Lone Star Holiday (6 page)

“See, I can’t do this.”

Rachel looked at Lorrie Ann with steel in her eyes. “Kindergartners are too young to be in the pageant.”

Lorrie Ann turned back to John. “Sorry.”

His warm smile made her feel worse. “We’ll work it out. God has a plan.”

“What about you, Pastor John? You could lead the music part.”

Rachel glared at her again. “Daddy doesn’t do music anymore.”

Uncle Billy tapped his watch, drawing all their attention.

Aunt Maggie jumped up from the table. “Oh, my, look at the time. We need to head over to the church for the prayer meeting. Pastor John, you’re going to be late.”

Lorrie Ann started gathering dishes.

“Oh, don’t worry about those. Lorrie Ann, you go with Pastor John. Yolanda, we have to pick up Dolly.” Without another word, she followed her husband out the door.

Chapter Seven

L
orrie Ann watched the screen door bounce shut with Aunt Maggie’s quick exit. She sighed.

A heavy trepidation fell on her shoulders. The thought of going to the church and facing all the people from her past made her want to curl up under her quilt and never come out.

Her hands had a slight shake to them as she carried bowls to the counter and started covering them with foil.

She closed her eyes and drew in a slow deep breath. Feeling calmer, she turned back to the table and gathered more dishes. “I’m not going. I’ll stay here with the girls and clean up.” She focused on her voice sounding casual and nonchalant, throwing a smile over her shoulder for good measure.

John had started to scrape the dishes, and his light chuckle caused her to think she wasn’t as successful as she imagined.

“Oh, no, you don’t. After the Wednesday-night prayer meeting, the girls have choir. The committee meets while they’re singing.” He leaned a hip against the counter. “You can get information on the pageant. No commitment just information. I promise.”

John took the glasses out of her hands and placed them in the sink.

“Someone once told me, we always do what Aunt Maggie says.” He ended that sentence with a wink.

“Smart man.” Unable to resist his charm, she smiled.

Celeste giggled while she held the door open for Rachel. “Lorrie Ann, you get to ride with us.”

She needed a way out. “I can bring the girls home for you.” She opened her eyes wide. “Don’t you have some kind of vow to help damsels in distress? Come on. Please, give me an excuse to leave the committee meeting early. You would be rescuing me from the dragons roaming the streets of Clear Water.”

His laughter rumbled deep from his chest.

“I think you’re confusing me with a fairy-tale hero. Besides, the dragons aren’t bad. Their intentions are good, even if a bit meddlesome at times.” He looked her straight in the eyes. “Anyway,
helpless
is not a word I would associate with you.”

A grateful smile eased across her face. “It’s nice that you think that of me.”

* * *

John cleared his throat and moved to the door. “We need to leave.” She ran across his mind more than he would ever admit.

“Come on, Pastor John—taking the girls home will give me a good way out. Please?” She placed a hand on his sleeve.

He focused on her face. “Okay. You bring the girls home.” He held the door open. “Come on, Lorrie Ann. Rachel’s beating us to the truck. Can you manage in those boots or do you need help?”

With a flip of her hair, she rolled her eyes and passed him to walk through the door.

John tried not to be aware of the exotic-smelling perfume mixed with sunshine. It had danced through his dreams all night. He popped a green Jolly Rancher in his mouth and followed her to the truck.

Sliding behind the steering wheel, he noticed Lorrie Ann as she glanced over her left shoulder at the girls in the backseat. She then leaned toward him and whispered in a hushed voice, “I just want to warn you, taking me to the church is asking for a disaster in your chapel. Don’t be surprised if lightning strikes.”

He felt one eyebrow pop up as he bit back another laugh. Man, she was fun. Leaning in, he winked at her and whispered back, “God never actually struck anyone down with lightning, not in the Bible, anyway.” That was so lame. He had to stop himself from groaning aloud.

It had been years since he’d flirted, but really, was that the best he could do? How had he ever managed to get Carol’s attention?

He closed his eyes briefly. The images of his wife sitting on the floor and listening to him sing flashed in his mind. She had loved his music. Up until the point his music had become more important than her or God. Opening his eyes, he stared at the hand that used to wear his gold band. He had put those mistakes behind him along with any thought of starting another relationship.

