Lights and Shadows (Oregon In Love) (18 page)

Clenching his jaw, he added another entry to his list of
reasons he and Julia had no hope of a future together.

***

Spencer walked Julia out to her car as the sun set in a
gaudy display of pink and orange. The light wind ruffled his blond
hair as he surveyed her.

“
You were great today. The senior faculty members were
very impressed.”

Julia smiled. “I hope so. Their cooperation is
essential to the success of the assignment.”

“
You had them eating out of your hand,” he said with
a grin.

“
That remains to be seen. We’ll see how enthused
they are when I start monitoring classrooms.”

Spencer leaned against the side of her car. “Just woo
them with your charm. It’ll work every time.”

Julia laughed softly and got inside her car. She rolled
down her window and said, “See you in the morning.”

On the way home, she felt the adrenaline that had
sustained her through the day begin to fade. In its place a powerful
headache began, growing in strength with each passing mile.

By the time she made it back to the cottage, the pain
was nearly debilitating. She gulped down several Tylenol and
ruthlessly attempted to ignore the insistent throbbing.

After a quick hello at the main house, she opened the
laptop and typed in the day’s information. All in all it had been
an excellent start. She’d achieved every goal, and the official
assignment had commenced as smoothly as she could’ve wished.

Summoning her last shred of energy, Julia changed out of
her clothes and fell into bed, asleep as soon as she hit the pillow.

Chapter Nineteen

Days flew by and turned into weeks as Julia aimed to
make this project her most successful yet. Meetings of planning,
strategy, and updates along with fact-finding and interviews,
consumed her time as the fall term began full swing.

She rarely saw Marc during the day except in passing and
professional constraints kept them from sharing anything other than a
look or guarded ‘hello’. Julia sensed Marc distancing himself
from her and that knowledge tore at her heart. There were few
evenings or weekends she was able to spend with him. If she wasn’t
in a late meeting, she was catching up on data entry. By the time she
closed her laptop, it was usually after nine o’clock and she was
utterly exhausted.

Of the few times she popped over at Marc’s place, he
either wasn’t home or their time together seemed strained. In
wistful moments, she’d remember the time they spent together just a
month ago. It felt like years. She fought the slow grief that Marc
was becoming more peripheral with the knowledge that people were
depending on her and she couldn’t let them down.

Everyday she arrived in her tiny cubicle, she’d look
at the photograph he’d given her, sustaining her hope that somehow
they’d work things out.

When Julia finished her data entry on the following
Friday, she was pleasantly surprised to find it was only after
five-thirty. Seized with a desire to get out of the office, she had a
quick talk with Spencer and left the college while it was still
light.

Julia headed for Marc’s apartment, praying he’d be
there. She needed to see him—needed to feel his arms around her.
While driving, she rubbed her head with one hand. Tylenol just wasn’t
cutting it these days.
Maybe Marc will be my cure
.

Spying his truck along the curb near his building made
some of the tension drain from her body. She hurried up the stairs
and knocked, growing impatient when he didn’t answer right away.
Finally his door swung open. Marc appeared looking as tired as she
felt. She noticed him hesitate before he pulled her inside and
crushed her in his embrace, kissing her for several long and
wonderful minutes. Julia could barely stand by the time he eased his
hold. She held onto him for support and gave him a lopsided grin.
“Wow.”

Marc smiled down at her, looking equally dazed. He
caught a strand of her hair and wound it around his finger. “Is
this just a quick hello?”

The question sounded casual, but Julia sensed the
tension in his body. “I’m free for the evening if you’ll have
me.”

He kissed her again. “Have you eaten?”

Julia smiled and shook her head.

Marc took her hand and tugged her into the kitchen.
“Just before you came I was standing here, hoping for some
inspiration.”

She inspected the contents of his cupboards and small
refrigerator. She came up with some rice, chicken, and vegetables.
Together they prepared a simple meal. Julia bemoaned the fact Marc
had little seasonings beside salt and pepper.

“
How do you live without curry?” she asked with a
teasing look, for the moment supremely happy.

“
I don’t live without it. I go down to the corner
restaurant and have curried rice all the time.”

“
You know it’s available at a grocery store, don’t
you?”

Marc shrugged.

“
They have garlic and onions there, too.”

“
Is that a fact? I guess you never know what they’ll
come up with next.”

Julia reached out to tickle him in the ribs but he
caught her wrist and kissed her instead. What started as a quick peck
on the lips suddenly turned into something more compelling. By the
time they remembered their food, it was cold.

After a reheated dinner, Julia gathered up the dishes
and filled the sink with hot soapy water. Marc came up behind her and
wrapped his arms around her waist. He rested his chin on her head.
“Those can wait.”

“
They’ll only take a minute, especially if you help
me.”

“
Why would I want to do dishes when I have a beautiful
woman in my arms?”

Forgetting the dishes, Julia turned and looked up at
him, her heart pounding out a hopeful rhythm. When he lowered his
head to hers, she met his lips without hesitation.

An electronic beeping startled the silence. She froze,
disappointment burgeoning.

“
What’s that?” Marc asked with reluctance.

Julia gently disentangled herself from his arms and
reached for her purse on the counter. “My phone.” Keeping her
eyes lowered, she checked the number on the BlackBerry and hit the
call button. “Hey, Spencer. It’s me.”

After a moment, she said, “No, it’s okay.” She
glanced at Marc and sighed. “It would be better if you showed me in
person. I’m still in town so I’ll swing back by. No, no problem.
Bye.”

Julia pressed a button on her phone and tossed it back
into her purse. “I need to go.”

