Losing the Ice (Ice Series #2) (3 page)

“This is your fault!”

Chapter Three

The anguish pressing on my chest made taking a breath difficult. But I forced a deep one and leveled my eyes with Stephanie’s.

“Get out of my face.”

She didn’t listen and instead stepped closer. “Josh and I were partners for ten years, and he was never hurt like this. You’ve been his partner for ten minutes, and he ends up in the hospital!”

“Stop.” Em took Stephanie’s elbow. “It was an accident.”

Stephanie shook her off. “They shouldn’t be skating together. I said all along it was a horrible idea. And now Josh is lying in there…”

Her voice caught, and she pivoted and stalked over to her mother. Mrs. Tucker looked up from the paperwork she was completing as Stephanie sniffled loudly. My dad slipped his arm around me, but I stood tall because Mrs. Tucker was headed toward me. Unlike Stephanie, she showed no sign of tears. Only the same icy demeanor she always had.

“If you hadn’t caused Josh to change all his plans, we wouldn’t be here right now,” she said. “So you
are
to blame for this.”

Dad stiffened. “Now, listen—”

“So, you’re Joshua’s mother.” Mrs. Cassar came forward, her pointy chin tilted upward. “You’re exactly what I expected.”

Mrs. Tucker folded her arms. “And you must be Mrs. Cassar.”

“Yes, I am. We would’ve met before now if you cared enough about your son to visit him.”

“Excuse me?”

I wiped my watery eyes to see Mrs. Tucker’s indignation clearly. I’d expected Mrs. Cassar to have some words for Josh’s mom upon meeting her, but I had a feeling the stressful situation was going to make those words even harsher.

“Joshua is one of the finest young men I’ve ever known. He would make any mother proud.” Mrs. Cassar’s eyes blazed as bright as her dyed-red hair. “Except his own, apparently.”

“I want what’s best for Josh.”

“What’s best for him is being with this wonderful young lady and skating with her.” Mrs. Cassar gripped my arm. “If you really gave a damn about him, you would see that.”

Mrs. Tucker’s expression darkened further, and Em quickly inserted herself between the two women. “Why don’t we all focus on good thoughts for Josh right now? That’s what’s most important.”

“Yes, it is.” Mrs. Cassar said. “Not blaming innocent people.”

“There is nothing
innocent
about this girl.” Mrs. Tucker shot me another dirty look.

The tornado of emotion churning inside me could no longer be contained, and my hands flew to my head. “Oh my God! Josh could be seriously hurt, and you’re more worried about insulting me.”

“Because we wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you!” Stephanie cried.

“Please keep your voices down,” the nurse behind the desk warned.

I spun and retreated to the opposite side of the waiting area — as far away from Josh’s family as I could get. Em followed me and drew me into her arms. I clung to her petite frame, and she held me quietly until I pulled back to look at her.

“Was there any sign of him waking up in the ambulance?” I asked.

“The medics were around him, so I couldn’t see everything that was happening.”

“What if… what if he doesn’t…”

I tried to swallow the hard lump in my throat, but it strangled me. I couldn’t stop the fresh round of tears from flooding my cheeks.

“He will.” Em said confidently as she clutched my shoulders. “He will.”

We hugged again and sat in the chairs along the wall, holding hands and remaining silent. I was too busy praying,
Please, please, please let Josh be okay.

After what felt like hours, a white-haired doctor emerged through the huge double doors, and he huddled momentarily with Mrs. Tucker and Stephanie. They started toward the exam rooms, and I chased after them.

“Is Josh awake? I’m coming with you.”

“You are
not
family.” Mrs. Tucker held up her hand as a stop sign.

“I’m more his family than you’ve ever been.”

She was about to respond when Em came to my side and pleaded, “Let her go in. Please.”

I didn’t wait for consent. I charged past the Tuckers and walked directly behind the doctor. He led us down a wide hallway and stopped at a room with a half-open door. My heart crashed against my chest in anticipation of what I’d find inside.

I walked into the room and sucked in a breath. Josh was lying on the bed in a hospital gown.

And his eyes were open.

