Line of Scrimmage (7 page)

“No,” he protested. “That’s not true. We love each other. What else is there?”

“I waited
years,
Ryan
—
too many years—to have just the kind of conversation we’ve had tonight. But there was always something else that was more
important, something else you had to attend to, or some
one
else.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked hotly.

“It doesn’t matter now. None of it does. It’s too late.

You need to accept that and let me go.”

“Never.”

“You promised me. You said if I gave you these ten days and still wanted the divorce you would give it to me. You promised
you wouldn’t interfere with Henry and me. I’m going to hold you to it.”

“I’ve got eight days left, and now I know you still love me,” he said with the cocky smile that was all Ryan. “And if you
didn’t want me anymore you wouldn’t have kissed me the way you did. So the way I see it, I’m still in the game.”

With an exasperated sigh, she got up from the floor.

“You were right when you said it’s time to retire, Ry.

Let’s go out while we’re still on top. Good night.”

Chapter 7

SUSANNAH TOSSED AND TURNED. SHE LISTENED TO RYAN play his guitar and was still awake when he crept into her room, brushed
the hair off her face, and kissed her forehead.

“I love you, Susie,” he whispered. “I love you more than anything.”

Pretending to be asleep, she struggled to keep her breathing steady as her heart pounded. He left as quietly as he had come.
When she heard the shower go on in the master bedroom, she wept bitterly into her pillow.

How long have I wished for him to give himself to me
this way? Only now that he’s planning to give up football
will I come first with him. It’s too little, too late.
Choked by sobs, she was reminded of all the nights she had cried herself to sleep over the man who was once again occupying
her every thought.
I can’t put myself through this
a second time. I’ve already been unfaithful to Henry by
kissing Ryan like kissing was on its way out of style.
Henry . . . you deserve so much better. I’ve disappointed
you so many times in the past. I can’t let it happen again.
I just can’t.

Despair.

Was there any other word to describe what she felt just then? From the very beginning with Ryan, she had been sucked into
his orbit. She left college to marry him and moved to Denver when he signed with the Mavs. Her life revolved around him for
so long that when their marriage ended, she discovered she had no idea who she was without him. She had spent the last year
figuring that out and had been on her way to a whole new life when he’d come swooping back in, tipping her world upside down
as only Ryan could.

Her sobs dissolved into hiccups as warm, bitter tears continued to cascade down her face.

“Susie?”

She suppressed a groan. “Go to bed, Ryan.”

He came in and perched carefully on the edge of the bed. “Are you crying?” Reaching out to caress her face, he said, “You
are! Baby, what’s wrong?”

The light coming from the hallway made it possible for her to see that he wore only boxers. His wet hair was combed back off
his freshly shaven face. He was still the most beautiful man she had ever seen, and God help her, she still wanted him. “Nothing’s
wrong,” she said. “Go to bed. Please.”

“I can’t leave you here upset and alone.”

“Why not? You’ve done it before.”

He winced.

She couldn’t see his eyes but could imagine the flash of anger and pain. Her own eyes flooded with new tears.

“Susannah . . . You’re breaking my heart.”

“You broke mine,” she said between sobs. “More than once.”

“I’m sorry,” he said in a pleading tone. “You’re the last person in the world I ever meant to hurt. You have to know that.”
He reached for her and pulled her up and into his arms. “I’ve made mistakes,” he said, brushing a hand over her hair. “I don’t
deny that, but I want to make it right. You have to help me make it right.”

“I don’t
have
to do anything,” she retorted. “The time for making it right was when I was begging you to engage in our marriage. You’re
so used to getting everything you want that you have no idea how to deal with the word
no,
do you?”

“I haven’t gotten everything I wanted,” he reminded her.

She pulled back from him, incredulous. “Not getting to play for the Cowboys does
not
count.”

“You never understood how I felt about that, so I don’t expect you to get it now.”

She stared at him in disbelief. “You’ve had a career most men would sell their souls for, and yet you’re still nursing that
old wound, aren’t you? You’ve been so blessed that you can’t see how stupid it is.”