With locked jaws he put his truck in gear and headed to the church. He needed to focus on his daughters and work.

* * *

Pulling into an empty parking spot on the main street, John slipped out the door with just a smile and wink. Lorrie Ann sat frozen as she watched him trot across the small manicured lawn in front of the town’s picturesque church, complete with white clapboard, steeple and beautiful stained-glass windows. He greeted people at the large double doors that stood open.

If she had her way, she would have stayed in the truck. Instead, Celeste grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the safe cocoon of the cab. So with a deep breath, she reminded herself to smile, stand tall and fake it as long as she needed to.

Rachel, already out, swung her crutches and looked back with a scowl. “Hurry, we’re late.”

Lorrie Ann decided to ignore the curious and shocked faces as Celeste led her through the doors and to the front pew.

“This is where we sit,” Celeste whispered. She turned and waved to a little boy a few pews over.

Rachel gritted her teeth and pulled her sister down. “We’re already late, so behave.”

Lorrie Ann closed her eyes.
Great—a few days in my company and the pastor shows up late to his own prayer meeting.

Sitting up front worked out well because she could focus on God and ignore the peering eyes behind her.

The prayer meeting only lasted about thirty minutes. People took turns reading assigned scriptures. Requests and praises were shared, and finally John led the group in one last prayer.

As people started moving around, Lorrie Ann saw her aunt slide out the back door of the church.

Lorrie Ann looked down at the girls, not sure where to go. “What now?”

Rachel rolled her eyes and started pulling herself up. “We go to the children’s building for choir. You need to head to the fellowship hall for the committee meeting.”

Celeste grabbed her hand. “Come on. I’ll show you.”

John joined them as they passed the back doors. “Hey, thought you three beautiful gals could use an escort.” He winked at Lorrie Ann.

“Daddy, you’re so silly.” Celeste giggled as he tickled her. They moved out the back door and walked across the small courtyard. Celeste held her father’s hand then reached over and grabbed Lorrie Ann’s fingers.

She relaxed when Katy Norton, now Buchanan, opened the door for them. It had been nice to reconnect with her friend from high school. Now Katy corralled a group of boys into the next room. “Rhody! Paul! Take these boys outside.” She turned to Lorrie Ann with an all-encompassing hug. “I didn’t get to greet you earlier. I’m so glad you came. Maggie came by the store and said you would be taking charge of the annual pageant.”

John gave Katy a quick hug. “Well, we got her here, but no agreements yet.”

Katy patted Lorrie Ann’s arm. “Oh, it’ll be good. I was so excited when Maggie told me you might do the pageant. I love the mysterious ways God works.” She hugged her again. “I’ve got to go. Poor Abby has all eighteen girls by herself. I’ll introduce you to my boys later.”

Together she and John headed to the fellowship hall. Lorrie Ann’s knees started to feel rubbery, and it had nothing to do with the stone walkway or her high heels. As they approached the back door, nausea rolled down to the pit of her stomach. She stopped.

Lorrie Ann could already feel the heavy judgmental stares like stones thrown at her soul. Why had she let them convince her going to church would be okay?

Whispers screamed her unworthiness. She didn’t belong in this community. She could be a Christian without going to church.

“Lorrie Ann?” John’s fingers gently braced her wrist, bringing her back to the present. The concern in his voice mirrored the worry in his eyes. “Are you okay?”

She turned from him to study the moths fluttering in the security light at the corner of the building. She could march in there with all the confidence she carried in L.A., but she didn’t feel like pretending tonight. She’d made a huge mistake coming here.

Moving away from John, she shook her head. “I’m fine. I’m going to the car.” She closed her eyes. No car...trapped. “I’ll...help the girls. Katy...um...had a roomful of kids.”

“She has Rhody, Abby and Paul to help with the children’s choir.” He grinned at her. “Man, you must really be scared if you’d rather spend the next hour with a bunch of kids than face the adults.”

