Lone Oak Feud (Harlequin Heartwarming) (11 page)

CHAPTER TWELVE

A
S
SOON
AS
O
WEN
AND
Gram were in bed and Josh had disappeared for the night yet again, Zach grabbed a Coke from the fridge and headed out to the shop. He hadn’t had much time since he’d been home, but tonight he was drawn there, troubled, like so many nights when he was younger.

There was a sharp bite to the air but he’d left his coat inside. The sky was moonless, so it was a struggle to find the keyhole.

At last, the door opened into the chilly room. Without hitting the light switch, he crossed to the far side. The side facing the Salinger house.

The lights on their lower level were on, but he didn’t see anyone on the back porch. Yet.

He needed to see Lindsey tonight. Grandma’s admission this afternoon had thrown him. Sure, he’d finally realized something might be wrong with her but to have her lay it all out for him.... She was scared. That was something Zach hadn’t witnessed before, and it scared him, too.

Zach raised the blinds and turned on the light. He hoped she’d see him and drop by, even though he had no reason to think she would. It’d been years since she’d come here.

Zach paced, turned the heat up, thought about lighting a fire. He found himself at the window again, squinting into the darkness.

This was stupid. He’d never
needed
to talk to Lindsey before. There was no reason to start now. Lots of reasons not to.

He went to the row of cabinets that had once served as the kitchen of the in-laws quarters. Rummaging through one of the drawers, he found a stack of old notebooks, some with sketches of projects. He pulled out a blank one and forced himself to settle on the couch against the opposite wall, even though settling went against every fiber of his being tonight.

After ten minutes of sketching a design he hadn’t realized he wanted to sketch, he popped up off the couch and turned the light out. Strode to the window again and looked for a sign of life on the Salinger porch.

She’d obviously outgrown her spying habit, just when he needed her.

Frustrated, Zach headed out the door.

As he neared the Salinger back porch, he glanced at his watch in the light from the window. It was after nine. Her old man would probably be in bed by now.

Zach tapped lightly on the back door. He didn’t even know what he wanted to say to Lindsey. He just knew she might make him feel better. He didn’t stop to think how dangerous that was.

When the door opened, it was Mr. Salinger standing there, scowling at him. He was supposed to be in bed.

“Is Lindsey here?”

“It’s too late for visitors.”

The door quietly closed in Zach’s face. He heard the click of the deadbolt.

It might be late but that wasn’t the reason he wasn’t allowed to talk to Lindsey. It shouldn’t be any of the old man’s business. She was twenty-eight years old, for goodness sake.

His instinct was to knock again, but he knew it’d get him nowhere.

Zach left, letting the screen door of the porch slam shut. He returned to the shop and pulled out a small wall shelf he’d made years ago but never finished. At the time, he hadn’t been happy with his workmanship, but now he didn’t care. He grabbed a piece of sandpaper and went to work on it—a lot harder than necessary.

Half an hour later, he’d sanded the shelf down to nearly nothing and his arm ached. He glanced out at Lindsey’s again and saw a light on upstairs. He was simultaneously struck by a memory and an idea.

Was he that desperate? No. Maybe. But it’d be satisfying on several different levels. Somewhere on the list was defying old man Salinger.

Just like he’d done years and years ago, he went into the garage. He cringed when he saw the gaping Buick-sized hole in the back, before grabbing a thick rope.

Minutes later, he was perched on a branch of the tree closest to Lindsey’s bedroom. He took a minute to catch his breath and check out the neighborhood from this vantage point. What was he doing up in a tree? For a woman. No, it wasn’t for her, it was for him.

That was only slightly more acceptable.

He crept out on the limb as he and Lindsey had done so many years ago, hoping the branch would hold his weight now. It started to bow and he leaped to the roof of the porch with a loud thud. He’d kissed his sanity goodbye.

Carefully, he made his way to her window. The roof creaked under his weight. The shade was drawn so he couldn’t be sure Lindsey was the one inside. Might as well find out.

Zach tapped his knuckle on the glass and waited. He strained to hear anything inside. The light went off and his heart pounded. What was he thinking?

