Life's Next Chapter (15 page)

“Luke, I want this,” I whisper to him as I slide the zipper down and place my hand inside his boxer briefs.

“Sunshine, I need you. I always need you. You are my calm in the fucking storm that is in my head. Kate, I need to be inside you.” I nod my head in eagerness for him to be inside of me. Luke holds me by the waist as he stands up and fetches his wallet out of his back pocket. I take the wallet out of his hands and pull the condom out. He sets me back on his lap with his pants pulled down his hips. I rip the packet open and glide the condom down his massive, erect cock. He skims his fingers across my lower abdomen and down my bare mound, where his fingers caress my clit. “I love how wet you get for me, Sunshine,” he whispers into my ear as he licks and nibbles on my ear lobe.

I start to move my hips. I want more and his fingers are teasing my clit. “Luke,” I moan his name. Then he thrust two fingers inside of me. I rock my hips back and forth.

“I want you inside…now.” Luke pulls his fingers out and takes his forefinger and wipes my juices across my bottom lip. “Taste yourself, baby. You taste fucking good.” I lick my lips as he sticks his fingers in his mouth and sucks on them. Our eyes gaze into each other’s. His eyes are full of love for me. He hasn’t said the words, but I sure as hell can feel it in the way he touches me and right now by the way he stares at me. I only hope my eyes are reciprocating the same feeling for him.

He grabs me by the hips and directs me over his cock. I slide down on his cock; every time he’s inside me feels like the first time. He drives my nerves insane, my brain is already on sensory overload just by us fooling around. Luke crashes his firm mouth onto my lips. I suck his tongue slowly mimicking the movements he and I are doing on the couch. Luke shoves his hands into my hair and grips onto it for dear life. “Faster, Kate…move faster.” I spread my legs a little more, so I can slide down on him. Then I move my hips faster. Luke is starting to growl at every thrust and grind into him. I can feel the sparks starting to ignite in my womb. My clit starts to throb and I know I’m going to come. I know Luke is at the end of his rope. “Kate, together…with me, baby.” I scream out his name when my body starts to shake from my orgasm. Luke moans out my name when he releases. I’m depleted and worn out. As we try to even out our labored breath, I place my head against his chest.

I hear the sound I always envisioned as my most embarrassing and worst nightmare in one. “Mommy…what are you doing?” I thought Luke was going to have whip lash as he looked between Julia and me. I’m sitting on his lap with his cock still inside me. Luckily, my shirt hasn’t risen up my back and I’m not mooning my own child. I glance at Luke and his eyes are bugging out, like a cartoon character.
Shit…Think Kate!!

“Uh…” I grab Luke’s hand and fold his fingers in so he’s giving me a ‘thumbs up’. “Julia, we were just playing thumb wars. See,” I say sheepishly, as I hold up Luke’s hand and mine twined together for a game of thumb war. She keeps walking closer, and if I could jump off his lap without scarring my child, I would.

“Did Luke win?” Julia says in a sleepy voice.

“I guess he won.” I mutter to her.

“Are you mad, Momma?” She asks, tilting her head.

“No princess, why would I be mad?”

“You were yelling because Luke won.”

My eyes fly to Luke, and if I didn’t have the ‘Oh Fuck’ look on my face, he would have been keeled over, laughing his ass off. “Julia, why are you awake?”

“My belly hurts, Momma,” she complains, rubbing her belly.

“It’s all that candy you ate. Go in the kitchen, and I’ll be right there to get you some medicine.” Trying to get her away from us so I can maneuver off Luke’s lap without her seeing any anatomy parts. Finally, she walks to the kitchen, and I jump off Luke’s lap like it was on fire. He yanks his pants up and heads for the bathroom, as I proceed to the kitchen and give Julia some water and Pepto. Thankfully, I’m able to walk her back to bed and tuck her in without any stalling.

My bedroom light is on, so I walk in and he’s already in my bed, laughing quietly. Grabbing a pillow from the floor I throw it at him. “Shut up! Do you know how bad that could have been?”

He is just laughing, catching his breath. “Thumb wars? Seriously, Kate, that was hysterical, and I’m not talking about Julia catching us. She’s four, does she even know the game thumb wars?” I have to say, listening to him laugh has got to be the best sound I could ever hear from him.