His words triggered a flash fire of outrage through her body. Her hands fisted at her hips. “Scared? I’ll have you know there is nothing these people can say or do to me—”

Stepping back, he threw his hands up, palms out. “Just a little joke.” He tilted his head and looked her straight in the eye. “A vein looks like it’s about to derail from your neck.” He gently put his hand on her shoulder. His smile faded and compassion filled his gaze. “Don’t go in if it upsets you this much. But you could also focus on God instead of these doubts and fears.”

He offered his strength, and she wished she could accept. She pulled back and wrapped her arms around her ribs. The blue door leading to the fellowship hall taunted her. “The last youth night I attended, Vickie told everyone I had parked under Hammond Bridge with Tommy Miller, the quarterback. I knew they had gone to the prom together, but I always thought she and Jake Torres liked each other. I know Jake liked her. I thought Jake and I were friends, but...” She bit down hard on her tongue.

She glanced again at the moths dancing around the light. It looked welcoming and safe, but she knew how it burned if you got too close. “Then she started a rumor that I left with Jake. I can’t believe he’s a state trooper now.”

She twisted her silver bracelets around her wrist. “Both those guys seemed to follow her around everywhere, so I never understood why she lied about me being with them. Jake and I were friends, but Tommy never even gave me the time of day until the rumors started. I should have ignored them, but everyone believed her.” She couldn’t bring herself to tell him what had hurt the most. She stood alone while Yolanda walked past her to join Vickie’s group. They turned their backs to her, giggling and whispering.

The old pain felt just as fresh as it did then. She had become the outsider again. Unable to comfort the seventeen-year-old girl she had been, she closed her eyes.

John approached her, his fingers warm and strong as he squeezed her shoulder. She turned her head away, not wanting him to see the weakness of her stupid tears burning her lids.

She shrugged. “Without knowing why, I had been exiled from the group.” Her eyes burned and her voice sounded harsh to her own ears.

How could something from twelve years ago hurt so much? This was why she never talked about the past.

“Lorrie Ann, fear will stop us from living the life God meant for us to live.” He kept his gaze on her. “You don’t have to go in with me, but I think you’ll find it friendlier than your teenage memories.”

The sincere concern in his golden-brown eyes jabbed at her self-pity.

She forced a smile. “Truthfully, I had some very unchristian experiences in that building.” She tossed her hair and stretched her spine until she stood an inch taller. “But I’m a grown-up now and need to act like one.” Maybe this was why God had brought her back. With a firm nod of her head, she placed her other hand over his.

John moved in front of her and waited until she made eye contact. “Lorrie Ann, people will hurt us. It’s unfortunate but true. We all have our weaknesses and insecurities.” He smiled. “God’s always true. You have to trust in Him...with all things.”

“I just don’t want you to get caught in the cross fire. You’re a very nice man.”

He rolled his head back and groaned. “Oh, no.” He fixed his stare back on her face.

She stared back with a blank expression. What was he talking about?

The corner of his mouth pulled to one side, giving her a lopsided grin.

From inside the fellowship hall, Aunt Maggie tapped on the kitchen window. Sliding it open, she called to them. “Lorrie Ann! Pastor John! What is taking you two so long? Come on in. Everyone is waiting.”

Leaning in close, he looked her directly in the eyes. “Are you sure you’re ready?” He held his arm out to her.

She smiled at John’s gallant gesture. She had asked God for a sign, and now she walked back into a church on the arm of its pastor. Maybe now she should start trusting God. She had already waited twelve years. Nodding, she placed her hand on John’s arm and walked through the blue door by his side.

Chapter Eight

L
ike dominoes falling, silence moved from person to person as each became aware of Lorrie Ann’s entrance with John. Memories connected to the smell of lemon beeswax and coffee filled her head.

Aunt Maggie stood at the counter making fresh coffee, a broad smile on her face. “Lorrie Ann, come over here.”

Avoiding eye contact with everyone, she headed straight to the safe harbor. Maybe if Aunt Maggie had been there twelve years ago it would have ended differently.

She had Lorrie Ann unwrap the homemade desserts and arrange them next to the coffee. People started milling around, pouring coffee and filling small plates with cookies, cake and pies. Many even greeted her, welcoming her back. Tension eased. Everyone had a smile for her.

