Liverpool Love Song (22 page)

‘But you can’t put us out like this, on the spur of the moment.’

‘It’s not the spur of the moment for me. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. Everything’s gone sour between us, so what’s the point of carrying on? You aren’t happy any more, in fact you’re as miserable as sin. A pain in the neck really.’

Chloe gripped the edge of her seat. ‘I can’t stay longer than a week. We won’t have enough clothes, and there’s all the children’s stuff.’

‘I’ll pack everything up for you and leave it in the conservatory. You can send somebody to pick it up.’

Chloe couldn’t get her breath; she felt in shock. ‘But I’ve no money, how am I going to manage?’

He reached in his pocket and brought out a wad of notes, which he flung on her lap. ‘This should get you started. Anyway, your mother’s got plenty of money. She won’t see you starve.’

Chloe felt as though he’d kicked her. Tears were stinging her eyes.

‘You’ve got another girlfriend?’

‘What if I have? You don’t want to come out with me. You’ve been no fun recently.’

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

C
HLOE SPENT THE WHOLE train journey gripped in a void of cold terror. She couldn’t stop her teeth chattering, although the carriage was warm. She couldn’t believe Adam would do this to her. She’d loved him and thought he loved her. He’d said their arrangement was exactly the same as marriage but without the ceremony and the certificate. She’d assumed that meant it was permanent.

‘Mummy crying?’ Lucy tugged at her sleeve. ‘What’s matter?’

Chloe was conscious of nearby passengers turning to look at her. ‘Just something in my eye,’ she whispered, and was glad she could bury her face in Zac’s shawl. She couldn’t think straight.

‘Want to sit on your knee, Mummy.’ Chloe put Zac back in his carrycot and took comfort in hugging her daughter and responding to her baby talk.

She felt no better when the train pulled into Liverpool Lime Street. The elderly man who’d been sitting opposite helped her lift the carrycot containing the sleeping Zac down to the platform. Gripping Lucy’s reins firmly, she looked round for her mother, who’d said she’d meet her.

Helen, wearing a smart red coat, was waving to them from behind the ticket collector. Chloe knew she’d have to tell her what had happened and throw herself on her mercy. She’d nowhere else she could go.

‘Nana,’ Lucy shouted. ‘Hello, Nana.’

But though Mum kissed them all and gave them a warm welcome, she was not in her usual happy mood. ‘Marigold can be a trial,’ she said, taking charge of their case and hurrying them towards her car. ‘I’m sorry she has to be with us. I meant you and me to have a lovely relaxing week. You look as though you could do with a rest.’

Lucy was gripping her grandmother’s coat and told her, ‘Mummy crying,’ but her words were not heard.

‘Marigold never throws anything away, you know,’ Helen went on, ‘and she’s brought so much stuff with her. I’d no sooner got her installed in the spare bedroom . . . D’you know what she said?’

Chloe was beyond saying anything.

‘“It’s silly, isn’t it, to squeeze me into the box room, when Chloe’s bedroom is empty?” I had to remind her quite sharply that you come to stay for a few nights once in a while. She said, “I can move out when we know she’s coming.” So I’m glad you’re here to prove my point.

‘Lucy, my pet, I’ve got you a car seat. I thought I’d better get one to keep you safe. Let me lift you in. There now, we’ll soon be home.’

Chloe climbed into the passenger seat. Her eyes were prickling and she was struggling to control her tears.

‘You’re very quiet.’ Her mother glanced up from the road. Chloe could hold them back no longer. Tears streamed down her cheeks. ‘Chloe, darling!’

‘Mummy sad,’ Lucy said.

‘I’m in terrible trouble, Mum,’ she wept. ‘Adam doesn’t want us to go back, and I don’t know what to do.’

She felt the car’s momentary jerk. ‘You’ve had a quarrel?’ Anxiety scraped in her mother’s voice.

‘It’s more than that.’

‘Darling, a week apart and it’ll all calm down. You’ll both feel differently.’

‘Mum, it’s over between Adam and me. I can’t go back and I’ve nowhere else to live.’

Chloe knew that had registered as a shock. There was horror in Mum’s voice. ‘You can live with me, you know that.’

‘Careful, Mum!’ Chloe felt a moment of panic, but the brakes slammed on and Mum stopped an inch away from the back of a bus.

‘I’m so sorry this has happened,’ she said. ‘Let’s talk about it when we get home. You mustn’t worry, I’ll see you’re all right.’

