Lizzie's Secret (28 page)

‘Can't you just write care of the Merchant Navy Portsmouth?' Lizzie asked. ‘It might get to him in time… if it's important?'

‘No, not yet – but I'm worried about him, Lizzie. I know several ships have been torpedoed.'

‘He'll contact you as soon as he can, Beth.'

‘He promised to let me know when he got back…'

‘I am sure he will, love.'

Beth nodded and sighed. ‘It's just that he's been away for weeks, but I suppose I just have to be patient, as we all do…'

‘It isn't easy, I know.' Lizzie put her coat on. ‘Let's go back to mine for a cup of tea. I'll lend you something to wear, and then we can go to the club together.'

‘I like some of the new hats in the showroom, Lizzie. They're very different, aren't they?'

‘Yes,' Lizzie said. ‘I told you Uncle Bertie had put me in charge of production as far as the ladies' hats are concerned?'

‘Yes, it's made more work for you, hasn't it?'

‘Yes, but I design in the evenings when I'm not at the club. It means I'm busy with trimming but I'd rather have something to do than sit and twiddle my thumbs.'

‘How is the bespoke business doing?'

‘It must be doing all right, because Uncle Bertie would soon let me know if things weren't right.'

Beth cast an eye over her slim figure. ‘You haven't fallen for a baby yet, have you?'

‘No, though I thought I might after that holiday we had together. It's early days yet and I'm glad really. Having a baby while there's a war on and my husband is away – it's not ideal…'

‘No, especially when you have a business to run…' Beth hesitated, then, ‘It must be difficult living here alone, Lizzie?'

‘I'm used to it now, though as I said, I do feel lonely at night sometimes – but even when I lived with Aunt Jane it was never like having a family. You must feel it living in Cambridge after having your family round you. I know Mary is married now, but I dare say she and Dotty still pop round sometimes and your brother and his wife?'

‘Oh, Dotty is always there now she's getting near her time. She kept moaning when she wasn't pregnant, but now she's always got a bad back or swollen ankles or something.'

‘I suppose having a baby is like that,' Lizzie said. ‘Shall we go now? We can get some fish and chips for supper on the way home if you like.'

‘Mum will have a meal ready. She's always got enough to feed an army, or so Dad says – though it isn't going to be as easy once the rationing really gets underway. The prices food was getting to was awful but the government have brought in regulations now so the profiteers can't make fortunes out of us.'

‘Don't you believe it,' Lizzie said. ‘If they can't do it legally, they'll do it another way – the black market, Uncle Bertie calls it. He bought some tinned stuff the other day and gave me some for my store cupboard. Says we have to look after ourselves because you can't trust the government to see we don't starve.'

‘Mum will go back to endless stews,' Beth said. ‘Sometimes there might not be much more than veg in them, but they always taste good with her fresh bread. Thankfully, Dad has always kept accounts, so he will still have a licence to buy and sell food – some of the lads on the barrows aren't so lucky. They can't get a licence and that means they can't buy wholesale from the markets, well, not legally. Dad says it's their own fault for fiddling on their income tax, but he's sorry for them really.'

‘What will they do?'

‘Most of them are joining up,' Beth said. ‘The older ones will have to go into the factories, I suppose.'

Hurrying through the blackout, the girls laughed as vague shapes loomed up out of the gloom. It was becoming commonplace to bump into people and apologise but everyone was in the same boat and all they could do was smile and carry on.

*

Back at work, Beth became increasingly anxious during the next two weeks, when her period still refused to materialise. She was almost certain now that she was having Mark's child and there was still no word from him.

If she hadn't loved Mark, she might have tried drinking hot gin sitting in a hot bath, though she'd heard other girls talk about it as an old wife's tale as a way of getting rid of unwanted babies. However, Beth's love for the father of her baby made her feel it would be wicked to try and miscarry it, even though she was terrified of the consequences.

She was just going to have to carry on as best she could for as long as was possible.

Lizzie looked about the crowded room and smiled. In the weeks she'd been coming here so much had changed, because what had started out as just a small gathering had grown, and since Christmas the place had been packed and the noise of the laughter and music made it difficult to hear what people were asking for.