Lorrie Ann made a quick glance around the small crowd, looking for Yolanda. She spotted her at a table on the far side of the room, next to Vickie.
Great!
Her warm-and-fuzzy feeling might have been a bit premature.

Vickie glared at Lorrie Ann with her arms crossed over her chest.

Please stay over there, please, please.
Vickie moved toward her. Lorrie Ann’s spine deflated for a moment.

With bold strides, Vickie headed straight to the dessert bar. Lorrie Ann fought back the somersaults that started low in her belly. Tossing her hair over her shoulder, she took a slow sip of her coffee, never taking her eyes off Vickie’s sour face.

“What are you doing here?” The sugar-sweet tone of Vickie’s voice didn’t hide the malice puckering her mouth.

Lorrie Ann allowed the silence to linger. Her gaze traveled around the room until it landed back on Yolanda, still sitting at the far end of the room. Her cousin twisted a strand of dark hair around her fingers as she chewed on her bottom lip. The whole time Yolanda’s crossed leg jerked up and down.

Vickie started squirming, stretching her neck. “So?”

Keeping a bored look on her face, Lorrie Ann shrugged and took a bite of a snicker-doodle Celeste and she had made earlier. “Aunt Maggie thought my expertise could help, and Pastor John offered me a ride.” Taking another bite of the cookie and a sip of her heavily creamed coffee, she paused before asking her own question. “What are you doing here?”

Vickie leaned in and whispered, “I belong here.”

John stood at the head of a group of tables pushed together and called for the meeting to start. After commanding everyone’s attention, he called Lorrie Ann over to him.

She smiled at Vickie. “Excuse me. Pastor John needs me.”

Her smile fell a bit when she noticed all eyes on her. Nevertheless, she moved to the front and sat down in the empty chair next to John. She squirmed a bit in the metal chair, feeling guilty for the pettiness of her last thought about Vickie. She really needed to grow up.

“First, I want to thank each of you for being here. The giving of your time and talents makes this annual event a special testimony to God’s love.” He turned to Lorrie Ann and smiled.

The bottom of her stomach fell out, but she made sure her own smile hid any discomfort and anxiety.
Fake it, girl.

“Many of you know Lorrie Ann Ortega as Billy and Maggie’s niece. She also happens to have experience managing and organizing large musical events. Fortunately for us, she’s visiting for the holidays, and Maggie, Katy and I are working on her to lend a hand in the absence of Martha. She’s come tonight to see what we have and what we need. So, please share any information you have that might convince her to assist us.”

Applause filled the old fellowship hall. Lorrie Ann relaxed.

Maggie started handing out packets. The rest of the meeting ran smoothly, and, keeping an eye on the clock, Lorrie Ann jumped up to get the girls. Her goal: reach the back door without talking to anyone.

She stopped breathing as Jake Torres made his way toward her. Being a state trooper fit him. In high school, he had walked across campus with purpose and power. All the girls loved him, and she had counted him as a friend. When he’d remained silent in the face of the horrible rumors, it was clear who was more important to him. Vickie was part of his crowd, and they reminded her she would always be the outsider. Of course, Lorrie Ann had heard Vickie had ended up married to Tommy, so he had been on the losing end also.

She remained stiff as Jake pulled her into a quick bear hug. “Let me officially welcome you back.”

Even with her heels on, she only reached his upper chest. In her silence he continued. They were all adults now; she really needed to get over the old hurts.

“I wanted to thank you. Not everyone can keep calm at an accident site. You helped the girls and John. I imagine it wasn’t easy for him.”

Lorrie Ann smiled and nodded as she waited for something ugly to enter the conversation. How could he talk to her as if he didn’t know his silence had destroyed her life in Clear Water? It was twelve years ago; maybe he forgot.

He just smiled and kept talking as if they were long-lost friends. She knew if she wanted to grow in her faith, she’d have to let go of some of this bitterness. But really? Not even one small
sorry?

“You should help out with the pageant. I’m the construction chair this year. There’s about twelve of us on the committee, and basically we can build anything you throw at us.”

