Lighting the Flames (27 page)

Every part of her skin
felt like she
’
d come inside from being out too long in the cold. His
touch was like heat, so welcome, and so painful, like plunging
frozen hands into warm water. Despite the tingling burn, she
couldn
’
t pull away.

The way he made her
feel, hot and liquid like burning oil, she didn
’
t want any more
boundaries between them. She grabbed his arms with both hands and
held on before she moved her hands beneath the edge of his shirt,
feeling his shiver when her fingertips moved over his skin. She
knew what his chest looked like. If she added up the hours
she
’
d spent with him when he didn
’
t have a shirt on,
that time might be measured in years. But knowing what he looked
like was nothing compared to learning how he felt, and how he
reacted.

She moved her fingers through the hair covering his
abdomen, feeling the ridges of his muscles contract with her touch.
The more she touched him, the deeper he kissed her, until touch and
taste had mingled into a single overwhelming sensation.

They kissed for what might have been hours, or might
have been ten minutes. Gen had no idea. There was no way to tell
time when her world reached no farther than his lips, his tongue,
his hands on her back, her hips, and the curving path she traced
across the flexing muscles of his arms and his back. She wanted
more light so she could see her fingertips exploring the terrain of
his body. She wanted to follow her hands with her eyes and her
mouth, learn the taste and texture of every part of him.

She lay facing him and found she could only map his
skin the way she wished with one hand. The other was pinned beneath
her. Jeremy could reach her with one hand as well, and they broke
apart at the same moment to shift position, to try to move toward
one another. His smile, so close to her, made her want more of him,
and she grinned as she freed her arm and tried to push him onto his
back.

“
Oh,
no,
”
he said, pretending to fight back yet allowing her to slide
over him.

But then the fabric of
the sleeping bag, already pulled tight beneath his body, trapped
her, and she couldn
’
t move toward him at all. He tried to lift his
back and move the fabric beneath him to give her more room, but it
didn
’
t work and only made the constriction worse. She started to
laugh.

“
Gen, I hate sleeping bags like you have no idea right
now.
”
He wrapped one arm around her as he rolled to the side to
try to fix their very small, very limited space.

Then she heard boots crunching in the snow below the
windows, heading toward the cabin door.

“
Shit,
”
Jeremy breathed.

Gen slid out of the sleeping bag as fast as she
could and dove back into her own, wrapping the open side around her
and dropping her head to her pillow. Those footsteps turned into
stomping as someone, probably Scott, cleared the snow from their
boots. Then the door opened.

“
Hey, kids,
”
Scott said, an awkward smile on his face. Jeremy
looked at him, and Gen wasn
’
t sure she could
trust herself not to start babbling with nervousness, so she
waved.

“
You
guys okay up here?
”

“
Yup,
”
Jeremy said.
“
Plenty of wood
standing by.
”

Gen pressed her face down into the pillow and bit
the corner to keep from laughing aloud. She was going to kill
Jeremy. Twice.

“
Right,
”
Scott said.
“
It
shouldn
’
t be as cold as it was last night, but if it starts to get
dangerous or unsafe up here, I want you two to move to some of the
family cabins, got it?
”

Jeremy nodded.
“
Understood.
”

Gen rolled to her side and bit the inside of her
cheek as she looked up and nodded at Scott.

“
I
’
ll stop letting the cold air in now,
”
Scott said finally,
backing out of the cabin and shutting the door.
“
Good
night.
”

Gen waited until the
crunch of Scott
’
s boots in the snow receded into the distance before
she looked at Jeremy.

“
Dude. Seriously?
”

He smirked at her.

“
Plenty of wood standing by?
Oh, my God, Jeremy. I think my mouth is bleeding from
biting my tongue.
”

“
He
left, didn
’
t he?
”

“
You
might as well have waved a flag made of condoms at
him.
”

“
That
’
s not a bad idea for next summer.
”
Then his face
changed, and he looked at her, a little sadly.
“
Think you could pull
that off?
”

“
There is nothing I want to do that includes condoms if
you
’
re not involved.
”

Jeremy snorted. Then he unzipped his bag.

“
Where are you going? Are you leaving?
”

“
Nope.
”
He stood and pulled his mattress away from her. She
felt cold slice through her chest. He was moving
away.

Then he spun his bed around and slid it alongside
hers, placing her between himself and the fire, then dropped his
pillow behind hers. He climbed back into his sleeping bag, zipped
it up, and moved closer to her.

Gen rolled over onto her back. The fire covered his
face with moving light and shadows and she watched him as he gazed
at her.

“
Scott
’
s such a mood killer.
”
She was whispering
again, though she had no reason to.

