and repeatedly mumbling, “Coochy coo” as she tickled the baby's chin. “We got to give her a real special name,” Virgil suggested.

“There ain't but one name that's that special.” Maureen gave Virgil a pensive look. “Ruby Jean,” she suggested. “But I refuse to call her Mama Ruby.”

“I can live with that.” Virgil grinned, taking a deep breath, hoping it would make the tightness in his chest go away. “I'm sure that Mama Ruby—wherever she ended up—is lookin' down on us and she's real happy to hear that.”

“Yeah, we'll name her Ruby Jean, then. Big Mo'reen, what do you think about that name?” Maureen said with tears in her eyes and a huge smile forming on her face.

Big Maureen nodded. “Ruby Jean is a good name,” she cooed. “And it goes good with Clemmons.” She paused and kissed the baby's forehead. “I don't care what I have to do,
ain't nobody never goin' to take this baby away from me.
”

Virgil looked from Big Maureen to Maureen, giving her a strange look. Maureen knew what he was thinking. He had heard those exact words before. Virgil looked back at Big Maureen to make sure she wasn't looking at him. Then he smiled at Maureen and winked.

Maureen smiled and winked back at her beloved brother.