Lily White Lies (36 page)

“What about after your father’s were gone?  Why didn’t you end the feud then?”

“By then it was natural.  It’s what people expected.”  Returning to his seat, he looked me over carefully, and said, “Sugar, my family has always been more important to me than anything else in the world.  That ancient feud was just days gone by and didn’t mean a thing.”

“Gramp,” looking past the pain in his eyes, I said, “I know most of what happened but I’d like to hear the whole story from you.”

With a short nod, he replied, “I suppose I owe you that.”

I gave him the time he needed to organize his thoughts.  I had waited too long to know what part he played in Wesley Ellis’s death and now that the time had arrived, I was extremely nervous.

“Sugar, your grandmother took Donny’s death real hard, so hard that she made lifelong friends with the bottle.  In the beginning I think she was hoping to find a different ending at the bottom of each one...”  With hesitation and a slight shake of his head, he continued, “Then after awhile, I think she was hoping to forget the ending all together.  Between her age, the drink and having to care for Karen, she didn’t have it in her to raise you up, too, especially with your injuries.”

“What did you do?”

He shook his head.

“Late one night, I received a call from Joker.  He asked me if I could come to Willoughby Manor right away and tell no one where I was going.  I did.  When I got there, Joker was sitting in the gazebo with Gayle.  She was having one of her episodes.”

He walked over to the window and turned his back toward me before continuing.

“I’d never seen Joker like he was that night.  I’d never seen him cry.  He had his arms wrapped around Gayle and she was sitting there as if she didn’t know whom she was.  She had gotten pretty bad by that time.  He said he had no one else to call and it took him awhile before he told me what was wrong.  He had to stop a few times in between, but by the time he was done, I knew that Gayle had killed Wesley.”

I wiped underneath each eye and swallowed hard.

“Joker loved Gayle more than anything in the world...”  Turning his head away, he quietly said, “and she loved him.  It about broke my heart to see the pain they were going through.”

“He asked you to take the blame?”

“Joker would never have asked me to do something like that.”  Rubbing his palms together, he stated, “It was my idea.”

I asked in amazement, “But why?  Twenty years is a long time to sit in prison for a lost love.”

Seemingly baffled by what I said, he asked, “Is that what you think...  I went to prison because of the way I felt about Gayle?”

I shrugged as my tears spilled over the edge of my lashes.

“Sugar, I loved Gayle once, a very long time ago.  But your grandmother is my world and has been since the day I met her.  My feelings for Gayle had nothing to do with it.”

Pleading in my voice, I begged, “Then why?  Why did you leave us?”

“This ain’t easy to understand, but I left
for
you, all of you.”

I lowered my head into my hands and let my tears flow freely.  He moved to the seat closest to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

“I told you, Sugar, your grandmother didn’t have it in her to raise you up and take care of Karen.  Even if she could have managed until you grew up and moved on, Karen’s condition was staring at her for the rest of her life.”

Pushing my shoulders back to meet his gaze, he said, “I confessed to killing Wesley to give Joker whatever good time Gayle had left, and in return, he put your mother in Cherry Hall and paid the bills here while I was away.  My little girl has a good home for the rest of her life and your grandmother didn’t have to worry about money anymore.  Trying to keep up with Karen’s bills and your hospital bills after the accident had us belly up in a financial grave and that was my way out.

So, I took the gun home with me that night, Joker called the police claiming to have evidence of my guilt, they searched the house and found the gun...  the rest is history.”

“That was extreme, there had to be another way.”

“Unfortunately, there wasn’t.  I realized twenty years was a long time but if my family would be taken care of, it was worth it to me.”  His face softening, he said, “Joker and I had sworn that with the exception of our wives, we would never tell another living soul about our arrangement.  I should have known that he’d be the one to tell.”

“He wasn’t.”

He seemed puzzled.

“I asked him if you killed his son and he told me that if he had to answer, he’d tell me you did kill Wesley, but he said he wouldn’t give me an answer.”  Reaching into my purse, I said,  “He gave this to me and said that all the answers I needed were in here.  It’s Gayle’s journal.”

He looked at it and then quickly looked away.

“Gramp, it’s okay.”  Forcing him to look at me, I said, “She did love you.”

“No, she always loved Joker, I just keep telling myself otherwise.”

“Gramp, most of the journal is about you and Joker.  She didn’t see Joker the way most people seem to see him.  In one entry, she wrote that Joker was every breath she took.  She wrote about you, too.  She said you would always hold a special place in her heart.  It seems that even in her deteriorating state, she never forgot how much you both meant to her.”

Although he looked away, I could see the pride beaming from his eyes and I was certain that he held his chest out ever so slightly.

“Sugar, none of this should have been kept from you but I’m glad you know now.”  Giving me a side-glance, he asked, “When you went to see Joker, did he have anything else to say about me?”

I laughed.  “Well he said you used to lie about how many fish you caught...”

“That old bird… he’s just mad that he could never catch nothing but poison ivy.  He’d whine like a baby if I didn’t let him beat me at everything.”

I leaned over and wrapped my arms around him.  “Gramp, I’m sorry for everything but if things hadn’t happened the way they did, I may never have seen just what an admirable man you are.  I’m proud to call you my grandfather.”

His arms tightened around me.

“So your grandmother tells me you’ve found quite a fine young man in that Ellis boy.”

Leaning back in my chair, I replied, “Yes, I have.  Gramp, I’d like for you to meet him and...”

I let my words trail off, uncertain whether I wanted to continue.