‘I'm sorry,' Lizzie said, leaning nearer to the young soldier. ‘Did you ask for two sausage rolls?'

‘Yes, please, if that's all right?'

‘Of course it is,' Lizzie said and smiled at him. ‘The food is given by various friends. Everyone has been generous, sharing what they can, and we get extra coupons because it's for our boys. After all, you deserve it…'

‘I'm not sure I do,' the young soldier grinned awkwardly. ‘I've only just finished my training.'

‘Don't worry, you'll be needed soon enough,' Lizzie said. ‘Besides, the rationing is getting worse all the time, so enjoy it while you can.'

He nodded cheerfully and moved off to join the group around the piano, who were belting out some of the more popular songs. As yet they hadn't experienced much of the war here and some people were calling it the false war, but at sea the merchant ships were being attacked, and, before Christmas, British ships had trapped one of Germany's large battleships – the Graf Spee – in the River Plate, but instead of surrendering, the captain had chosen to scuttle his ship and take his own life.

Lizzie knew that British planes were also flying into the danger zone on a daily basis, but so far Harry seemed to be surviving, thank God! He phoned at least twice a week and sent postcards now and then, but as yet there was no mention of him getting leave and Lizzie felt increasingly lonely in the evenings, which meant her time helping out at the club was a welcome change.

Aunt Miriam had been collecting glasses on a tray. She brought them back to the counter where Lizzie stood, looking at her enquiringly.

‘You look a bit down, Lizzie.'

‘Oh no, I'm all right – just thinking, you know.'

‘You haven't heard from Harry if he's coming home?'

‘No, he hasn't phoned for a while and . it's nearly two weeks since he wrote,' Lizzie felt an icy tingle at her nape. ‘I'd be worried if I thought…' she shook her head. ‘No, if anything were wrong I should have heard by now.'

‘Yes, of course you would. He will probably turn up and surprise you.'

Aunt Miriam took the tray into the kitchen and Lizzie took a cloth and went to wipe some tables down, clearing away the empty plates. She went to the kitchen and brought out two platters of fresh cut sandwiches, thinking that ham would be in short supply next month; it was a favourite with the men but getting more difficult to buy and next month it would be rationed.

‘Hello, Lizzie Larch…' the voice caused Lizzie to start and almost knock over a jug of milk she'd just filled. ‘I didn't expect to find you here. I nearly didn't come…'

Lizzie looked at the man she hadn't seen for months. He was wearing the uniform of an army officer and she thought his rank was that of a captain. The uniform suited him more than the severe suits he'd worn for business and there was a slight tan to his skin, as if he'd been in the sun. She knew better than to ask, because he probably couldn't tell her.

‘Sebastian, how pleasant to see you again. Are you home on leave?' Lizzie felt a little breathless. It was just such a shock seeing him here – and in uniform.

‘Just for a couple of days that's all,' he replied, smiling at her in a way that made Lizzie feel rather warm and a little uncomfortable. ‘How are you, Lizzie? Business doing well? I've seen your designs in Oliver's window and I thought they were really stylish.'

‘I'm doing well enough,' Lizzie said cautiously.

‘It's a good thing Oliver thought to buy up so much stock while he could. You won't find it easy to get supplies soon. Most of the factories are turning over to war production for the troops or essentials – and the special trimmings and silks from overseas will not be available. Shipping costs lives these days and other goods are more important.'

‘Yes, I know,' Lizzie said. ‘Uncle Bertie is constantly complaining about deliveries. He's on the priority list for his government contracts, of course, but even the essentials will become more difficult to source.'

‘The war has hardly got going yet,' Sebastian replied. ‘Wait until the shortages really start to bite. I'm not certain of my shop's future at the moment – but we'll try to keep things going for as long as we can.'

‘Yes, you must,' Lizzie said. ‘Can I get you a cup of tea – or something to eat?'

‘I'd rather you came out with me for a drink so that we can sit and talk '

‘I don't think I can do that,' Lizzie said. ‘I shall be here until nearly eleven and then… well, I am married you know.'

