Lone Oak Feud (Harlequin Heartwarming) (15 page)

“He loves you. He’s bonded with you, Zach. That doesn’t always come easy with a five-year-old boy.”

“Yeah, well, he loves you, too. If he was older I’d have to worry about him bothering you for a date.”

“Ah-ah,” she said playfully. “Would you be jealous?”

He wove his fingers with hers. “Of course, I would be. I have to give it to him, he knows how to pick women.”

“See? He’s learning about all kinds of things from you. Women, turkey legs. Stability. Responsibility.”

“Stop. You’re giving me too much credit.”

“That’s just it. I’m not.” She straightened, her posture signaling to him she was getting serious.

Now he was in trouble.

“You seem to have some idea that being a good role model is out of your reach.”

“I don’t know the first thing about being a role model.”

“Who does? I told you the other day, a big part of it is simply
wanting
to be good. You do and Owen knows that.”

“Linds—”

“I’m not campaigning for you to adopt him right now. You have to make that decision on your own. But whether you do or not, you’ve already had a positive impact on him. You’ve been exactly what he needed.”

He could almost believe it when she said it. One thing he did know was that she believed what she said. She wasn’t a smoke blower. For that alone, he loved her.

Oh, no.

Love
was a foreign word.

It had flowed right into his thoughts, though, and there was a reason for it. He was in love with her.

Wasn’t that convenient, considering he didn’t have a single hope of taking it anywhere? Not when her father couldn’t stand the sight of him, and she was all about devotion to her father.

Zach leaned back in the chair, rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes.

There was a reason he didn’t do love. Love thoroughly sucked.

He opened his eyes when he sensed someone coming toward them. Unbelievable. It was the woman from the carnival. The one who’d advised Lindsey to stay away from Zach and his family.

She was dressed in scrubs and wore a nametag. Ellen Seamore. Zach squeezed Lindsey’s hand, since she had her eyes shut and wasn’t aware of the woman’s approach.

“Lindsey? Is that you?”

Lindsey and Zach stood. “Mrs. Seamore. How are you?”

“I’m well. What are you doing here?”

The woman looked suspiciously at Zach.

“Zach’s nephew is under observation for mild hypothermia and frostnip. Thankfully, he’s going to be okay.”

“I see. And how is your
father?
” Dislike filtered through her words as she studiously ignored Zach.

Lindsey glanced at him. He refused to let the woman know she got to him, and plastered an amused look on his face.

“Um, he’s fine, actually. And I’d prefer if you didn’t mention you saw me at the hospital.... He’d only worry—you know.” Nervously, she looked at Zach again.

Just in case he forgot he wasn’t good enough for her, here was his reminder.

“Oh, I see.” Ellen’s tone was smug.

“We’d better go back and see if we can get into Owen’s room,” Lindsey said to Zach. She seemed like she wanted to get away from this woman, but Zach knew that was all in the name of keeping her involvement with him from her dad.

Zach turned to see if Mrs. Seamore was out of hearing range and stopped. “Lindsey, go home.”

“What?”

“You don’t need to be here. I can handle getting him back on my own.”

“I told Owen....”

“I’ll tell him you had to leave.”

“That’s all he needs...one more adult to desert him.”

That one cut to the core, even if Zach hadn’t abandoned Owen yet. After today, he might not. First things first, he had to get Owen out of the hospital.

“Come on,” Lindsey said as she took off down the hall again. She hurried into Owen’s room with Zach behind her.

“Hey, Owen. How are you doing?”

“I’m lucky.” His grin gave no hint of the day’s turmoil.

“You
are
lucky. You could’ve gotten really sick or hurt being outside for so long,” Lindsey said. “I’m glad you’re okay. I’d be really sad if anything happened to you, and so would a lot of other people.”

The boy frowned as if he didn’t believe her. Lindsey leaned over and hugged him tight. “You’re a special kid, Owen.”

“I am?”

“You’d better believe it!” She grabbed the stuffed panda bear she’d given him earlier and tucked the bear under the blankets next to Owen. “If you ever need to be reminded how special you are, just hug this guy. He knows you’re the best boy in the whole world.”

Owen smiled and pulled the bear into his arms. “Okay.”

Lindsey glanced up at Zach. She looked as if everything was right in the world. Had she any clue what she did to him every time she put her father’s precious feelings before his?

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

G
RAM
AND
O
WEN
HAD
BOTH
GONE
to sleep early after their separate ordeals. Josh was nowhere to be found, which was just as well. Zach didn’t want to lay eyes on him.