The shade moved, just a crack, and he thought he saw Lindsey peering out at him. Abruptly, the shade went up, startling him. She opened the window a crack.

“What are you doing?” she whispered, kneeling.

He smiled. Couldn’t help it. He hadn’t been bad for a long time. It felt good.

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“Right now?”

“Earlier, actually, but your dad wouldn’t let me.”

Lindsey eased the window up. “It’s freezing. Get in here.”

Gladly. He climbed in and shut the window behind him as softly as he could. If old man Salinger didn’t like him at the back door, he’d hate to see what he’d do with Zach in Lindsey’s bedroom.

A chill ran down his spine and he realized exactly how cold it was outside. But looking closely at Lindsey from the light of her laptop made his pulse double.

She wore rose-colored silky pajamas—a thin-strapped tank over baggy pants. Her long hair was damp and hung down over her shoulders. He longed to brush it back so he could see her face better. So he could touch her.

“You came by earlier?”

“Got the door shut in my face.”

“I’m sorry. I must’ve been in the shower.”

He shrugged. She wasn’t responsible for her old man’s actions. “Aren’t you cold?”

“I wasn’t until I had to open my window.” She went to the closet and stretched up to reach the top shelf. She pulled a sweatshirt down and over her head, lifting her hair out. Being alone with her in such a private place, her personal space, made Zach’s blood pound so hard he could feel it.

He looked around the room. It was small with a single bed in one corner, a dresser and a desk on the opposite wall. The bed was unmade, the covers bunched halfway down. The pink-and-yellow floral comforter matched the curtains. The room was awash in femininity, bordering on little girlishness.

A stack of file folders sat near the computer on her desk, the chair askew. “You were working?”

“The paperwork never ends. I have reports to do on two new cases, plus updates on several others.” She took a step toward him. “Are you going to tell me why you’re here?”

He closed the rest of the distance between them, staring at her unadorned face, her lips. She moistened them with her tongue as if knowing his thoughts were on her mouth.

“I messed up the other night.”

Without more of an explanation, without thinking, really, he bent to kiss her.

She was startled at first, but he didn’t back off. Deepened the kiss. Lindsey wound her hands around his waist and kissed him back.

She tasted amazing, all minty and feminine. He wanted to keep kissing her, but she pulled away from him abruptly.

“Zach. You can’t do that.” She smiled though, and there was the dimple.

He gave into the urge to brush his thumb over it, his other hand still on her side.

“Why can’t I?”

“You just...can’t.” She stepped away from him and their contact was broken. “That’s not really why you risked your neck to climb up here, is it?”

He laughed quietly. “Maybe not, but it’d be well worth the risk.”

Her grin became self-conscious, and she sat on the edge of her bed. He sat next to her.

“Seriously, Zach, what’s going on?”

He forced his thoughts to his grandma and the buzz from kissing her weakened. “You were right about Gram.”

A week ago it would’ve killed him to say that to her but now it was what he needed to do. He wanted her help. Needed her on his side.

“What happened?”

“She admitted something’s wrong.” He told her about the spells and the forgetfulness. “She’s scared to death, Linds.”

Lindsey’s chest tightened just thinking of what he and his grandma had been through. Worse yet, what they still had to face.

“She’s lucky to have you,” she said, unable to keep from touching his hand.

“What can I do? You saw how I acted yesterday. I don’t know why it gets to me like that.”

“She’s like a mother to you.”

He nodded. “Closest thing I’ve had to one.”

“Did you make an appointment with a neurologist?”

“Dr. Fletcher referred us to one in Topeka. Figured the shorter drive would be better for her.”

“Good.”

They were both silent for a few minutes, thinking about his grandma’s future. “Maybe it’s something simple, like a deficiency in a specific nutrient or something,” she said.

“Yeah. Maybe.” He shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

“If it turns out to be the worst, we’ll get you guys some help. There are support groups, in-home nurses, all kinds of options.”

“I’d like to hear more about it if and when the time comes.”

She nodded.

He closed his fingers around her hand and smiled. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know. Understanding, I guess. It’s been nasty over there. Josh is in denial. Gram is paralyzed with fear. Owen doesn’t know what’s going on but he senses something’s up. I’m so unqualified to handle all of that....”