“
I understand.”

Marc’s voiced lacked enthusiasm. She doubted he did
understand. Tucking a stray wisp of hair behind her ear, she smiled.
“I’m sorry.”

He leaned over and kissed her softly, making her feel
worse than ever. Julia gathered her things, thanked him for dinner
and left the apartment. In her car, she did her best to repair her
hair and makeup before leaving. Her hands shook as she pulled out
onto the road.
I don’t want to leave
. At a stop light, she
rested her head on the steering wheel. A honk behind her alerted her
that the light had turned green.

Julia found Spencer in his office alone, with his
sleeves rolled up and his blond hair disheveled. One of the reasons
they worked so well together was because they were both driven to
succeed. She’d heard he came from a wealthy family, trying to win
the favor of his father, one of the board members. Helping to turn
around the college’s financial future was a step in the right
direction.

He looked up at her entrance. “Julia, it was great of
you to come. I hope I didn’t upset your evening.”

Julia smiled and shook her head, not wanting to divulge
where she’d been. She sat down in a chair and scooted next to him.

Spencer eyed her speculatively. “Since when did you
start wearing men’s cologne?”

Her gaze flew to his in shock. “What?”

Rubbing his face harshly, he blew out a breath. “I’m
sorry, Julia. That was unacceptable. I’ve been staring at this
monitor too long. Forgive me?”

She nodded and decided the best way to deal with the
situation was to ignore it. “Tell me again what you’re having
trouble with.”

He pulled up the file in question on his computer and
pointed at the numbers on the screen. “These just don’t jibe with
our research.”

Julia scrutinized the numbers for several minutes,
checking back through her own computer files. “You’re right. I’m
glad you caught it. That discrepancy would’ve negated the fiscal
report we’ve been working on for the last two weeks.”

“
If it’s indeed a discrepancy.”

Julia tapped her pen on her chin, following his line of
thinking. “When was the last time the college was audited?”

“
Recently, but I’m not sure exactly when. I’ll
check it out tomorrow.”

She shut down her computer and closed it with a snap.
“Let me know what you find out.”

As she stood to leave, he caught her wrist. “Julia, I
really am sorry for what I said. I can hardly believe it came out of
my mouth.”

She tried to give him a reassuring smile. “We’re
both tired.”

Releasing her, he stood. “Isn’t that the truth. Wait
a minute and I’ll walk with you out to your car.”

The moment she was on the road, her plastic smile turned
grim.

Men
. What had Spencer meant by that comment? Was
he jealous or something?
On second thought, I don’t want to
know
. She thought next of the tight look on Marc’s face when
she’d left his apartment.
Men!

She shouldn’t have to apologize for just doing her
job. It wasn’t her fault her work sometimes demanded more than nine
to five hours. Marc couldn’t expect her to put her career on hold
for him. He certainly wouldn’t for her. She held onto the anger and
nursed it, preferring it to the usual feeling of guilt. It always
came down to the old double standard.

But as quickly as the anger came, it died. Deep fatigue
made her shoulders droop when she finally pulled into her driveway.
At times like these, she wanted nothing better than to chuck her
career into the nearest trash can.

If I’m brutally honest, the feeling of success and
independence seems elusive this time around.
She thought of the
increase in dizzy spells and heart palpitations. Maybe I do need to
slow down a little. But the next thought came on the heels of the
first.

One of these days
.

***

Julia peered into the mirror the next morning and
inspected her face for wrinkles. While she couldn’t be sure there
were any new ones today, she did notice violet shadows under her
eyes. She frowned at her reflection and made a few last touches on
her hair style. When she heard a knock on the door, she sighed.

Sara smiled brightly when Julia opened the door.

“
Good morning, Julia! Would you please come along with
me to the house?”

Putting on a brave smile for what she knew was coming,
she followed her sister-in-law across the driveway. “How’s baby
Alan doing? Whenever I pop in for a look, he’s asleep.”

“
He’s doing great, growing fast, and he specifically
asked to see you this morning.”

“
I look forward to seeing him, too.”

Inside the house, Sara led the way into the dining room.
A huge bouquet of helium balloons graced the center of the table
along with a colorful vase of flowers. Brian sat at the table,
holding the baby, who was right in the middle of a big yawn.

“
Happy Birthday, Julia!” Brian said when he saw her.

Julia groaned good-naturedly. “I’d hoped everyone
would forget.”

“
See, I told you this would make her grumpy,” Brian
told his wife. “She’s always a bear on her birthday.”

“
Well, if I was a year younger instead of older, I
might be in a better mood.”

“
Thirty two is very young,” Sara said.

“
That, coming from a twenty-something,” she said
dryly.

Brian laughed. “Big faux pas, Sara. If you insist on
giving my sister a party, you must never,
ever
mention her
age.”

Sara wadded up a napkin and threw it at her husband,
hitting him squarely on the nose.

Julia sat down at the table. “This is very thoughtful.
Thank you both.”

Sara went into the kitchen and returned with a small
cake, a lighted candle in the middle. She and Brian broke out into
the ‘Happy Birthday’ song, and Julia had to smile in spite of
herself.

“
Okay, Brian. You can start in on all the jokes. Let’s
see, there’s only a single candle because you couldn’t afford
thirty-one more. Go ahead and say it.”

Brian gave her a hug. “Sorry, sis. I value my life too
much.”

“
I know cake isn’t the best breakfast,” Sara said,
“but it’s carrot cake with whole wheat flour and low fat cream
cheese frosting. Not that you need to worry, but I at least made an
attempt at something nutritious.”