“After the afternoon we’ve had, one more ‘and’ won’t hurt nothing,” he said with a laugh.

“And I’d like to invite Joker, too.”

He feigned anger, and said, “Oh hell, Sugar, if it’s that important to you but don’t expect me to be happy about it.”

“Just knowing you’ll give it a try is enough for me.”  I ran a finger up and down my glass.  “Again Gramp, thank you, I know it wasn’t easy.”

Giving my head an affectionate rub, he joked, “Go ahead, get out of here and find your fellow.  Your grandmother probably fell asleep on the bed, I better get her before she wakes or she’ll think I forgot about her.”

With a kiss and a hug, I was on my way back to the city feeling lighter in spirit than I had felt in a very long time.  I thought about everything I had learned and the meaning of a lily white lie became clear. 

The feud between the families had ended with my grandfather’s father.  Out of respect for their fathers’, Gramp and Joker went through the motions of hatred, but never lost sight of the friendship they had formed as young boys.  Every lie told since that time was told with the intention of protecting someone.  Gramp, Gram, Joker and even Gayle lived with their secrets and lies rather than hurt the people they loved.  My eyes filled just thinking about the bond they shared from a distance.

I drove to Upper Darby anxious to get the families together, eager to see Con and ready to begin our future.

Thirty

...As the door swung open, each man stood tall, eyes fixed on the other.  I held my breath until Gramp began to speak...

I felt a pang of disappointment when I returned home and there was no message from Con waiting, so I assumed he was still in the air and unable to be reached. 

“C’mon, please ring... please, please, pl-e-a-s-e ring,” I begged.

While I waited for the phone to ring, I stared at it, talked to it and even carried it around the apartment with me as if sheer will would cause it to happen.

I nearly dropped the phone when the knock on the door startled me out of my thoughts.  The only thing on my mind was sharing my great day with Con and I saw an unexpected visitor as an intrusion.  I was going to ignore the knock when it came a second time but as it persisted, I finally answered the door, even if it was a little begrudgingly.

As the door swung open, my mouth was already open and ready to fire my best phony excuse at whoever wanted a piece of my time, but instead, I froze until the corners of my mouth began to turn up.

Holding out the phone, I said, “You were going to call but this is even better.”

He winked as he brushed past me.  Following the cord from the base of the phone, he held it up when he reached the end.

“I had a feeling,” he said with a smile.

Thinking back, I remembered unplugging it to avoid interruptions.  “I didn't want to be disturbed while I read,” I said apologetically.

I watched silently, as he picked up my keys and my purse and took the phone from my hands, setting it in its base, all the while giving me playful side-glances.  Taking hold of my hand, he began to lead me out the door.

“Wait, where are we going?”

He stopped in front of the door and turned to face me.  “I thought we’d go for breakfast.”

“But its six o’clock in the evening, I thought we’d...”

Following his seductive smile up and down as he nodded, passion lit his eyes and suddenly, I realized what he had implied.  A jolt of electricity raced through my body causing an outward tremble.

Taking one-step backward, I whispered, “I have to get clothes.”

He said, “You won’t be needing them,” in a voice laced in desire. 

Cradling my head in his hands, we spent the next several minutes sharing a kiss that could have melted the candles on my coffee table.  When he finally released me, he turned and led me through the door, closing it behind us.

I had always thought that spontaneity was as necessary to lovemaking as candlelight was to a romantic dinner.  I thought that once it became routine or when it had to be planned ahead of time to fit into a busy schedule, it took the romance out of it and left nothing but the act itself.  Knowing what Con had in mind had removed the element of surprise but added to the allure, knowing that tonight, a fantasy that had played out in my head dozens of times since our first encounter at Sal’s, would finally become a reality.

Con hadn’t revealed our destination, but as soon as he headed north out of the city, I knew where he was taking me.

“So how did things go with your grandfather today?”

As much as I looked forward to sharing that news with him earlier, other things had taken precedence and I felt the details of my visit could wait.

“Great.  Where are we going?”

“For a ride.  Does this mean he’ll talk to me the next time I go there with you?”

I wondered how long he thought he could deliberately avoid answering my questions.  Removing my seat belt, I turned to face him.  Propping myself up on my knees, I replied, “I’m sure he will.  How much longer before we get there?”  I lightly grazed his earlobe with my teeth.

He inhaled a deep breath, and answered, “Not long.  What are you doing?”

“Mm...  I missed you today.  Have I ever been there before?”

Burying my fingers in his hair, I pressed myself into him.  He squirmed slightly in his seat and tipped his head back a little.  Careful not to block his view, I continued to kiss the right side of his face and neck and leaned into him again when I felt his breaths quicken.

“Um... no.  You’re teasing,” he said in a husky voice.

Running my hand across the front of his jeans and applying slight pressure at the zipper, I whispered, “So are you,” as his body stiffened briefly.

My intention was only to tease, but I felt the car weave as I nibbled on his earlobe and thought that if I didn’t back off and let him drive in peace, teasing might be as far as we ever got.  I sank into the seat and laid my head into his chest.

“And I was enjoying that.”

“I didn’t realize how much it interfered with your driving.  We’ll have plenty of time for that later.”

“You call eighty miles an hour interference?”

I looked up to him with eyes open wide.  “I was referring to riding the shoulders of the road, now I’m really glad I stopped.”

He laughed and gave my shoulders a squeeze before his voice took on a more serious tone.  “By your good mood, I’m assuming things went well with your grandfather.”