“No, you aren’t. You’re handling it.” She squeezed his hand. “I cannot believe you snuck up here.” She smiled, thinking how surreal it was to be sitting on her old bed in her dad’s house, holding Zach’s hand. How against the rules.

Before she could think further, he kissed her again. Ran his fingers through her hair, to the back of her neck and drew her closer to him.

She was fully aware she was being stupid. She’d kissed him two other times ever and he’d turned her away twice. Glutton for punishment.

But Zach was hard to resist. The kiss was nice. She wasn’t about to stop it now. She knew where she stood with him and didn’t expect this to last for longer than it took him to realize he’d done exactly what he didn’t mean to do. Carpe diem, baby.

Only he didn’t stop. He was gentle yet fervent. He explored her mouth, her neck, the skin right above the neckline of her boxy sweatshirt with his lips. Her insides melted and she ran her hands over his shoulders. She wanted to kiss him forever.

That startled her into caution. “Aren’t you supposed to pull back right about now and run off?”

He paused, looked into her eyes. “Huh?”

“Seems to be your way. Any second now you’ll realize...something...and remember this isn’t supposed to happen.
We’re
not supposed to happen.”

Zach kept his arms around her, still apparently not committed to stopping. “Owen was in the truck waiting the other night.”

“Yeah. But Owen wasn’t born twelve years ago. You know, round one.”

“Out back,” he said, as if there was any uncertainty which incident she could be referring to.

Lindsey didn’t bother to answer.

Zach looked suddenly serious. “What are you saying, exactly?”

“We kiss, you turn me away. What I don’t get is why you keep allowing it to start when you have no interest.”

“No interest?” He laughed. “You really think that’s what happened back then? I had no interest?”

“Seemed like it.” She couldn’t say more—even her cheeks heated at the memory. Closing her eyes, she tried to escape from that raw feeling of rejection that had seared her then and continued to affect her long afterward.

“Making you leave years ago was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.” A low masculine noise came from his throat, a cross between a groan and a growl. “No interest.” He mumbled it to himself like it was a bad joke, shaking his head.

“In my experience, interest usually comes out differently from ‘you have to leave.’”

“You had to leave because if you had stayed for another thirty seconds, I would’ve had a real problem backing off.”

“I thought I made it clear I didn’t want you to back off.” As ill-advised as it had been, it was true. It hadn’t been planned, but she’d felt reckless and carried away.

“Us being together would’ve been a mistake.”

“Obviously.” She pulled back, and he let his hands fall to his sides.

“I wanted nothing more than to be with you that night. To have you come to the shop and practically throw yourself at me...that’s what guys dream of.”

“I didn’t throw myself—”

“You know what I mean. You initiated it.”

That was true enough, even if she was ashamed of it now. She waited for him to continue, but he was silent. Frustratingly so. “It was such a dream you couldn’t handle it, huh?”

“What could I give you, Lindsey? I was eighteen years old with a bad reputation and no future. What good could possibly have come from us being together that night?”

She had no answer. At the time it’d seemed like stopping was a lot worse than the alternative.

“I wasn’t asking for anything.”

“But you deserved more, anyway.” He sat up next to her. “Don’t kid yourself. If word had gotten out—and no, it wouldn’t have been from me—your golden reputation would’ve been shot.”

She stared ahead of her, not seeing anything. Yes, being with Zach would’ve caused a scandal if anyone had found out. But she hadn’t cared at the time.

“Let me get this straight,” she said. “You made me leave for my own good.” She didn’t buy it. As he’d said, he’d been an eighteen-year-old male.

“Forget it. Believe what you want.” He stood.

She didn’t want him to leave.

Maybe he wasn’t lying to her. If he was, wouldn’t he keep arguing? But she’d believed for so many years...

“So, if you were looking out for me back then, what about now?” she asked.

“Now you can stick up for yourself. You can make your own decisions.”

Though there was a hint of condescension in the whole idea that she couldn’t do either back then, she couldn’t help but be touched. She’d always sensed he was different. Better than people thought.