Chloe’s bedroom had always been a place of refuge when she was in trouble, though it didn’t seem quite the same, with the mattress for Lucy on the floor in the corner. She put the carrycot down on her bed and sank down beside it.

Her mother came running up with their suitcase and bags and threw her arms round her. ‘Marigold’s looking after Lucy. Tell me what’s gone wrong.’

Chloe felt terrible. It took her a long time to get it all out. She wept on her mother’s shoulder and felt a large handkerchief being pushed into her hand.

‘I’ve left everything behind, all our clothes and the pram and cot. How am I going to get them here?’

Adam’s business meant that they were always arranging for goods to be picked up or delivered. She knew how to arrange it, but she also knew what it would cost.

‘Ask Rex,’ Helen said. ‘He has a van, he’ll be only too glad to help you.’

‘Are you sure? It’ll take up his time, and then there’s the petrol . . .’

‘Diesel. You could offer to pay for that, but he’ll want to do it.’

Chloe took out the roll of money Adam had flung at her and counted it.

‘You’ll be all right.’ Mum patted her hand.

‘But this is all I’ve got,’ she wailed. ‘And I’ve two children to bring up now. I feel terrible throwing myself on you like this.’

Her mother touched the roll of money. ‘You’re not penniless.’

‘Adam’s given me a hundred pounds.’

‘There you are, then.’

‘I don’t know if there’ll be any more.’

‘Of course there will. It’s his duty to support his children.’

Chloe shivered. ‘I’ve a feeling this is all I’ll get.’

‘Chloe darling, you mustn’t be so negative.’ Helen walked round the room and came back. ‘I can make you more comfortable here. Oh dear, if only you’d married him.’

Chloe sniffed. ‘Right at the beginning you warned me, you said we must get married.’

‘It would have made you both think harder before you’d decided to part.’

‘We weren’t getting on, Mum. Staying with him isn’t an option any longer. I’ve been scared about what he’s doing. Afraid the police will catch him and we’ll both find ourselves in court charged with fencing.’

‘Oh God! How long has that been going on?’

Chloe shrugged, ‘All along, I think. Anyway, he’s got another girlfriend.’

‘Marriage would have given you legal rights.’

‘And the need for a divorce.’

Zac began to stir and make his ticking sound. Chloe picked him up out of his carrycot. ‘It’s time for his feed,’ she said. ‘I should have left Adam ages ago, before I had this one. I wish I had.’

‘You mustn’t say that, love. Zac is here now, and he’s a beautiful baby. You stay here and feed him, have a rest if you can. I’ll go and break the news to Marigold and see about some lunch.’

‘What a mess I’ve made of my life.’

‘Darling, you know I’ll help in every way I can. We’ll arrange something for you.’

The bedroom door closed behind her. Chloe lay down on her bed and began to feed Zac. It made her keep still, but nothing could calm her. She couldn’t stop thinking about Adam. She’d thought he loved the children. She’d seen him as her husband even though he wasn’t. She’d truly thought of him as her partner for life.

Had he ever thought of her like that? Or had he deliberately avoided marriage so he could move on when he tired of her? He’d let her down, kicked her in the teeth, altered the whole course of her life. Ruined it. He’d rejected her and there could be nothing more painful than being rejected by a lover. She’d trusted and given freely of all the love she had. She was a failure as a lover, a failure as a homemaker and probably also as a mother. Chloe felt she was touching bottom.

When Zac went off to sleep again, Chloe made herself go downstairs. She had to; she knew from the clatter of dishes that lunch was nearly ready. She’d have preferred to stay in her room and forgo that; she wasn’t hungry. But she had to live here, so there was no way she could hide from Aunt Goldie. She found her reading ‘Cinderella’ to Lucy.

‘Well, Chloe,’ Marigold said, straightening up as soon as she saw her. ‘I’m sorry to hear about your trouble, but you must know how shocked and shamed I felt when you brazenly went to live with a man who didn’t want to marry you.’ Her grey eyes flashed with unforgiving severity. ‘I did my best to warn you. You should have taken heed of what I said, and now I’m proved right. You’ve brought shame on us all and saddled us with these two little children to bring up.’

Her mother came rushing in. ‘Lunch is ready,’ she said. ‘Will you bring Lucy in, please, Marigold?’ She stood back to usher them all to the dining room.

‘She could do with a high chair,’ Marigold said. ‘I don’t suppose you bothered to bring that, Chloe?’

