Line of Fire (8 page)

Christian nodded. “I can’t do hands and knees.”

“I know. Roll over. Stay flat.”

Christian raised an eyebrow, smiled and carefully flipped over. Hayden reached for the lube and the condoms that had been put back on the nightstand and prepared his lover. He’d seen the position often enough, but he’d never tried it out. At least not as the top. Once he was certain Christian had been opened enough, he tore open a condom packet, rolled it on and lubed himself up. Hayden pushed himself slowly into the tight hole, going inch by inch, running his fingers along Christian’s bare skin.

“So tight,” Hayden said once he was fully seated. “You feel so good.”

Christian’s response was muffled by the pillow even as he pushed back.

Hayden braced himself on his hands as pulled almost all the way out and pushed back in.

“Harder. Faster,” Christian stammered. “More.”

Hayden kissed and nibbled along Christian’s back and neck as he slammed in and out of Christian’s ass, setting a punishing rhythm. Pleasure-pain raced through Hayden’s body and down his spine as he sped toward orgasm and bliss. His balls drew up, and he knew he was close. From experience, he knew the friction from the cotton sheets against Christian’s hard cock would cause it to be nearly ready to explode. The nerves in the other man’s body tingling and on edge. If Hayden had done it right, if they were both lucky enough, Christian would be in sensation overload.

“Come for me. Come with me,” Hayden said, nibbling on Christian’s ear before slamming back into him.

Christian’s back arched. “Harder! Yes! More!”

The muscles in Christian’s ass tightened around him, as his lover stiffened, his hips pushing into the mattress. Christian screamed his name. Hayden’s orgasm ripped through him, leaving exposed nerve endings that reveled in the pleasure he wrapped around himself. Collapsing onto Christian’s back, he paused for several moments before rolling off his lover.

Reluctantly, Hayden got up, disposed of the used condom and cleaned them both up. Crawling back into bed, he wrapped his arms around his lover and leaned his head against the exposed flesh. There were things the couple needed to discuss, but they could and would discuss it later. If their relationship had a chance in hell of getting through all of the crap they faced as SEALs, they were going to have to talk. He knew he was channeling his mother or sister or maybe every freaking woman since the beginning of time, but his gut and head, and maybe even his heart, knew whom it wanted. Christian Williams. To keep. Forever.

Late Saturday afternoon, Hayden leaned against the counter as Christian cut chicken, onions, and peppers before taking out an array of spices, lining up all of the ingredients next to a wok. They’d spent most of the morning in bed going through more of Christian’s condoms. Monday would come way too early. Again. Hayden blew out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. He hated that he couldn’t have a completely public relationship with Christian. The issues with Seiboweitz aside, on the off chance that they didn’t work out together, it had the potential to tear the team apart in a way no other relationship did. Relationships between two military personnel were hard enough, but between two SEALs. That was something untried. “Will you grab me a Coke out of the fridge?” Christian said leaning over and kissing him.

“You know people will start talking if we’re seen too often together,” Hayden said retrieving the bottle of pop and grabbing one for himself.

“Babe, they’re going to talk about everyone you ever spend time with. Worse gossips ever.”

“Yeah well, it’s not like we can talk about politics, religion, or a number of other issues. We all either have differing views or all the same. And some things shouldn’t be discussed at work.”

“True.” Christian drizzled some oil into the wok and turned towards him. “I don’t have a problem being seen with you. I’m not ashamed of being gay.”

“Are you sure about that?” Hayden asked. “You say you aren’t afraid to be seen with me, but yet, you pretty much ignore me outside of your house, my house, or the fucking club.”

“I’m not the first, last, or only person who isn’t out at work. You weren’t either.”

“Actually, my teammates knew before Seiboweitz ever said anything,” Hayden growled. “But I—”

“Hayden, I never thought about coming out while I was in the military before. I need to work through this on my own and in my own way. I want to see you, to date you. To the rest of the guys, we’ll just be hanging out, but we’ll know the difference. The truth.” Christian turned away from the stove and pulled him into his arms. “We’ll figure it out. I’ll figure it out. Right now, I’m not sure what’s going on between us.”

“What
is
going on between us?” Hayden asked. He’d been asking the same question himself. They’d known each other for a few years with no yearning, need, or desire making itself known. And now after one weekend and a mission, Hayden was looking at more. He knew his feelings about were unlike anything he’d had with a man before. He just wasn’t sure what it meant.

“To be honest, I won’t come out for a fuck-buddy.”

Hayden’s body tensed, and he pushed Christian away. The man only saw them as fuck-buddies? Thoughts raced through his head. He wasn’t even worthy of boyfriend status. At least he could get out before he got in to deep and had ended up in love with Christian.

“Stop, I said a
fuck-buddy
.”

“Yeah, I heard you.”

“Then let me finish,” Christian said. “I don’t consider you a fuck-buddy. I’m not in the habit of spending entire weekends and going on real dates with that kind of man. I am interested in you, in getting to know you more.”

“Boyfriends?” Hayden asked, feeling the better portion of his anger slip away.

Christian took a deep breath and pulled him back into his arms, hugging him tight. “Yes. But I’m not the sharing type. Not with boyfriends.”

“Exclusive?”

Christian nodded. “Yes. I may not be ready to make an ever-lasting commitment, but I know I want to see you. Often.”

Hayden pulled back slightly. “I’d like that.” With one hand on Christian’s back and one on his neck, Hayden plundered his lover’s mouth.

