Lone Wolf (The Westervelt Wolves, Book 8) (17 page)

Sick wolf
, her wolf reminded her.

Like she had read her thoughts, Angel spoke again. “At some point, he stopped being well. Someone should have noticed. Someone should have done something.”

“It won’t happen again.” Carrie stared at Tristan and Ashlee. They stood holding hands, each one wearing a grim expression on their faces. Victoria’s daughter would never let the pack fall apart due to Tristan’s mental health. She could see the strength in her; feel her resolve through the link she shared with all of the pack. Victoria would be proud of the daughters she’d raised. They were strong, passionate women who knew their place in the world next to the men they shared their souls with.

All of Westervelt beat within her heart. They were smaller than they’d been when she was a girl; however, they were stronger than she’d ever known them. Scorched in fire, they’d risen from the ashes like a phoenix again and again. Nothing would topple this group. Not ever.

Her eyes sought Gabriel. He’d turned his back on the pack and limped away from the scene of carnage playing out in front of her.

Enough
. Timing would never be perfect and she would get some answers from him now.

She took off after him and caught him in a few seconds. He regarded her for a moment in silence before bending down to one of the clothing boxes. Without a word, he handed her a shirt and pants and waited while she dressed. She put on the clothes, still without speaking and waited for the man she’d trusted for four decades to tell her what had changed within him that made him seem like a virtual stranger now.

Finally she couldn’t wait anymore. “Explain to me what is happening. The curse is gone. Your wolf is back.” She grabbed his arm and shook it. “Where have you gone? I don’t know you at this moment.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “That’s probably a good thing. With our mating dissolved it’s the best possible thing for you. My punishment won’t have an effect on you.”

Carrie suspected if she looked in the mirror she’d resemble a landed fish. Her mouth hung open and she stared at him without being able to utter a word.

Do you have any idea what he means?
She looked to her wolf for clarification.

Her wolf shook her head.
Everything seems in order for our mating on this end.

“What exactly do you mean by our mating dissolved? I’m afraid I have no idea what that means.”

His eyes bore into hers. Nothing but pain shone through them. “It means we’re not mates anymore. You’re not inside of me any longer. The gods have saved you from me.”

Chapter 14

How much pain do I have to take before I can just die?
He looked at his wolf.

His wolf sighed.
I miss her
.

That stated it mildly.
Me too
.

He closed her eyes. She wanted to talk about this and he supposed she had earned the right to have it out with him. For forty years she’d endured hell because he’d asked her to. This beautiful lady who had once been his hadn’t realized she’d mated a fool.

The universe had fortunately given her a second chance.

“We’re not mated anymore, as you must know.” He cleared his throat. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am about everything. I wish I could go back and undo everything. I’d find a different way. Some set of circumstances where you could have been separated from me, not died, and not had to live with Kendrick.”

She put her hands on her hips. Carrie’s anger had always been a living, breathing, palpable entity in his life. Fierce and proud, she could lay into him like no other soul on the planet.

“I have no idea what you are talking about and I am seriously considering taking you back to Tristan and asking him to figure out if you’ve lost your gods-damned mind.”

He swallowed. This couldn’t be easy on her. “Which part of this are you not following?”

“None of it. I don’t get any of it. But let’s start with the not being mated part of it anymore.”

“Okay.” He nodded. “Which part of it don’t you understand?”

Carrie didn’t say anything for a whole beat of time. Maybe she wouldn’t; maybe he could go somewhere, dig himself a hole and die in it rather than live another moment without her.

Tears streamed down her face. He jerked backward like she’d struck him. “Why are you crying?”

Not that he couldn’t understand, but she should be basking in relief, not sadness. He sniffed the air. Nope, he did not scent happiness or relief.

“Why don’t you want to be my mate anymore?” She sniffed. He closed his eyes for a second and then opened them. “How is it even possible for you to decide that?”