A cry of relief escaped my lips, and I flew to the bed. I was so overcome I couldn’t speak, so I put my hand on Josh’s cheek to let him feel my love for him.

He turned his head slightly and winced, but he quickly covered it with a little smile. “Hey, don’t cry. I’m okay.”

“Okay?” I squeaked. “You were unconscious.”

Behind me I heard the doctor tell Mrs. Tucker that Josh needed a precautionary CT scan to make sure he didn’t have more than a concussion.

“See?” Josh covered my hand with his. “Just a little bump on the head.”

His voice sounded groggy, and his eyes showed pain with every tiny movement he made. He might be trying to downplay his injury, but I’d heard how hard his head had slammed onto the ice. I’d never forget that awful sound.

“Can I see my brother, please?” Stephanie nudged my arm.

I didn’t appreciate her trying to shove me out the way, but I wasn’t going to have an argument with Josh lying there in obvious pain. I started to back away, but Josh held onto me.

“Stay here,” he said.

I smiled and squeezed his fingers. Stephanie scowled, but the lines creasing her forehead showed she was more worried than annoyed.

“Do you know how scary it was watching you fall like that?” she said.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” Josh said.

A nurse came in and took the doctor aside to speak to him, so Mrs. Tucker moved to the foot of the bed. She looked back and forth between Josh and me.

“I hope this will be the end of this ridiculous partnership,” she said.

Josh gave her an unblinking stare. “I’m not quitting.”

“What if you hit your head again? Are you aware of the dangers of multiple concussions? Do you want to ruin your future even more than you already have?”

I gaped at her.
Really?
This was the conversation she wanted to have five minutes after finding out Josh wasn’t seriously injured? Where was the joy, the thankfulness he was awake and talking to us?

“Your father can speak to the dean at UCLA,” she continued. “I’m sure he can reopen your admission.”

“I said I’m not quitting,” Josh spoke louder and grimaced.

I was about to go off on his mom when an orderly appeared with a wheelchair, and the doctor said it was time for the scan. I bent and placed a gentle kiss on Josh’s lips, and he tugged on my hand again as I tried to leave.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get to finish the program,” he said.

I shook my head. “Don’t even worry about that.”

“It was two of the best minutes of my life. I can’t wait to do it again.” He glanced around the room. “With a different ending.”

I smiled and gave him another kiss, and he finally let my fingers slip from his. After the orderly wheeled him down the hall, I quickly returned to the waiting area to give everyone the good news. We exchanged hugs all around, and Mrs. Cassar said, “I told you Joshua would be fine. Nothing was going to keep him from you.”

Mrs. Tucker was still giving me the evil eye, so we camped out on the far end of the waiting room until the doctor arrived with the results of the scan. When he said everything looked good, I placed my hand over my heart and sent up a silent prayer of thanks. Josh had to stay overnight, but it was just an extra measure of precaution.

“Do you want to try to see him before we leave?” Em asked me. “It’ll probably be hours before he’s moved to a room.”

“Oh, I’m not leaving.”

“You’ll have to sit in the waiting room all night,” Mom said. “Come back to the hotel and get some rest.”

“I’m staying, too,” Stephanie declared.

I gave her a curious look, and Mrs. Tucker said, “Josh will be sleeping. There’s no need for anyone to stay.”

“There might not be a need, but I
want
to be here,” I said.

“So do I,” Stephanie said.

Since
when did she start copying me
—
the girl she hates?

Em watched us both warily. “Maybe I should stay, too, then.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “You don’t have to babysit us. We’ll play nice. Won’t we, Stephanie?”

“I’m not here to talk to you. I’m here for Josh.”

I sighed. I preferred to be in peace and not have Stephanie’s bitchy vibes around, but I couldn’t fault her concern for her brother.

Josh’s room was going to be on the sixth floor, so Stephanie and I took the elevator upstairs. Our ride was silent and so was the deserted waiting room. I parked myself in the corner chair where I could stretch out and recline against the wall, while Stephanie took a seat on the other end of the long row of chairs. She removed her leather boots and curled her legs under her, and she tapped her manicured nails on her phone with rapid-fire speed.