Chapter Seven

Hayden took a deep breath and grabbed his gear from the seat beside him. It had been harder than he’d thought it would be to stay away from Christian. They’d been ‘dating’ almost two months. Christian’s injury had healed swiftly and without any complications, and he’d been cleared to return to duty. At first, Hayden had been thrilled, but in order not to give Christian away he couldn’t touch his boyfriend or even look at him more than was absolutely necessary. They had yet to go out on what could be considered a real date. They met at Hell’s Dune, had a beer and played a game of pool before going back to either his house or Christian’s. The routine was getting old and more and more he felt like a dirty secret. Something he was coming to resent. Christian’s reasons had been valid, but the promise of real dates had gone unfulfilled.

“You look like you lost your best friend,” Brian said walking up to him outside the weapons range.

“Not hardly, you’re standing right here,” Hayden laughed, shaking his head.

“Yeah, but something’s bothering you.”

Hayden shrugged, unwilling to lie to Brian, but not willing to go into details about his relationship with Christian.

“I assume this is about the toy,” Brian said leaning against Hayden’s truck.

“It’s a plausible assumption.”

“So, what’s the problem? Things bad in bed?”

“No, and I’m so not going to talk to you about my sex life,” Hayden answered.

“Okay, so if it’s not in bed it must be the R part.”

“The what part?” Hayden asked, looking at his watch.

“The relationship part. You know the stuff most men hate talking about. The stuff beyond dating.”

“Don’t get me started on dating,” Hayden ground out slamming open the back of his vehicle and retrieving his weapons.

“He—you two haven’t been on a date yet?”

“No.”

“Dinner? Movie? Sex on the beach?”

“Nope, none of the above or any of things you’ve done outside the bedroom with Alexa.”

“I’m planning on taking her to dinner and movie tonight. There’s some new movie out with Oceane Phillips and Dante Van Der Hoff in it. Guns. Explosions. Implied sex. Gratuitous partial nudity on both parts. Why don’t you two join us? You two can neck in the crowded, pitch black theater.”

“I don’t know. I can ask,” Hayden replied. A double date. It might take the pressure off Christian. He hoped. Hayden set his gear at his feet and pulled out his cell phone, sending a text message to his boyfriend. Sliding his phone back into his pocket, he grabbed his gear and followed Brian into the range. A day at the range was what he needed today.

“So, what did he say?” Brian asked as they stowed their gear, before heading to the mess hall for lunch before returning to the range.

Hayden shrugged. “Haven’t looked.” He knew Christian had responded. He’d felt the vibration while he’d been lying in the dirt waiting to shoot the target. It was a toss up whether or not he wanted to know what Christian’s answer would be.

“Well, find out. Alexa was fine with it.”

Locking his stuff in the vehicle, he pulled out his phone and checked his messages. Christian’s response cut him to the core. Not only no, but hell no and how dare he go behind his back and tell anyone who he was dating. “He said no. Maybe another time,” Hayden said flatly. There would be no other time. Christian wasn’t interested in dating him. He wanted a fuck-buddy. Someone said who would keep his secret. He’d keep Christian’s secret, but he was done being strung along.

Brian snatched the phone from his hands before he could shove it into his pocket. Brian’s face turned redder the more he read, before finally handing the phone back to Hayden. “Fuck him and the horse he rode in on. Fucktard.”

Hayden smiled and shook his head at the irony. Brian was angry for him. Hayden was hurt, but he couldn’t bring himself to be at all surprised. “Let it go man, it’s not worth it,” Hayden said, walking toward the small dining facility, a short seven-minute walk from the range.

“You’re not upset?”

“I can’t let it get to me. Not here. Not now. This isn’t a major issue with a life partner. It’s just a boyfriend. You know as well as I do that my every action and reaction is going to be watched and judged. To see if I can still do my job. To see if I’m going to crack or break, because heaven for-fucking-bid I’m gay.”

“Dude—”

“It’s all good. I’ve spent most of my life proving I’m just as good as any other man. This is no different.”

“It should be. You shouldn’t have to continue to prove anything.”

“Should and is are two very different things,” Hayden replied. “Now, can we talk about something beside my love life? Please. Shit, we can even talk about yours.”

“Wait, you said boyfriend,” Brian said dropping his voice. “As in exclusive?”

Hayden nodded. “Different subject.”

The discussion turned to the upcoming pool tournament. Closing the distance to the mess hall, the pair was met by several others. Hayden’s thoughts turned to Christian, wondering what his boyfriend or really his soon-to-be ex-boyfriend was doing. He’d come to the decision that while he was most likely going to break up with Christian, the other man had a right to explain things first.

“I’ll join you guys in a minute,” Brian said stopping outside the off-white building.

Hayden nodded and walked inside after reminding his friend that they didn’t have a whole lot of time to eat and get back. Several minutes after Brian joined the group, Hayden’s phone vibrated. Reaching for it, he hesitated before looking at the incoming messages. The simple text message had him giving his best friend a questioning look. Brian shrugged and started talking about the standings of several major league baseball teams. Hayden stared down at his phone.

I’m sorry. Let’s go out with your friends.

After asking if Christian was certain, he slid the phone back into his pocket, half-listening to the conversation as he tried to figure out the reason behind his lover’s change of mind. Even after they’d return to the range, he still didn’t have an answer. He’d even asked Brian if he’d said something to Christian, but Brian had only asked on what topic and what day. At least he didn’t have a big worry about what to wear that night. Even if it was their first official date, they’d been together often enough it wasn’t as though he needed to impress his boyfriend. There was also the question of their future together beyond tonight.

* * * *

Christian pulled into the parking lot of Hayden’s townhouse and took in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. Rubbing his palms on his jeans, he could still feel the sting of Brian O’Shaunessy’s words that afternoon. He’d let the first call go to voicemail, but a text calling him a coward for not picking up had him answering the phone the next time it rang.