Little Blackbird (10 page)

F
INGERNAILS CLAWED AT her chest and shoved at her throat. Hands gripped her waist so tightly that she thrashed and yelled, choking on her own voice. She kicked against the window, again and again and again, but no one heard her. The darkness folded over her like a shroud.

Kate gasped and flung herself into a sitting position. The confined space and darkness were gone, replaced by the blazing sun and colors so bright she couldn’t keep her eyes open. She clutched dry grass in her hands, balancing herself upright.

“Whoa, whoa,” a male said. His voice sounded like a record played on the wrong speed, deep and elongated.

Sounds around her picked up speed and intensity. A blue jay threatened an intruder. A car drove past on the nearby street. A dog woofed in delight.

“What’s wrong with her?” another male asked. “Is she having a sort of fit?”

“Nothing’s
wrong
with her. She passed out. People do this all the time in the summer when they haven’t had enough water and they’re dehydrated.”

“You think that’s it? Remember that kid who had that fit at school when we were kids? The one who nearly bit off his tongue? You think she has that?”

“No. That was epilepsy. This is nothing like that.”

Kate doubled over and stared at her knees tenting her black skirt. On each inhale, she smelled the stink of men’s cologne, soured by sweat and cigarettes. She blinked in the glaring light. Her heart raced, and tears filled her eyes before splattering on her skirt. A hand touched her back tentatively as though she was a wild animal that might attack.

“Just breathe,” the voice said.

She obeyed, pulling in one ragged breath after another until she stopped trembling.

“That’s it. Keep breathing. Everything is okay.” The hand moved up and down her back, imprinting a lazy, figure-eight pattern into her skin. The voice soothed her, and she believed his words.

“Is she going to be okay?”

Geoffrey
. The voices finally connected with faces in her brain.
And Matthias
.

A premonition
. She was still in the park with them.
Of all the lousy times to become the freak.

Kate inhaled deeply, wiped her eyes, and lifted her head. Geoffrey crouched at her feet, looking at her with a concerned expression. Matthias knelt on his knees beside her. It was his hand on her back. His blue eyes studied her.

“Hey,” Geoffrey said, “you okay?”

Kate nodded. “I’m sorry…I must have gotten too hot. I do that sometimes. Overheat.” Her hollow voice sounded like a liar’s. She couldn’t meet his gaze.

Matthias stopped rubbing her back and stood. “Let’s get her home.”

Geoffrey held out his hands to her, and Kate flinched, remembering hands that gripped too tightly, that stopped the blood. She closed her eyes and inhaled slowly.
It wasn’t him. It’s probably not even anyone you know.
She reached her hands out to him and he pulled her up. His hands held hers for a moment longer than necessary, and she wanted to enjoy the awareness of his skin against hers, but she felt stretched too thin. She felt as though the knob controlling every one of her senses had been turned past the highest notch. The premonition lingered like dregs in the last of the tea.

“Should we get her some water?” Geoffrey asked Matthias. “Are you okay to walk?”

Kate tried to smile, but an ideal afternoon had been ruined by her family’s curse. “I’m fine, really. It happens sometimes. It’s no big deal.”

“God, it sure
looked
like a big deal. You were out cold. You crumpled like a rag doll. I’ve never seen anything like it. But you’re sure you’re okay? You think you just got too hot out here? Cause it’s been brutal today,” Geoffrey said.

Brutal
. Kate thought of fingers that bruised, shouts that were buried in someone’s shoulder. She shivered.

“Let’s get you home,” Geoffrey said, agreeing with Matthias. “At least let’s get into the car where it’s cooler.”

Kate nodded and Geoffrey kept glancing over at her as they walked. At the car, Geoffrey popped open the trunk. Matthias unlocked the passenger side door for Kate, but he didn’t open it wide enough for her to slip inside. Instead, he stood in the way.

“You were ice cold,” Matthias said quietly. He reached out and pressed his fingertips against her forearm. “Still are.”

Kate stared up at him. His eyes reminded her of blue hydrangea blooms, ringed in indigo. Her pulse tapped against her temple.

“I’ve seen heat exhaustion and overheating. That’s not what you experienced.”

“Okay.” What else could she say? She couldn’t admit she’d had a premonition. They’d likely leave her standing alone in the park while they laughed themselves all the way home.
Crazy Kate, that’s what they’ll call me.

Geoffrey arranged their belongings in the trunk and spoke to them, but Kate couldn’t understand what he was saying. Matthias’ knowing gaze trapped her like an ant in pine sap. She swallowed.

“Do you want to tell me what it was?” he asked.

Kate shook her head. “It doesn’t matter what it was,” she whispered. “I’m okay now.”

His fingers tightened on the door before he sighed. He passed her the cookie plate and stepped away from her. Geoffrey closed the trunk and opened the backseat door. Kate climbed inside and rested the plate in her lap. Matthias slid behind the wheel, started the car, and didn’t say a word for the entire ride.

When they arrived at her house, Geoffrey tried to walk her to the front door, but she refused to let him.

“Why?” he asked as he leaned against the passenger side door.

“Because,” she said.

“Because why?” he asked, his voice taking on a whiny tone.

“Because it’ll look like…like it’s important.”
Like
we’re
important
.

A smile stretched across Geoffrey’s face. “Oh, you mean it’ll look like we’re dating?”

