Logan's Redemption (24 page)

She tensed, fighting her need for him. He’d walked out on her once and left her to raise a child alone. Could she forgive him? Could he forgive himself?

“I want to be angry with you,” he rasped. “But when I look at you...Do you have any idea of what you do to me?” 

Feminine power surged through her. “Tell me.”  

He drew a ragged breath. “I’ll show you.” He took her hands and kissed each palm, running his tongue over her sensitized skin.   

She trembled and lifted her face for his kiss. Tonight she would pretend he still loved her. Tonight would belong to them.

Logan took her lips in a crushing kiss. He tasted of pizza and beer and male. She met his hunger and passion with an answering wildness. The demands of his lips peeled away the years. They were young and in love again. But she didn’t want the past. She wanted Logan now.    

With a small groan, she molded her body against his and opened her mouth, giving herself to him, body and soul. Twining her arms around his neck, she reveled in Logan’s heat. His hard arousal pressed against her. Moaning, he softened his kiss and tangled his hands in her hair. Heat raced in her veins and pooled in her most private parts. She shuddered with her need for him.

“Doriana,” he whispered against her lips. He trailed searing kisses along her neck.

She drew away to cup his beautiful face between her hands and skim fingers over his high cheekbones, remembering the feel of him, the wildness and the tenderness. She looked deeply into his passion-filled eyes, the eyes of the man she’d never stopped loving.

“Logan,” she whispered.

Heavy footsteps running down the stairs cut through the sensual fog of her brain. Doriana froze. “Josh,” she said, pushing away from Logan.

Josh’s footsteps grew closer. Logan put her gently aside and moved quickly to stare out the kitchen window, his back to the doorway. Doriana knew he needed time to compose himself.

She ran a shaky hand over her hair, mussed from Logan’s touch.

When Josh entered the room he gave her a puzzled stare, then switched his gaze to Logan by the window. “What’s wrong?”

Tension draped the room. Doriana smoothed her hands down the sides of her jeans, trying for calmness. “We’re just cleaning the kitchen,” she said, hoping Josh didn’t notice the false brightness of her voice.

“Your mother and I were discussing Christmas trees,” Logan said, half turning from the window.

“Christmas trees?”  Doriana choked the word out. Logan gave her a warning look.

She nodded. “Yes, Christmas trees.”

“What about Christmas trees?” Josh asked. The sullen look was back on his face.

“It’s ten days until Christmas,” Logan said with a smile. “We need to get a tree.”

Josh’s expression hardened. “We have a tree. In the attic.”

“A fake tree?” Logan said. “Nothing fake for this family. We get a real tree this year.”

Doriana stared at Logan. Family? Her pulse raced.

She slid a glance at Josh. His attention was on Logan. Defiance hardened the planes of his face again.

“We don’t need a real tree.” Josh looked at Doriana with narrowed eyes. “He’s never been here for Christmas before. Why should we listen to him?”

“Josh!” Doriana said.

“Josh, that’s enough,” Logan said in a quiet voice. He moved toward Josh and put a hand on the teen’s shoulder. “You and I will finish cleaning the kitchen while your mother gets herself ready to go tree shopping.”

The two men stared at each other like gunslingers facing off.

Josh’s shoulders sagged and he shrugged away from Logan. Doriana caught Josh’s gaze. Fear and uncertainty had replaced the defiance. She and Josh had been alone for so long. Now that Logan was back in their lives, what would happen to them, to their relationship?

She gave Josh a quick hug. “It will be okay. Everything will be okay. A real tree will be nice.”