John joined them. The men greeted each other before he turned his attention to her. “I have a financial-committee meeting, and it’ll probably go late.” He glanced back to Jake with a wary grin. “JoAnn and the ladies want to buy a new vacuum cleaner, and George and his boys think it’s a waste of money.”

Jake laughed, patting John on the back. “It’s good seeing you, Lorrie Ann. I’m outta here before someone needs a peace officer.”

She managed to nod. Once alone, John tilted his head slightly to the right. “Are you good?” He spoke softly.

“The church is still standing. I’d call it a victory.” She grinned and tucked her hair behind her ear. “But I’m still not sure I want to take on the pageant.”

“Maggie’ll have all the information you’ll need.” He handed her the keys. “Ready to take the girls home?”

She smiled as relief flooded her body. “That’s the plan. I’ll go get them.” She paused. “Thank you, John.”

She slipped out of the door, heading to the children’s building. Her steps were light, feeling as if she had conquered some childhood fear, but her celebration might have come a little too early.

Vickie ambushed her halfway down the curved sidewalk.

“Hey, don’t walk away from me.” Vickie grabbed Lorrie Ann’s arm and spun her around.

Too tired to put up with the attitude, Lorrie Ann pulled her arm free and kept walking.

“The way you throw yourself at Pastor John is wrong,” Vickie hissed at her back, following her. “You’re pathetic in your cheap boots and L.A. ways. You stay away from those little girls. They need a real mother.”

Lorrie Ann froze then slowly turned and faced her high-school nemesis. Silence filled the air between them, the minutes stretching out. Lorrie Ann prayed for the right words, to harness her anger. Her pulse raced as her breathing grew heavy.

The past twelve years disappeared. Inside, Lorrie Ann felt like the seventeen-year-old girl that never stood up for herself. She put her fisted hands on her hips and opened her mouth to give it all to her. “Vickie, you need to...” Lorrie Ann paused.

Anger and bitterness radiated off Vickie, her chest raising up and down in quick motion. Vickie stood alone. Lorrie Ann thought about her living in a trailer on her parents’ property and working at the local grocery store, the one-time prom queen divorced by her perfect quarterback sweetheart, Tommy Miller.

Immediately Lorrie Ann pulled back her words. They came from her anger, not God. She turned her back and went to collect the girls.

Vickie, Jake and Tommy still seemed to have some left-over issues. She refused to be pulled into high-school drama again. She had her own problems to deal with in order to figure out her own future.

* * *

Lorrie Ann rested her hand on the light switch in John’s bedroom. He’d thought with Rachel’s hurt leg they should sleep downstairs, and he would sleep on the sofa. Growing up with her mom, Lorrie Ann’s only bed had been the sofa in whatever apartment they’d stayed in. No adult had ever given up their bed for her.

She had tucked the sheets around his daughters, and now they looked so little in his big bed. “Good night, girls. Lights out. I’ll be in the living room until your dad gets here. Okay?”

Celeste popped up. “No, we’re not done!”

Lorrie Ann paused to think what she might have missed. Nothing came to mind. “Well, let’s go over the list.” She touched one finger. “Bath?”

“Check.” Celeste bobbed her head.

Lorrie Ann smiled and added a second finger. “Pajamas on.”

“Check.”

“Teeth brushed.”

“Check.”

“Backpack ready for school?”

“Check.”

“I can’t think of anything else.”

“You forgot something.” Celeste giggled and sat with her legs folded under her.

“Um...a drink?”

“Nope.”

“Uh...let’s see.” She racked her brain trying to figure out what she had missed. “A good-night kiss?”

“Nope.” She bounced her legs. “Silly, Daddy does that.”

“We got the pillow and blankets out for your dad.” Lorrie Ann looked from Celeste to her older sister. “Rachel, can you give me some help here?” A slight shrug was the only response. The silent treatment had pretty much held up all night.

“Let me think.” Pinching her nose, she closed her eyes and a new thought occurred. “Oh, I have it.” She snapped her fingers. “Your prayers.”

“You’re closer.” The six-year-old stretched out the two words. “We do those after the next thing.”