“It’s not. I would never want anything but to be with you. But you’re not inside of me. Over time, and I certainly don’t blame the universe for doing this considering that I am the weakest, most pathetic male on the island and not worthy of you, the gods took your soul from my body.” He rubbed his stomach, the center of his body where she should have been wrapped up nice and tightly inside his core. “No mating to speak of.”

She reached out and grabbed his hands on his abs. “Are you serious?”

Her words brought him up short. “Are you saying you’ll still have me?”

Carrie didn’t say anything. She took his hands and brought them to her heart. He could feel its strong beat beneath his palms. “You’re right there. I can see all your colors. Feel your warmth. I’ve hung onto it for forty years like my lifeline. Are you telling me that my side of this abandoned you? Gave you nothing to have of mine for all that time?”

“Oh, Carrie.” He could barely speak. His throat tightened and a lump formed where his vocal cords should be. “This is not on you. This is on me. I’m just nothing. I think the gods changed their mind. They have a fierce warrior wolf in you. When I watched you take down Drea, without hesitation or thought, you looked…”

There were no words, nothing to say.

“I looked what?” She still hadn’t released her hands.

“You looked like a vessel of the gods sent down to remove evil from the earth. I wanted to be there with you, to help you. Then I realized you didn’t need my interference. You had it totally in hand.”

She pressed her head against his chest, rubbing her forehead on his shirt. Her hair smelled of flowers. He took a deep sniff knowing it would likely be the last time he got to do so.

“I have always needed you. Every day with Kendrick and Drea I craved your presence. Seeing you again kept me going but barely. I’d reached my end and then you arrived.”

“They took you from me.” He touched her red hair because it felt soft and, well, he had to. “Minute by minute you faded away.”

She looked up at him. “Tell me something.”

Her lips were pink and plump. It would be so easy to kiss her. So simple and so wrong. “Anything.”

“Do you still love me? After all this time being apart, when you look at me are you uninterested, or do you still love me?” Her brown eyes shone up at him. In the distance, a cheer exploded. Tristan must be making some kind of speech on Kendrick’s death, but Gabriel couldn’t bring himself to care about anything but Carrie.

“I adore you.” Gabriel rubbed the inside of her wrist. How did she manage to keep her skin so soft all the time? “I’ll love you every day of my life until I take my last breath.”

“Then we can fix this.” She shook him.
Surprisingly hard
.

She’s tough. You just watched her kill Drea
.

He smiled.
I’ve always known how capable she could be. She’s tougher now and it’s gorgeous on her
.

“How do you suggest we do that? You’re missing from my body. I’m half a man without you. It seems pretty clear.”

“No.” She patted him on the chest. “You’re not half a man. Tristan told me nearly everything he is today is because of your influence. You’re strong and capable. I refuse to let you think yourself as anything other than that.” She took a deep breath. “This is part of the spell Drea did. There’s no other explanation. I haven’t aged and neither have you. That would indicate no mating. But I still own your soul. That says mating. Kendrick did something.”

Her words made some sense. “When he took you with him he said he was going to break me. That I would come to him when I’d lost it. What if this is how he arranged it?”

“Day by day.” She put her hand around the back of his neck. “Hour by hour. He took away me. That’s the equivalent of one mate losing the other to death. What happens when one mate dies? The other does. And yet you’ve hung on. Tell me the truth, Gabriel Kane, and don’t you dare lie to me. Do you want to die?”

He didn’t have to think about it twice. “Every day without you.”

“You’ve resisted the urge to die for this long and you still think of yourself as weak?” She raised her voice to such an octave he thought it likely everyone could hear her even over Tristan’s words.

“What do you suggest that we do? Go use the witch we have now? Is she someone’s mate?”

She nodded. “That’s right. You weren’t here either. Elizabeth is Rex’s mate and she’s fabulous. Rex, it turns out, is also not your father’s son.”

He took a deep breath. “Nothing surprises me anymore.”

“I know.” Carrie stood very still looking at him. Her eyes darted back and forth in her eye sockets. He’d seen her do this before when she fell deep into thought. “And we don’t need Elizabeth.”