‘I still want you to work with me one day, Lizzie. Even if I have to slow things down for a few years at the shop, I'll have plans for the future. Oliver isn't the only one to get in on government contracts, you know. I've taken over a boot and shoe factory. It's army contracts, of course, but it means I'll have a business to come back to when it is all over.'

‘Aren't you in the army?'

‘In a manner of speaking,' he told her and smiled. ‘You know what they say, Lizzie – careless talk. I find time to look after my own affairs, and I have people I trust in charge. Has my manager been buying from you as I instructed?'

‘Yes, a few hats each month,' she said. ‘Not as many as you bought, but I may not have the right hats in stock when he comes. My customers take as many as they can in case stocks run out…'

‘Well, if you won't come out with me this evening, I'll call on you at the showroom tomorrow and have a look at what you have in stock. Take care of yourself, Lizzie…'

Miriam came up to her as Sebastian wandered over to the piano to listen to the exuberant delivery of one of Vera Lynn's popular songs. She was fast becoming a favourite with the forces and the public, perhaps because she was pretty and her songs gave people hope.

‘Who was that?' Miriam asked. ‘I thought it was one of Bert's customers… Sebastian Winters, but he's in uniform…'

‘Yes, he was,' Lizzie said and shrugged. ‘I don't think he's on active service though; he was talking about his new factory – makes boots for the army.'

‘Oh, one of those honorary commissions,' Harry's aunt said. ‘I suppose it gets him out of being thought a conchie or something.'

‘Yes, probably,' Lizzie said, because she wasn't sure about Sebastian Winters. She'd thought he was doing war work for the Government, but now he was talking about boot factories and special contracts and she wasn't sure what to think.

Seeing him had given her a bit of a jolt. She'd been very tempted to go for a drink with him, but of course it was out of the question. If Harry ever discovered that she'd been out with another man, especially Sebastian Winters… she dared not think what he would do or say. His jealousy made it impossible for her to have a friendship with another man – and yet Lizzie's feeling on seeing Sebastian was one of pleasure and, after all, what was wrong with having a friend?

It was ridiculous, but sometimes she felt trapped. Uncle Bertie had absorbed her into his business, making her responsible for his whole production of ladies' hats, and while she appreciated the extra money she made, sometimes she felt that he took her for granted. Because she was Harry's wife, she was family and finding herself drawn more and more into their circle. Aunt Miriam had brought her into the social club and often walked home with her. It seemed to Lizzie that they were watching over her for Harry's sake and although she appreciated their kindness, sometimes she would have liked a little freedom.

*

It was mid-morning the next day and Lizzie was just admiring a red cap she'd designed, which was rather like a soldier's but with an embroidered design to represent the badge and a jaunty feather, when she heard the showroom bell behind her.

‘Very unusual,' a voice said and Lizzie jerked round to see that Sebastian was standing watching her. This morning he was wearing his greatcoat over his uniform and he'd removed his cap. The light caught his dark hair and it looked almost blue-black for a moment. ‘Does it sell?'

‘We don't know yet; it is a part of our new range of mannish hats for ladies. The trilby hat over there is already popular and the little bowler has sold a few, but this is a new idea. I thought it might appeal to someone…'

‘It appeals to me,' Sebastian said. ‘Would you let me try it in my shop?'

‘Yes, why not?'

‘Thank you…' He glanced around at the various stands. Lizzie had several of them now and they set the hats off so much more than the old way Oliver had of just piling them on the counter. ‘I like that white straw at the back.'

‘It's an order for a wedding,' Lizzie said. ‘All those over that side of the counter are orders. Everything in front of you is for sale.'

‘The pink one is rather nice – and that emerald green. I'll take all of these felts, Lizzie, if that's all right?'

‘Of course. Do you want to take them with you?'

‘I'll ask someone to fetch them next week,' he said, and then as Lizzie turned he caught her arm. ‘I think of you all the time… can't get you out of my mind, Lizzie. Surely, you know how I feel about you?'