“
Yeah. Come closer? Please?
”

She slid across her
mattress with the hiss of nylon against nylon, and he moved one arm
beneath her to bring her closer. His eyes were a thousand shades of
green and gold, and she wasn
’
t sure
she
’
d be able to sleep. Maybe she should count them instead of
sheep. He
’
d have to stay awake. She could keep him awake.

“
I
’
m sorry,
”
he whispered, his lips moving against hers when he
spoke. She nodded.

She understood his
apology. And he was right. As much as she wanted to rip off their
clothes and run for the finish line, it didn
’
t seem quite right.
They needed to find space for one another when they
weren
’
t at Meira, to figure out how to keep going when they
weren
’
t in the suspended reality of camp.

“
Did
you set an alarm?
”
She nodded again.
“
Six?
”

“
No,
five thirty, unfortunately.
”

“
Ugh. Why so early?
”

“
The
bus might arrive any time after six. So I have to be up at the
gate.
”

“
I
’
ll go with you.
”
The tip of his nose rubbed against
hers.

“
No,
you have to go help load the luggage, I think.
That
’
s what it says on your schedule.
”

“
Don
’
t leave tomorrow without finding me.
”

“
Wouldn
’
t dream of it,
”
she said, lifting her face to kiss
him.

There
wasn
’
t blazing intensity like there had been moments before. His
kiss was slow, and gentle, like falling into bed, warm and safe,
more comfort than possibility.

“
Good night,
”
he whispered.

“
Night,
”
she replied. Then she rolled over, facing the fire,
and heard him move closer behind her. She could feel the solid
warmth of his body through her sleeping bag and his, and his arm
was still curved beneath her. She slid lower on her pillow until
his arm was beneath her neck so his hand wouldn
’
t go numb. Then she
slid her fingers slowly between his, watching the light flicker
over their hands before she fell asleep.

*

Sunday, December 21,
2014
—
29 Kislev 5775

When she woke up,
Jeremy was already gone. He
’
d tucked his blankets
over her, and she
’
d slept until her alarm went off. His sleeping bag was
cold. He
’
d left wood burning in the fireplace, but the log was more
gray than black, so it had been burning awhile.

The morning was a blur
of cold wind and an evolving to-do list. To her relief, the gate
motor was working, so she opened it easily for the bus, which
arrived at precisely 6:02, just as she
’
d expected. After a
split-second breakfast, she said good-bye to the Winter Camp
families, promising them a special private gallery of the pictures
she
’
d taken when she was got home. Once they were all loaded
onto the bus headed back to the city, the camp grew silent, but her
day increased in speed.

Scott, Jeremy,
Genevieve, and the kitchen staff all had tasks to complete to close
up camp after the families left, but each item Genevieve checked
off spawned three more. She bundled up the laundry from each bunk,
but then had to find a working vehicle to bring it to the office.
Once all the blankets, spare towels, and extra cot sheets were at
the office, she had to find a laundry bag, since all of the summer
bags were packed up somewhere, and she didn
’
t have time to look.
By the time lunch was ready, she was exhausted and so cold she felt
brittle. She still had things to do, but they were, mercifully, all
tasks that she could complete inside. Preferably near a fire, if
not sitting in the hearth itself.

She wrapped her fingers around her paper cup of tea,
wondering if she should get one for each hand. Scott sat down in
front of her, pulling off his cap and shaking ice from his
hair.

“
Whoa. Where were you?
”

“
Checking the platforms, following all footprints to make
sure no supplies were left outside.
”

“
Oh,
no, I
’
m sorry. A lot of those were mine or
Jeremy
’
s. We could have told you that those areas were clear as of
last night.
”

Scott shook his
head.
“
I still have to check them myself.
”

Genevieve nodded, then
looked around.
“
Where is Jeremy?
”

“
On
the turnpike by now, I think.
”

Gen stared at him.

“
He
didn
’
t find you before he left?
”

She shook her head slowly, trying to breathe through
a disappointment that burned her throat.

“
His
dad called this morning
—
called the camp
office.
”
Scott
’
s eyebrows disappeared into his hairline.
“
He was
lucky I was there. Said he needed Jeremy to get back as soon as
possible.
”

“
Did
something happen?
”

Scott shrugged.
“
No idea.
Just asked me to tell Jeremy to check his phone and then get home
ASAP. Jeremy said he was going to find you before he
left.
”

“
I
was all over the place this morning. I would have been hard to
find.
”
She spoke mostly to herself.

Last year, he
hadn
’
t told her why he was leaving, but he
’
d said good-bye. Now,
she knew why he
’
d had to go, but he hadn
’
t found her,
hadn
’
t spoken to her before he left. Either way, it
hurt.