“What do you think we require?” He’d do anything at this point for one more chance. If such a thing happened to be possible.

“We put it back.” She took his hand and yanked him forward. “Come with me.”

Carrie ran so fast he had to strain to keep up with her. His body didn’t want to work. Kendrick had died. What else remained for him to do?

Knock it off. I understand the compulsion, but we have to let Carrie see what she can do. We’re not going anywhere. Not if she still wants us
. His wolf ordered.

Right
. He had to stop being so despondent.

She pushed through the doors of the residence and a few seconds later they arrived in his rooms. He hadn’t seen them in almost a year. They smelled like Carrie now. He warmed at the thought she’d slept there, in his room surrounded by his stuff.

“We put it back.”

He blinked. “I’m sorry. I didn’t follow that. We put what back?”

“My soul. I know how it got there the first time. We just need to put it back.”

Carrie pulled the shirt over her head and off her body. It landed with a soft
thud
on the floor.

He sucked in his breath. “Are you suggesting what I think you are?”

“Gabriel Kane, make love to me like you mean it.”

She took two steps and launched herself into his arms. He caught her in a tight embrace. “Carrie, I don’t know if this will work but I’m glad to try.”

“More than glad.”
He spoke to her telepathically. Using that gift had been too painful. Telepathic talk with a woman who had once been his mate pained him like a dagger going off in his head. Using it with his love that could still be mated to him made his heart soar.

“Good.” She kissed his nose.

Their mouths touched, drawn together with a need he’d forgotten but now knew he’d never be able to live without again. She tasted like life itself and he opened his mouth to welcome her tongue inside.

Carrie moaned and squeezed him tighter with her legs. Her bare breasts pushed against his shirt and he could feel her hard nipples through the material.

Fuck standing up. It didn’t give him the kind of maneuvering he needed nor did he trust himself after all that time to not have his knees buckle. He whirled them both around until they reached the bedroom.

In two strides he had her laid down on the bed beneath him. She was naked from the waist up and his wolf senses let him know that her panties were wet from wanting him. He grinned, knowing she had to be able to tell from where his excitement stemmed. Not that she didn’t also have access to his level of sexual interest. In her case, she could just look down to see his cock pointing at her through his pants.

“I like your grin.” She rubbed the side of his face. “You look like yourself right now.”

“That’s good.” He didn’t want to focus too hard on how he must have appeared earlier.

“Let me feel your skin too.”

He nodded. No one would understand better than he did what it would mean for Carrie to feel his flesh beneath her fingertips. It had been too long. He tore the material from his body. She had patience for things like removing clothing. He did not.

She reached out and caressed his chest, tracing the muscles of his abdomen with her fingertip. He shuddered and his cock got even harder. Another second and he’d lose control completely.

He bent over and took her nipple in his mouth. She moaned and squirmed beneath him. Carrie had always liked having her breasts touched, played with, sucked.

“This feels so wonderful.” She had a growl in her throat. “It’s like the first time only I know you so well. I know your body. I remember how to make you scream.”

“You do, huh?” His woman. She had to still be his. No one else in the universe could be allowed to see her like this.
Ever
.

Carrie pushed him over until she lay on top of him. “My turn.”

“As you wish.”

She licked her lips. “After all, this is all about getting my soul back in your body.”

“Well.” He pinched her belly button and she squealed. “Maybe not one hundred percent about that.”

His cock jerked and she reached out to hold the tip of it. He made a noise he didn’t remember ever making before and prayed to the gods he didn’t spill his cum right into his pants.

She stood up, keeping her legs positioned on either side of his. Shaking her hips, she shook her oversized pants right off and onto the ground. From his vantage point he could see her pussy, wet and ready for him, perfectly.

“That’s quite a view you’re giving me. I might have to make you stay up there permanently.”

She gave him a half-smile, part of her grin going into a sideways twist. “That would be rather inconvenient.”