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I tried living with my grandparents for a short while. Part of me felt like they blamed me for my mother’s demise. I heard my grandfather say that no one should be a mother in their teens and that pushed her over the edge. All I could think of was that she was never a mother.

After my dad’s mom passed away, my dad pleaded with me to come home. He wanted me to come home to concentrate on school, since I had missed so much already. After much persuasion, I accepted.

I owe my dad an apology. He doesn’t deserve my attitude problem. I could have called him at any point while I was in Florida to come home. I didn’t.

Directly looking at my dad, I can’t help but think how hard it was for him to have a kid at fifteen. I must have put a damper on his love life. But there is hope for him still. At thirty-six, he’s still a handsome guy. His dark, cropped hair falls stylishly forward, complimenting his big, sad, brown eyes. Tribal tattoos peek out from under his fitted, white t-shirt.

I rarely bring friends home from school because of how my dad looks. The last time I brought a study partner home, she tried flirting with my dad the entire time. He’s a good-looking man, but he’s still is my dad.

“I’m sorry, Dad.” I really mean it.

“Reece’s Pieces, I know you’ve been through some serious shit. You’re free from that life now. Have some fun tonight. C’mon, make your old man feel better.” My big, tough daddy has a few tears in his eyes.

Goddammit. It’s hard to see him live with the guilt of what happened. “Fine. I’ll go.”

“Yes!” My dad is too damn excited.

I laugh at his response and joke, “Do you want me out of the house so you can bring a 'hottie' home?”

He playfully knocks his fist across my chin softly. “I have a date with the punching bag in the basement, kiddo.”

My dad belongs to a recreational men’s boxing team. He constantly trains when he is not working his job in construction.

I get up from my chair to hug my dad. He wraps his arms around me. “I love you, Dad. You need a life too. You should go out too.”

My dad gives me a side smirk. “I have a fight coming up soon. I don’t need a female screwing with my mojo.”

“I worry about your mojo.”

“My mojo is just fine. Go out and get your mojo on. I’ll tell Maria to pick you up in a little bit.”

My dad leaves my room and I’m left with my own thoughts. God, I feel like I’m eighty years old. What twenty-one-year-old wants to stay in on a Friday night?

I’m dreading just getting ready to go out. Hell, maybe if I act like I feel, Maria will never ask me to go out again.

* * *

Maria and I look like sisters. It makes sense. My dad and Maria’s dad are brothers. We are definitely the girl versions of both of them. We could be twins. Dallas’s party is overloaded with guys who are obsessed with twin fetishes. It’s getting a little old. If they were to ask because they really wanted to know, I’d be perfectly fine with the question.

Maria doesn’t seem as annoyed as I am. “When Shorty gets here, all the attention will stop.”

“Really? Why is that?”

“Shorty is huge…kind of like your dad. No one fucks with him.” I ask Maria why Shorty is so late. “He had to close up his shop and pick up his friend.”

“You never mentioned a friend.” Shit. I hope this wasn’t a set-up.

“Relax, Reece. Caydon has a girlfriend that he pines over constantly. They are going through a rough patch. Shorty wants to get him out to have a good time and take his mind off of things.”

The muscles in my body loosen. The last thing I need is for my cousin to play matchmaker. Besides, I’m usually really uncomfortable around guys. I don’t have a healthy history with men. My first kiss was with a guy my mom brought home from a club. I was fifteen years old. He was older than me by eight years and about seven years younger than my mom. Of course, the guy wanted a piece of my mom. When she passed out on him, he found me watching television in the living room.

At first, I wanted to kick him out like I did most of the guys she brought home. After hanging out with him, I began to find him attractive. He was a pre-med student in Florida for Spring Break. To my surprise, I was flirting with him. Since he came to my mom’s apartment looking to score, he jumped on the opportunity.

After making out on the couch for a bit, he wanted to do more. I let him do things to me that I never even thought I wanted to do. I let him finger me. And he coached me on how to jerk him off. The experience left me uneasy. Two hours later, he was gone and I was alone.

I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. My mom didn’t wake up until the next day and didn’t remember that she brought someone home. My fifteen year-old brain rummaged through her purse to see if she had his number. Stupid me. I didn’t realize until about a year later that I meant absolutely nothing to a spring breaker.