He’d made up his mind earlier, probably the minute he heard Owen was missing.

He was going to adopt Owen.

It would change everything, but he had to do it. He could no longer stand that Owen’s future was bouncing around uncertainly, waiting for a bunch of messed-up adults to give him direction, stability. It was unfair to him.

It was obvious that Josh wasn’t going to come through for his son. No matter how much Josh wanted to be in Owen’s life, he wanted his liquor more.

So Zach would take Owen back to Wichita with him soon. After he figured out what to do for Gram.

He was starting to believe he could handle the challenge, that he could do right by Owen. Lindsey had helped him see no one was perfect when it came to parenting—he’d be far from it. But he knew now that he could make a positive impact on Owen. Because he cared a whole lot.

Funny thing, he’d realized at the same time he was also good enough for Lindsey. He’d do just about anything for her and Owen as well.

Too bad it made no difference to Lindsey or her dad.

Zach went out the back door and locked it, headed for the shop. He didn’t realize someone was standing at the door until he was mere feet away.

“Miss me?” Lindsey whispered, appearing out of the shadows.

He tried to smile. She looked so good, and he had missed her. But there was no point in saying so. “Like a hangnail.” He resisted the urge to touch her. “What are you doing here?” He looked toward her dad’s house and noticed a light on.

She shrugged. “Figured it was about time for you to come out to play.”

He unlocked the door and she followed him inside. He opted for the low light of the lamp instead of the glaring overhead. “Your dad know you’re here?” he asked as he turned it on.

“Hope not,” she muttered as she turned away. “Wow, you’re almost done with this.” She walked over and stood in front of the hutch, which was starting to take shape.

Zach couldn’t muster up any interest in his project tonight, so he sat on the high bar stool between the work table and the counter.

Lindsey had sensed something was bugging Zach the second she’d seen him outside. It showed in his posture, in the slowness of his walk. She’d fostered a hope that she could cheer him up, but he was still detached, preoccupied.

After a few one-word responses to her questions about the hutch, she moved toward him, crossing her arms to keep herself from making contact.

“Something’s on your mind tonight.”

He chuckled. “You could say that.”

“What is it? Anything I can help with?”

“Don’t I wish.”

Lindsey moved to the counter near him and hoisted herself up. She leveled a stare at him and waited for him to explain himself. Of course, he didn’t. “Come on, Zach. What’s going on?”

He didn’t move, just sat there on the stool, legs outstretched, ankles crossed, arms across his chest.

“I’m adopting him.”

Lindsey wasn’t sure she’d heard right at first. But one look at his face and she knew he was serious. She hopped off the counter and closed the space between them.

“Zach! That’s wonderful.”

She threw her arms around him awkwardly, but he sat stone still. She backed off. “You’re scared.”

“Yes, I’m scared! Lindsey, I nearly got him killed today, and now I’m going to be responsible for him full-time?”

“
You
nearly got him killed? I don’t think so.” The blame belonged to Josh. One hundred percent.

Zach bolted off the stool, away from her. “What was I thinking to leave him with my brother?”

“Probably that your brother would do what he said he would,” Lindsey answered, even though he’d posed the question rhetorically.

“Why did I trust him?”

Lindsey leaned against the counter, watching Zach.

“He messes up everything. Why did I think he’d be okay with a five-year-old for several hours?”

“Because he told you he could do it?” Lindsey offered. She knew he’d wanted to believe Josh could handle it all, wanted so badly to see Josh take responsibility for his son.

“His word doesn’t mean much, I guess.”

Lindsey had trouble arguing with that. “You shouldn’t feel guilty, Zach. You made the best decision you could at the time.”

“I do feel guilty. I
am
guilty. Because of me, Owen could’ve been seriously hurt.”

She closed her eyes for a moment, clenched her fists. He was the one who’d done right by Owen. Had done so for weeks. Zach had put everything on hold for that boy, had acted more like a father than Josh ever would. And yet he stood here full of self-loathing.

“You can’t blame yourself for your brother’s weaknesses. He’s the one who messed up. Not you.”

When Zach didn’t flinch or even look at her, she grabbed his arm. “Zach, you have nothing to feel guilty about.”

Then he did look at her, so intensely she would’ve backed away had she not already been against the counter.

“Don’t talk to me about unjustified guilt.” The coldness in his voice cut her more deeply than if he’d yelled. “When you manage to forgive yourself for your mom’s accident, then you can lecture away.”