Walking towards the bathroom I snatch a pillow from the bed, and smack him playfully with it. “Screw you…that was embarrassing. I don’t care if she is four or not. And, yes, she does know what a thumb war is.” Laughing at myself, I enter the bathroom. Looking back, it was pretty funny, and most likely Julia was probably still somewhat asleep. In the bathroom, I clean myself up and brush my teeth. I walk over to the bed and crawl into Luke’s warm arms. I think I’ve slept better in the last several weeks with him than I have in years. His arms are my safe haven, I feel completely and utterly safe, secure, and wanted in these arms. A feeling I hope never goes away and only grows with time.

TWO WEEKS HAVE gone by. The stables remodel is done, and they are beautiful. Brody and Luke outdid themselves. The horses are back and loving their new home, and my clients couldn’t be happier. After the incident with Keith at the house, Luke knew my job and the stable were my life, so he had security cameras installed in the stable and on the outside of the clinic. My clients are thrilled, they have internet access and can see their beloved animal and I get to charge a little more for the convenience. His consideration for our safety made me realize just how much he cares for me, and the girls.

I haven’t seen Luke in a couple days; he is off on another job. When he finished work on the last day it was so hard knowing I wouldn’t see him every day. My feelings for him have grown considerably in eight weeks. Lately, I have been emotional and sad; I didn’t think I would miss him this much. I know I feel something for him. Not just something; I know I love him, but I’m scared shitless. I thought I loved Keith, and look how that turned out.

I’m a complete mess; my worst fear is most certainly here. I have been feeling like crap. Luke thinks I’m coming down with the flu; how the hell do I tell him it’s a nine-month flu? I can’t believe this happened to me, again. Who knew lighting could strike twice in the same spot? I am walking proof to all those high school health classes: all it takes is one time, in the heat of the moment to jumble up your life. Hell, my life should be a walking billboard, my face should be printed on packs of birth control saying: ‘Take these or you will end up like this complete mess of a woman.’ One fucking time and I’m pregnant. I honestly think my eggs are hanging out around my vagina, because this is unreal. I didn’t purposely try to get pregnant either time. With Keith, I messed up my timing, that’s all it was, and BAM, two eggs and two babies nine months later…oh shit. Good God, what if it’s twins again? I swear I wish I had that feeling other ladies have when they ovulate. Crap what I need is for my vagina to close during the week of ovulation, completely sealed shut, like a damn Ziploc bag!
UGH!!

I still haven’t taken a test. I know I really don’t need a test, because I haven’t had my period in five weeks. I’m holding out for hope, or a big fucking miracle, that my period decided to take a vacation and skip a month. I’m in BIG TIME DENIAL; there is a small chance this could be the flu. I don’t think I have ever wished this hard for the flu bug…hell, I wish for the flu, migraine, yeast infection, and constipation all rolled in one for me not to be pregnant. I can’t be pregnant! I can’t go through all of that…again!

I’m going to murder Beth. She totally jinxed me with having a baby Leonardo. Beth is going to freak. She always wanted us to have babies together. She had such a hard time getting pregnant. It took me six weeks to tell her I was pregnant with twins. It killed me knowing I didn’t ask to get pregnant, and then here I was pregnant with two. Now she is eight months pregnant. She’s going to want to throw a party for my upcoming arrival. I want to go back to that stupid moment in the truck. I should have just slapped the shit out of him instead of riding his cock.

Now Ella, she’s going to give me a piece of her mind. She’s our mother hen between Beth and me. She’ll give me her professional advice, since she is an OB/GYN nurse, and then she’ll give me her personal opinion, as she is also pregnant with her third baby. She’s due in April. To think we all will have little ones again, dealing with diapers, car seats, no sleep, formula, crying…vomiting. I don’t know if it was the fear of starting all over again or if it is my ‘flu’ starting, but the mention of baby vomit had me running for the toilet.

While brushing my teeth, I walk out of the bathroom and see Luke standing in the doorway. “How long have you been standing there?” He just gives me this blank stare.

“Long enough to hear you hurl into the toilet. You, okay?” He looks confused and concerned.

Walking to the bed, I pull back the covers and climb underneath. “Yeah, I think I am getting sick.” I can’t look at him, knowing I’m lying to this amazing man, but I need more time. Like many more months of time. I’m not ready.