When I was seventeen, I met a boy on the beach who was visiting his grandparents for the summer. Whenever I wasn’t taking care of my mom or she was out, we would hang out together.

Austin was a safe guy. He was respectful, nice, and gentle. I liked him because he was everything my life was not. At that time, my life was chaotic. Austin offered me innocence and comfort. Austin gave me the opportunity to escape for a while. With Austin, I never had to worry about being taken advantage of.

That summer, we explored our bodies together out of sheer curiosity. At the end of the summer, we had plans to take each other’s virginity. Before Austin had the chance to enter me, his grandmother found us. Austin was forbidden to see me after that. I should have been sad about that. I wasn’t. I didn’t love Austin. I was going to do it just to fill a void.

Soon after Austin, I realized having a boyfriend wasn’t for me. There are too many complications when it comes to love and sex. For example, my very being is a product of young love. From what my dad tells me, he loved my mother. Of course, now, he recognizes his feelings were infatuation. But he swears, although he was fifteen years old, he would have done everything the exact same way. I think he’s crazy.

At twenty-one, I can’t imagine being in love, let alone having a child. My dad says I can’t see the good in taking care of someone because I mothered my mom when she was supposed to be there for me. My dad swears, when the time is right, that I will fall in love. And when I do fall in love, I will want to have a family with that person. Again, my dad is seriously cuckoo.

Maria continues giving me the background on Caydon. From what I understand, Caydon has been dating the same girl since he was in high school. Apparently, his girlfriend is very smart and is trying to get into law school. Since she’s been away, their relationship has seen some stress.

Without knowing Caydon or Hannah, it doesn’t seem to be a big deal to me. Hannah is away at school focusing on her future. Caydon is here doing what he loves to do. In my opinion, there isn’t a problem.

“Hey, beautiful.” I feel a pair of strong hands on my waist feeling me from behind. If I had a dollar for every guy that has hit on me tonight, I’d easily leave with a hundred bucks. This is different. The fucker put his hands on me.

I take the fingers that are stretched on each side of my waist and twist them. I hear a squeal of pain. “Fuck! What the hell, Maria?”

Shit. I immediately turn around, giving whoever manhandled me a quick view. Clearly, he was looking for my cousin. “Fuck.” The large man is still clutching the fingers I wounded. “You must be Reece. Sorry, I thought you were my girl.”

Dammit. “Shorty? I’m so sorry. I thought you were one of the guys that won’t leave me alone.”

“Who won’t leave you alone?” Shorty turns his ‘guard dog’ switch on.

“I can take care of myself.” I’m confident with my defense skills. My dad has taught me well.

Shorty laughs. “I can see that. You’re dad is the fighter, right?”

Letting my guard down, I giggle. “Yeah.”

“Remind me never to fuck with you.”

“She’s not the one you need to worry about.” Maria wraps her arms around her man. Shorty immediately turns to putty and the assault is easily forgotten.

Behind Shorty, I see him. I can’t help but stare. He’s beautiful. His ink black hair falls toward his forehead complimenting his honey-colored, brown eyes. The black stubble outlines his square jawline. His pouty, cherry colored lips frown at me. I notice a sleeve of tattoos peeking out from his black t-shirt.

I feel like I’ve been sprinkled with fairy dust. My thoughts are no longer my own. The reaction my body is having is so foreign to me. My tongue is dancing in my mouth, wanting to connect with his. I feel warm all over. I want to touch him.

Our eyes meet and linger on each other for a second. Darkness fills his eyes and the connection is lost. My ears don’t seem to work because I faintly hear Maria introduce me to this god in front of me. Apparently, I’ve lost all of my speaking skills too because I can’t get any of my words out.

Maria taps my arm to get my attention. “Reece, you okay? I want you to meet Caydon.”

Caydon.

* * *

Reece
. Her name is Reece. She looks like an angel but we all know that what is disguised as good is truly evil. And… apparently mute. The fact that she fails to acknowledge me pisses me off. In fact, her whole presence angers me. I can’t pinpoint why, but I can feel the rage rising in my body.

I know the type. I assume I’m not worth talking to. My appearance must overwhelm her. Well, fuck her.