I took out my own phone and pulled up the Facebook page Josh and I had created when we’d teamed up. Countless fans had posted messages wishing Josh well and saying how sorry they were about the accident. A few people we’d met at practice in Portland had posted photos of us beaming at each other as we’d run through our programs. My eyes misted as I gazed at our huge, excited smiles. We’d never thought our first performance together would end so disastrously.

I shook off the pity party and dabbed my eyes. Josh was going to be fine. Once he healed, we could pick up where we’d left off before the fall — skating just like we’d dreamed of doing.

My battery was creeping lower, so I put away the phone and watched Stephanie stare at the TV hanging from the low ceiling. Her eyes weren’t really focused on the
Friends
rerun, though. She appeared lost in thought.

I had often wondered if Stephanie had been born without a heart… if there was actually a hollow space in her chest like the Tin Man. But her excitement at seeing Josh upon arriving in Portland coupled with her emotional reaction to Josh’s injury made me think she may actually be somewhat human.

“You miss Josh,” I said.

She spun her head to face me. “Excuse me?”

“It must be hard not having him around. You guys were together for so much of your lives.”

“Are you a psychologist now even though you’ve never taken one college class?”

I leaned my head against the wall and deeply inhaled and exhaled. “I was trying to have a pleasant conversation for once. It’s just nice to see how important Josh is to you.”

“Of course he’s important,” she snapped. “He’s my brother.”

She might continue to be hostile, but I wasn’t going to stop trying to wear her down. She and I didn’t have many chances to speak alone, and this might be my one opportunity to change our frigid dynamic. There was zero likelihood I would ever break the ice with Mrs. Tucker, and Mr. Tucker was usually MIA, so Stephanie was my best shot at making any alliances in that family.

“I think you’re the only one in your family who really appreciates Josh’s talent and understands what makes him special,” I said.

She stared at me a long minute as if she couldn’t comprehend the fact that I was complimenting her. When she finally looked away, I saw her expression soften.

“We both took piano as kids, but Josh was way more into it than I was. I thought it was boring compared to skating.” She toyed with the cuff of her blazer. “Josh used to learn every song I asked him to. He loved the challenge.”

Now we’re getting
somewhere.

I pulled my knees up and rested my arms on them. “It never stops amazing me how he can listen to a song and learn it so quickly.”

“Not only that, but he can remember it years later. He has a musical genius mind.”

“He really does. I think the way he understands music so well is what’s going to make him a top choreographer one day.”

“I always knew he could be an amazing choreographer. Even when we were kids he would come up with ideas that were totally fresh and new.”

I cocked my head to one side. “Well, how about that. We’ve talked for two minutes without any insults.”

Her lips pressed into their familiar scowl. “Don’t think that makes us BFFs now. I still think you and Josh skating together is a terrible idea.”

She hadn’t said Josh and I dating was a terrible idea. Was that a small improvement?

“I get you don’t want him to skate with anyone else,” I said. “You were the only partner he’d ever had. But no one can take away what you guys accomplished. No one can take away your Olympic experience.”

“That’s right. And I don’t see you and Josh getting to the Olympics anyway.”

I smiled a little and pressed my fingers to my forehead. “After tonight, I just want to get through an entire program.”

Stephanie’s phone vibrated, and her face lightened as she looked at the screen and answered the call.

“I have to tell you what happened.” She scrambled to put on her boots and then walked toward the hallway. “It’s been the most awful night.”

Stephanie’s voice drifted farther away, and I slid down in my chair and used my jacket as a pillow against the wall. As I watched the
Friends
episode I’d seen a bazillion times, my eyelids grew droopier, and I gave in to the exhausting day. The next thing I felt was a hard poke on my arm.

“Wake up,” I heard as I slowly opened my eyes.

Stephanie was standing beside my chair, and daylight filled the waiting room. I removed my smashed face from my makeshift pillow and rubbed my eyes. My hands came away with smudges of glittery eye shadow. I’d forgotten I was still wearing my stage makeup.

“The nurse said we can see Josh,” Stephanie said and gave me a wrinkled-nose once-over. “You might want to look in the mirror first.”

I lifted my eyebrows. I would’ve expected her to let me walk around looking like a hot mess. Perhaps we really were making headway.