‘I’ve put a cushion on this chair for Lucy,’ Helen said, but nothing could stop Marigold’s tirade.

‘You had a very comfortable life here with your mother. You should not have been in such a hurry to turn your back on it.’

‘No,’ Chloe agreed. How she wished she hadn’t. She was only just in control of her tears, and she wouldn’t be able to stand much more of this.

‘She gave you everything you could possibly have wanted. Holidays at the seaside, visits to the ballet, trips to art galleries.’

‘Would you like some mayonnaise on your salad, Marigold?’

‘Yes please. You should not have let yourself be led astray by that Adam fellow. Whatever made you do that?’

Chloe bit back. ‘I understand you did exactly the same, Aunt Goldie, so it’s in my genes. You can’t push all the blame on me.’

Marigold’s cheeks flushed puce. ‘How dare you say—’

‘Give over, both of you,’ Helen burst out. ‘If you’re going to live with me, you’ll have to live in peace. I want no more of this.’

There was a subdued silence until Lucy piped, ‘What’s Mummy done wrong?’

‘Nothing, darling,’ Helen said. ‘I’ve asked Rex to come for dinner tonight. He usually comes in the afternoon to do a bit of tidying up in the garden. We should all get out and enjoy the sun.’

‘Bringing shame on the family,’ Aunt Goldie muttered under her breath. ‘You’ll be paying for this mistake for the rest of your life.’

Chloe cringed and struggled to swallow the cold beef.

‘You mustn’t let Marigold faze you,’ Helen said to her daughter while they were washing up together afterwards. ‘I’m sure Gran accused her of shaming the family, and she doesn’t realise how things have changed. Neither does she remember how painful it was at the time.’

‘You’re wrong, she’s never forgotten,’ Chloe said. ‘She’s been bitter and twisted all her life. Never got over it.’

‘Take no notice of what she says. In the old days, when it happened to Marigold, it was hard to pick yourself up afterwards. It’s easier now; it’ll be quite different for you.’

She could see Chloe was struggling to hold herself together. ‘Marigold is surprisingly good with Lucy. Give her credit where it’s due.’

‘That’s not easy either.’

‘If I’d known you’d be coming back to live with me, I wouldn’t have let her come. It would have been the perfect excuse.’

‘I should have said something sooner. Let you know that things were getting impossible between me and Adam.’

‘I wish you had. By the way, I rang Rex before lunch to put him in the picture. I thought it would be easier if he knew before he came.’

‘Thanks, Mum.’ Chloe wiped her eyes on the tea towel. ‘I’ve made a mess of my life. Sorry to have landed you in it too.’

Rex was outraged at the way Chloe had been treated. He ached to tell Adam what he thought of him face to face. Just thinking about it made his hands clench into fists. He’d like to make him suffer.

He’d persuaded a young and innocent girl of barely seventeen to have sex with him. Lured her into living with him in his fine house and sired two children with her. Now it seemed he didn’t want her or her babies any more. He’d got himself another girlfriend. Rex didn’t call that love; he thought Adam had abused Chloe.

Her children were delightful, especially little Lucy, who could charm her way into anyone’s heart. Even Marigold had taken to her. How could her real father turn his back on her? He must have a heart of stone.

Rex had meant to spend an hour on his business accounts, but he couldn’t settle to the work, so he drove over to Helen’s garden earlier than he’d intended. He parked his van beside her garage, and though he’d meant to do some gentle hoeing to keep the weeds under control, he set about knocking back some nettles that were taking hold near his compost heap. He slashed at them furiously, trying to get the anger out of his system. He’d deal with their roots later, when he was calmer. He ached to help Chloe. In a way, he blamed himself for what had happened to her.

Why hadn’t he taken up with her before Adam had come on the scene? His reasons sounded stupid now: he was so much older than she was; he’d been afraid she’d think him dull, too old for romance, past all that. He’d been waiting for her to grow to maturity.

Like a fool he’d hung back, but she’d have been his adored wife, he’d have cherished her. He’d have done everything to make her happy. Life would have been good for her and marvellous for him.

And if only he’d waited, been more patient once Chloe had gone to Adam, he’d be free to comfort her now. Once she’d recovered enough, he’d have been able to plead his case, but he hadn’t foreseen a disaster like this overtaking her. Chloe might find a staid older husband more acceptable after this. He’d never stopped loving her, and he’d love her children because they were hers. He’d help her bring them up; he’d have a ready-made family.