Line of Scrimmage (6 page)

“Having two men fighting over you.”

She had hung up on him, and when he’d called back ten minutes later, she had ignored the call. At the moment, she had nothing
to say to either of them. She was sick to death of all men and their boundless egos.

“I want to ski,” Ryan moaned as Bernie drove through the busy town of Breckenridge. “I wait all year for the off season so
I can ski my ass off. But not this year.”

“I know,” Bernie agreed. “What a bummer. Hopefully, you’ll be back on the slopes in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, don’t
forget you’re supposed to be taking it easy.”

“Yes, Dad,” Ryan said with a chuckle.

When they arrived at the sprawling log cabin set into the foothills of the mountain, Bernie and Darling wouldn’t let Ryan
or Susannah carry a thing.

“Put my stuff in the guest room, please,” Susannah said to Darling.

With a nervous glance at Ryan, Darling reached for her bags.

Susannah took a deep breath before she walked into the house they had bought right after Ryan had signed with the Mavs. She
crossed the threshold and was hit with a hundred memories and feelings and scents that, all combined, stirred her to tears.
Oh, he knew what he
was doing by bringing me here.
Since Ryan had been living between the cabin and an apartment in the city since their separation, she was surprised to find
none of the usual chaos she associated with him. In fact, the place was immaculate. The sound of heavy footsteps on the front
porch had her wiping away the tears.

Darling and Bernie came in carrying her suitcases and Ryan’s ratty Mavericks duffel bag. They put the bags in the bedrooms
and rejoined Susannah and Ryan in the rustic living room.

Bernie went out to the porch and returned with an armload of wood that he carried to the stone fireplace. A few minutes later,
he had a roaring fire going. “We’re going to hit the grocery store to get you stocked up,” Bernie said. “Any special requests?”

Susannah shook her head.

“She’ll want at least a case of Diet Coke,” Ryan said.

“Plus Total Raisin Bran, bananas, French vanilla ice cream, anything that might go in a salad.” He scratched

at the stubble on his chin as he studied Susannah. “Oh yeah, tuna, Triscuits, and cottage cheese, too.”

She didn’t want to be impressed by his memory or moved by his attentiveness, but she was both.

“You got that, Bern?” Darling asked.

“I think so.”

After they left, Susannah went into the guestroom to unpack, still fuming that she was even there.

“Are you ever going to talk to me again?” Ryan asked.

She turned to find him leaning against the doorframe. “What do you want me to say? You seem to have all the answers.”

“If I had all the answers, we never would’ve landed in divorce court in the first place.”

“I want to make one thing perfectly clear, Ryan. I’m only here because you bullied me into coming.”

“Bullied is kind of a strong word. Not as bad as blackmailed, but—”

She held up her hand to stop him. “I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be with you. I want to be with Henry. So I’ll
do my time until either you decide you’ve had enough of this silly charade or until our day in court, whichever comes first.
Is there any part of that you don’t understand?”

“No, I think I got it. Even a dumb jock can understand plain English.”

Susannah hated that the hurt radiating from him bothered her.

“Since I have no plans to give up on us any time soon, do you think we could be civil to each other?”

She shrugged. “I’m not feeling very civil at the moment.”

“I love you, Susie.”

She rolled her eyes. “Save it.”

“I haven’t given you much reason to believe it, but it’s true. I love you. I’ve loved you for so long I can’t imagine ever
not
loving you. When I saw you struggling to breathe yesterday, I was reminded again that a life without you is no life at all.
So you don’t have to be civil.

You don’t even have to talk to me, but I’m going to talk to you. I hope you’ll listen.”

After he walked away, she sat on the bed and wept.

Chapter 6

BERNIE AND DARLING RETURNED FROM THE GROCERY STORE with enough food to feed ten people. They put everything away and brought
in several days’ worth of firewood from the pile outside. The four of them shared a quiet lunch during which the tension between
Ryan and Susannah was palpable.