Kate’s gaze jerked up to meet his. She held her breath.

“We could be, you know,” he said, leaning toward her.

“Even after today?”

Geoffrey stopped smiling. “Why not? Because you passed out? What do you think I am, a complete jerk? I don’t care about that. I care about
you
.”

Kate backed away from him, shaking her head. He reached out and caught her arm.

“Can I see you tonight? Someone needs to check on you,” he said.

“I’m fine, and I’ll be sleeping,” she said, but she wanted to slide her hand into his and say yes. He still wanted to see her after she collapsed in the park? Why wasn’t he finally acknowledging that she was probably as weird as everyone said?

“I’ll knock,” he said.

“I’ll think of answering,” she said. Her mouth tugged up at the corners. She caught Matthias’ gaze through the windshield, but his expression confused her. She turned and hurried to the front porch before she admitted that there was no way she would be able to fall asleep knowing Geoffrey would be coming to her window.

K
ATE LIFTED THE window and glanced over her shoulder before slipping one leg out and then the other. She dropped to the ground, her feet cushioned by the flowerbed of Shasta daisies. After easing her window shut, she shoved her hand into her pocket and pulled out a small bag full of dried lavender. Then she ran through the darkness down to the river’s edge. She knelt along the bank, tossed the brittle flowers into her mouth, and then cupped river water in her hands and drank.

No more premonitions tonight. Please.

She heard Geoffrey approach, and before he reached her window, she whistled the tune of a whippoorwill. Geoffrey stopped and glanced toward the river. His tall frame cast a shadow as thin as a cattail against the side of the house. Kate raised her hand and waved at him. His gait was uneven but quiet. Kate sat and waited for him, and within a moment, he sat down beside her on the bank. He didn’t bother keeping his brace away from the water.

“Nice bird call.”

Kate grinned. “They don’t call me Little Blackbird for nothing. I can mimic lots of birds. Plus, I sing–” She stopped talking, realizing too late that she was sharing personal information with him and what that would mean—they would become closer. They would
bond
, and Kate still wasn’t sure if bonding with Geoffrey was an innocuous idea.

“They call you Little Blackbird?” Geoffrey’s voice betrayed his smile.

“Yeah.”

“That’s cute…Little Blackbird,” he said and chuckled.

She frowned at him even though he couldn’t see her expression in the darkness. “
They
, not
you
”

“Oh, so I’m not allowed?”

“No.”

His laugh echoed across the river, and a family of bobwhites rustled from the reeds like a weaving bird train before disappearing again. “You came outside early,” he said. “What if I hadn’t come?”

“Was that an option?” she asked. After he’d paid her a couple of nighttime visits, she hadn’t even worried that he would stop showing up. Would he? What then? Was he planning on winning her heart and then disappearing with it?
Could
he win her heart? She moved one hand up to her collarbone and pressed it against her chest.
You stay in there.

“Of course not.” He leaned back on his hands and stretched his legs. “How’re you feeling?”

“Fine,” she said. “Just like normal.”
Because even premonitions are normal for me.

“Matthias says it’s good to carry water around with you during the summertime so you can stay hydrated.” Geoffrey leaned over his knees and untied his tennis shoes. He pulled them off and set them away from the water. Then he removed his brace and socks.

Kate looked at Geoffrey’s silhouette. “Is that all he said?”

“About what? Hydration?”

She stared at their feet. Hers were bare and rested at the river’s edge. Tiny waves lapped against her heels when the river swelled over rocks and pushed the water to the edges of its boundary. Geoffrey’s legs stretched much farther than hers, reaching into the water, wetting his long, narrow feet.

“About today. About
me
,” Kate said.

Geoffrey shook his head. “Was there anything more to say?”

“No. No, I just thought because he’s a doctor—or a doctor in training—that he might have some insight.”

“Nah, he just reminded me to always drink water. Instead of beer,” he said and chuckled.

“Is that something you do often?”

“What? Drink beer?” Geoffrey shrugged. “Depends on your definition of often.”

“Every day?”

“Definitely not,” Geoffrey said. “Mom doesn’t like it, and she would never let us sit around and drink in the house.”

“So you only do that when she’s away.” Kate pulled a blade of grass from its roots and slid her fingernail up the spine, splitting the blade in half.

Geoffrey looked over at her. “It’s a good time to do it.” The owl hooted across the water, and Geoffrey turned his face to scan the darkened forest. “It’s a good time to do a lot of things when she’s away. Like live.”

Kate almost asked,
What’s it like to
live
in your world?
but she knew he wouldn’t understand. He probably didn’t even realize how different their lives were, or if he did, he didn’t see the great chasm spanning between them like she did. Instead, she asked, “What about college? What are you going to study?”

“Dad wants me to study law like Ben and Richard or medicine like Matt,” he said.

The wind pushed clouds across the night sky so that they covered the sliver of moon, cutting off the feeble light. Kate and Geoffrey slipped into a darkness so complete that Kate had trouble seeing her own body. She heard Geoffrey shift in the shadows and then felt his arm press against hers.
I’m still here
.

“Which one do you want to study? Law or medicine?” she asked.

“Did I say
want
?”

His irritation rippled over her skin like goosebumps. She rubbed her hands up and down her arms. “Why would you study a subject you didn’t want to?”

He scoffed. “Because it’s what Dad thinks is right.”

“And…you don’t have any say?”