Doriana glanced at Logan. He watched her and Josh with hunger in his eyes. They were just shopping for a Christmas tree but the yearning in Logan’s eyes told her he wanted more. Happiness tugged at her heart, and smiling, she left the room.      

~~~~

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Doriana hugged herself against the cold and inhaled the fresh, pungent scent of pine. The large Christmas tree lot was filled with clusters of people engaged in spirited discussions on the merits of various trees. Maybe she and Josh had missed out on something all these years.

She slid a glance at Logan standing next to her. Maybe she and Josh missed out on much more than Christmas trees. The cold air rustling through the pine needles seemed to whisper to her of all the lonely Christmases. She shivered.   

“Cold?” Logan asked. He put an arm around her shoulders and drew her against him. His heat warmed her through the thickness of her coat.

Josh scowled at them. He wasn’t used to seeing another man touch his mother like this. She hadn’t dated much since he was born, and she was always careful to shield him from her private life.

She met Josh’s gaze but didn’t move from Logan’s embrace. Logan might walk out of their lives soon, but for a while she’d indulge in the fantasy that they were a real family. Maybe it wasn’t a fantasy. Like the hundreds of trees scattered throughout the large lot, too many thoughts crowded her mind. She’d think about it later.

“Where do we begin?” she asked, looking up a Logan. “It’s easier to put the same fake tree up every year.”

Logan’s laugh rang out in the crystal air. Several people smiled at them. Doriana smiled back. Being with Logan made her feel free and happy. He’d always done that to her.  

“A fake tree’s no fun,” he said. “You miss spending time with all these fine people.” He waved a hand to include the other customers. “You can’t get this pine scent with a fake.” He sniffed the air.

Doriana laughed. “A fake doesn’t scatter pine needles all over my rug or coat our hands with sap.”

“Spoilsport,” Logan said with a teasing grin.

To her surprise, Josh, standing near Logan, laughed. Despite his attempts to look surly, Josh’s eyes had lit with pleasure when they’d arrived at the huge lot filled with trees of all sizes. Josh watched her and Logan now with a mix of confusion and hope on his face.

Doriana separated herself from Logan. She didn’t want to give Josh false hope. She didn’t know how Logan felt about her or if he was capable of staying in one place for long.

Logan grabbed her hand. “Let’s pick out a tree,” he said, pulling her after him. “There are some Douglas firs over there. They have the best aroma of all the trees.” He looked back at Josh. “Come on.” The teen loped after them.   

A frostbitten eternity later they still hadn’t selected a tree. Cold seeped into every part of Doriana’s body. She felt too cold to even shiver. But she knew the difference between a Douglas fir, a Fraser fir and a Scotch pine. And her head hurt.

“Notice this Balsam fir has a silvery cast,” Logan said. An enraptured Josh hung on his every word.

“How do you know so much about trees?”  Doriana couldn’t quite hide the impatience in her voice.

Logan gave her a smug look. “I worked selling Christmas trees a couple of years when I was in high school.”

“That explains it,” she said. “Please let’s pick a tree. I’ve lost all feeling in my legs.” She stamped her feet, trying to get her blood moving. Her breath spiraled into the night air, wispy testimony to the temperature.

“Mom, it’s not that cold,” Josh said. Both males stared indulgently at her. She glared at them, but hope soared in her heart. Josh and Logan had bonded in their quest for the perfect tree. Maybe Logan would stay, for Josh. But she wanted him to stay for her too.

“How about this one?” she said, pointing to a small, full Scotch pine.      

“Too common.” Logan dismissed her choice with a wave of his hand. “We need something tall and majestic. Let’s have another look at those Douglas firs.”

“Yeah,” Josh said. “They’re cool.”

Doriana groaned and Logan laughed. His eyes crinkled at the corners. He looked so gloriously masculine that she could listen to his mind-numbing tree lectures all night. A blast of cold air made her shiver. Maybe not
all
night.

She scanned Logan’s muscular body. Tall and majestic he’d said. She’d take tall and majestic any time.  

“Why don’t you go back to the car and warm up, Dorie?” Logan said. “Josh and I will find the right tree.”