Lorrie Ann drew her brows down in confusion. “After what, Celeste? Please just tell me.”

Celeste crossed her arms over her small chest and pouted. “You have to guess.”

“Celeste, your father told me you would drag out bedtime, so I can just turn off the lights and go to the living room.”

With a heavy sigh, Rachel flopped to her back. “Celeste, give it up.” She looked back to Lorrie Ann. “She wants a story. Daddy and Amy always read us a story before we turn out the lights. You don’t have to.” Twisting her back to them again, she pulled the covers over her head.

“Oh. Sorry, your dad didn’t say anything about a story, and I’m kind of new to this bedtime-ritual thing.” Lorrie Ann realized this was the sort of stuff she had missed growing up. What a surprise that these two girls could teach her so much.

Celeste looked confused. “Your mom didn’t read you stories at bedtime when you were little?”

“Well, she was busy, so I just went to bed.” She didn’t think it was appropriate to tell them her mom was either passed out drunk or partying with her latest boyfriend.

She patted Celeste’s leg under the quilt. “I would love to read you a story.” Glancing around the room, she didn’t see any children’s books. “I could make up a story. I did that a lot growing up. I didn’t have any books, so I would make up my own stories.”

Celeste clapped and bounced in the bed.

Lorrie Ann laid her hands on Celeste’s shoulder. “Careful of Rachel’s leg.”

“Oh, sorry. Can you make up a story about a princess?”

Lorrie Ann tapped her finger on her lips. “I do happen to know about one princess, but she didn’t know she came from a royal family. A jealous duke wanted revenge on his brother, the king. So, he stole the king’s most precious treasure. Do you know what he took?” Lorrie Ann noticed Rachel had turned back to them.

“His golden crown?” Celeste whispered.

“Good guess.” Lorrie Ann smoothed Celeste’s hair from her face. “But it wasn’t gold or jewels. His newborn daughter slept in a basinet laced with colorful ribbons. The duke hired a villain to steal the infant and kill her. But when he went to strike her, he stopped. Her innocent face looked up at him, and his black heart melted. So, instead he took her to the woods where coyotes roamed and left her nestled in the roots of a giant oak tree.”

Celeste wiggled under the covers and pulled her stuffed animal closer.

“Hearing the soft whimpers, the mother coyote came to investigate the strange noise in her forest. She curled her body around the babe, giving her warmth through the night. Close by, an isolated cabin stood. Rumors about the old lady who lived there swirled in town.”

“Did she find the baby?” Celeste yawned.

“Maybe.” Lorrie Ann stopped the story when Celeste’s lids fluttered down. She ran her hand over the child’s wayward curls.

“More story.” The two words came out slurred as her eyes fluttered shut again.

“Next time, rug rat.” She smoothed Celeste’s hair away from her face. Looking across the big bed, she found Rachel watching her. “Night, Rachel.”

“Good night, Miss Lorrie Ann.” The soft reply gave Lorrie Ann a strange and unexpected sense of peace.

Stepping out into the living room, she checked the time. Eight forty-five. John said he’d be home before ten. She plugged her laptop in and opened her emails.

She touched base with Melissa, who told her Brent had gone into rehab and reassured her that after the holidays they would talk. It didn’t matter how much Brent apologized or if he got sober, she was not going to have that drama in her life. Lorrie Ann refused to become her mother.

She sent and replied to a long list of emails then followed up with some texts. Glancing at the time, she finally shut her laptop down. It was almost ten.

Anticipation fluttered across her nerves. Lorrie Ann looked at the front door, imagining John walking through it. Standing, she moved to the glass doors at the back of the cabin.

Her mind drifted back to the conversation she and John had been having before going into the fellowship hall.

The room became too small. She stepped out onto the deck and left the door open so she could hear the girls.

* * *

John walked into his quiet house. Lorrie Ann’s presence lingered in the air. The idea of her waiting for him to return home felt good. He immediately pushed that thought out. Carol, his wife, should be the one he wanted here. With her death he had made a conscious decision to stay out of any romantic relationship. Lorrie Ann was someone new and just making him aware of his loneliness. The girls needed all of his focus; he would remain strong in this choice to remain single.