“I know I’ve been blessed, and I know now I was meant to play for the Mavs even if I grew up dreaming of a career with the
Cowboys. I wouldn’t have three Super Bowl rings if the Cowboys had drafted me. I get that—now.”

She had never heard him say that before, and the revelation was intriguing. He
had
changed. “Ryan, I didn’t mean—”

He shook his head to stop her. “They said I was the best high school football player to come out of Texas in a decade, but
I didn’t get to play for the team I grew up worshiping. I know you think it’s dumb in light of everything I’ve had with the
Mavs, but it hurt. I don’t expect you to understand it. Why would you? After all,

I had to tell you the quarterback is the one who throws the ball.”

She chuckled when she remembered his shock at discovering she knew absolutely nothing about football and wasn’t among the
legions of Florida’s faithful who spent autumn Saturdays in The Swamp worshiping at the altar of Ryan Sanderson. “And no one
throws the ball better than you do,” she said softly, regretting now that she had pulled the scab off an old wound. “I’m sorry
I didn’t try harder to understand how much that hurt you.”

He shrugged. “It’s old news now, and in hindsight, I guess it
was
kind of dumb. I hardly have anything to complain about, do I? How did we get on this tired old subject, anyway?”

She smiled. “I think it started with me saying you get everything you want.”

“Ah, yes,” he said, returning her smile. “And something about me not understanding the word
no,
if I recall correctly.”

Amusement faded into desire when their eyes met in the milky darkness.

He combed his fingers through her hair and tugged lightly, tipping her face up. “Kiss me,” he whispered.

“No,” she said, even though she burned for him.

A long, breathless moment passed before he removed his hand from her hair and eased her back down to her pillow. He kissed
her forehead, whispering, “See? I
can
take no for an answer.”

Susannah lay awake for a long time after he left wishing he had stayed and worrying about what she might have done if he hadn’t
taken no for an answer.

Ryan delivered breakfast in bed the next morning: coffee, toast, scrambled eggs, juice, and a sprig of evergreen in a vase.
“I couldn’t find a rose,” he said with a shy and uncertain smile.

“Roses aren’t big fans of snow,” she said, impressed and touched by the effort he was making. She sat up and combed her fingers
through her hair, worried that she looked like a wreck.

He rested the tray on her lap and kissed her cheek. “You look beautiful in the morning. You never believed me when I told
you that.”

That he read her thoughts so easily was more than a little unnerving. That he was so different from the Ryan she had come
to expect was terrifying. She had no idea how to protect herself from this new sensitive, attentive version of Ryan. Reaching
for the mug of coffee on the tray, she took a long sip, hoping it would wake up her defenses, because right now they were
missing in action.

“Do you think maybe you could take that off while we’re here?” he asked.

“What?”

He nodded at her engagement ring.

“No.”

Sitting down on the bed, he reached for her hand and ran his thumb over the ring. “What did you do with the rings I gave you?”

“They’re in the safe at home.”

“I thought you’d hock them or something.”

“Why? I don’t need the money. You saw to that.”

He shrugged. “I figured they’d be a bad memory, like me.”

“You aren’t a bad memory. Well, not entirely . . . ”

His laughter filled the room, but his smile faded when Susannah’s cell phone rang. He got up and retrieved her purse, dropping
it on the bed next to her.

“Sorry,” she said with a weak smile. They had a rule about no phones at the cabin. They’d never had a phone installed there
and used to make a big show of turning off their cell phones the minute they entered the town of Breckenridge. Susannah had
been so annoyed at him when they arrived the day before she hadn’t thought of it.

“Hello?” she said as Ryan stalked from the room.

“Susannah,” her sister said. “What the hell is going on out there?”

“Hello to you, too, Missy,” she said with a sigh.

“I just got off the phone with Henry. He’s going out of his mind. Tell me he’s not serious about you being in Breckenridge
with Ryan.”

“I wish I could.”

“Oh, that rotten son of a bitch!” The curse sounded almost comical in Missy’s lilting accent. Susannah’s sister, who lived
in Savannah, was the ultimate southern belle. “Did he really threaten to stop the divorce if you didn’t go with him?”

“Yes.”

“That’s
outrageous!
Have you talked to your lawyer?

He can’t do this.”

