Lost and Found (43 page)

We had gone to eat breakfast before we came to the
boutique to shop and I'm having problems concentrating
due to my nausea. It's easier to hide from Cash when it
hits me at the house, but right here, right now with his
mother, is not going to be a small feat to hide.

"Do you happen to know where the restrooms are? I really
need to pee, before I start trying on any dresses. I think I
drank too much water with breakfast."

"That's a good idea. I'll go with you, because I need to go too.
They're right around the corner over here."

Oh no! She can't go with me for what I need to do. I
could say I'm coming down with a stomach virus or
something, but then she will probably insist I leave and we
plan this another day this week.

We reach the bathroom and I run into the closest stall and empty my stomach. Morning sickness doesn't care whether
its day or night before it shows its ugly head, but it is an instant relief when you find your release.

"Olivia? Honey, are you okay? You're not coming down
with something, are you? Should we try this in a couple of
days? Oh honey, you should probably go home and get into
bed."

It didn't take long this time, like it has been lately. I open
the door and go to rinse my mouth out at the sink and wash
my hands.

"No, it must have just been something I ate at breakfast. I
feel fine now, so I think I'll be okay. Are you ready to go
back and look at the dresses?" I go to open the door, but she
stops me.

"Olivia? Aren't you forgetting something?" Oh God.. What
did I forget? I look at her and she has a knowing look in her
eyes.

"I'm sorry? What did I forget?"

"Um. You never went to the bathroom. I thought you said
you had to pee." Oh my God. I'm so busted. Maybe.

"Oh, yeah! Sorry, I won't be but just a minute." I start
walking back into the bathroom stall and she grabs my
shoulder.

"Does Cash know?" I can either tell the truth here or I can
lie to her face and she will KNOW that I'm lying to her,
because I just cannot lie and then she will never trust me
again, so I just shake my head and immediately start
bawling.

She's the closest person that I have to my mom right now,
so I just walk to her and she pulls me into her arms.

"Shhh. It'll be okay. Oh, honey. How far along are you?
How long have you known?" I start bawling so hard I can't
even form words.

"I... I... I... Fou.. Fou... Found out las las last week. And
I'm eleven weeks pregnant. And, and, and Ca Cash
told me that that he...he... he didn't want...want....any
anymore kids, except for Gideon and Eden and said
that if... if I....ever got pregnant...that he would...make...me
get rid.. Of it... I can...can't tttell him...because I knnnow...he is going...to...think that I'm going to...ddddie!! I don't knnnnow what to dddooo!!"

I don't know how I got all of that out, or if she could even
understand what I said. I pull away from her and look into
her eyes to see if she hates me for lying to her son and she is crying herself.

"Oh, honey. You have to tell him. I know my son and I
understand his fears, but you are having a baby! I'm going
to have another grandbaby! I'm so happy! He will be
happy too. I know it will scare him a little bit, because of
Vanessa, but I know he wouldn't make you get rid of it."

"That was one of his conditions before we continued our
relationship. He asked me specifically if Gideon and Eden
were enough and I told him yes and that was when he told
me that if I got pregnant I would get rid of it, because he
wasn't going to lose another woman that he loved to
pregnancy again." Amelia looks furious.

"Was this before or after you two started getting intimate?"

"After. We had unprotected sex one time and afterwards I
was freaking out, because we forgot to use anything and that
was when he said it. We had a big fight about it actually."

"As well you should have! How can he look into Gideon and Eden's eyes and tell you to get rid of a baby that could be
growing inside your body? What did you tell him?" I
realize now that it's Cash that she's mad at and not me.

"I told him over my dead body, and that I've already lost
three children and that if it happened, then I would keep it.
I've never had complications with any of my pregnancies
and their deliveries were normal
and I told him that, but he still wouldn't budge. I can't tell
him. I'm sorry I'm lying to your son, but I want to wait until
after the holidays before I tell him and I'm past my first trimester."

Oh my God! My stomach is churning again. I run into the
empty stall again and throw up and continue to throw up,
until I'm dry heaving and there's nothing left. I come back
out and Amelia is grinning from ear to ear.

"They say that a lot of morning sickness is a sign of a
healthy baby. I know you're upset honey and I understand
why, but let me go with you to tell him. I am his mother, you
know. I can reason with him and get him to understand that this is a wonderful joyous occasion. Oh, I can't wait to
tell Gideon when I get home. He's going to be so happy for
the both of you."

"No! Please don't tell him! I haven't even told you the
worst part. Well, not the worst, but the main reason I'm
not telling Cash. You just don't understand how big this is."

"What do you mean by the worst part, Dear? Is something
wrong with the baby?" How do I even put this into words?
Surely, she will understand my ordeal when I tell her the
biggest news.

"Well, that's the thing. We aren't just talking about a
baby per se. More like babies, as in twins!!!!"

"Twins?" I've never seen a middle aged woman jump
up and down before until this very moment. Wearing heels
at that! She grabbed both of my hands and has me jumping
up and down with her and we are both giggling.