“Do you need me to go to the store and get you anything?” He sits next to me on the edge of the bed and lays the back of his hand on my forehead. “You don’t have a fever
.
”
Nope, not with this sickness you don’t!
“Where are the girls? I can take them off your hands for a while, so you can rest.” His fingers comb through my hair, and I lean the side of my face into his palm.

“No, Granddaddy took the girls to meet Keith at the park. I was in no mood to deal with him, and Granddaddy will keep him in line.”

“Do you want company in the bed, then? We can watch movies, or just sleep. Whatever you want.”

I pull back the comforter, exposing the empty space beside me and pat the bed. “Come hold me,” I mumble. I watch him walk around the bed. He kicks off his shoes, pulls his phone out of his pocket and places it on the nightstand, unbuckles his belt and drags his jeans down his long legs, then yanks his shirt off with one quick move. The feel of his warm body against mine relaxes me. I lay my head on his arm, my back against his chest.

“Kate, I have a huge favor to ask you,” he whispers in my ear.

I automatically think it’s the worst case, “What is it?” I roll over to face him. Placing his hand on my cheek, he looks into my eyes.

“Will you and the girls come to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving? I want you to meet my family. Both of my sisters are flying in, and Danika will be there to hang out with the girls.”

I rub my fingers against the stubble on his chin. I lean in and give him a soft kiss. “I would love nothing more than to meet your family.” His eyes glass over and he tries to catch his breath, as if I knocked the wind out of him. I can feel his body tense.

“Kate…” he barely says my name. I continue to look at him waiting for the rest of what he needs to say. Minutes pass, but the rest never comes.

“What is it, Luke? You can tell me?”

His lips are barely moving, but no sound is coming through them. “Thank you for this,” he quickly says. I have a feeling that wasn’t what he was originally going to say.

We lay in comfortable silence for a while just watching an HGTV show. I lean up on my elbow. “Luke, will you go with me to Beth’s birthday dinner on Saturday? I want you to meet my best friends and their husbands.”

His hand slides up and down my arm. “Of course, sunshine.” I wrap my body into his, placing my head on his chest. Listening to the drumming sound of his heartbeat, it is loud, fast, and ferocious, as if he is fighting against something.

I have so much to tell him. My head is swimming in a whirlpool. I feel like my emotions are fighting against this rip current. I’m trying to stay focused on the present, to keep swimming parallel against the tide, but I can’t keep up with the current, it’s too strong and I drift further and further into the sea of ‘what may lay ahead’. I’m terrified of being alone in this all over again. I’m scared of being a mother again. I’m delaying the inevitable; I need to take the flipping test. Even though I know I am; I really don’t need two blue lines to tell me. Luke says he wants a family, but what will happen when he finds out it happened so fast, what if he doesn’t want this crazy life with me? Now, he wants me to meet his family. Oh God, what if they hate me? I already know Danika does, maybe she feels I’m taking her father away and shoving my girls on him. I don’t know, I know I need to talk to her. She has got to be scared, just as I am. I will get a test, but I’m not telling Luke until after the following weekend.

“Luke, can I ask you something?” He diverts his attention from the television to me and nods his head for me to continue “Where do you see us…say in a few months…hell even a year from now? I mean is this,” I motion with my finger back and forth between us, “a big commitment? Like, I can tell the girls you are a part of my life and it’s okay to see you around the house more? Or is this just a let’s see where this goes type of thing? Because I care for you immensely, and I want more, Luke.”

Luke throws the covers back and hovers over me. He fierce green eyes take my breath away. “I want nothing more than to be permanently in your life. I’ve waited my whole adult life for you. You and those girls are everything, and more, to me. I would like to aim for infinity with you.” With those words, tears pool in my eyes. I want to tell him right then and there that I love him. That what I truly feel is love. That, even though I’m scared of the ‘what if’s, as long as there is love, we can get through it. But, my body retaliates, my stomach flips and the pressure in my chest hits me at warp speed. “Oh God!” I moan out. He leans in for a kiss. I place my hand on his mouth and try to push him away. “Get up, Luke…now!” I yell as I place my hand over my mouth. He jumps off of me and helps me out of the bed. I run for the bathroom and make it just in time to the toilet. Yep, it’s official: morning sickness.