Living With Regret (26 page)

I lick her from top to bottom until I suck her clit into my mouth. Her hips start to lift off the bed and her moans become one long, never-ending noise. Her heels start digging into the bed as I add a finger. I pump it in and out as she starts to succumb to the pleasure I’m giving her. She’s close, I can tell by how tight she feels on my finger. Her mouth opens but no more sounds come out as I add my thumb to her clit, causing her whole body to tremble with pleasure.

“Oh. My. God.” Jordan is out of breath while she’s coming down from her climax, while I’m smiling like the happy bastard that I am.

“Sheesh, Chase. That was ...you need ...to do that again sometime in the very near future.” My body manages to relax even more knowing she doesn’t plan for this to be a one-time deal.

“Baby, I would be more than happy to go down on you every day if you allowed me to.”

She smiles with her eyes half-closed. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing you’re my neighbor, then.” And just like that, my body coils with tension. I want to be more—a lot more than a fucking neighbor to Jordan.

Her eyes fully open as she takes in my sudden change. “Hey, what’s wrong? Why did you check out on me?” Jordan asks as she searches my eyes for an answer. If she wants an answer ...then I’ll give her one.

“I don’t want to be your neighbor anymore; I want us to be more than that.”

Jordan’s eyes go wide with shock but I don’t know why, not after everything I’ve laid out for her today.

“I want to be with you, too, but I don’t think we’re ready to live together.” I scrunch my eyes, taking my own turn to look confused.

“You said you didn’t want to be my neighbor anymore, and while I’m good with us exploring where this might go, I’m not sure I’m ready to live with a man quite yet.”

Phew. “I didn’t mean it like that,” I rush out. “I meant I want my title in your life to be more than your neighbor. I want a real place in your life. One where I don’t have to share you with other men, where I don’t have to wake up every day wondering if I might do or say something that could ruin everything,” I add.

A comical expression comes over Jordan. “I’ll tell everyone you’re my lover. How does that sound?” She smirks.

This woman is batty. “Yeah, baby, you can introduce me to everyone you know with the exception of your parents as your lover. However, I think I need to start fucking you so I can probably earn my title.” I quickly hop off the bed and strip the rest of my clothing off before climbing back up her body.

I’m sure if I was listening to someone else tell me how they fell in love at sixteen after one glance at the girl they wanted to spend the rest of their life with I would think they were ludicrous, but it happened, and it happened to me. I’m positive not a day has gone by in twelve years that I haven’t loved this woman with all of my heart, and as I spread her legs open and slowly sink inside of her, I know I’ll never find another person I’ll love more.

“Oh God.” she moans out. I absolutely love how vocal Jordan is during sex. She doesn’t appear to hold back anything. “Don’t stop,” she breathes out. I grab one of her legs and wrap it behind my back then start ramming into her.

“You feel so fucking good. Jesus, Jordan,” I growl out.

Jordan’s glossy eyes ignite my desire even more. “Faster. I need it faster,” she says, arching her back and pushing her hips up to meet my thrusts.

“I love fucking your hungry little body,” I tell her with a smirk. I can feel her quiver against my cock. She moans again as her body starts to shudder then seconds later she’s squeezes me tighter than I can ever remember.

“You said you wanted a bath, but how about a shower?” I reach my arms around her back and pick her up. I walk the two of us to her bathroom, keeping my dick buried deep inside of her the entire time. Once we’re inside the shower with the water on, my need to move takes over. I thrust then groan from how hot and tight she feels, but I can’t hold off any longer. Gripping her hips, I start slamming in and out of her as hard as I can.

Her arms are wrapped around my neck as we stare into each other’s eyes. Jordan was the first girl I ever had sex with, therefore my first experience involved emotions. Emotions have not played a part in any physical relationship I’ve had with a woman in the last ten years, which left me feeling like my sex life was always lacking. And it was. It was lacking the right person.

What we’re doing, what we’re sharing, is much more than just sex, and there’s no way I can go back to anything stupid or meaningless again.

I moan out her name as I continue to thrust in and out of her. She feels too damn good paired with how long it’s been since we’ve had sex, and I know I’m not going to last much longer.

After two orgasms, Jordan’s body doesn’t seem nearly as close as I’d like her to be. I move a hand between us and I start rubbing her clit in circles. “I can’t. Chase, I can’t,” she says while shaking her head.

“Yes you can.” Her heavy eyes lock with mine. I keep my finger on her clit as my dick continues pounding into her.

“Oh shit,” she mumbles as I feel her starting to twitch against me.

“That’s it, baby. Come on my dick,” I say. My cock is ready to explode any second but thankfully Jordan appears to be close.

“Oh. Fuck. Oh God,” she screams as she arches her back with her head resting against the shower wall. Her mouth drops open but again nothing comes out as I feel her come on my dick. When her body shakes with the last of her release, I finally let go and follow her. “Fuck ...Goddamn, Jordan.” I tilt my head down and I look at her face to find a range of emotions, but satisfaction seems to be the one that’s most clear.

“This right here is ours. No one else gets this.” I take a deep breath and watch her closely. She agreed to more but I want to make sure she knows exactly where I stand with other men being in her life.

When she speaks, her voice is soft and gentle. “I spent ten years looking for someone that could make me feel the way you do, but it’s you. Only you my heart wants.” My body finally relaxes, probably for the first time in years.

“God, Jordan. Somewhere along the way, I lost the person I really am, but I was able to find him again, thanks to you.” A beautiful and happy smile crosses her face.

“Good, now let’s really take a shower, then I need a long nap because I was up all night taking care of Lacey.”

“Okay, baby. Shower then sleep.”