"Why are we jumping up and down? I'm going to throw up
again, if I don't stop." She immediately stops and gives me a
big hug.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. You just don't understand how happy
you've made me! By next summer, I won't only have 3
grandbabies, but 4! I always wished for twins, because my
father was a twin and it ran in the family, but twin grand
babies are just as good! Maybe even better!"

"Oh boy! So, it's YOUR fault I'm carrying twins! Which
also means its Cash’s fault! Hmmm. When I tell him I
guess I can use this little tidbit of information to my
advantage!"

"Yes, twins run in my family. I even have cousins that
are twins. Okay, honey. I will keep this secret for you until
after the holidays, but you make sure you eat when you're
hungry and get plenty of rest and take your vitamins. The
number one priority here is the babies, and you have to take
care of yourself first to take care of them. If you need me there when you tell him, just let me know and I'll be there in
a heartbeat. Does anyone else know?" Oh, she is going to be such
a wonderful mother-in-law one day. If that ever
happens, after Cash finds out I've betrayed him.

"Just Claudia. She will defend me to her death, before she
spills the beans, even though she isn't crazy about me keeping it from Cash."

"Well honey, you are carrying my grandbabies and I
already consider you my daughter-in-law and even though
we are getting to know each other, I will defend you to the
death as well. I'm the only mother
you have here to protect you. Are you going to tell your
parents?" I shake my head no and she questions me with a
look.

"I know. I should tell them, but my mom is already afraid
I've jumped in to fast with Cash and honestly, I feel like
I'm betraying him by Claudia and now you, knowing about it before him. When I tell him, then I'll tell them as well."

"I understand. I do want you to know that even though
you are lying to my son, I understand why and I do admire
you for protecting my grandbabies. The last thing they
need is for you to be fighting with Cash and getting more
stressed out than you already are. If you need someone to
lean on Sweetie, you call me, okay?" She gives me another
hug; a more tender, loving and warm embrace.

"Thank you for understanding and I will. Thank you so
much. I don't think I have anything on my stomach to
throw up, so are you ready to look at the dresses again?" I
never thought I'd have a heart to heart conversation in a public restroom, which has me giggling.

"Oh, yes. We need dresses! I got distracted with all of the
baby news! Okay. Let’s go find you something that will
make your eyes pop!"

We both found us gorgeous gowns and an adorable baby
blue dress for Eden to match mine and a tuxedo for Gideon.
Amelia made sure to feed me for lunch and I pigged out
and had to stop before we got home for me to throw up on the side of the road, because there was no time to stop
anywhere else.

Hanging out with her was as fun as hanging out with
Claudia, and it was great to feel like I had another friend to
lean on to give Claudia a break now and then. I would
never tell my mother this, but Amelia acts way younger than
her age, where my mother acts her age with her traditions
and values.

When we get back to the house, Cash is waiting for us in the
living room with his laptop sitting in his lap. He sees us
walk in and immediately gets up to greet us.

"Did you two have fun today? It sure sounds like it by the
giggling that I heard coming through the door." He reaches
down to give his mother a kiss on the cheek and then gives
me a quick kiss.

"Oh, Cash! I think I'm just as much in love with Olivia as
you are. We had such a great day. I think I'm going to adopt
her if you don't marry her. Either way, she WILL be my
daughter."

"Oh, Mother. You heard what I told Gideon. Let me ask her
first, okay?" He's chuckling and he puts his arm around me
and kisses me on the temple.

"Well hurry up. I'm ready for some more grandchildren. I
think I'm getting the baby blues again. Eden and Gideon are
still adorable, but I miss that baby smell and cuddling up in
a rocker with a newborn."
I tense up. Where is she going with this? Why would she
bring this up after I asked her not to?

"I'm sorry Mother, but you need to put a rush on Caleb,
because you won't be getting anymore grandbabies from
us. Liv and I already agreed that Gideon and Eden were
enough for us. Isn't that right, Liv?"

I stay straight faced and put a smile on my face and nod at
him, but inside my heart has broken in two. I want to run
away and hide somewhere and bawl. He definitely hasn't
changed his mind and the look that Amelia gave me, lets me
know that she was just feeling him out and that my secret
was safe with her.

"Oh, that's ridiculous! You're both still young enough to
have more. I always wanted a couple more children, but
after my hysterectomy after your brother was born that was it for me."

"Mother, I'm not budging on this and I explained why to
Liv and I shouldn't have to explain why to you about why I
feel the way I do. As a matter of fact, I've been debating on
getting a vasectomy. What do you think, Liv? That way you
won't have to get put on birth control and I'm getting sick
of using condoms! Sorry, Mother. I guess this should have
been a more private conversation, but you did bring it up."
Amelia's mouth dropped and then she closed it.

"Well, if that's what you two plan to do, then I guess I'll
start working on Caleb! Too bad Claudia is a lesbian,
because those two would make some beautiful babies
together. Oh, well. Thank you so much Olivia for going
with me today. I had a blast! We have to do it another
time." She gives me a hug and kiss goodbye and hugs Cash
and leaves. Cash looks over at me and grins.