“That’s a little different. She died, Zach.” Tears sprung to her eyes and she wiped them away angrily.

“Yes, she did. And you’re going to spend the rest of your life trying to make it up to your dad because you feel like it’s your fault.”

“If I hadn’t begged her to—”

“It wasn’t your fault.
You
didn’t break the law.
You
weren’t drunk
.”

“You don’t understand.”

“You’re wrong. I do understand. I get that you feel bad. I get that you regret choosing the night my brother was three sheets to the wind to take your mom to a movie.”

“Stop.”

“It’s been thirteen years, Lindsey. You’re still living for your father. You do whatever it is that makes him happy out of some misdirected sympathy and guilt.”

“Obviously, you don’t know what it’s like to be close to a parent.” Cruel blow, she knew, but he’d pushed her way beyond any semblance of fairness.

“Maybe I don’t. But I do know you’re too scared of upsetting your dad to admit you care about me.”

Lindsey faltered as guilt over her behavior earlier at the hospital flooded her. “He has a heart condition.” Her voice was quiet, unsure.

“So you
do
care?”

He
so
wasn’t playing fair. She wasn’t in any mood to agree to a thing right now, not when he carried on about how stupid she was to be concerned about her dad. “It doesn’t matter, Zach.”

“That’s right, it doesn’t matter!” He pushed the stool so it crashed on its side. “Nothing matters because there is no future for us. You’ve never thought I’m good enough for you.”

“That’s not true, Zach—”

“It sure doesn’t matter that I love you, because all you can think about is making Daddy happy. I’m sick to death of sneaking around, sick of being treated like dirt all in the name of pleasing your old man, who hates me.”

“You love me?” She’d gotten hung up on that tidbit.

Apparently his big show of emotion was over, though.

“You said it yourself. It doesn’t matter.”

He ran his fingers through his hair. He looked as if it’d satisfy him more to knock something else over. She watched him in a stupor, still thrown by hearing the
L
word from Zach’s mouth. About her.

He fought for control, took a deep breath, closed his eyes. “I know there’s no future for us.” His volume had lowered considerably. “I’ve known it since I first laid eyes on you. We were worlds apart then, and it’s only gotten worse.”

Lindsey didn’t know what to say because it was true.

“Go home, Lindsey.”

He leaned against the counter again, one hand braced behind him. His shoulders slumped, hair a mess.

She wanted so badly to touch him, but she couldn’t. There was no way around it. Staying any longer would only make them both hurt more.

And she hurt so much already.

“I’m sorry.” Her words were barely more than a hoarse whisper.

Lindsey turned and walked away from Zach for the second time in her life.

* * *

T
HE
WIND
CHILLED
L
INDSEY
TO
THE
bone as she hurried to her car. Tears felt like they froze in the corners of her eyes. She didn’t care that she could barely see.

Once inside the Civic, she slammed the door with all her strength, then made a frustrated growling sound. She started the car and headed home.

On the way, she passed Savannah’s house. The lights were on, and Lindsey knew her night-owl sister was still up, wide awake. She could stop and talk, but...no.

She wouldn’t know what to say. Didn’t know what her problem was. Her dad? Zach? Most likely herself. If she could honestly say she didn’t care about Zach, she’d be in a whole different place right now. One that didn’t make her eyes burn or her insides knot.

She drove on past, longing for solitude and home.

Brooke was in bed already, as Lindsey had known she would be. Mostly she was relieved. There was no way she could act like nothing was wrong right now, and she sure didn’t feel like talking about it.

Fifteen minutes later, she lay in the warm nest of blankets on her bed. But comfort eluded her. She was so out of sorts that home didn’t even feel right tonight.

Blast Zach and everything he’d tried to put in her head! He’d forced her to talk more about her mom in the past week or two than she had in the thirteen years since she’d been killed. But that wasn’t even the kicker. The kicker was he’d said he loved her.

Why had he even said that? Zach wasn’t the type to throw that word around. She suspected he’d used it rarely if ever. So now, when everything between them came to a head, he put that on the table even as he said they had no future together.

Lindsey, being the sap she was, couldn’t just let it drop as she should.

In spite of everything, the pain, the frustration, the anger, Zach had elicited from her tonight, she couldn’t help imagining what it would be like to be loved by him.

She hadn’t cried herself to sleep for years, but she couldn’t stop herself tonight.