She wanted to tell him that looking at him warmed her, but she couldn’t say that, not here, not with Josh watching them. “I’ll tough it out.”

“Good.” Logan rubbed his gloved hands together. “We need a special tree for a special Christmas.”

Doriana stared at him. A special Christmas?

A mask slipped over Logan’s features, as if he’d revealed too much. And she wondered again where he’d learned to cover his feelings like that.

“There it is,” Josh said, pointing to a full and very tall Douglas.

“Good choice,” Logan said. He and Josh headed for the huge tree that stood apart from the others on the lot. Doriana hurried after them.

“That’s too big,” she said, craning her neck to see to the top of the fir. The lights surrounding the lot reflected on the tree’s bluish-green needles.

“A Christmas tree can never be too big,” Logan said.

“Right,” Josh said.

Doriana rolled her eyes.

In no time they’d bartered the price with the lot’s owner, had the tree bound with netting and were dragging it behind them to the Jeep. Josh and Logan wore self-satisfied grins.   

Despite feeling like a five-foot-two-inch Popsicle and smelling like pine cleaner, Doriana felt younger and happier than she had in years.

They bounced along in Logan’s Jeep. He concentrated on driving, his hands gripping the wheel. The huge tree strapped to the roof slowed him down. Doriana studied his strong, chiseled profile. She squelched the urge to laugh out loud from sheer joy. She’d argued good-naturedly with both males over their choice of tree until they won her over. Or maybe she was so cold she would have agreed to anything.

Tonight Josh had looked more animated than he had in a very long time. What would life have been like had Logan not left all those years ago? She shoved the thought aside. It did no good to dwell on the “what-ifs.” But she couldn’t stop another thought from edging into her mind. Logan didn’t trust her enough to tell her where he’d been and why he’d left.   

Logan turned on the radio, distracting her from her gloomy meanderings. Christmas tunes filled the car. For the first time in years the songs didn’t overwhelm her with sadness.

As if sensing her stare, Logan glanced at her. His smile heated her to her frozen toes. She settled into her seat. She would ignore her worries and enjoy this holiday season. If Logan left again, she would have these memories. But memories couldn’t hug her, or kiss her, or share her bed. She wanted more than remembrances of Logan. She wanted Logan.   

“How will we get this thing in the house?” Doriana asked when they pulled into her driveway. She jumped out of the Jeep and stared up at her townhouse, then back at the too-large tree Logan and Josh insisted they buy.

“Don’t you worry your pretty head about that,” Logan said, leaving the Jeep to stand beside her. He glanced at Josh. “We men will take care of getting this baby into the house. Your job, Doriana, is to make us some hot chocolate. Right, Josh?”

“Right,” Josh said.

Doriana shot both males a look through narrowed eyes. “Do I detect some sexism here?”

“Mom, we’re just having fun with you, but you do make great hot chocolate.” Josh’s grin, so like Logan’s, and the happiness in his voice, made her heart do a crazy little dance.

“Flattery will get you a good cup of hot chocolate,” she said laughing.

* * * *

T
he tree up at last, the three of them sipped hot chocolate in the living room and stared up at the huge fir that rose to the ceiling. Majestic it was. Doriana glanced at the pile of cut branches lying on the floor. She’d take care of them tomorrow.

“You were right, Logan,” she said. “Once the lights and decorations are on, it will look magnificent.”

“Do I know trees, or do I know trees,” Logan said, grinning.

Josh, next to her on the sofa, lifted his nose and sniffed.  “Smells great.”

“I told you the Douglas fir has the best aroma of all the Christmas trees,” Logan said.

Doriana groaned. “Lecture number one, repeated in lecture number twenty-five.”

Logan, relaxing in the wingback chair next to the fireplace, faked a wounded look. Doriana stared at his long, slender fingers wrapped around his mug of chocolate. Memories of the sensual magic his hands worked on her body heated her more than the sweet, hot drink.

She tightened her grip on her mug. She really had to get a handle on her wayward thoughts. Her son sat next to her, for God’s sake. And they were staring at a tree.