“Are you fucking mute?” I can’t help myself. Hannah put me in a foul mood. I’m hateful toward any hot piece of ass. Although, this yummy goddess doesn’t have the typical ‘fuck me’ look, I still take my wrath out on her. It also doesn’t help that I had a few shots of Crown Royal before I got here.

“Caydon, stop it,” Maria defends her cousin.

I give Maria a cocky smile. “What? You introduced us, like, ten minutes ago.” I’m exaggerating. “She still hasn’t fucking answered. What’s the matter, sweetheart, never seen a guy with tats all over him?” I get extremely close to her. Reece doesn’t move.

My mouth is less than an inch from her ear. I know she can feel my breath against the skin of her neck. I feel her shiver. I let the whiskey speak for me. “Do you like what you see?”

There’s a huge hand on my neck pulling me back. “I’m going to get this fucker a drink. Sorry, Reece.”

I’m led away from Reece and her cousin. There is a little resistance on my end, but not too much. I throw my head over my shoulder and give a smug grin to Reece as I walk away. The girl is still standing with her mouth hanging open.
Snob.

I guess I should feel bad. Reece isn’t the cause of my girl issues. Hannah is. But she isn’t here to take my abuse. Reece will do. A girl like Reece will use her beauty to wreck guys like me.

Why the fuck should I care anyway? I doubt I will see Reece again. But it’s either my dick or the whiskey telling me I want to.

I’ve never cheated on Hannah. I love the girl. At least, I think I love her. The thought of fucking another girl always repulsed me…until I saw Reece. My cock became instantly hard once I laid eyes on her. I honestly think my sex drought is getting to me.

I’m fantasizing about Reece bobbing up and down on my lap when Shorty smacks me on the back of my head.

“What the fuck?” I yelp.

“Don’t ‘what the fuck’ me. I know you got Hannah on the brain but Reece is Maria’s family. Have a little respect, asshole.” Shorty hands me a beer and pops the cap off the top of his.

He’s right. I shouldn’t have taken my frustration with Hannah out on Reece. On the other hand, I saw the way Reece looked at me. She wants me. Most girls do. They want to fuck me. I’m just not good enough for Mommy and Daddy. Reece is no different than Hannah.

“Sorry, man. I’ll behave myself,” I snicker.

“You will…or I will kick your mother fucking ass.”

I don’t doubt that he will. I make a mental note to, at least, try. Then, Hannah’s fucking image pops in my head and my blood pressure rises. “I’m good now. Grab another beer, it takes the edge off.”

Shorty lets out a sigh. “Man, if Hannah’s best brings out the worst in you, why the fuck are you still with her?”

I don’t know. The thought of letting go of Hannah is terrifying. I think I feel that way because we fought so hard to be together. If we split up, her dad wins. I’m not good enough for Hannah, which means…I’m not good…period. How do I admit that aloud? Instead, I safely answer, “I love her.”

“Keep telling yourself that, dude.”

“I don’t want to talk about Hannah. Let’s get fucking wasted.” I’m sick and tired of talking about Hannah.

“That’s the smartest fucking thing you have said all night.”

Maria strolls up behind Shorty wrapping her arms around his waist. She peeks at me from behind Shorty’s massive body. “Are you done being an asshole?”

I like Maria. She looks like butter would melt in her mouth but she’s a hardcore chick. A sly grin spreads across my face. “For now.”

Maria steps in front of Shorty and before I can protect my body she punches me in the arm. “Ouch!” I rub my arm. “Shorty, are you going to let your girl abuse me like that?”

Shorty takes a swig of his beer and without hesitation, he answers, “Yeah.”

I notice Reece is nowhere to be seen. Her absence worries me. For starters, I don’t want her to leave just because I was an asshole. Secondly, the dudes at this party pounce on girls like Reece. “Where did Reece go?”

“She’s with Nash. He’s showing her his motorcycle.”

Fucking Nash.

Of course, Reece would hook up with the biggest douchebag at this party. The dude loves to impress the ladies with the gifts his mommy and daddy buy him. At one time, Hannah was all over that dickhead and his money before I came into her life. Every now and then, Hannah still flirts with him. This incident with Reece reminds me of why I hate the asshole so much.

“Yeah, I bet he’s showing her something, but it’s not his bike.”

“Why do you care, Caydon?” Maria has her hands on her hips. She’s still pissed.