Lipstick and Lies (22 page)

‘Sure.’

At that moment Selina came into the kitchen.
‘Sorry to hog
your phone for so long Cass.’

‘That’s quite all right,’ I said stiffly.
Stevie clocked my body language.
He gave me a curious look as he stood up to follow Toby.
‘Selina, this is Stevie.
Toby and Livvy’s father.’

She held out a hand.
‘How do you do?’

‘I do very well thank you Selina,’ said Stevie switching on the charm as he shook her hand.
He held it a fraction longer than nece
ssary.

‘I’m a colleague
of Jamie’s,’ Selina explained.

‘Lucky Jamie,’ Stevie winked.

‘And Selina is also the fiancée of Jamie
’s business partner,’ I added.

‘He’s lucky
too
,’ Stevie grinned.

‘We’re watching Paranormal Activity,’ Toby said to Selina.
‘
Would you like to see it too?’

‘I absolutely adore scary films,’ Selina clapped her hands toge
ther, ‘and crisps,’ she added.

‘Cool.
You can sit next to me Selina,’ said Toby
.
He puffed
his chest
out
importantly.
Clearly my son was thrilled to bits
knowing
he’d have Dad on one side and crumpet on the other.
I stared after them as they piled out of the kitchen.
Well don’t mind me.
Do make free with my house.
And my bags of crisps.
I stood up to shut the larder door.
When was that
wretched woman going home?

Wandering into the lounge, I picked up the remote control.
Snuggling down with a cushion, I found myself watching a repeat of
The Real Hustle
.
A lit
tle while later Jamie came in.

‘There’s all sorts of shrieks and screams coming from Toby’s bedroom,’ he said
as he sat down
next to me.
‘I just stuck my head around the door and it’s like a cinema in there.
I see Stevie’s here,’ Jamie put an arm around me, ‘and bat
ting his eyelashes at Selina.’

‘I
wonder if she’ll flirt back.’

‘Unlikely.
I’ve told you before.
She’s nuts about Ethan.’

‘Yes, she went to great lengths to expound that fact when she paid a little visit to me upstairs earlier on.
She a
pologised profusely for all the past behaviour.
Assured me she was a born-again sane person.’
I gave Jamie
a re-run of the conversation.

‘You see,’ he
squeezed me
reassuring
ly
.
‘I told you she was sorry.
Give her a tiny bit of credit for having the bottle to
talk to you
.’

‘Huh,’ I rolled my eyes.

‘What are you watching?’ Jamie went to take the remote control from me, a sure sign that channel hopping was about to take place.
I clung on to it possessively.

‘
I’m watching u
nsuspecting members of the public being duped by con artists.
I can’t belie
ve people can be so gullible.’

‘
That’s b
ecause conmen can be convincing.
It happened to you once,’ J
amie gave me a sidelong look.

‘What
are
you
talking about?’ I spluttered.

‘Do you remember the time those two guys rang the doorbell
and wanted to
use our phone?’

I screwed up my face in concentration.
Flipped backwards through pages of memory.
‘Y-e-s.
They’d had a puncture
,
and neither of them had a mobile phone.’

‘That’s right.
And you were more than happy to invite them in to use our telephone.’

‘Where is this leading to exactly?’

Jamie whipped the remote out of my hand and turned the volume down.
‘Do you
also
remember one of them asking to use the toilet while the other made
his
phone call?’

‘I do as it happens.
I directed him to the loo down the hallway.’

‘Well I never told you this Cassie, but the guy came into our kitchen – where I happened to be sitting at the table quietly reading the newspaper.
He looked quite shocked when he walked in and saw me
.
He
clearly
thought
it was
just
you at home that day.’

‘Credit me with some sense Jamie.
I wouldn’t have invited strangers into the hou
se if you hadn’t been around.’

‘Yes, but the point is they were opportunists.
And they took a cha
nce you might be on your own.’

‘So what happened when this bloke saw you sitting there?’

‘Oh he made some spurious excuse about mistaking the kitchen for the cloakroom
.
S
o I re-directed him and waited outside while he went through the motions of flushing the chain
,
before leading him back down the hallway.
His mate finished his pretend phone call
,
and
then
I waved them both off the premises.’

‘So how do you know they weren’t legitimate?’ I frowned.

‘Did you see a flat tyre on their vehicle?’

‘Gosh I don’t know.
Not as such no.
I didn’t go out there and demand to inspect the puncture if that’s what you mean.
It’s not something anybody would do is it?’

‘Exactly.
And none of their tyres were flat.
And as they drove off I made a note of the registration number.
It turned out the van was stolen.’

‘No!’ I gasped.
‘Why didn’t
you tell me this at the time?’

‘You were pregnant with Eddie and I didn’t want to frighten you.
But I’m telling you now.
So be warned Cassie.
Be vigilant and have your
wits about you at all times.’

‘Good
heavens,’ I muttered faintly.