To fill the awkward silences, Bernie and Darling talked about their upcoming trip to the White House where the president would
welcome the Super Bowl champions.

“Doesn’t that usually happen later?” Susannah asked.

“This president is a
huge
Mavs fan,” Darling explained. “He cleared his schedule so he could see us before we scatter for the off-season.”

As they prepared to return to Denver, Bernie asked for a moment alone with Susannah.

She tugged on her coat and went out to the porch with him.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“I will be.”

Bernie glanced at Ryan through the window. “He’s my best friend, and I love him like a brother.” Bernie brought his eyes back
to Susannah. “But I love you, too. If you don’t want to be here with him, just say the word, and I’ll take you home.”

“He seems quite determined to play out this last-minute rescue scenario,” Susannah said with a sigh. “I’m not going back to
him. He’s going to need you when that finally sinks in.”

“I know he can be a thick-headed idiot at times—hell, so can I. Just ask Mary Jane. But he’s one of the good guys, Susie.
I’d trust him with my life, with my kids’ lives. And if there’s anything about him I’m sure of it’s that he loves you. You
guys had a tough break, but that doesn’t mean—”

Desperate to stop the direction the conversation was taking, she went up on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “I appreciate what
you’re trying to do, Bern. I really do. Thank you for caring, but I’m going to stay and play it out. He seems to need the
closure.”

“What about what you need?”

Her face lifted into an ironic smile. “It’s never really been about what I need, has it?”

“If you change your mind and want to go home, call me, and I’ll come get you. Day or night. If I’m in Washington, I’ll send
someone else.”

“Thank you.”

The door opened, and Ryan came out with Darling.

“Ready?” Darling asked Bernie.

Bernie nodded, and both men hugged Susannah.

“Give the president my regards,” Ryan said.

“We’ll miss you, man,” Darling said. “Are you sure you can’t come?”

“I’ve been there before. And besides,” he added with a meaningful look at Susannah, “I’ve got more important things to do
right now.”

With her stomach in a knot, Susannah waved to their friends as they drove down the long road that led back to town. She wanted
to race after them but couldn’t seem to make herself move as she was filled with anxiety over how completely alone she was
with Ryan.

“Do you remember the first time we were here?” he asked. “We’d never even seen the Rocky Mountains, but there was just something
about this place we loved from the first minute we saw it, remember? After growing up in Florida and Texas, we had nothing
to compare it to, did we? The mountains and the trees and the snow. Air so fresh and cold it almost hurts to breathe. For
the first time in my life I had money, but we were hesitant to make such a big impulse purchase. Wasn’t that what you called
it? An impulse purchase?”

Susannah kept her back to him as a defense against the long-buried memories he was resurrecting.

“We never regretted it, though, did we? What would we have done without this place to hide out in during those crazy first
few years with the Mavs? I know you love the McMansion in the city, but this is our home, Susie. This is where we belong.
I know you feel it, too.”

She turned around and was careful not to look at him or get too close to his sore ribs as she brushed past him on her way
into the house. Once inside, she went to the guest room and closed the door.

Susannah floated between sleep and wakefulness. Music. A guitar and singing. Ryan. Her eyes fluttered open, and she lay still
to listen, feeling out of sorts as she awoke in the strange room.
Oh,
she sighed.
Not that
song . . . That’s not playing fair, Ry.
Rod Stewart’s “You’re in My Heart,” the song they had danced to at their wedding. Ryan’s voice was deep, and his guitar playing
had improved dramatically since she last heard him play. About three years ago, he’d decided to take up the guitar. Like everything
else he tackled, he had mastered it in no time.

Susannah was dismayed to realize his song was having the desired effect. Her heart hurt when she remembered their wedding,
just two weeks after Ryan graduated from Florida and two weeks before he was due to report to the Mavs’ rookie camp. She had
been so excited, so in love, and so filled with hope for their future.
That was a long time ago,
she reminded herself.
And everything is different now.