“He has all the power, Miss. He’s not the one who’s engaged to someone else.”

“He’s only doing this
because
you’re engaged to Henry. His rampant ego can’t handle the idea of you with another man.”

“I don’t know if it’s only that.” Susannah nibbled on the breakfast he had made for her as she talked to her sister. “He seems
different somehow. I can’t really put my finger on what it is, but he’s changed.”

“Oh, Susannah,
please.
Tell me you’re kidding me!

Ryan Sanderson will
never
change. The universe revolves around him, and it always has. You can’t have forgotten what your life with him was like, especially
the last few years.”

“I haven’t,” she said with another deep sigh. “He said he’s retiring from football.”

Melissa laughed long and hard. “And you’re
buying
that? What the hell happens to you when you’re around him? It’s like you’ve been abducted by aliens or something.”

No, just my ex-husband.
“He seems to mean it,”

Susannah said meekly, worried now that Ryan had taken her for a ride. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“Listen to me, Susannah. Are you listening?”

“Yes,” Susannah said in a small voice.

“That man is poison. Your life was all about
him.
You were like an accessory, not a wife. I can’t watch you be sucked back into that. You’ve worked so hard to break free of
him. How can you forget about that after just a few days with him? And what about Henry?”

“I know, I know,” Susannah said.

“That poor man has waited his entire adult life for you to come to your senses and get over this obsession you have with Ryan.”

“It’s not an obsession, Missy. I love him. I’ll always love him.”

“And he’ll always hurt you because he doesn’t know how to love anyone but Ryan Sanderson.”

“That’s not true,” Susannah protested. “He loves me.

He does.”

Melissa was silent, which was never a good thing.

“Say something.”

“You’re going back to him, aren’t you?”

“No! I never said that.”

“But you’re thinking about it.”

“I didn’t say that, either.”

“It’s because of what he did for Daddy, isn’t it? That’s why you won’t tell him to go screw himself the way any rational person
would. You feel obligated to him.”

“No, I don’t. There were no strings attached to what he did.”

Missy snorted. “That’s what you think.”

“He kept Daddy from going to jail and our parents from ending up homeless,” Susannah reminded her sister. “You should feel
obligated to him, too.”

“It’s very heroic to throw money at a situation, especially when you have tons of it to throw.”

“He didn’t have to do it,” Susannah said. “He did it because he loves me and cares about my family.” She wondered for a moment
why she felt so compelled to defend Ryan to her sister. It just seemed like the right thing to do.

“He’s got your head all twisted around again,” Missy said with a sigh. “I can’t bear it.”

“You’re leaping to all kinds of conclusions just because I’m spending a couple of days with him.”

“I’m not the only one who’s jumping to conclusions, Susannah. Have you spoken to your fiancé

today? Remember him? He’s reached a few conclusions of his own.”

Susannah’s stomach twisted into knots as she thought about Henry.

“Well, I’ve got to go,” Missy said. “George and I are planning to come out with Daddy and Mama for the wedding—if there
is
a wedding.”

“There
will
be,” Susannah insisted.

“If that’s what you want, then take a piece of advice from your big sister—end whatever this is with Ryan and go back to your
fiancé. Weddings tend to go better when the bride isn’t shacking up with her ex-husband.”

“Gee, thanks, Missy. I don’t know what I would’ve done without that advice.”

“You could do with less sarcasm and more common sense.”

“Don’t go blabbing all of this to Daddy and Mama.”

“I wouldn’t dream of upsetting them by telling them you’re back with
him.

”

“I’m
not
back with him,” Susannah insisted.

“Who are you trying to convince, Susannah? Me or yourself? I’ve got to go. George and I have a tee time.

Call me in a couple of days, and be careful. I love you. I don’t want to see you hurt again.”

“I love you, too. I’ll talk to you soon.”

Susannah ended the call, turned off the phone, and tossed it into her purse. She flopped back against the pillows and exhaled
a long, deep breath. Everything her sister had said was true, and Susannah knew it. But no one—not her parents, her sister,
or especially Henry—had ever understood the special bond she shared with Ryan. While other women envied her handsome, sexy,
successful, famous husband, the people closest to her had questioned the match from the very beginning.