Sunday morning, my eyes drift open as the sun shines brightly into my bedroom. When I start to move, I feel an arm tighten around me, pulling me even closer to his very warm and very naked body.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Hearing Chase’s voice first thing in the morning might be my new favorite thing.

“I need to use the bathroom.”

Chase leans forward and tucks my hair behind my ear then he starts kissing his way down the curve of my neck.

“Hurry back. The bed will be too cold and lonely without you,” he says with his face nuzzled into my neck.

I giggle then hop out of the bed. Before I head to the bathroom, I turn and stand next to the bed, completely naked.

“You could always put on some clothing ...to warm up your cold body.” He grins but he’s not looking at me, he’s staring at my boobs.

“If we put clothes on, we’ll be taking them right back off. Now hurry up or I’ll start without you.” He chuckles.

“Start without me, what . . .” I stop talking when I see his hand go under the covers and he starts stroking himself while his eyes are still glued to my chest. “Hey, none of that. Give me a second and I’ll be right back to make sure you’re taken care of.”

I quickly use the bathroom and I’m washing my hands when I hear a knock at my front door. Other than another neighbor, there are only three people who can get up to my room without my doorman notifying me: my mom, dad, and Lacey. My parents would never come into the city without giving me advance warning; therefore, I’m putting my money on it being Lacey.

I slip into my robe as I walk back into my bedroom. “Hey, I think Lacey is here.” A strangled moan that sounds on the verge of pain comes from Chase.

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?” Before I can answer, I can hear another knock much louder than the first one.

“Okay, this is a special exception. Feel free to carry on without me.” I smirk before walking to my bedroom door.

Chase immediately pulls his hand out from the covers. “Fuck no I’m not using my hand. Go talk to your friend and we’ll continue this together after she’s gone,” he says with a pout.

I move my finger across my lips like I’m trying to decide what to do when Lacey starts banging and shouting for me to open the door. “Hold on, I’m coming.” I yell, hopefully loud enough for her to hear.

As I’m walking out of my room, I hear Chase mumble something like “Unfortunately you’re not.”

I have no idea why Lacey would be at my apartment this early on a Sunday morning, but after the way she drank herself stupid Friday night, I’m a little worried about her. I open the door and Lacey is standing there with an annoyed look on her face.

“Seriously? What took you so long to answer the fucking door?” Lacey comes off rude and abrasive to a lot of people, but happy, mad, or anything in between, this is how she always speaks, unless, of course she’s in a courtroom.

“Good morning to you to, sunshine. What has you out and about this early on a Sunday?” I ask.

Lacey’s eyes are burning a hole in me when she blurts out, “Did you fucking get laid? You’re never this happy unless you got yourself a piece of ass.”

Before I can tell her shut the hell up and be quiet, Chase is clearing his throat, probably bothered from overhearing Lacey’s remark.

“Oh. I didn’t know you had company. That explains why you left me outside forever.”

I roll my eyes and shake my head rather than argue about how long she waited on me. “What about your rule that guys don’t sleep over?” she rudely questions.

“Lacey!” I shout. “Don’t come over here and act like a bitch.” I glance over at Chase and he’s gone from bothered to fuming, and I don’t know if it’s because how Lacey is acting or from what she said.

Lacey sighs and softens her voice before she speaks up again. “I came over here to see if you wanted to go grab lunch. I owe you for taking care of me Friday night, but I should have called first, sorry.”

Lacey rarely apologizes using words. Usually when she’s done something to piss me off, she butters me up to make sure I’m no longer mad at her. This only confirms what I was already thinking: something’s wrong.

“What’s going on with you?” I softly ask. My best friend appears lost and lonely, and I know in my heart she’s keeping something from me.

“Nothing.” She exhales loudly. “Seriously. I’m just stressed about my workload. We seem to go out less and less these days so when I do get the chance to cut loose and have fun I try to soak up as much as I can. And before you say anything, I agree Friday night I drank beyond my limit, and if it wasn’t for you and Caleb, God only knows what might have happened to me.” She gives me a half-smile. “That’s my reason for coming over today. I wanted to thank you for taking care of me.”

The second Caleb’s name slips out, Chase goes rock solid and his pissy mood from moments ago is back, only now he appears to be furious.

“Caleb? Isn’t that the guy you dated a few weeks back? And you were out with him Friday night?” he questions in a harsh tone.

“No.”

“Yes.”

Lacey and I both answered at the exact same time. “Lacey, be quiet for a second.” I turn my back on her and walk until I’m standing directly in front of Chase. “I went to meet Lacey at Club Zen. I didn’t know Caleb was going to be there until after I got there. I promise it was no big deal. If anything, we cleared the air and things between us don't feel awkward anymore.”

Chase’s bad temper hasn’t settled in the least bit.

“Chill out. They were being friends. If it hadn’t been for them, I don’t know how I would have made it home.”

His face reddens more. “He went back to her place with the two of you?” He growls out his question as his eyes narrow to slits.

I’m not sure what he thinks happened between Caleb and me but his comment is dripping with accusations, which catches me off balance. We spent the last twenty-four hours naked and in bed together and he’s debating whether the night before we slept together—actually, only hours before—if I was screwing another man.

“Yes, Caleb helped me get Lacey to her apartment. He wanted to make sure we both made it home safely. After Lacey was done getting sick and in bed for the night, Caleb left and went home.” The entire time I was talking I made sure my tone was cool and distant, hoping he’d understand how distasteful his comment was. And it worked. His face softens and his shoulders sag.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be an ass, but thoughts of you, him, and that dress went through my mind and I couldn’t stop myself.” His voice is calm and relaxed, but I can tell he’s still trying hard to keep cool.

“That dress was fucking hot. I didn’t know you had it in you to wear something like that without already being smashed,” Lacey adds.