The door opened. “Hey,” he whispered. “Are you awake?”

The hallway light made a silhouette of his big frame. “Yes.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Sort of.”

“I made some dinner.”

“You
did?

”

He chuckled. “Don’t get too excited. It’s just steak and a salad.”

“You did this all by yourself?”

“Very funny. I’ve been living alone for a while now. I had to conquer the kitchen.”

“An interesting development.”

“There’ve been a few of them. I’d like to tell you about them if you’ll let me.”

Susannah lay there for a moment longer, attempting to marshal the fortitude it took just to be in the same room with him.
Finally, she sat up. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Okay.” He started to walk away but turned back. “I’m glad you’re here, Susie. This place wasn’t the same without you.”

After he was gone, she sat on the edge of the bed for a long time before she got up and went into the bathroom. When she ventured
into the living room, she felt like a visitor in someone else’s home even though everything was just as she had left it. As
she took in the cozy country-style living room, the stone fireplace that occupied one whole wall, and the high ceiling with
the wood beams, she became aware of just how much she missed being there and how much she missed Ryan, too. Unnerved by the
realization, she folded the Aztec blanket that had been left in a pile on the sofa, evidence he had napped, too. The man who
never napped sacked out often at the cabin—the one place where he managed to completely relax.

Wearing a red flannel shirt with old jeans, Ryan came in from the deck with a plate in his hand. “Ready to eat?”

Susannah thought, as she always did, that nothing about his appearance gave him away as the multimillionaire that he was.
Despite all his success, in many ways he was still the same boy he’d been when he picked her out of the crowd in a Gainesville
restaurant more than eleven years ago.

“What can I do?” she asked.

“Not a thing.” He held a chair for her at the dining room table. When she was settled, he lit the candles and poured her a
glass of red wine.

Her stomach twisted with nerves. “Ryan, this is all really nice and everything, but . . . ”

He reached for her hand. “It’s just dinner. We always had candles and wine, didn’t we?” “Yes, I guess we did.” “Then don’t
sweat it.” He squeezed her hand and then released it so he could serve the salad. After they had eaten in silence for several
minutes, she said, “This is very good. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He refilled her wine glass. “Can I ask you something?”

“Can I stop you?”

He flashed the smile that had made him a superstar with the women of Denver—and beyond. “Why’d you TiVo the Super Bowl?”

Susannah froze. “I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

He laughed. “How do you accidentally record the Super Bowl?”

“It was probably set from when you lived there.”

He shook his head. “No,” he said softly.

Susannah got busy finishing her dinner.

“Did you record it because I was playing in the game?”

She looked up to find him watching her intently and knew there was no point in trying to evade him. He’d see right through
her, just as he always had. “Yes.”

His eyes lit up with pleasure and what might have been hope. “Why?”

“I had plans with Henry that night, and I thought I might want to watch it later.”

“Because I’ve made such a football fan out of you?”

he asked with a sad smile.

“Something like that.”

“Did you watch it?”

“No.” She took a long drink of her wine. “But I knew you had won.”

“Did you know I was hurt?”

She nodded. “I didn’t know it was so bad,” she said, gesturing to his battered face. “I didn’t know that.”

“That’s why you didn’t watch the game, though, isn’t it? Because you heard I got hurt. You still can’t bear to see that, can
you, baby?”

“Stop it, Ryan,” she whispered, her eyes filling despite her desire to remain aloof.

He reached for her hand. “You always took it so hard when I got hurt. I hated that.”

Pulling her hand free, she cried, “Is that so wrong?

That I don’t like seeing the man I I—” Appalled and shocked by what she’d almost said, Susannah’s hand flew up to cover her
mouth.

“The man you what? The man you love? Is that what you were going to say?”