The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs could be heard.
Stevie and Selina a
ppeared in the lounge doorway.

‘Thanks for letting me see the kids Cass,’ said Stevie.
‘I’ll be off now.’

‘I must go too,’ said Selina.

Hurrah.
At last.

‘Can I call you a taxi?’ I asked quickly, before Jamie could volunteer his se
rvices.

‘That’s very kind Cass
,
but no thank you.
Stevie is going to pop me home.’
Selina gave Stevie a winning smile.
‘Are you sure you don’t mind?
I don’t want
to take you out of your way.’

‘No trouble at all,’ Stevie assured, as if
popping
twenty miles to Greenwich and then twenty miles home again was nothing more than a five minute
round journey
.

‘Well don’t let us keep you,’ I trilled.
Standing up I steered them into the hallway.
‘And no problem seeing the twins
,
Stevie.
Anytime.
You’re always welcome.’
I didn’t follow through with a similar assurance to Selina.
Hopefully she’d twig my subliminal message.
Jamie stood up too and followed everyone to
the front door.

‘Well good-bye,’ Selina hovered, unsure whether our
truce
might include pecks on cheeks.
They didn’t.

‘Good-bye,’ I opened the door to usher her out.
She stood her ground.
Looked at Jamie.

‘I’ll see you at the apartment in the morning.’

‘Sure,’ Jamie nodded.

Selina gave me a look.
I could have sworn it was one of triumph.
‘My car,’ s
he said by way of explanation.

Ah yes.
The car with an abundance of mechanical problems.
How convenient.
It occurred to me that in the space of just a few hours this woman had achieved both my husband and ex-husband running around after her.
Stevie placed the palm of one hand in the small of Selina’s back and guided her out into the night.
There followed a few more goodnights and words of thanks before they finally took their leave.
I shut the door
after them
.

‘What’s the matter Cassie?
You look
like you’ve swallowed a wasp.’

‘That woman.’
I drew in a breath.
‘She do
esn’t fool me for one moment.’

‘What are you talking about now?’ Jamie gave a sigh of exas
peration.

‘You’ve just finished giving me a pep talk about conmen.
Instructed me to have my wits about me at all times.
Well frankly
,
darling
,
you
should heed your own advice.’

‘How do you work that one out Cassie?’ Jamie took me by the hand as we walked
back to the lounge.

‘Because I can’t shake the feeling that Selina is conning the lot of us.’

The letterbox clattered as it spewed forth a new day’s delivery from the Royal Mail.
Envelopes fell in an untidy pile on the doormat.
I bent down and gathered everything up.
Walking into the kitchen, I nearly tripped over Wallace and Gromet
.
The cats were
waiting patiently for their breakfast, tails folded primly over paws.
As soon as they saw me, they
began
a cacophony of yowling
.
Wallace stood up and
weav
ed
around my ankles.
I frisbeed the post onto the kitchen table
,
and
got on with
open
ing
a tin of cat food.
Jamie came into the kitchen, Eddie in his arms.

‘Our son slept through the nig
ht!’ he declared in amazement.

‘Indeed
.
’
I plonked
whiffy meat
down in front of the cats
, and then
busied myself mixing
milk and cereal for Eddie
.
‘All
thanks
to Morag and her sleep plan
.
’ I shoved the bowl of gloop in
to
the microwave.
‘And
due
to her incessant nagging
about weaning,
my boobs
are
back
to normal
.
Look,’ I patted my deflated chest
.
‘
S
oft again.’

Jamie squeezed my left breast.
‘So they are.
I’ve a good mind to whisk you straight back upstairs Mrs Mackerel
, and give
your
chest a thorough examination.’

My mother-in-law walked in.
‘What’s the matter with your chest Cassandra dear?
I couldn’t help noticing you didn’t have enough layers on for your jog in the park with Rocket yesterday.
I ho
pe you haven’t caught a cold.’

The microwave pinged.
I turned to open the door, hiding a smile.
‘You’re quite right Edna.
I promise to w
rap up more warmly next time.’

Jamie caught my eye
and winked.
‘
Let me have that,’
he took the
baby cereal, ‘and
have the pleasure of feeding our little boy before I race off to
Greenwich
.’

Ah yes.
Princess Selina.
Not only lonely in her penthouse turret but apparently stranded too.
I pursed my lips but refrained from saying anything.
Instead I
busied myself laying the table with
plates and cutlery while Edna whisked up fluffy pancakes for the children.
They
piled
into the kitchen seconds later demanding maple syrup and jam.
Jamie shovelled
porridgey mix
into Eddie’s eager mouth while I poured juice into cups.
I then started on the mail.
The electricity bill was
how much
?
I stuffed the offending paperwork back into its envelope.
I could see why Jamie was so keen for his business partnership to continue
,
and avoid going back on a bobby’s beat.
There was a clatter of knives and forks being put down.
I looked up.