Desperate to escape him, she got up from the table and went outside to the deck. In the distance she could see the twinkling
lights in the town of Breckenridge and the well-lit night ski runs on the mountain. Shivering violently, she swatted at the
tears that chilled her face.

Ryan stepped up behind her and wrapped a blanket and his arms around her.

“I’m done, Suze.”

“With what? Trying to get me back?”

“No, with football. I’m retiring.”

She snorted with laughter. “Yeah, right. Nice one, Ry.

You’re really pulling out all the stops here, aren’t you?”

He turned her so she faced him. “I’m not kidding. As soon as the team gets back from Washington, I’m meeting with Duke and
Chet,” he said, referring to his coach and the team’s owner.

“You won’t do it.”

“I’m
going
to do it. I have three Super Bowl rings, a likely spot in the Hall of Fame, a Heisman Trophy, and more money than I can spend
in a lifetime. I’ve got nothing left to prove to myself or anyone else. I want to go out while I’m still on top and while
my body still has some life left in it.”

Susannah stared at him like she had never seen him before.

“I’m serious, Susie.” He held her close to him, and she let him because she was freezing. “So if you were to stay with me,
you wouldn’t have to live in fear of the man you love being hurt anymore.”

She pushed him away but was careful to avoid his broken ribs. “This doesn’t change anything.”

He took hold of her chin and forced her to look at him.

“It changes
everything.
There’s another reason I’m retiring, and it’s far more important than all the others.”

She tried to look away from him, but he wouldn’t let her.

“I want to spend as much time as I can with my wife.

I want us to have a family.”

Susannah closed her eyes against the pain and shook her head. Her eyes flew open when his cold lips landed on hers. Imprisoned
by his strong arms and the heavy blanket, Susannah was afraid she’d hurt him if she struggled.

His lips warmed as they moved over hers. He tipped his head to delve deeper, his tongue gentle but insistent.

When she recovered her senses, she discovered his shirt was bunched into her hands. Her mouth was open, her tongue wrapped
around his, and there was no denying that she was kissing him back.

“
Jesus,
” he gasped when he came up for air. His breath came out as little puffs in the cold. “Susie . . . ” He captured her mouth
again, but this time there was nothing gentle about it.

She pushed at his chest. “Stop. Ryan.
Stop.
I don’t want this.”

“You could’ve fooled me,” he whispered as he trailed hot kisses along her jaw and then rolled her earlobe between his teeth.

“
Please,
” she moaned. “I don’t want to hurt you by fighting you, but if you don’t let me go right now, I’m going to hurt you.”

He stopped what he was doing to her ear and stepped back from her. “I’m sorry,” he said as he dragged his hands through his
mop of hair. “I can’t help it. I want you so much, Susie. All I can think about is how it was between us when it was good—really,
really good.” With his hands now on her shoulders, he leaned his forehead against hers. “Before everything . . . happened.
I know you remember. You can’t convince me you don’t. I want us to find our way back to the good stuff. Can’t we do that?
Can’t we please try?”

She trembled. Whether it was from the cold or the yearning she heard in his voice she couldn’t have said.

He put his arm around her and led her inside, urging her down in front of the fireplace. After he had tossed

several more logs onto the smoldering flame, he lowered himself down next to her, grunting when he made contact with the floor.

“Are you hurting?” she asked.

“Not as bad as yesterday.”

She could tell she surprised him when she reached for his hand. “I want you to know I heard everything you said out there.
And before, too.”

“I meant it. All of it.”

“I know.”

His brown eyes widened. “You do? You believe me?”

She nodded.

He looked like he could weep as he reached for her.

“It’s going to be different this time, Susie. I promise.

You’re going to come first.”

She gently disentangled herself from his embrace.

“I’ve realized something in the last few days.”

“What, baby?” he asked, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

“I love you, Ryan. I do.”

His smile lit up his face.

“I was crazy to think that would end just because we weren’t together anymore.” She grasped his hands. “But too much has happened
for us to get back what we had.”